#505: Stop Going Back to What Hurts You

In this episode I break down why you keep going back to the same person, pattern, or behavior and why it’s not failure, it’s unfinished healing. I unpack how shame keeps you stuck, how unresolved grief is driving your choices, and why you’re not going backwards, you’re being shown what still needs to be healed. This is a call to stop avoiding the deeper work, start choosing yourself, and finally build the self-trust that changes everything. Resources: Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv  —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question?—Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! This episode is sponsored by: Organifi - High Quality Superfood Supplements To Keep Working Toward Your Goals http://www.organifi.com/createthelove Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I sit down with Arthur Brooks to unpack why so many people feel lost, disconnected, and unsure of their purpose despite living in an age of endless opportunity. We explore what meaning actually is, how love, purpose, and belonging are built in real life not on screens, and why the path forward requires getting honest, getting off the dopamine treadmill, embracing boredom, and reconnecting to something greater than yourself. This conversation is an invitation to step out of autopilot, take your attention back, and start creating a life rooted in meaning instead of distraction. Arthur Brooks is a professor at Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, where he teaches leadership and happiness, as well as a CBS News Contributor, columnist for The Free Press, and host of the podcast Office Hours with Arthur Brooks. He is the author of 15 books, including the #1 New York Times bestseller Build the Life You Want (co-authored with Oprah Winfrey) and From Strength to Strength, with his upcoming book The Meaning of Your Life set for release on March 31. Widely regarded as a leading expert on the science of happiness, Brooks regularly speaks and teaches around the world, helping individuals and organizations cultivate greater well-being. —Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/   —Website: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/ —Pre order the book: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/meaning-of-your-life-event-registration  - Subscribe to Mark’s Substack to receive his weekly reflections and insights straight from his heart to your inbox. ⁠https://markgroves.substack.com/⁠  —Contact us at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, or just to say hello!—This episode is sponsored by: Cozy Earth: Use code CHANGE for 20% off sitewide at http://www.cozyearth.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I dive into how the beliefs you hold about the world quietly shape your entire life. I explore the idea that if you don’t consciously choose how you see the world, you’ll end up living inside limits someone else programmed into you. I talk about what it means to believe life is working for you rather than against you, how even painful experiences become curriculum when you choose growth, and why accepting where you are is the foundation for creating something different. This is a call to question the systems, stories, and expectations that have defined who you think you’re supposed to be and to start trusting the voice inside you that knows there’s more available for your life. Resources: Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv  —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question?—Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! This episode is sponsored by: Organifi - High Quality Superfood Supplements To Keep Working Toward Your Goals www.organifi.com/createthelove  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Mark sits down with Andy Mant, founder of Bon Charge, to explore how the modern world is quietly hijacking our biology through light. We talk about how artificial lighting, screens, and constant stimulation are disrupting our circadian rhythms, driving stress, poor sleep, and metabolic dysfunction and why something as simple as getting morning sunlight and managing blue light at night can radically shift your energy and health. This conversation is a deep dive into how our environment shapes our nervous system and how reclaiming your relationship with light might be one of the most powerful and overlooked ways to change your life. Andy Mant is a global leader in the wellness technology industry, known for building BON CHARGE into a multimillion-dollar direct-to-consumer brand focused on red light therapy, PEMF, circadian lighting and other cutting edge wellness technology targeting longevity. With a personal and professional journey deeply rooted in performance optimisation, mitochondrial health, and innovation, Andy brings easy to understand science- backed insights and no-BS truth to every interview. —Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamandymant—Website: https://ca.boncharge.com/ This episode is sponsored by: Cozy Earth: Use code CHANGE for 20% off sitewide at http://www.cozyearth.com Have a question For Mark to answer on the podcast?https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast Have a question for Mark and want an immediate answer? Mark's Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Subscribe to Mark’s Substack to receive his weekly reflections and insights straight from his heart to your inbox. https://markgroves.substack.com/  Contact us at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, or just to say hello! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I dismantle the prison of regret, resentment, and anger and show you how those very emotions can become the fuel for your greatest transformation. I unpack the paradox of regret, why your past can educate you without defining you, and how to channel heartbreak, betrayal, and disappointment into a comeback that is personal, powerful, and aligned. Resources: —Get My Breakup 5 Day Audio Series and Workbook: www.createthelove.com/breakupaudio Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv  —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question?—Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I mark 500 conversations by pulling back the curtain on the most important lessons I’ve learned about integrity, humility, codependency, leadership, and evolving out loud. I share how studying the masters taught me to become one in my own life, how people pleasing quietly leaked into my business and lowered my standards, and why restoring integrity—again and again—is the foundation of peace, power, and exceptional relationships. Resources: —Get My Breakup 5 Day Audio Series and Workbook: www.createthelove.com/breakupaudio Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv  —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question?—Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! This episode is sponsored by: Cozy Earth: Use code CHANGE  for 20% off sitewide at http://www.cozyearth.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I go straight at the truth most of us avoid: if you don’t decide who you are, someone else will decide for you. I unpack how people pleasing, codependency, and the fear of saying no quietly steal your dreams, your health, and your self respect, and how every external betrayal usually starts with an internal one. I challenge you to audit where you’re abandoning yourself, where you’re choosing belonging over authenticity, and where you’re consuming instead of creating.  If you’re ready to stop outsourcing your identity, stop living for approval, and finally build relationships that help you grow instead of shrink, this conversation will light a fire under you. Resources: —Get My Breakup 5 Day Audio Series and Workbook: www.createthelove.com/breakupaudio Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv  —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/itsmarkgroves —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question?—Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! This episode is sponsored by: Institute for Integrative Nutrition: Certified Health Coach Training: Use code MARKGROVES20 for 20% off ALL courses from IIN & Chopra at https://l.shareiin.com/Zs6uK Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I speak directly to anyone stuck in a manipulative or emotionally abusive relationship and wondering why leaving feels so impossible. I unpack how empathy, hope, and old attachment wounds can keep you bonded to chaos, and why compassion without boundaries turns into self-abandonment. This episode offers a clear, empowering truth: the moment you recognize where you’re still consenting to the dynamic, you regain the power to choose differently. If you’ve been doubting yourself, questioning your reality, or waiting for someone else to change, this is your invitation to reclaim your agency and become the safety you’ve been searching for. Resources: —Get My Breakup 5 Day Audio Series and Workbook: www.createthelove.com/breakupaudio Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv  —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/itsmarkgroves —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question? —Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode I share a deeply personal reflection on how a recent therapeutic psychedelic experience helped me untangle inner conflict, release resentment, and reconnect with a clearer sense of purpose. I unpack the realization that I was pouring energy into the wrong battles and how parts work revealed a more life giving path forward focused on presence, integration, and truth rather than reactivity. This episode explores identity, belonging, trauma, and technology and invites you to stop fighting yourself, reclaim your life force, and redirect it toward a life that actually feels grounded, meaningful, and whole. Resources: —More about Mike and his work here: https://mikezeller.com/ - Get My Breakup 5 Day Audio Series and Workbook: www.createthelove.com/breakupaudio Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv  —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question? —Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! This episode is sponsored by: Institute for Integrative Nutrition: Certified Health Coach Training: Use code MARKGROVES20 for 20% off ALL courses from IIN & Chopra at http://bit.ly/MARKIIN Avocado Green Mattress: www.avocadogreenmattress.com Advertising Inquiries: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Mark sits down with acclaimed therapist and author of It Didn’t Start With You, Mark Wolynn, to unpack the shocking science and lived reality of inherited trauma. They dive into research showing how war and partner violence can leave epigenetic “fingerprints” across generations, and why so many high-functioning people still wake up with panic, loneliness, or a sense of not being safe, often without knowing why. Learn the powerful “worst fear” question that helps pinpoint whether you’re dealing with attachment trauma or inherited family trauma. This conversation offers a radically clear map for where the pain actually starts and how to finally resolve it. Mark Wolynn (accent on second syllable) is the director of the Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco. He is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. His book It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle is the winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in psychology, and has been translated into 17 languages. His articles have appeared in Psychology Today, Mind Body Green, MariaShriver.com, Elephant Journal and Psych Central, and his poetry has been published in The New Yorker. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markwolynn Website: https://markwolynn.com/ Workbook: https://amzn.to/468KGZJ —Have a question For Mark to answer on the podcast?https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast —Have a question for Mark and want an immediate answer? Mark's Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com —How are your Nervous System + Attachment Style connected? https://markgroves.com/connectthedots - Subscribe to Mark’s Substack to receive his weekly reflections and insights straight from his heart to your inbox. https://markgroves.substack.com/  —Contact us at [email protected] for sponsor product support, questions, comments, or just to say hello! —This episode is sponsored by: Institute for Integrative Nutrition: Certified Health Coach Training: Use code MARKGROVES20 for 20% off ALL courses from IIN & Chopra at http://bit.ly/MARKIIN Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices