OTWC 038: Accountability and Consent - On The Wet Coast

On this episode of On The Wet Coast Kat Stark & Flick Morrison talk to Mike Joseph, a radio personality, sex educator, and host of the podcast "Detoxicity: By Men, About Men, For Everyone" It's a podcast that looks at the question, "What does it mean to be a man in the 21st century?’ Mike is an advocate for mental health and has spoken at schools and on panels about his own experiences with depression and anxiety. He created the initiative Mindful Vinyl, which releases limited edition versions of albums on green vinyl, with a portion of the proceeds benefiting the mental health charity the JED Foundation. Mike is also on the Billboard 2020 Pride List of Industry-Shaping LGBTQ Executives ----- Kat's novel, Waking Up Polyamorous - is now out in Audiobook, paperback or ebook at Audible, amazon and other online retailers. Hear more of narrator Jacqueline Rendell Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @OnTheWetCoast @WetcoastKat @seriousFLICK We've got Swag! Check out our line of Wampa Wand merch--er, non-infringing Space Yeti merch--at OnTheWetCoast.redbubble.com Check out www.OnTheWetCoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

On this episode of On The Wet Coast Kat & Flick talk to author and sex educator Kevin Patterson about representation of sexuality and relationships in media. Find Kevin Patterson @PolyRoleModels and KevinAPattersonl.com Buy Kevin Patterson's books - https://www.kevinapatterson.com/books or your favourite book stores ----- Kat's novel, Waking Up Polyamorous - is now out in Audiobook, paperback or ebook at Audible, amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @OnTheWetCoast @WetcoastKat @seriousFLICK We've got Swag! Check out our line of Wampa Wand merch--er, non-infringing Space Yeti merch--at OnTheWetCoast.redbubble.com Check out www.OnTheWetCoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

On this episode of On The Wet Coast Kat & Flick talk to Psychologist Dr. Liz Powell about the challenges of re-entering the dating and sex game after more than a year of pandemic living. Find Dr. Liz @DrLizPowell and DrLizPowell.com Buy Building Open Relationships in pdf, ebook, or paperback - https://drlizpowell.com/buildingopenrelationshipsbook/ Do the ADHD sex & relationship survey - https://bit.ly/ADHDsex ----- We've got Swag! Check out our line of Wampa Wand merch--er, non-infringing Space Yeti merch--at OnTheWetCoast.redbubble.com Buy Kat Stark's novel, Waking Up Polyamorous - soon out in Audiobook! - in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @OnTheWetCoast @WetcoastKat @seriousFLICK Check out www.OnTheWetCoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

The most common question I get when talking about expressing needs during sex is, "Doesn't it wreck the mood?" As infuriating as I find it, I know it's not the fault of the person questioning since they can't help but have learned the lesson that any discussion is a mood-killer. From the first love scenes we ever see on screen our culture indoctrinates us with the idea that sexytimes should just 'flow'. There's no discussion of who might want what or how but somehow if we're doing it right, there's a telepathic link between the couple that means everyone just 'knows'. Expressing our needs and wants, as well as negotiating and communicating ongoing consent, don't fit into 'the flow' narrative, and while many of us have decided to re-write the rules of what constitutes a committed relationship, we're still resistant to throwing out the myth of 'The Flow'. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark discuss the toxic myth of "The Flow" and how more talking can mean better sex. We've got Swag! Check out our line of Wampa Wand merch--er, non-infringing Space Yeti merch--at OnTheWetCoast.redbubble.com Buy Kat Stark's novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected]   Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere Waking Up Polyamorous music - Now Son by Poddington Bear

Our sex-negative culture pushes us to repress and feel shame about our sexuality or lifestyle. Stepping out of the shadows and telling your story becomes an important act of rebellion. There are risks involved in telling your story. More than just the frowning disapproval of judgy relatives at holiday dinners, living an openly atypical life can lead to risks to employment, housing, medical care, and child custody. This is why it's doubly important that those who can live out loud do since their open existence is a powerful 'fuck you' to the status quo. Our guest today has been openly flipping off the establishment for more than 25 years since beginning the magazine 'Pucker Up' shortly after finishing college. She continues to do so as she works on a memoir telling her story from childhood through to her relationship with her father as he battled AIDS in the early years of the epidemic. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark are joined by Tristan Taormino to discuss her upcoming (as yet untitled) memoir and to talk about Telling Your Story as Resistance. Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, sex educator, speaker, and media maker. She is editor of 25 anthologies and the author of eight books on sex and relationships including Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships. She is founder of The Open List, a list of professionals (therapists, social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, consultants, relationship and life coaches, doctors, lawyers, etc.) who are experienced and knowledgeable about alternative sexuality and lifestyles, including open relationships, polyamory, and non-monogamy. She is the host of the long running podcast Sex Out Loud.  Find Tristan at @TristanTaormino and @SexOutLoud on Twitter and her patreon at https://www.patreon.com/tristantaormino Buy Kat Stark's novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected]   Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea</

