51: Having More Sex: Acceptance Vs Control

Sex can be a powerful way to connect, but for many men, it's often the only way they're taught to access vulnerability and emotional closeness. This can create a rub, especially when partners need emotional intimacy to feel open to physical intimacy.In this blog, we break down the dynamics of intimacy using the metaphor of a wedding cake.Couples thrive when they intentionally build each layer tier of the cake. Listen to discover how to strengthen your relationship, deepen intimacy, and foster connection beyond sex.This episode is in blog form: From Emotional to Sexual Intimacy: A Guide for Males (and Couples).For the blog on how to start with awareness of feelings, go here: Get in Touch With Your Feelings.

Do you two feel like roommates? Or cost-sharing-associates?Have you and your partner drifted into feeling more like roommates than lovers?Just co-parents?Or “cost-sharing-associates?”It’s easy for the initial spark to dim as time passes, but rekindling it is possible.This quick episode talks about how to reconnect and feel love again.I also share why you two have drifted apart, how to break the cycle of disconnection, and how couples therapists help couples do just that.One of our favorite quotes from Terry Real is:“Intimacy is not something you have, but something you do.”I share how you two can intentionally foster intimacy and how you can be that passionate couple again!This blog inspired this episode. 

This episode discusses functional, psychological boundaries and what is not.  What are not functional boundaries? They are if we are behind walls or boundaryless.  We will define that and what physiological boundary violations are.This will also encourage you to reflect on your boundaries as well. Here's the link to the chart I mentioned.You can learn more about our couples therapy practice.

Mess is one of the content issues that come up in couples therapy. If this is an issue for you, you can check out what you can do on your side of the relationship and what you two can do as a team. Link to the Fair Play Card Deck.Click here to read the blog this episode was inspired by: Couples Counseling and Your Messy Partner. 

Is your marriage or relationship on the brink?Here are four things you can do to save your marriage. Essentially, there needs to be something different and not more of the same. These four things are usually the most common complaints partners have. Check it out!Click to learn more about our couples therapy agency in Denver, Colorado. 

This episode might be of interest to those of you who may be on the brink of divorce or breakup, for those who don't have a lot of time, and for those who harbor a lot of resentment. In this episode, I share how I define couples' intensives and why they are popular in my practice. Click here for more information about couples intensives.Click here to set up a free couples intensive consult. 

It means being intentional about connection and collaboration.  Sammi and Nate share their framework for staying connected and the eight domains they work on together.  They share what they’ve learned from over 190 episodes of their Date Forever podcast and over 15 years of being together.  Also, they are a lovely couple!Listen to the Date Forever podcast. Work with Sammi to create a fueled-up life: https://www.sammijaeger.com/ Have their goal-setting guide: https://www.sammijaeger.com/agp

Matt Salis shares his knowledge of sexual health and how it interacts with addiction.  We also talk about sexual desire discrepancies and what you can do about them. And what’s something that can get you more sex?The Untoxicated Podcast.Echos of Recovery & Shout Sobriety

What are the problems with needing to be right? And what are the issues with holding on to "objective truth." This episode will help you know what to do to fix that. To help you embrace more subjective truth in your relationship. Because relationships are two subjective truths navigating life together. Visit my couples therapy practice website. 

What’s an effective way to go about having more sex when there are desire discrepancies? I’ll also share what I mean by my acceptance vs control. I’ll address these questions in the context of a recent couples session I had. To learn more about my couples therapy practice, click here: https://coloradorelationshiprecovery.com