Episode 262: 8 Keys to Communicate Effectively (without blaming)

In this episode, we dive into the concept of communicating from the self. This is when, instead of blaming, shaming and criticizing your spouse, you simply express your feelings, your experience, and what's going on for you.It's a powerful way to express your needs and work through issues in a way that opens up the lines of communication, increases understanding, and helps you feel seen and heard. I give you 8 specific approaches to try, and encourage you to pick on to master in every conversation you have this week.This work is simple to understand, but the real transformative power comes when you apply it regularly in your life.And if you are looking for help improving your communication so you can have an easier, more connected and fulfilling marriage, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation call with me to discuss how my coaching programs can help you get the results you're looking for. Visit my website here to do that: https://drchavonne.com/work-with-me/

In this episode of the podcast we dive deep into the results you’re getting in your relationship—both positive and negative. Are you feeling connected, supported, and fulfilled? Or are arguments, frustration, and disconnection more frequent than you’d like?We often point to surface-level reasons for struggles in relationships—poor communication, unmet expectations, and stress. But those are just the tip of the iceberg. To truly shift the dynamic in your marriage, we need to go deeper and uncover the root causes of these negative results.In this episode, we explore the 5 underlying issues I see most often at play whenever a couple is producing results in their relationship that they don't want.By looking beyond surface issues and addressing the real causes of conflict, you’ll gain insight into how to shift your relationship results, create deeper connection, and break free from unproductive cycles. Tune in for practical advice on how to take responsibility for your role in your marriage and make lasting changes that support mutual growth.Also mentioned in this episode:How to Be Married ProgramPrivate Coaching

In this episode of the podcast, we dive into the power of a marriage reset—why taking a step back from the chaos of everyday life can bring you closer together and reignite the spark in your relationship.Whether you’re feeling emotionally distant, disconnected, or simply stuck in the day-to-day routine, a reset can help you reassess your connection and renew your commitment to each other.You’ll learn:The signs that your marriage might need a resetSmall, actionable ways to create space for reconnectionHow stepping back from your busy life can deepen trust, intimacy, and communicationBy the end of this episode, you’ll have practical tools to reset your relationship and start fresh, building a stronger, more intentional partnership.Tune in for a conversation on how taking the time to pause and reconnect can transform your marriage—starting today.Also mentioned in this episode: How to Be Married - my coaching program where you learn the 6 core skills all couples need - but no one teaches them. It's open for enrollment now! Learn more here: https://drchavonne.com/htbm/

In today’s episode, we explore how to manage intense emotional moments in relationships, especially when triggered by something your partner says or does.I break down the four key steps that happen in these moments and provide practical strategies to help you slow down and navigate the emotional storm.We start by understanding how a trigger is created and what it does inside your body and how to truly tune in to uncover your needs in the moment.I share specific thoughts and actions you can use to calm yourself, reframe your reactions, and approach the situation with more clarity and compassion.Plus, I’ll walk you through some reflective questions to process the deeper layers of what happened and how to heal from it.Tune in for a deeper understanding of emotional triggers and how to handle them in a way that supports your relationship and your own well-being.Also mentioned in this episode; Marriage Fundamentals Masterclass - happening February 17th. Learn more and sign up for free here: https://drchavonne.com/fundamentalsHow to be Married Program - opening for enrollment on February 17th - learn more here: https://drchavonne.com/htbm/

What makes a marriage truly thrive? Whether you're engaged, newly married, or years into your relationship, there are five key areas that every couple must get right to build a strong foundation. In this episode, we’re breaking down the essentials that lead to long-term love and connection.I cover:How to communicate effectively (even when you disagree)The money conversations that prevent stress and resentmentNavigating family dynamics, boundaries, and personal spaceConflict resolution strategies that actually workAligning your long-term vision so you grow together, not apartIf you want a marriage that’s built to last, don’t miss my upcoming Marriage Fundamentals Masterclass on February 17th! This live session will give you the tools and insights to strengthen your relationship at any stage.Register now: https://drchavonne.com/fundamentals/Also mentioned in this episode:Communication Styles MasterclassAttachment Styles Masterclass

