Gift Wrapping Returns

Veronique’s favorite Christmas episode is returning to brighten your Holiday Season! One of the many joyous traditions practiced in this Holiday Season is the exchanging of gifts. Gifts, ultimately, are just things – maybe toys, maybe socks, maybe a Red Ryder Range 200 Shot BB Gun. What makes a gift magical is that it comes wrapped. You are handed a mysterious, shrouded box or bag of clandestine wonder and your only task is to annihilate this thin obfuscation and claim your prize. But what is the obligation of the gift-wrapper? Amazon would claim fulfilment after dropping the item into a shiny bag. Though, a true artisan of gift endowment would not be satisfied short of pristine paper, crisply folded and decorated to Emily Post perfection. But to seal it, there is no alternative to the hideous plastic bandage of Scotch Tape. Join Mat, Veronique, and Guest – Beth Conley – as we adhere ourselves to the highest standards and stick that first bit of tape directly to the Gift Wrapping. *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _________________________________ Learn more about Beth: BethConley.comFollow Beth on Insta: @BethConley89 _________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Gift Wrapping Returns appeared first on Mat Labotka.

There is something deeply elemental about doors. Something lurks in our minds, possibly from our days living in caves, that profoundly impacts the way humankind’s subconscious reacts to doorways. ‘Opening Doors’ is metaphorically equivalent to obtaining opportunities. What prizes await behind Door Number Two? ‘Making an Entrance’ is to become the center of attention. As a matter of fact, the word ‘Entrance’ means both ‘Doorway’ and ‘Fill with wonder.’ So let’s take a moment to admire this doorway before we move through it. Except, there are people behind us. And there are folks coming the other way that need to use the door. Have you ever entered a room and forgotten why you entered in the first place? Cross the threshold with Mat, Veronique, and Guest – Chauncy Thomas – as we forget to even step into the room and instead, blissfully entertain in the space between two places, like a clog in the toilet, we stand Blocking Passageways! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ Follow Chauncy on Insta: @chauncythomasOr see Chauncy in Christmas Carol if you’re in the area: Lyceum Theatre _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Blocking Passageways appeared first on Mat Labotka.

In this futuristic age, it is easy to forget that we are mortal. Humanity has become nearly all-powerful… we can summon the visage of someone in another realm on our magic mirrors regardless the distance; we can portend the future through the crystal ball of our Accuweather Apps; and we can séance the guidance of the non-living through Grok. But we are still beholden to the curses of our flesh and blood. There are still miasmas that render us prone, blights that cripple our ability to rise above the muck of the natural world. And we are vulnerable during this cold, and stressful season. And what woe that it is our very stress that delivers to us the very worst of our diseases. Bubble, bubble, toil, and trouble with Veronique and Mat as we curse the plaguing blight of The Pox!!! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post The Pox appeared first on Mat Labotka.

As Autumn sets in once again, humanity must face the eternal questions of decay that haunt the bare branches and long shadows of Hallow’s Eve. Life is full of Grumbles, as this podcast attests; but so then is the ever-present awareness of mortality. As the spiritual veil pulls back, now is the time to question that infinite darkness of the beyond. But which is the more haunting idea: to cross the River Styx and join the dead, or to remain tethered to this world with business unfinished? Percolate this purgatory with Mat and Veronique as we invoke the spirits and confront our metaphysical and metaphorical Ghosts! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Ghosts appeared first on Mat Labotka.

