Episode 521: Dr. Shadé Zahrai, PhD: The Science of Acting Through Self-Doubt

Relentless drive isn’t the problem for most high performers. The real breakdown happens when self-belief collapses after early success and hustle turns into motion without direction. This episode is part of The Best of Habits & Hustle, a series where we revisit some of the most impactful conversations we’ve shared. In this one, I’m joined by Rob Dyrdek to challenge the idea that working harder fixes everything and explore why success stalls when it isn’t intentionally designed.  We also talk about rebuilding belief after hitting bottom, mastering time as a strategic advantage, and designing systems that create real wealth without burning your life down. Rob Dyrdek is a serial entrepreneur, producer, and former professional skateboarder. He is the creator of Ridiculousness and the founder of Dyrdek Machine, a venture studio that has built 18 brands with six exits totaling over $550M. Rob is also the CEO of Existence and the mind behind Time Creationism, a framework focused on engineering time at scale. What We Discuss: (00:02) Losing self-belief after early success and why hustle stops working (11:38) How subconscious belief shapes trajectory more than effort (13:27) Hitting rock bottom and the decision to reprogram belief (19:18) Why self-belief isn’t motivation, it’s data and mastery (46:41) Designing time as a strategic asset instead of reacting to life (52:03) Why balance must come before scale, not after (56:47) Building systems that create wealth without burning your life down Thank you to our sponsors: Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off  Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off  Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order  Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen: Website: https://jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen  Books: https://jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Rob Dyrdek: Instagram: @robdyrdek Facebook: @robdyrdek Youtube: @robdyrdek

Self-doubt is often mislabeled as a confidence problem, which causes people to hesitate instead of act. The real cost is momentum, because confidence is built through action, not something you wait to feel before moving. We dive deeper into this in the Habits & Hustle with Dr. Shadé Zahrai. We also chat about why high performers still experience self-doubt, the ping pong ball vs golf ball analogy for detaching from doubt, and why self-image drives behavior more than motivation. Dr. Shadé Zahrai is a behavioral researcher and peak performance educator with a PhD in organizational behavior. She has designed and delivered programs for Fortune 500 companies including Google, Microsoft, LVMH, JP Morgan, and McKinsey. Her work has reached millions through LinkedIn Learning, TEDx talks, and global leadership programs. What We Discuss: (03:10) Why the opposite of self-doubt isn’t confidence but self-trust (08:42) Why high performers still experience self-doubt and act anyway (14:25) The ping pong ball vs golf ball analogy and how doubt becomes identity (21:30) Why affirmations backfire when the brain doesn’t believe them (28:55) How self-image shapes behavior more than motivation or discipline (36:40) The scar experiment and why we experience reality through expectation (44:15) Why saying yes too quickly damages self-trust and decision quality (01:21:26) How your partner’s dependability and discipline shape long-term career success Thank you to our sponsors: Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off  Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off  Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order  Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen:  Website: https://jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen   Books: https://jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Dr. Shadé Zahrai, PhD: Website: https://shadezahrai.com Instagram: @shadezahrai Youtube: @shadezahrai Tiktok: @shadezahrai

Most high performers don’t struggle because they lack discipline. They struggle because they’re trying to do everything at once and calling it balance. We dive deeper into this in the Habits & Hustle with Touré Roberts. We also chat about why balance is becoming whole instead of splitting yourself into percentages, the difference between losing and being a loser, and why you can’t scale without stretching. Touré Roberts is a bestselling author, entrepreneur, investor, and producer. He is the founder of ONE, a multidimensional community based in Los Angeles, and has built one of the most engaged digital platforms in his space with over 100 million views and more than one million subscribers. This episode is part of The Best of Habits & Hustle, a series where we revisit some of the most impactful conversations we’ve shared. What We Discuss: (00:00) Why balance isn’t about splitting yourself into percentages (00:56) You can do all things well, just not at the same time (23:46) Why growth exploded after leaving comfort and relocating (37:23) The difference between losing and being a loser (39:13) Resilience starts with acknowledging pain (40:25) Doing an autopsy on failure instead of wasting it (48:15) You can’t give your best self to everything at once Thank you to our sponsors: Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use the code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen: Website: https://jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen  Books: https://jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Touré Roberts: Website: https://toureroberts.com Instagram: @toureroberts Facebook: @toureroberts Tiktok: @toureroberts

