Why a Business Leader Mindset is Hurting Your Marriage with Lantz Howard | Episode 293

We had a record number of Marriage Intensives at the beginning of this year! For each intensive, we host a couple at our home for a whole weekend so that we can give them our undivided attention and really dive deep. As we worked with these couples, we were reminded of some of the themes that pop up over and over in relationships.One of the biggest ones? Anger. Anger is a normal part of life, but how we handle this emotion makes all the difference. Anger protects us, helps us guard against danger, and empowers us, but too often, anger is misused. This issue is at the core of so many of the marriage conflicts we see.In this episode, you’ll hear:The consequences of anger being misusedPractical steps to understand angerHow to take our feelings to GodAnd more!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/untangling-anger-294Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

In the business world, the ones who make it to the top are often high-achieving, ruthless, and confident. They’re calculated risk-takers. All of these characteristics can help professionals move up the ladder—but they don’t always translate well in those same people’s personal lives. In fact, when people try to take the strategies that bring them workplace success and apply them at home, they can end up harming their marriages.On the inside, high achievers often fear rejection and shy away from vulnerability—which can make it hard to achieve the close, loving relationships they desire.This was the experience of today’s guest. Lantz Howard is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and a trained marriage therapist who helps leaders live in their true identity so they can experience more intimacy, more sex, and more connection with their spouse.In this episode, you’ll hear:Why business strategies don’t apply at homeThe importance of uncovering your needsPractical tips for escaping a performance mindset in marriageAnd more!If you or your spouse is a high-achieving type, you won’t want to miss out on this conversation!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/lantz-howard-293Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

A mother’s job is to teach her children to not need her anymore. The hardest part of that job is accepting success.We pour our lives into our kids. We sacrifice, lose sleep, and make sure they have everything they need, only to have them one day leave to live on their own without us. My guest understands this feeling as a parent with one foot in and the other foot out of the launching phase.Cristina Wright is an author, former homeschool mom, wife, and mother of two. Her first book, Launch Them Well, helps moms navigate the emotional rollercoaster of watching their children grow into young adults—while also empowering those kids to thrive in independence.In this episode, you’ll hear:Guidance on how to launch your kids wellWhy your identity should involve more than your role as a parentHow to process the grief that occurs after your child launchesAnd more!This is a topic I am passionate about, and I felt so blessed by the wisdom Cristina had to share!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/cristina-wright-292Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

Talking about death can be a tender and uncomfortable subject, but our time on earth is temporary. Someday we will all leave this world, and many of us won’t get a warning of when that will occur.While fear may want to push us away from this topic, conversations like this one help us begin to normalize talking about death. When we bring something hard like this into the light, it starts to feel less big and scary—and a little more manageable. When we face the reality of death, we empower ourselves to live in the present, knowing what we are leaving behind: a meaningful legacy.Helping people broach the topic of death is something that my friend, Yvette Maher, is passionate about. Yvette is an end-of-life transition coach who supports individuals and families in this sacred, yet challenging space.In this episode, you’ll hear:How preparing for death can help us live better todayPractical tips for getting your affairs in orderThe importance of creating your legacy in advanceAnd more!I so appreciate Yvette’s willingness to approach this difficult topic with gentleness and understanding.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/yvette-maher-291Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

Roosters, candy canes, thermometers, and antifungal cream. These are just a few of the ordinary items we saw God use in extraordinary ways during our time in Uganda this February. This journey of our ministry in Africa, which began with an untied shoelace on an Alabama sidewalk, continues to unfold in ways Mark and I never could have imagined. To hear how it all began, you can listen to Episode 135 and 210. Today, Mark and I are grateful and excited to share this special episode where we recap some of the highlights and God stories from our third and most recent trip to Uganda. Best of all, you get to hear from three of the team members who made the journey with us. In this episode, you’ll hear:Our team’s biggest takeaways from experiencing life in UgandaHow the school we’ve been building blew our expectations awayThe God story of a big need met through a simple Amazon wishlist And more!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://jillsavage.org/god-stories-uganda-290/Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

A dad is foundational in every person’s life, but not everyone has a solid, stable father figure to rely on. When Mark and I work with couples and individuals in our coaching sessions, we are often able to trace a person’s current challenges back to father wounds. So many people are still being negatively affected by the difficult relationship they had with their father growing up—many of them without even realizing it.As we help these people unpack the past, we can’t undo their experiences. But we can point to our Heavenly Father and remind them that there is incredible healing to be found in the unfailing, unconditional love that only God can provide.My guest today sees the effect of father wounds in her everyday ministry work. Rachelle Starr is the founder of Scarlet Hope and Freedom Signa, a ministry that reaches and disciples exploited women. She’s the author of the book Outrageous Obedience, and is passionate about reaching women with hope wherever they are.In this episode, you’ll hear:How God used a home-cooked meal to start an entire ministryWhy it’s so important to understand that true healing takes time and patienceHow the love of the Heavenly Father can heal wounds we receive from our earthly fatherAnd more!I appreciated Rachelle’s story of how God led her to show up in the lives of these precious women, and the healing that has come to so many as a result.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://jillsavage.org/rachelle-starr-289/Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

Forgiveness.It’s one of the most powerful tools God gives us in marriage. Yet, when infidelity shatters trust, the path forward can feel confusing. What does real forgiveness actually look like? And how do you know if you’re doing it in a healthy way?My guest today, Tim Tedder, is a licensed counselor and coach who has spent more than 20 years helping individuals and couples recover after infidelity. Tim’s work is shaped not only by professional training, but also by personal experience. After walking through the devastation of infidelity in his own life, God eventually led him into a calling of helping others find healing and hope.In this conversation, Tim shares the freedom that comes from genuine forgiveness. He also explains three common ways people try to forgive that actually keep them stuck, along with two forms of forgiveness that truly help people move forward.In this episode, you’ll hear:Three common substitutes people mistake for forgivenessThe difference between decisional forgiveness and emotional forgivenessWhy forgiveness does not automatically restore trustHow genuine forgiveness can bring freedom, even if a relationship is not restoredAnd more!I was moved by Tim’s honesty about his story and the healing journey that brought him here. I hope you find this conversation as encouraging and clarifying as I did!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/tim-tedder-288Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

The chaos that betrayal can cause in a marriage is unlike almost anything else we experience as humans. When trust is shattered, everything feels unstable. Questions swirl. Emotions run high. And the path forward can feel confusing and painfully slow.Mark and I know what that broken place feels like. And so does the couple joining us today.Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith—known as The Raabsmith Team—are co-authors of Building True Intimacy. Together, they have developed practical tools to help couples rebuild trust and create lasting connection. Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach and Restoration Coach with more than 15 years of experience in addiction recovery, betrayal trauma, and leadership development. Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in trauma, betrayal trauma, and relationship healing.In this honest and hope-filled conversation, we talk about how God brought each of us to the other side of betrayal. We share some of the insights we wish we had known when we were in the middle of our own messy healing journeys. There were setbacks. There was deep pain. But there were also small moments where hope began to rise again.In this episode, you’ll hear:Why healing begins with the individuals, not just the coupleHow family upbringing shapes the way we show up in marriageWhy a betrayed spouse may still feel unsafe, even after behavior changesAnd more!If you’re trying to find your footing after betrayal, you may want to lean in and take notes. Our prayer is that this conversation brings understanding and a renewed sense of hope!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/matthew-joanna-raabsmith-287Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

In a culture that is obsessed with perfection, it’s easy to believe that hospitality requires a spotless home, a carefully planned menu, and a seamless itinerary. But the truth is, connection has never required perfection.Sometimes, the most meaningful moments in life happen with dishes in the sink and pillows on the floor. Deep down, most of us already know this to be true. And yet, inviting people into our space can still feel overwhelming.That’s why, today, we’re asking the question:What if hospitality isn’t about impressing others, but about making space for them to feel seen and loved?My guest today is Abby Kuykendall, author of Let the Biscuits Burn. Abby has spent years exploring what it means to build God-centered community around the table. Through her own journey of singleness, growth, and opening her home in different seasons, she has discovered that hospitality is less about performance and more about presence.In this episode, you’ll hear:The difference between entertaining and true hospitalityWhy it’s important to gather with people who are different from usThree simple qualities that can help you practice hospitality right where you areAnd more!I loved this conversation with Abby! It was such a freeing reminder that we don’t have to do hospitality perfectly to do it faithfully.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/abby-kuykendall-286Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms

Vulnerability can feel like a high-stakes poker game where your only option is to go “all in” and either win big or lose everything. Many of us carry the painful memories of when opening up has gone wrong in the past, and these can keep us from opening up again.However, when we dare to be vulnerable in spite of our fears, we can find intimacy, connection, and safety on the other side.While it may feel intimidating to open up to your spouse, we can tell you from experience that this decision can be the key to finally experiencing true connection and building a relationship where you can share your true self.In this episode, you’ll hear:The reasons why we resist vulnerabilityCommon roots of rejection or fearSteps you can take to start practicing vulnerabilityThe importance of believing the best about your spouseAnd more!Vulnerability is something we all struggle with, not just a certain attachment style or personality type. We hope these tips can help you take the first step to opening up to your spouse.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/fear-of-vulnerability-285Check out our other resources:Mark and Jill’s Marriage StoryMarriage CoachingMarriage 2.0 IntensivesSpeaking ScheduleBook Mark and Jill to SpeakOnline CoursesBooks Marriage Resources:Infidelity RecoveryFor Happy MarriagesFor Hurting MarriagesFor Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources:New/Preschool MomsMoms with GradeschoolersMoms with Teens and TweensMoms with Kids Who Are LaunchingEmpty Nest Moms