The meaning of life is a question that has plagued philosophers since the dawn of time. Some say love, or laughter, maybe presence of mind, even the number 42 may hold the answer; but the question persists. Except in a scientific sense. The whole purpose of life in a scientific sense is to procreate. The proliferation of life is the purpose of life. This, very simply, means that we must pair off. As in Noah’s Ark, two-by-two we must seclude ourselves and procreate. Some species don’t like to cohabitate, like the Black Widow or the Praying Mantis, it’s more of a one-night-stand situation. And some animals choose to mate for life, like the penguin or the swan. And then there is Humankind. Of course we complicate things with bureaucracy. Contracts must be signed and alliances must be strengthened through generational guarantees. And when taxes are owed, the government needs certification that these two individuals have obligated themselves to mate for life. Bind yourself to Mat and Veronique as we remove the Romantic Comedy from our lives and chase that stoic, concrete nuptial contract of Weddings! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Weddings appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Music is a fundamental element to humankind’s soul. Before spoken language, there was music. Our bodies have circadian rhythms and heart beats, but also our nature calls us to tap and clap. Drums call us to dance and horns summon us to war. We sing to our babies and we sing to our gods. We fife our revolutions and we Dance Dance Revolution. The melody is inside of us and it harmonizes with our nature. But like a crippling addiction, we demand more and more. Turn it up! More cowbell! Modern speaker technology allows music to cripple us. The bass is no longer moving our feet so much as quaking our footing. When fans are passing out earplugs at the concerts they paid to attend, are we harmonizing with our inner-selves or masochistically self-destructing? Amplify your rage with Mat and Veronique as we push past the tinnitus with the deafening cacophony of Music Volume! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Music Volume appeared first on Mat Labotka.

In humankinds modern, late-stage-capitalistic world, one of the most celebrated luxuries is Flavor. Chefs and Sommeliers are world renowned celebrities. The spicy Scoville-covered-chicken enhanced interrogations called ‘Hot Ones’ is not only legal under the Geneva Conventions, but popular entertainment. For thousands of years, salt, spices, teas, and flavors have caused wars, slave-trade, and the fall of dynasties. But, now, in the days of the Coca-Cola Freestyle machine, where 165 flavors are the touch-of-a-button away, people still grapple over flavor. When Sumatran Arabica and Ecuadorian Robusta are on the same shelf as Celsius, how can either be the finer? Wake up with Veronique and Mat to the vibrant, robust odor or Coffee Snobs! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Coffee Snobs appeared first on Mat Labotka.

In a more Enlightened Age, humankind’s fundamental, inalienable rights were simmered down to Life, Liberty, and Property. Nine tenths of the law revolves around Possession. We treat material ownership with divine reverence. But just because someone owns something, doesn’t mean they know where it is. When we encounter an object bereft of its owner, we label it as Lost… depending on size. A wallet on the side of the road is lost, but a car is not. A needle in a haystack is lost, but a plow is not. Do we find the owner? Or do we move it to a more central location? But also, removing something without an owners permission is theft. In this murky, thick, grey bog of split morality, how can we know what the right and true thing to do is? Recover your bygone moral compass with Mat and Veronique as we uncover the secret map to the fabled Lost and Found! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Lost and Found appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind does not have fur. Somewhere along the Darwinian path, it became advantageous to free ourselves of this coat and instead weave our own, seasonal wardrobe. Since then, clothing has become very much a part of our self-identity. We wear clothes based on weather, occasion, occupation, and fashion; but never would we leave the house without something covering our bare nudity. In the unseemly heat, we get as close as possible, but never can we escape the binding need for coverage. When the cloth we cover ourselves with for warmth becomes the shield for our unmentionables, are we free to express ourselves? Or are we shackled by shame? Sinch up your skimpiest outfit with Veronique and Mat as we fail to cool off by busting out the Summer Shorts! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Summer Shorts appeared first on Mat Labotka.

The Earth sources all of its energy from the Sun. The Sun heats the Earth, allowing for liquid water, which it then evaporates, giving us atmosphere and fresh water. It feeds the plants and it dries our laundry. But it is also a poison to us. It is not only vampires and trolls that must shield themselves from its furious light, but we mortal humans must cower from the terrors of its rays. The Sun dries us out, beats our senses, irradiates our skin, and ages us like drinking from the false grail. So why do we bathe in its light? Why do we seek it out at the edges of our shores? Come lay-out with Mat and Veronique as we unshadow this solar Stockholm Syndrome we suffer from the blinding bane of Sunshine! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Sunshine appeared first on Mat Labotka.