Success is often attributed to confidence or charisma, yet many capable people still misread situations, misjudge authority, and lose leverage under pressure. The real disadvantage is not lack of effort, but relying on false assumptions about how people and systems behave. We dive deeper into this in the latest Habits & Hustle Podcast episode with Andrew Bustamante. We also chat about predicting human behavior, controlling emotional responses in high-stakes moments, and using leverage ethically in business and leadership. Andrew Bustamante is a former clandestine CIA intelligence officer and co-founder of EverydaySpy, a global training platform applying spy skills to business and life. He is a decorated U.S. Air Force combat veteran, a graduate of the United States Air Force Academy, and a former member of CIA’s National Clandestine Service.  What We Discuss: (11:08) Why perception is not reality and how authority conditioning begins early   (12:05) Why following social rules often leads to weaker outcomes   (24:36) How professional liars control body language and emotion   (25:16) Why speaking less creates more credibility   (27:14) Operational utility versus opportunism in decision making   (38:49) Why institutions are looser than they appear   (39:18) How authority bias quietly shapes adult behavior   (47:17) Why human behavior becomes predictable under pressure (02:02:47) Thoughts on the Jeffrey Epstein case Thank you to our sponsors: Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off  Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off  Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order  Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen:  Website: www.jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen   Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Andrew Bustamante: Instagram: @everydayspy Youtube: @Andrew-Bustamante X: @EverydaySpy Facebook: @EverydaySpy Find your Spy Superpower: https://yt.everydayspy.com/4ozGI3F Read Andrew’s CIA book ‘Shadow Cell’: https://geni.us/ShadowCellBook  Explore Spy School: https://everydayspy.com/  Support Andy's sponsor Axolt Brain: https://axoltbrain.com/andy Listen to the podcast: https://youtube.com/@EverydaySpyPodcast

What if the reason you’re not moving forward isn’t what you’re missing, but what you keep holding on to? Change doesn’t happen because you add more to your life. It happens when you finally remove the habits that drain your time, your energy and your momentum.  In this solo episode, I break down the seven patterns that stop high performers from moving forward, even when they think they’re doing everything right. These questions come up constantly, and the truth behind them is the same. Waiting is a trap, negative energy slows you down, comfort blocks growth, complaining keeps you stuck in place. If you feel like you’re pushing hard but not getting anywhere, this episode will show you exactly what to cut. These are simple shifts, but they change everything. Tune in and take notes. What we discuss: (00:49) Why waiting to feel ready keeps you stuck (01:41) How negative people drain your creativity and momentum (02:26) Comfort that feels good now but blocks real growth (03:32) Complaining vs ownership and what actually moves you forward (04:07) Failure as feedback and the mindset shift that stops the quitting cycle (04:40) When saying yes becomes self-sabotage and how to break the pattern (05:41) Consuming before creating and why it kills your voice and momentum Thank you to our sponsor: Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off  Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off  Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order  Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Amp fits is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen: Website: www.jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen   Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagements

Cutting off family and chronic therapy have become normalized, yet people feel more disconnected than ever. What’s labeled as healing often rewards avoidance and quietly erodes emotional resilience. We dive deeper into this in the latest Habits & Hustle with Tania Khazaal. We also chat about why therapy can keep people stuck instead of healing, how “protecting your peace” often protects pain, and why most people quit in the valley of despair right before real growth begins. Tania Khazaal is an emotional healing expert with a background in herbal practice and extensive study in psychology, neuroscience, human behavior, and communication. Her work centers on emotional resilience, relational repair, and the mind body connection. What We Discuss: (05:24) Why family estrangement is rising (06:27) How therapy culture can keep people stuck (08:24) When “protecting your peace” becomes avoidance (14:06) Triggers vs personal responsibility (23:03) Emotional suppression and physical health (36:54) Gentle parenting, discipline, and resilience (39:17) How emotional growth affects health, relationships, and performance (44:37) The valley of despair and why people quit( 49:12) Discipline and future pacing over motivation Thank you to our sponsors: Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off  Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off  Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order  Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen:  Website: www.jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen   Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Tania Khazaal: Website: www.taniakhazaal.com Instagram: @taniakhazaal Facebook: @taniatheherbalistofficial Youtube: @taniakhazaal

This episode is part of The Best of Habits & Hustle, a series where we revisit some of the most impactful conversations we’ve shared. In this one, I sit down with Vanessa Van Edwards to unpack what charisma really is and why so many smart, capable people are quietly misread. We get into how trust and credibility are formed in seconds, why competence without warmth backfires, and how subtle cues shape whether people believe you, listen to you, or overlook you entirely. She breaks down what happens when people try to be neutral or unreadable, why under-signaling on online meetings makes you seem less trustworthy, and how small shifts in communication can completely change how your ideas land. If you’ve ever felt like your skills were there but your influence wasn’t, this conversation will click. Vanessa Van Edwards is a bestselling author, international speaker, and creator of People School. She is an instructor at Harvard University and has taught communication science to millions of students worldwide. Her work has been featured on CNN, BBC, and the Today Show, and her books have been translated into 17 languages. Most people assume charisma is about being funny or outgoing, but that mindset is exactly why smart, capable people keep getting overlooked. In reality, people decide whether they trust and believe you in seconds, and the signals you are sending might be working against you. We dive deeper into this in the episode with Vanessa Van Edwards. We chat about why competence without warmth backfires, how under-signaling on online meetings makes you seem less trustworthy, and the subtle cues that quietly determine whether people take you seriously. This episode is part of The Best of Habits & Hustle, a series where we revisit some of the most impactful conversations we’ve shared.  What We Discuss: (00:41) The two questions people subconsciously ask the moment they meet you (07:33) Why competence without warmth makes people distrust you (10:08) What happens when you are seen as “too nice” and not taken seriously (15:46) Why smart people fail to sell good ideas without emotional buy-in (16:42) How under-signaling and “being unreadable” backfires on video calls (18:55) The role of oxytocin and dopamine in building connection and motivation (21:52) The first 10 words that dramatically increase engagement on Zoom (30:15) What your handshake reveals about confidence and dominance (48:00) The impact of genuine vs. fake smiles on trust and perception (54:07) How communication cues change in digital spaces like email and texting Thank you to our sponsors: Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use the code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen: Website: www.jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Vanessa Van Edwards: Website: www.vanessa.blog Instagram: @vvanedwards Youtube: @vvanedwards Tiktok: @vvanedwards Facebook: @vvanedwards X: @vvanedwards

Do you ever feel like you are doing everything “right,” and your kid still seems anxious, dysregulated, or shut down? This conversation made me rethink what we have been told about parenting, work, and what kids actually need to feel safe. In this episode of Habits & Hustle, I sit down with psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert Erica Komisar to break down what kids actually need to build emotional resilience, why “quality time” alone isn’t enough, and how parental presence shapes brain development, stress tolerance, and long-term mental health. We talk about how stress shows up as fighting, avoidance, and attention issues, why transitions like mornings and after school are when kids need you most, and how overscheduling can become a quiet form of avoidance. She also explains why social media is a pressure amplifier, not the root cause, and what it takes to build real resilience before life gets hard. Erica Komisar, LCSW, is a psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert with nearly four decades of clinical experience. She is the author of Being There and Chicken Little, the Sky Isn’t Falling. What We Discuss: (00:00) Why Kids Are Struggling More Than Ever (08:42) The Myth Of “Quality Time” (18:15) What Early Brain Development Actually Needs (29:40) Why Overscheduling And Helicopter Parenting Backfire (41:10) The Real Roots Of Anxiety And ADHD (53:05) Why Social Media Isn’t The Original Problem (01:05:30) What Adolescents Need From Parents (01:18:50) The Hard Truth About Work, Parenting, And Priorities Thank you to our sponsors: Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout.Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen: Website: www.jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Erica Komisar: Website: www.ericaKomisar.com Instagram: @ericaKomisarBooks: The Parents' Guide to Divorce