One of the most exciting things about non-monogamy can be the novelty of new adventures and new people in our lives. At the same time, one of the many sources of stress in our world is an excess of choice. How can we make the right decisions with so many options as we try to decide who to date, who to make advance plans with, and/or who to hook up with at play parties or the swinger club? Due to that excess of choice we're often looking over our shoulder to see if there's anything else/better coming along rather than focusing on being where we are and who we're with. The FOMO  - Fear Of Missing Out - can make it that we're not able to be present in the moment and we don't ever truly enjoy the experience we're currently having. We can also get so caught up in comparing what we have with what others have that we never really appreciate the experiences we have and the people we have them with. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark are discussing Novelty, Being in the Moment, and Gangbangs. Buy Kat Stark's novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Happiness Lab Podcast available here Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected]   Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod

There's a certain art to crafting the right kind of message to convey what we're feeling via characters on a screen. Since so much of modern communication is done on said screens it can be a lot of work figuring out your personal style and mode of messaging.  Non-monogamous people spend extra time communicating with multiple partners in multiple forms, from the simple 'good morning' to setting up dates to having sexy chat time to talking about challenging feelings and even breaking up. Without audible tone or nonverbal cues, it can sometimes be hard to convey your thoughts or truly understand what someone else is saying to you via text message so today On The Wet Coast Kat Stark and Flick Morrison are discussing Texting, Sexting, and Messaging. Buy Kat Stark's new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm   Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod

Accountability and Consent can feel like the least fun topics to discuss when it comes to sexy lifestyles but when we really focus on building these factors in a way that lets go of the definitions used by the justice system and focuses on the subjective experiences of the parties, our kink and sexytimes can be much more fun. In an era of social media call-outs, it might feel risky to take part in activities where consent factors strongly, which means quality negotiations and being accountable to the consent rules of others (as well as our own) are more important than ever. Today Kat Stark & Flick Morrison talk to Victor Salmon, an educator and host of Intimate Interactions Podcast who has created the VOICES framework for Best Practices of Consent. Victor will help guide us through some of the ways we can make our consent negotiations lead to "high quality" consent so our playtimes can be great for everyone involved. @intimateVictor on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook Buy Kat Stark's new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm   Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod

It's always a bummer when dates don't go as planned or don't happen at all. There can be all kinds of reasons why things don't turn out as you'd hoped from unrealistic expectations, lack of connection, poor communication, uncooperative bodies, life circumstances, or just plain not being in the mood. Bouncing back from a disappointing date is an important skill in non-monogamous dating. More dates definitely makes for more opportunities for disappointment so we need to get comfortable learning from these experiences and figuring out how to have things go better the next time. I'm Kat Stark, and on this Episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and I will be discussing Disappointing Dates. We'll share some of our own experiences and what we did to get back into the swing of things after some less than ideal experiences. Buy Kat Stark's new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm   Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod  

It's no secret that On The Wet Coast, we love our sex toys. Using those toys for strap-on sex is one of our favourite ways to engage with partners, or watch our partners engage with others. Though in some ways it is as simple as popping a dildo in a harness and getting to work, strap-on sex tends to be a bit more nuanced than we expect when starting out. Finding the right equipment, the right harness and dildo combinations can be more challenging than we expect, especially since what is right for one partner or act isn't so right for another. And positioning yourself as the thruster as well as finding the right position for your receiver can be incredibly awkward, especially at first. I'm Kat Stark, and on this Episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and I are discussing Strapping It On. We've got lots of tips and suggestions to help you get up and thrusting and feeling like the sexual rock stars you are. Find out more about the gear we mention (and links to purchase) in this episode on our website - onthewetcoast.com. Buy Kat Stark's brand new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers. Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible , Itunes Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm   Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod