When A Wife Discovers Her Husband's Porn (with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket)

Why do we hide and lie? How can we stop? This episode will help you feel safe enough to tell the truth—or at least a little safer. I'll lead you in an experiential exercise, similar to what I facilitate in Husband Material Academy and private coaching sessions. Warning: this will be very deep...Resources mentioned in this episode:How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure (podcast)The 6 Fs: A Process To Jumpstart Healing (free PDF)Certified Husband Material Coaches (directory)Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

When emotional energy and sexual energy fuse together, sexualized attachment is the result. In this episode, Dr. Floyd Godfrey describes the dynamics of sexualized attachment and his personal story of healing and recovery.Dr. Floyd Godfrey is a Clinical Sexologist, Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Specialist Supervisor, and Certified Mental Health Coach. He is often known for research and intervention with those who struggle with sexualized attachments and eroticized emotions. Connect with Floyd at FloydGodfrey.comBuy Floyd's recently published book (this is a paid link):Healing & Recovery – Perspective for Young Men with Sexualized AttachmentsFor more research on sexualized attachment, visit sexualizedattachments.comTo learn more about the licensing hoax mentioned in the intro of this episode, listen to the  AACC Ethics Podcast where Floyd tells this part of his story.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

What exactly is attachment? How does it relate to addiction? Michael John Cusick explains why we need to feel seen, soothed, safe, and secure, and what it looks like to experience attachment with God. At the end, Michael guides us in a beautiful meditation on my favorite chapter of the Bible, Psalm 131.Michael John Cusick is a Licensed Professional Counselor, spiritual director, speaker, and author. Having experienced the restoring touch of God in a deeply broken life and marriage, Michael’s passion is to connect life’s broken realities with the reality of the gospel. In addition to leading Restoring the Soul and equipping Christian organizations around the world, Michael formerly served as an adjunct professor at Denver Seminary and full-time professor at Colorado Christian University. Michael is also the host of the popular Restoring the Soul podcast, totaling over 1.8 million downloads in just 6 years of podcasting. If you haven’t already, take a listen to his most popular podcasts here.Pre-order Michael's new book, Sacred Attachment: Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion And Trusting In Divine LoveAnd don't forget about Michael's first book, Surfing For God: Discovering The Divine Desire Beneath Sexual StruggleThese are paid links.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Exciting news: this podcast is now part of Husband Material Ministries, a Colorado nonprofit corporation! From now on, we are relying on people like you to make resources like this podcast possible (and free) so that more Christian men can outgrow porn. Listen now to learn more...If you believe in and support our mission, please join our team of monthly supporters at husbandmaterial.com/give.All donations to Husband Material Ministries are fully tax-deductible. Your generosity empowers us to continue creating programs like our podcast, community, academy, conferences, retreats, and more. Thank you for being part of this ministry.Give back at husbandmaterial.com/give!Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

In this episode, you'll learn two powerful antidotes for porn addiction: play and awe. Ready for a deep dive into neuroscience? According to Polyvagal Theory, play and awe are both "blended states" that regulate your autonomic nervous system through connection instead of disconnection. Play is not peripheral. Awe is not optional. These experiences are essential for the health of your brain!Watch the video at www.husbandmaterial.com/play-awe-pornRelated podcast episodes:Porn And Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer)Why Men Need To Play (with Dr. Michael Crocker)Master Your Nervous System (LIVE)Recommended reading (these are paid links):Anchored by Deb DanaPolyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb DanaThe Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam JolmanTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Don't let unwanted same-sex attraction hold you back from a life of purpose and possibility. In this episode, Jason Mellard tells his story of feeling separate from masculinity and how that affected him sexually. Hear how Jason found lasting freedom from porn through finding his voice, grieving his wounds, and stepping into his purpose. Jason Mellard is the founder of Own Your Identity, where he empowers men experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction to live the life they truly desire. Jason is a Certified High Performance Coach and Certified Husband Material Coach. He has experienced sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, and freedom from porn. Jason is committed to helping men live beyond their unwanted attractions and negative habits into a life of purpose and possibility through the power of Christ and for the glory of God.Listen to Jason's podcast, Own Your Identity, where he provides practical tools to bring clarity and hope to men navigating unwanted same-sex attraction.Jason is also the creator of SSAquiz.com. Take the quiz to discover how much same-sex attraction is impacting your life.Learn more about Jason at ownyouridentitynow.com.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

