PlainSpoken podcast

Exiled by the Institution

2026-10-21
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On October 19 I sat down with Rev. Jake Dell, a former Episcopal priest who now pastors a Congregational church in Connecticut. His memoir, Exile and Return, comes out in November. What follows is a written recap of our conversation. The full interview is in the video above.

The Secret Society

I started talking at cameras a few years ago because I was frustrated with how poorly information spread during the United Methodist disaffiliation season. Along the way I found that Methodists weren’t the only ones walking this road. Other Christian institutions had the same story of drift, corruption and changed identity, and I’ve learned a lot from the people who lived it. One of them is Jake Dell. He was one of three main voices in All Are Not Welcome, the documentary Jon Harris of Conversations That Matter released with another crew. It runs an hour and 22 minutes and is free on YouTube.

Jake wanted one thing clear at the outset. Most people now hear “Anglican” and think of the Anglican Church in North America, which broke from the Episcopal Church in 2008. “I was ordained in the Episcopal Church and my whole story takes place in the Episcopal Church,” he said. “It’s not about the split.”

He’s a Northeastern guy, a Yale man, more at home in elite culture than I’ll ever be. I never fit in in Boston. But we agreed before we hit record that neither of us has ever really fit in where we are. So I started with Yale and its secret societies. To what degree is institutional power like a secret society?

“I think it’s very much like a secret society,” Jake said, “in the sense that you don’t always necessarily know when you’re being watched or evaluated or what the right words are to say, what you need to say to get in, what you might say that will keep you out. So there are all kinds of shibboleths.” If you’re lucky, someone comes alongside you early and “for lack of a better word disciples you,” telling you what to say, what to wear, where to show up and who not to talk to.

Abominable

I’ve never been able to keep it in. My podcast is called PlainSpoken for a reason, and a lot of doors have never opened to me because people know it will be uncomfortable. Reading Jake’s memoir, I sensed he’d had more patience than I have for holding his tongue for the sake of a later, greater goal.

He said that’s true, but his default was plain speech too, and he learned young that it wasn’t rewarded. At Yale he wrote a paper on British rule in India, where the British banned sati, the Hindu practice of a widow throwing herself on her husband’s funeral pyre. He called it “the abominable practice of sati.” He was marked down and told not to frame things from a Christian or Western perspective. The TA who graded it was, and still is, quite conservative. “That was actually an example of someone trying to do me a favor,” Jake said, “someone trying to teach me the code language… and also tamping down my plain speech.”

I told him it feels to me that whenever you give space, Satan is happy to take it. He’s an opportunist. Jake agreed. He first felt called to ordained ministry in 1991 as a high school senior. At Yale he learned what you could and couldn’t say, at the height of political correctness, and retreated into what he called a conservative underground. After graduating in 1995 he wanted nothing to do with Yale or the institutional church, and he hung his sense of vocation on the wall for about ten years. He explored Roman Catholicism and homeschooling and tried to insulate his family from the world: “Be separate, touch not the unclean thing.”

“Therefore come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” — 2 Corinthians 6:17 (BSB)

That ghetto didn’t help him either. Neither circumspection nor withdrawal works, he said. After COVID he came back around to the plain words of Jesus.

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one. — Matthew 5:37 (BSB)

Turning Up the Volume

Sermons like the ones Jake and I preach are seen as extreme today, though early American preachers said far more controversial things. What drove Jake out of the Episcopal Church wasn’t even his preaching. He talked about sin and the need for a Savior in every sermon, and people came for it. One parishioner told him Christ had been missing from that pulpit before he arrived. But he never had the volume anywhere near ten. “My hope was that if I preached the gospel, preached sin, preached atonement and salvation, that the Holy Spirit would do the application. Well, not quite.” Sermons need to spell it out: therefore you cannot do this, therefore you must do that.

What got him in trouble was simply being known as a priest who wouldn’t perform a same-sex wedding. People deduced it from where he went to seminary and from the bishop who ordained him. The “big tent” the Episcopal Church promised when it changed its marriage rules collapsed after 2020, under COVID and George Floyd.

For me, the capacious middle ended with COVID. I don’t have honest words of comfort for anyone on the cultural or religious left, and I can’t go back. That has been terrifying, because I wonder whether one day no church will take me.

I told Jake about Paul Washer preaching to a youth convention in the 1990s. He lit into a culture looking to Britney Spears for what only Christ can give, and the kids cheered and clapped. Then he stopped: “I do not know why you were clapping, because I’m talking about you.” The room went dead silent. Ever since, I’ve known you can’t depend on people to connect the dots. John Wesley, an Anglican priest himself, chases you down until you cry out for mercy.

“That’s right,” Jake said. “Hound of heaven.” He also pointed to what Calvin called the power of the keys: the preacher preaches the godly into the church and preaches the ungodly out. If people get up and leave, “that’s probably good because they’re making room for the people who should be there to come in.” Methodists struggle with that. Jake allowed that even in a Methodist church, someone may leave under conviction and find his way back because of something you said.

The Blacklist and the Dead Cat

In his book Jake describes how it became clear the Episcopal Church had no place for him. He wasn’t formally forced out, but he was smeared. The church’s disciplinary canons were weaponized against him and other conservative clergy, with charges filed without merit, over their involvement with Operation Reconquista and Redeemed Zoomer’s Discord server. Those clergy were acting as chaplains to a spontaneous youth movement.

“The church has spent all my life, 50 years, trying to say, how do we reach the young people? Well, when the young people showed up and self-organized, the Episcopal Church didn’t know what to do with it, primarily because they were conservative.” They were the wrong kind of youth, and they hadn’t come up through the system of command and control.

Every large organization keeps an informal list, Jake said, whether it’s a law firm or the military. By the end of his tenure, the Episcopal Church was publishing his name on its blacklist outright. In the book he also uses the term “dead cat”: the person who has jumped through the hoops but won’t carry the message. Jake’s other word for it was “sidelined.” He was a priest in good standing, but the fellowships, recommendations and invitations never came. Everything he had learned at Yale told him what was happening. He knew there were meetings he wasn’t invited to.

All You Hold Is a Promise

Jake’s first parish was in northern Manhattan, at the end of the subway line. It was explicit going in that the diocese wanted to sell part of the property, and he was told to be the poster child for it. The lot was subdivided and sold for a sizable sum, but the congregation didn’t get what it was told it would get. The memorandum of understanding that should have been signed at the start wasn’t drafted until the deal had closed.

It doesn’t take corr…



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