This episode is part of The Best of Habits & Hustle, a series where I revisit some of the most impactful conversations we’ve shared. In this one, I sit down with Dr. Mary Claire Haver to break down what’s happening during perimenopause and menopause and why so many women are left confused and guessing. We get into why estrogen matters far beyond hot flashes, how muscle loss and belly fat accelerate in midlife, and why strength training becomes non-negotiable as women age.  She cuts through the fear and misinformation around hormone therapy, who it’s really for, and why women deserve better conversations with their doctors.She also shares a no-BS take on testosterone for women, GLP-1 medications, and why there are no shortcuts if you want to protect muscle, metabolism, and long-term health.  Dr. Mary Claire Haver is a board-certified OB-GYN, Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The New Menopause, and founder of The ‘Pause Life. She’s become one of the most trusted voices helping women understand what midlife is actually asking of their bodies. What We Discuss: (08:43) The difference between perimenopause and menopause (21:12) Why estrogen matters far beyond hot flashes (23:07) Muscle loss, belly fat, and metabolic changes in midlife (46:06) Why strength training is non-negotiable as women age (27:10) Hormone therapy myths and who it’s actually for (25:50) Testosterone for women and when it makes sense (38:27) Pellets, patches, and safer hormone options (52:04) GLP-1 medications and the risk of muscle loss Thank you to our sponsors: Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen  Find more from Jen: Website: www.jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Dr Mary Claire Haver: Website: www.thepauselife.com Instagram: @drmaryclaire Tiktok: @drmaryclaire Youtube: @drmaryclaire Facebook: @drmaryclaire Pinterest: @thepauselife

What actually makes a brand break through and stay relevant long after the hype fades? I wanted to explore that question with someone who sees behind the scenes of real growth, not just what looks good online. In this episode, I sit down with Emily Hickey to talk about what performance marketing really means, why specificity matters more than volume, and how the smartest brands focus on what is already working instead of chasing every new idea. We get into product positioning, influencer strategy, why hero products matter, and how marketing decisions connect directly to identity and behavior. We also talk about fitness, discipline, GLP-1 medications, and why building a business often forces you to build yourself at the same time. Emily Hickey is the co-founder and CEO of Chief Detective, a performance marketing agency working with leading consumer brands across Meta, Google, and social platforms. She also advises companies like Goop and Weight Watchers, helping leadership teams think clearly about growth, positioning, and longevity. What We Discuss: (00:00) Why Most Brands Stall Even With Great Marketing (07:18) What It Actually Means To Be A Top Meta Agency (14:42) Why Product Strategy Matters More Than Ads (22:05) The Biggest Mistake Early Brands Make Online (30:11) How Influencer Marketing Really Drives Sales (38:47) Why Winners Win And How To Spot Them Early (47:26) How Fitness Builds Confidence Beyond The Gym (56:02) The Real Link Between Personal Growth And Business Success Thank you to our sponsors: Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off  Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout. Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off  Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order  Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen    Find more from Jen:  Website: www.jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen   Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Emily Hickey: Website: www.chiefdetective.com Instagram: @emilyhickey_official YouTube: Emily Hickey: Growth Series