310. When You Think You Are the Problem

When something isn't working in your coaching business, where does your brain go first? Maybe you think you're not smart enough, you're too much, or there's something about you that needs to change before you can succeed. But when you decide that you are the problem, it becomes almost impossible to see what else might be going on.       In this episode, I'm exploring how self-blame keeps coaches stuck, even when they're taking action and trying to improve. I'll share examples from my own clients, why familiar beliefs about ourselves can be so difficult to question, and how the qualities you've been trying to hide might actually be some of your greatest strengths.              For full show notes and transcript, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/310                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                     Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf

There's one episode out of more than 300 that I've wanted to delete for years. Not because I no longer believe the topic matters, but because when I look back at why I recorded it and how I delivered it, I can hear something very clearly that I couldn't fully see at the time: I was defensive.      In this episode of the Unfinished series, I'm revisiting a previous episode where I shared criticism I had received online and taught a framework for responding to it. I look back at what I regret about that episode, why I ultimately chose to leave it up, and how a recent experience with my daughter showed me just how differently I respond to criticism today.           For full show notes and transcript, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/309                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                     Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf

Learning something new can make it feel like you're starting from zero. Whether you're building a business, developing a new skill, or trying something you've never done before, it's easy to focus on everything you don't know yet and overlook how much you're already bringing with you.       In this episode of the Unfinished series, I'm sharing one of the most important skills I've learned while growing my coaching business: starting with what you already know. I show you how skills and knowledge from different parts of your life can give you a head start, and why remembering what you've already learned can make something new feel much less overwhelming.        For full show notes and transcript, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/308                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                     Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf

There's a thought that comes up all the time when we're struggling with something: I should be able to do this on my own. Maybe you think you should know how to do it by now, shouldn't need so much guidance, or should be able to figure it out without asking for help. But where did we get the idea that doing something alone is the goal?     In this episode, I explore what actually happens when we learn and develop new skills with support from other people. I share some of the science behind social learning and deliberate practice, along with examples of how feedback, outside perspective, and learning alongside others can change the way we develop new skills.          For full show notes and transcript, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/307                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                   Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf

The coaching industry has changed a lot over the past several years, and it will keep changing. But when you're building a business inside an evolving industry, it can be easy to wonder whether those changes mean something bigger. Is coaching really going to stand the test of time?      In this episode of the Unfinished series, I'm answering a listener question that deserved more than a quick response: Do I believe the coaching industry has longevity? I explore what makes coaching valuable in the first place, how AI fits into the conversation, and what may be behind some of the uncertainty coaches are feeling right now.      For full show notes, transcript, and to submit your question, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/306                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                   Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf

So much of coaching can become an attempt to fix what feels wrong. A difficult thought shows up, an old pattern returns, or you react in a way you wish you hadn't, and suddenly the goal becomes getting rid of it. But what if the more useful place to begin is understanding why it's there in the first place?     In this episode of the Unfinished series, I'm joined by my friend and fellow coach Brig Johnson to talk about how her coaching has evolved, why safety and capacity matter more than simply adding more discipline or skill, and what she has learned about helping clients understand their patterns without turning those patterns into proof that something is wrong with them.                      For full show notes, transcript, and to submit your question, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/305                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                   Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf   Learn more about Brig's work here: brigjohnson.com

A successful coaching business isn't only about choosing the right strategy or working harder at the one you're already using. After a recent mastermind conversation, I couldn't stop thinking about two ingredients I see in coaching businesses that are working right now: enjoyment and hunger.       In this bonus episode of the Unfinished series, I break down why you need both and what can happen when one is missing. I share why the things that feel easy and natural to you may actually be valuable data for your business, how enjoyment can create consistency, and how hunger helps you turn what you love into an intentional, repeatable strategy.                          For full show notes and transcript, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/304.5                     Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                   Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf

Your work doesn't have to stay the same just because the version you've built has been successful. As your life, capacity, interests, and priorities change, the way you coach and the business you build can change right along with them.      In this episode of the Unfinished series, I'm joined by my friend, colleague, and mentor, Trudi Lebrón, for a wide-ranging conversation about her work and how she approaches coaching. We explore Trudi's expansive definition of coaching, what makes equity-centered coaching different, and how to hold a vision for your clients without deciding for them what that vision should be.                      For full show notes, transcript, and to submit your question, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/304                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                   Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf   Learn more about Trudi's work here: trudilebron.com

It's easy to look at a polished performance and assume you're seeing the whole story. But behind those few minutes when everything looks effortless, there can be hours of preparation, exhaustion, mistakes, frustration, laughter, and people working together to make it all happen.        In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of a weekend at my daughter's horse show and share why the experience had me thinking so much about coaching and entrepreneurship. From the realities you would never see watching a dressage event on TV to the struggles that happen behind closed doors in business, I explore what changes when you get to see what the experience actually looks like for everyone else.                    For full show notes, transcript, and to submit your question, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/303                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                   Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf

One of the most common moments that makes coaches question themselves is when a client says, "I don't know what I want coaching on today." It can feel awkward, uncomfortable, or even like something has gone wrong. But what if that moment is actually giving you valuable information?     In this episode, I revisit one of the most popular episodes of the podcast with six years of additional coaching experience. I share how my thinking has evolved, why "I don't know" is often telling you something important, and exactly how I approach these moments before a coaching call, during a session, when it becomes a pattern, and even in group coaching.                    For full show notes, transcript, and to submit your question, go to: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/302                    Learn more about The Complete Coach here: lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com/the-complete-coach                   Follow along over on Instagram: instagram.com/lindsaydotzlaf