In this episode, we’re diving into a transformative topic: Becoming the Partner You Want to Be Married To. Whether you’re engaged, newly married, or have been together for years, this conversation will challenge and inspire you to reflect on your role in creating the kind of marriage you desire.What You’ll Learn:The common trap couples fall into: focusing on your partner’s flaws while downplaying your own need for growth.How self-awareness and accountability can create deeper connection, trust, and teamwork in your relationship.Practical steps to embody the qualities of a great partner, such as patience, kindness, empathy, and reliability.Small, intentional actions that lead to big shifts in your marriage.Also mentioned in this episode: How to Be Married Program - opens for enrollment on February 17th. This program teaches you the 6 most essential skills all couples need to not only become a great partner, but to build a lasting, fulfilling, and joyful marriage that thrives through every season of life. Learn more here: https://drchavonne.com/htbm/

Welcome to the NEW podcast! We’re shaking things up to better reflect the work I do with couples and individuals—helping you love your marriage again, navigate major decisions, or build a strong foundation for your future.Marriage isn’t just about the partnership; it’s deeply tied to how you show up as an individual. Your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors shape the connection, communication, and fulfillment you experience in your relationship.In this episode, we explore what it truly means to show up for your marriage by diving into five foundational areas of self-awareness and growth.These five areas come together to shape your role in the relationship and define the experience you create—not just for your partner, but for yourself.As we explore these concepts, ask yourself: What does my best self look like in this marriage? What do I want to contribute to this partnership, and how can I show up in a way that reflects that?This is the work that creates real transformation—from the inside out. Let’s dive in and uncover what showing up as your best can mean for your marriage and your life.Also mentioned in this episode, my new program, How to Be Married. Read all about it here: https://drchavonne.com/htbm/

Does it ever feel like you and your spouse just go around in circles over and over again? It's so common for couples to stay in the same kinds of negative cycles.In this episode, we dive into why we repeat unhealthy patterns in relationships and how to break free.I share with you where your patterns come from, why we choose familiar over the "right and healthy" thing, and how our brains are driven to try to solve issues the same way over and over again.I explain the greatest key in actually changing things for the better and offer you the three most important areas to explore when it comes to your current patterns. Also mentioned in this episode: The Happy Marriage Checklist! The key to changing your patterns is being deeply aware of what they are. This checklist provides you with a complete self assessment process for you to uncover what you and your partner are doing that either brings you closer or drives you farther apart. Get your free checklist instantly by going here: https://drchavonne.com/checklist/

What does it mean to grow together as a couple? It’s not always as simple as it sounds. This episode is all about navigating those differences and creating a process that works for both of you.Here’s the thing: growth will look different for everyone. I break down what growing together as a couple looks like, particularly for couples that experience the anxious - avoidant attachment style dynamic.In this episode, we dig into:The real work anxious and avoidant partners need to focus on to grow individually and together.Why setting clear goals and intentions for your growth is non-negotiable—and how to align those goals as a couple.How to recognize when you’re making progress (and when you’re stuck), so you can celebrate wins and seek support when needed.The delicate balance of respecting each other’s pace, without rushing or dragging your feet.Why setbacks are inevitable—and how to handle them with trust, compassion, and resilience.Growing together doesn’t mean you won’t stumble along the way, but it does mean committing to showing up—for yourself and for each other.I've created a brand new resource to help you and your spouse have an initial conversation about where you are and where you want to be as a couple.Download my free "Happy Marriage Checklist: 10 Essential Habits for Lasting Love" HERE

Even though it's so easy to avoid them, hard conversations have the potential to move your life forward in the direction you want to go.Hard conversations can happen with yourself, with your spouse, with your children, and anyone else you have an important relationship with.In this Episode of the podcast, I'm breaking down all aspects of having hard conversations. From your intentions and goals, to the barriers that get in the way, to how to have effective (yet hard) conversations.It is my hope that you see having hard conversations as a tool to live a more authentic and fulfilling life, and to experience more out of your marriage and intimate partnerships.As we end 2024 and begin 2025, these kinds of powerful conversations can literally change your life.Also mentioned in this episode:Work with me in one of my coaching programs. To learn more about working together in my couples or individual coaching programs, visit my website: DrChavonne.com