Have you ever felt afraid to be vulnerable? Me too! In this episode, Trent Dollyhigh tells his story of childhood trauma, porn, pastoral ministry, prison, rehab, and a new life of redemptive risks. Here is a man who lost the world and gained his soul. May Trent inspire you to be vulnerable!"There is no relationship without risk." —Trent Dollyhigh Trent Dollyhigh is the founder of Be Vulnerable Mentoring, a recovery mentoring ministry. Trent is a Certified Professional Life Coach who holds a Bachelor's of Science in Education and a Master's of Divinity in leadership and counseling. He has experienced healing from trauma, divorce, and pornography. Trent's past immaturity, lack of courage, unhealthy sexuality, and fear as a lead pastor cost him almost everything. He has done the hard work of recovery from his own failures, and he has spent years living in freedom. Trent's passion is to guide others from their brokenness to redemption. He has experience with clinical residential treatment and years of recovery work specializing in sexual addiction and trauma. He works with men, women, and couples and is available for 1-on-1 mentoring, intensives, speaking engagements, group mentoring, and wilderness trips.  If you're looking for a trauma-informed mentor with personal experience with sexual addiction and recovery, contact Trent to begin the journey to hope and healing. Learn more at TrentDollyhigh.com.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

What can Inside Out 2 teach us about outgrowing porn? I’ll share my top three takeaways. Spoiler alert: important plot details will be revealed. Related episodes about Internal Family Systems (IFS):Experience Healing Through IFS, with Dr. Peter MalinoskiUnburdening Sexual Arousal, with Dr. Peter MalinoskiInternal Family Systems and Jesus, with Kim MillerMove Toward, Not Against, with Jenna RiemersmaThe Image Of God In You, with Jenna RiemersmaTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

What are the 3 phases of healing from sexual betrayal? In part 2 of our series with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket, you'll get a helpful overview of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). You'll also learn the difference between forgiveness vs. reconciliation vs. trust and how to avoid "good boy syndrome" while working on rebuilding trust.Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She has specialized in providing help for the partners of sexual addicts since 1999. Dr. Steffens is a recognized expert in the field, and is now accepting speaking engagements for churches and professional organizations. Learn more and connect with Barb at drbarbarasteffens.comBuy Barb's book (this is a paid link):Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and HealLyschel Burket is the Lead Hope Caster and Founder of Hope Redefined. She is also a current APSATS Board Member and the committee lead for BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Lyschel has been working with women since 2008 by helping them navigate the road of betrayal by sexual infidelity. She knows all too well the isolation, shame, fear, and trauma that betrayal causes. More than anything, Lyschel wants women to know that they don’t have to walk this road alone, so she provides a safe community where each one can find healing and hope.Learn more about Lyschel and Hope Redefined at hoperedefined.orgMore resources for women from Hope Redefined:private online communityonline support groupsintensive retreats1:1 coachingListen to the Hope For Wives podcast at hopeforwives.com!Get trained by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket through BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Learn more here.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!

What happens to the brain and body of a wife who discovers her husband's relationship with porn? This is part 1 of our 2 part series on the trauma of sexual betrayal taught by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket. You'll learn why wives react the way they do, how to tell the difference between wives expressing anger vs. engaging in abusive behavior, how to set appropriate boundaries while practicing empathy, and what wives really want from their husbands in the healing process (VOWS). This teaching is absolutely brilliant. Take notes!Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She has specialized in providing help for the partners of sexual addicts since 1999. Dr. Steffens is a recognized expert in the field, and is now accepting speaking engagements for churches and professional organizations. Learn more and connect with Barb at drbarbarasteffens.comBuy Barb's book (this is a paid link):Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and HealLyschel Burket is the Lead Hope Caster and Founder of Hope Redefined. She is also a current APSATS Board Member and the committee lead for BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Lyschel has been working with women since 2008 by helping them navigate the road of betrayal by sexual infidelity. She knows all too well the isolation, shame, fear, and trauma that betrayal causes. More than anything, Lyschel wants women to know that they don’t have to walk this road alone, so she provides a safe community where each one can find healing and hope.Learn more about Lyschel and Hope Redefined at hoperedefined.orgMore resources for women from Hope Redefined:private online communityonline support groupsintensive retreats1:1 coachingListen to the Hope For Wives podcast at hopeforwives.com!Get trained by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket through BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Learn more here.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!