The Beautiful Mess Effect

Anger is an important, healthy and valuable emotion. It's something we all experience. However, if anger is suppressed or not expressed in a healthy way, it can lead to all kinds of regrettable situations. In this podcast episode I explain the difference between toxic anger and healthy anger and how you can bring the wisdom of healthy anger into your life.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

When we are struggling or feeling 'emotionally messy', instinctively, many of us try to hide that vulnerability from others because of a fear we’ll be seen as weak, unworthy, flawed, and we will lose love, connection and approval in our lives. But research shows that when we share our vulnerability and struggles with others it actually makes us stronger, improves our connection and deepens their love and approval of us. In this episode I share the science around what researchers have dibbed 'the beautiful mess effect' and give you some tips to embrace the beautiful mess effect and get the support, connection and resilience you need when navigating messy times.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comWaitlist for the deep resilience experience course release (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called headstrong https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ here ) Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

We all encounter difficult dilemmas in life at one point or another where we don't know what to do yet. What can happen in these times is we can easily tip into spending our days endlessly ruminating and worrying about it, often making ourselves really stressed in the process.In this episode I share a three step method to navigate our dilemas in a more empowering way and maintain greater freedom and peace of mind on the way to finding our answers.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comWaitlist for the Deep Resilience Experience course release (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called Headstrong https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ here) Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

We all have those moments where the voice in the head starts to whisper things like: This isn’t going to work. You're not good enough, you're not talented enough, or you're not smart enough or experienced enough to do that. Who do you think you are? You're too short, too tall, too hairy, too geeky. It will never work!And when we get hooked by self-doubt narratives it can crush our confidence, lower our self-worth, hold us back from the things we really care about and make us feel anxious and depressed.So how can we overcome it? In this episode, I share a three-step method to overcome self-doubt so that you can follow your dreams, achieve your goals, perform at your best and enjoy life more fully.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comWaitlist for the Deep Resilience Experience course release (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called Headstrong https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ here) Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Overthinking comes in many forms but by far the main two types are rumination (which can lead to feelings of unworthiness, depression and self-doubt) and worry (which gives rise to stress, anxiety and overwhelm).Research shows that overthinking is linked to mental illnesses such as clinical depression and anxiety. Simply put, overthinking is not a useful mental habit. It hurts and hinders us.So how can we overcome it? In this episode, I share a simple practice you can use to shift overthinking into a more empowering, helpful and skillful way of thinking.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comWaitlist for the Deep Resilience Experience course release (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called Headstrong https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ here) Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

When I am working with clients to help them become mentally stronger, one concern that often comes up is how they will be able to handle their most dark and disturbing thoughts. They often feel very intimidated, frightened or overwhelmed by them and worry about the effects of these thoughts in their life.However, when I am able to show them how to transform their relationship to these thoughts there is a huge sense of relief and release and renewed confidence.In this episode of Deep Resilience I walk you through three foundational tools to start to approach your dark thoughts in more adaptive, helpful and life-affirming ways so you can find relief from stress and suffering and find greater freedom and peace of mind.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comLearn meditation at mindfulness.com (I have a 10 and 30-day course on there you can take).Waitlist for the Deep Resilience Experience course release: (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called Headstrong) https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package *Notes from the episode: Three steps-Let go of any judgment-Make room for them. Allow them to be there-Change your relationship to thoughts

When we get thrown a curveball in life we can start to feel really stuck in a situation. We may feel disempowered, defeated, broken, overwhelmed or like we cannot cope. This feeling of stuckness can leave us debilitated and unable to move forward. Often in my work with clients, I find that, if we explore closer we usually find that they are not stuck, their thoughts are. in other words, their mind is telling them ’stuck' stories. Telling them they cannot cope, telling them there’s no way through an obstacle, telling them they have or will fail, it’s hopeless, they will never be the same.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I walk you through the tools to let go of unhelpful thoughts that keep you stuck and show you simple ways to meet what is arising with more flexibility, resilience and creativity.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comGet your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package **Questions from the episodeAm I approaching this problem with a helpful intention, a helpful state of mind? If not, what can I change?What would be a few different possibilities to move forward or find a new way through? What would I do here if I wasn't afraid at all? What's something I haven't thought of yet that could make this better? What matters to me in this situation deep in my heart? What is the most important thing? (take actions toward that most important thing)Am I being totally honest with myself about everything that's happening to me in this situation? (am I stuck or scared?)

We've all had times where somebody has said or done something that we felt really hurt by. There is the initial event that happened but then we often continue mulling over it, fanning the flames of resentment and anger within us, and keeping the heartache alive. Sometimes we might keep carrying a resentment for weeks, months or years. What we don’t realise is that resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person suffers. It’s us who carries the hate, the ill will, the bitterness, the grudge. In this episode of Deep Resilience, I walk you through four steps to let go of resentment: Understanding, acceptance, accountability and forgiveness.By releasing resentment towards another you find peace and strength in yourself. Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comGet your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package **The forgiveness phrase you can say to yourself from the episode: “I forgive you, I will hold no hostility in my heart, I wish you well.”

When it comes to resilience, having strong relationships is foundational. Research also shows that strong relationships are a predictor of happiness, good health and longevity. Needless to say, it's worth investing in keeping our relationships, healthy, strong and meaningful.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to try five tips to strengthen your bonds with loved ones and improve the quality of your relationships so that they flourish, thrive and add more fullness, richness and love to your lifeThey are:Quality Time Effective CommunicationLearning Conflict Resolution SkillsExpress AppreciationHonor IndividualityKey Links:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comGet your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

The practice of realizing interdependence is about really knowing, not just in our mind but in our whole being, that we are not separate from the world around us. That we exist in a large web of interconnectedness. It is returning to wisdom and belonging.We live in a culture that devalues wisdom and emphasises materialism, individualism and independence. A culture that has an almost shameful view of dependence on others and the web of life.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to accept the truth of interdependence, challenge the status quo view, come into harmony with the way life is and tap into the deeper wisdom and strength within you.Key Links:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comGet your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package