Growing up different can leave a lasting impact on how we see ourselves, our relationships, and our sense of belonging. Even years later, many gay men still carry the feeling of being on the outside looking in—surrounded by people, yet not truly known.
In this episode, we're exploring the roots of belonging, why so many gay men struggle with deep loneliness, and what it actually takes to find meaningful connection.
We get into:
- The difference between fitting in and truly belonging
- Why you can have friends and still feel profoundly lonely
- How shame and abandonment wounds shape our relationships
- The role authenticity plays in creating real connection
- Why belonging isn't about everyone agreeing with you—and what it actually requires
- Practical ways to cultivate a deeper sense of belonging in your life
If you've ever felt like you don't quite fit, this conversation is a reminder that belonging isn't about becoming someone else—it's about finding the courage to let yourself be known.
Today's Hosts:
- Matt Landsiedel
- Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men
- Reno Johnston
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
- Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
- Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
- Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
- Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
- Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
- Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
- Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
- Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
- Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
Chapters
- (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: How Did Growing Up Gay Affect My Sense
- (00:04:52) - How Growing Gay Affected My Sense of Belonging Today
- (00:10:57) - Gay Men Talking About Being Gay
- (00:15:28) - Michael on Being Gay and Growing Up
- (00:18:56) - How to Belong as a Child
- (00:20:50) - The Shame of Being Gay
- (00:24:31) - What It's Like To Be Gay
- (00:28:32) - How Did Growing Up Gay Affect My Sense of Belonging?
- (00:29:22) - What Does Belonging Mean to You?
- (00:31:26) - You Talk About Belonging To Your Sexual Pleasure
- (00:35:42) - The Importance of Belonging
- (00:37:57) - What Does Belonging Mean To You? Part 2
- (00:39:30) - How do you find belonging in your life?
- (00:42:24) - Are Gay Spaces Necessary For Dating?
- (00:46:36) - A Couple's Surprise
- (00:47:28) - What Does Belonging Mean To You?
- (00:48:57) - Michael On The Importance Of Self-
- (00:51:25) - What's the space that you feel most comfortable being yourself in?
- (00:52:36) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: The Coaching Collection
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