Episode 186: Period Sex, Internal Vs External Processors, & Queer In A Straight Relationship

It’s officially 2025 and you might be feeling like your relationship could use a fresh start. We asked our Instagram audience if they’ve ever wished for a fresh start in their relationship—and the responses came pouring in! We’re reading through your submissions, sharing our thoughts, and offering practical advice for anyone looking to refresh their connection with their partner. Whether you’re dealing with intimacy, post-pregnancy, or even income issues, we’ve got you covered with tips to help you and your partner move forward and rekindle that spark. Links & Resources: Reignite your love life in just 7 days? ➡︎ https://shop.vmtherapy.com/your-best-week-ever/?ref=podcast-188&utm_term=podcast-188 Treat Your Partner to the Best F0replay they've ever had: https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/?ref=podcast-188&utm_term=podcast-188 Check out our NYT best selling book Sex Talks: ➡︎ https://sextalksbook.com/?ref=podcast-188&utm_term=podcast-188 Connect with us! 👋 Instagram ➡︎ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Our VIP Email list: ➡︎ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Thanks Hungryroot. That’s Hungryroot.com/pillow, to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

We were feeling inspired… The Ultimatum is back on Netflix, and it was wild. It left us wondering if our own audience has ever given (or been given) a relationship ultimatum, so we asked! In this episode, we’re breaking down your ultimatums and sharing our opinions and advice. If you’ve ever considered giving an ultimatum - or if you’re just curious about the ones other people have issued - this is a must-listen! Links & Resources: Reignite your love life in just 7 days? ➡︎ https://shop.vmtherapy.com/your-best-week-ever/?ref=podcast-188&utm_term=podcast-188 Treat Your Partner to the Best F0replay they've ever had: https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/?ref=podcast-188&utm_term=podcast-188 Check out our NYT best selling book Sex Talks: ➡︎ https://sextalksbook.com/?ref=podcast-188&utm_term=podcast-188 Connect with us! 👋 Instagram ➡︎ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Our VIP Email list: ➡︎ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co.

Tis the Season for DRAMA! We’re so excited to bring you another hilarious “Am I The Asshole?” episode this week. In the theme of the season, we’re doing another holiday edition. We’re talking about affairs, secret Santa mishaps, and a disastrous salmon situation. Get ready to grab your coziest blanket and cup of cocoa for this new episode of one of our favorite series! Links & Resources: Join our VIP email list Follow us on Instagram If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks ZocDoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow

There are a ton of topics we want to cover on this podcast, but sometimes we just don’t have enough material to make a full hour-long episode for each one. So we’re trying something new to give you our hottest takes and tips… a multi-topic episode! Today we’re talking about being non-hetero in a male-female relationship, period sex, and internal versus external processors. Think of this episode like a podcast tossed salad and get ready to dive in. Links & Resources: Join our VIP email list Follow us on Instagram If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow Thanks Miracle. Go to trymiracle.com/PILLOW and use the code PILLOW to claim your FREE 3-PIECE TOWEL SET and SAVE over 40% OFF. Thanks Unbound Merino. Head over to their website unboundmerino.com where new customers can use our code PILLOW for 15% off of their order!

Today we’re tackling one of the trickiest and most controversial topics we get asked about - porn. Is it OK to watch porn even if you’re in a relationship? Can it become addicting? Can you forbid your partner from watching it? In this episode we cover how porn affects you personally, pros and cons to bringing porn into your relationship, and what to do if you and your partner disagree. This is a topic that every couple needs to talk about in their relationship, so use this episode to open up a conversation! Links & Resources: Join our email list! Instagram: @vanessaandxander If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Chewy. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop your personal favorites at Chewy.com/pillows. Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co Thanks Unbound Merino. Head over to their website unboundmerino.com where new customers can use our code PILLOW for 15% off of their order!

Do you want more physical intimacy in your relationship? In this episode, we’re talking about different kinds of physical intimacy, why it’s so important, how to ask your partner for more, and what to do if you’re worried they won’t understand. Links & Resources: Challenge: Sweet Or Spicy If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks Jack Black. Go to GetJackBlack.com/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for 10% off your order. Thanks MarleySpoon. Experience the most personalized meal kit today with Marley Spoon. Head to MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for up to 25 FREE meals!

Do you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship? In today’s episode, we’re covering what emotional intimacy actually is, how to get more of it in your relationship, and even what to do if your partner doesn’t understand what you want. Links & Resources: Challenge: Sweet Or Spicy If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co

What happens when you have a fantasy that your partner is just not into? When your “yum” is their “yuck” if you will. We asked our IG community for stories about times when their partner wanted to try something they weren’t into, or vice versa. Now, we’re sharing our best advice on how to handle the differences. Links & Resources: Sign up for our email list: vmtherapy.com/subscribe Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to cozyearth.com/pillowtalks and use code PILLOWTALKS for an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow Thanks Jack Black. Go to GetJackBlack.com/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for 10% off your order.

How are we really doing? We had a plan to talk about a different topic, but once we sat down in front of the mics, we decided to go rogue and talk about what life has really been like recently. In today’s episode, we’re getting extra personal and sharing some of our ups and downs from the year so far. We’ve got details about all the tough decisions we’ve been making about the future of our company, personal updates about the state of our relationship, and even a behind-the-scenes look at the state of this podcast… Links & Resources: Our Courses & Guides Thanks Chewy. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop your personal favorites at Chewy.com/pillows.

It’s time for another edition of one of our most popular series, Smash or Pass! This is where we try out the internet’s weirdest sex tips, so you don’t have to! (We even recorded audio of ourselves trying out a lot of the tips…) Today’s theme is sex tips from 90’s and 00’s women’s magazines. Do these tips about “driving your man wild” actually work? Tune in to find out! Links & Resources: Guide: The Sexual Mastery Package Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks Jack Black. Go to GetJackBlack.com/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for 10% off your order.