Deep Dive: The Compatibility Puzzle

In this special episode, Eli interviews Paul about his upcoming book, Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection. Part 1 of this series is devoted to complexities of romantic compatibility. They discuss how they began studying attraction in the first place, why online dating failed to live up to its potential, and why a relationship is what you make it. Plus: Why is it wise to have a few intimacy-inspiring questions in your back pocket? Pre-order your copy today, submit your receipt here, and receive a "book plate" that turns your book into a signed copy! Book plate gift with preorder: US Residents, 18+. Ends February 10, 2025. See terms at prh.com/lovefactually Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

Does giving to others makes us happy? Why is expressing vulnerability so powerful? How can we feel grateful for what we already have? In collaboration with the Pods Fight Poverty campaign, Paul and Eli fire up Frank Capra's immortal and inspiring It's a Wonderful Life (1946), the generosity-filled holiday classic. With Giving Tuesday right around the corner, we hope you'll consider donating to #PodsFightPoverty, in which your favorite social science podcasts ("The Happiness Lab," "You Are Not So Smart," "Hidden Brain," and many others) join forces to lift three entire villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Most of these ~700 families live on less than $2 a day and struggle to afford the basics: food, education, medical care, and the like. It's astonishing how much difference a donation of $100, or even $25, can make for one of these families. If you appreciate our show, please express that gratitude by supporting Pods Fight Poverty (donate here). For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

How do friend networks facilitate relationship formation? What happens to those networks when people fall in love? Are wedding guests just looking to hook up? Paul and Eli find answers lurking at both wedding altar and graveyard in the very British rom-com, Four Weddings and Funeral. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

Do opposites attract? When is intimacy scary? Can offering forgiveness inadvertently escalate conflict? In this special crossover episode of the Dear Nina: Conversations about Friends podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Nina Badzin and Rebekah Jacobs about Beaches, the Bette Midler musical showcase about lifelong friendships. 

What happens when our self-esteem is tied to our looks? How can significant others make us feel confident? What is the nature of found families? Paul and Eli travel to the gorgeously trippy world of Howl's Moving Castle (2004), Hayao Miyazaki's anti-war fable about the power of love and hair dye. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

Are some people just late bloomers? Is asking questions a good dating strategy? What does it mean to be a good lover, anyway? Paul and Eli unpack The 40 Year-Old Virgin—the 2005 transgressive comedy from Judd Apatow—and reflect on how times (and they themselves) have changed in the intervening 20 years. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

In this special crossover episode of the APA Speaking of Psychology podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Kim Mills about the helpful and harmful lessons we absorb from romantic films.

How does it feel to lose a loved-one? Do we benefit from having a partner who speaks our love language? What's so sexy about creativity? Paul and Eli take a nostalgia trip back to Ghost (1990), the romance/murder mystery/revenge epic/moral fable/all-around sensation starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

How is romantic attachment similar to parent-child attachment? Can the fear of intimacy make someone controlling? What's the connection between relationships and food? Paul and Eli revisit Paul Thomas Anderson's majestic Phantom Thread (2017), the Best Picture nominee that served up one of cinema's most deliciously warped loved stories. For show notes, click here. Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by Katie Keil

Year one of Love Factually is in the books! Paul and Eli first review their favorite moments from the first year of the show, and then (at 42:20) they count down the Top Five most accurate movies they've covered to date.