439: Why Betrayal Lives in the Body—And How to Release It

In this deeply vulnerable and empowering episode, I sit down with author, speaker, and somatic practitioner, Laurie James, to unpack her remarkable journey from decades of nervous system dysregulation to deep, body-based healing.  Laurie’s story begins in childhood, where she endured the pain of adoption complexities, sibling abuse, and growing up in a home where she never felt truly safe. These early experiences planted the seeds of hypervigilance, self-worth struggles, and an ongoing search for belonging.  Fast forward to adulthood, Laurie faced multiple betrayals in her marriage—one that shook her to her core when her then-husband violated her deepest boundary by contacting her birth mother against her wishes, and another that emerged as a major financial betrayal impacting their family. Layered with years of caregiving for her aging parents, the stress built silently in her body until it erupted as a severe health crisis.  Laurie shares openly how chronic stress and unresolved trauma manifested physically—gut issues, anxiety, sleep disruption—and how years of talk therapy alone couldn’t release what was stored in her body. The turning point came when she discovered somatic experiencing—a therapeutic approach that helps release trauma from the nervous system through gentle body awareness practices.  In our conversation, Laurie explains:  Why trauma lives in the body and can cause chronic dysregulation for decades  The physical symptoms and health issues that can stem from betrayal and unresolved trauma  How somatic experiencing works and why it was the missing piece in her healing  Practical examples of self-regulation tools you can try right now  How to build a personalized nervous system regulation toolkit  The importance of curiosity, presence, and “nourishing” difficult emotions rather than avoiding them  If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t “think” your way out of anxiety, hypervigilance, or betrayal pain—this episode will give you a new perspective and hope. Lourie’s story is proof that even after decades of dysregulation, it is possible to find safety, stability, and healing in your own body again.  Resources:  Laurie James: https://www.laurieejames.com  The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  PBT Certification Info: https://thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified  

In this deeply moving episode, Dr. Debi Silber is joined by author and transformational guide Megan Walrod, whose debut novel It’s Always Been Me is not just a story—it’s a healing journey. What began as a personal process to move through her own betrayal turned into a breathtaking fictional narrative that reflects the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough.  Megan shares how writing the character of Sabina, a woman who loses herself while supporting her partner’s dream, became a powerful tool for reclaiming her voice and healing old wounds. Through this conversation, you’ll hear how creative expression, emotional release, and reconnection with intuition can become catalysts for transformation after heartbreak.  This episode is a powerful reminder: even when your life doesn’t look like the story you thought you’d live, you can write a new one—and become the main character of your own life.  🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:  Why betrayal often invites us to reclaim buried dreams and lost parts of ourselves  How writing can be a powerful tool for healing  The difference between supporting others and losing yourself  How to reconnect with your intuition after it’s been dismissed or doubted  Why emotional expression (even messy or angry) is necessary for healing  What it means to become the main character of your own life  How Megan’s novel It’s Always Been Me mirrors the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough  📚 About the Guest:  Megan Walrod is an author, speaker, and guide who helps women reclaim their voice, write their truth, and live a life aligned with their deepest desires. Her debut novel, It’s Always Been Me, is a fictionalized yet soul-baring exploration of healing after betrayal. The book includes free reflection questions and book group prompts, available at meganwalrod.com/book.  📘 Mentioned in the Episode:  Megan Walrod’s novel: It’s Always Been Me. Find it here: https://www.meganwalrod.com/book   The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough (learn more at thepbtinstitute.com)  Painting, journaling, and creative expression as tools for trauma recovery 

📝 Episode Summary:  In this heart-opening episode, Dr. Debi Silber sits down with PBT® Coach Lisa Teichmiller to explore the essential—but often overlooked—role of grief in the betrayal recovery journey. Lisa shares her personal story of navigating betrayal not just in her marriage, but in her business and identity, offering a raw and relatable testimony of what it takes to truly rebuild from the inside out.  Together, Dr. Debi and Lisa discuss:  Why grief is not a weakness but a necessary step to healing  The emotional weight of betrayal and how it shatters trust and identity  The five stages of grief and how acceptance becomes the turning point  Why rebuilding your life requires choosing new “bricks” with intention  The link between grief, clarity, and designing a life that reflects your worth  How journaling can help process suppressed emotions and reconnect with your intuition  The importance of safe, supportive spaces in healing—especially when betrayal goes beyond romantic relationships  Lisa brings both wisdom and warmth as she explains how honoring grief leads to powerful transformation, and how walking through the fire can uncover who you were truly meant to be.  🔗 Connect with Lisa:  The PBT Institute Reclaim Program https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/    🌐 LisaTeichmiller.com  📸 Instagram: @lisateichmiller  💬 Favorite Quotes:  “Your heart is working. That means you're still here—not all is lost.” “Grief is not weakness. It’s clarity, it’s healing, and it’s the foundation of transformation.” “Don’t go to the same brick quarry. You’re building something new.” 

In this powerful episode, Dr. Debi Silber dives into one of the most misunderstood yet essential parts of healing after betrayal: forgiveness. She explores forgiveness from two sides—forgiving ourselves and forgiving others—and unpacks the deep misconceptions that keep people stuck in pain, resentment, and confusion.  You’ll learn why forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation, how it affects your physical, emotional, and mental health, and why self-forgiveness is just as important—if not more—than forgiving the person who hurt you. Dr. Debi also introduces the Window of Willingness, a framework to help you determine whether it’s safe (or even wise) to rebuild with someone after betrayal.  Plus, in honor of National Forgiveness Day (founded by Dr. Debi and held every year on September 1st), you’ll hear about the 21-day forgiveness experience that has helped countless people move from pain to peace. If you’ve been holding on to anger, shame, guilt, or heartbreak—this episode is your invitation to finally let it go.  🔑 What You’ll Learn:  The difference between forgiveness and rebuilding  Why forgiveness is for you, not them  How to know when it’s safe to reconcile  What the Window of Willingness tells you about the betrayer’s readiness  How self-forgiveness begins the healing process  Why cultural pressure to “forgive and forget” often backfires  A fresh take on forgiving without enabling  📘 Mentioned in the Episode:  Trust Again by Dr. Debi Silber  NationalForgivenessDay.com – Join the 21-day Forgiveness Transformation Program    🎁 Ready to Begin Forgiving—On Your Own Terms? Join us for the 21-Day Forgiveness Transformation Program starting September 1st. It’s now a self-paced program filled with inspiration, daily actions, a forgiveness tracker, and powerful stories to support your healing. Sign up at nationalforgivenessday.com  What is forgiveness—and what isn’t it? Learn the truth about forgiving yourself and others after betrayal, plus how to know when (or if) to rebuild trust. 

In this powerful episode, Dr. Debi Silber sits down with licensed psychotherapist and author Chelsea Brooke Cole to unpack the intersection of narcissism and agreeableness. Chelsea shares her personal journey through two narcissistic marriages—one with a grandiose narcissist, and the other with a vulnerable one—and how her agreeable nature played a key role in why she stayed. Together, they explore why agreeable people are often targeted, how narcissists think differently, and why healing means reclaiming your empathy without enabling abuse. If you've ever asked yourself, “How did I miss this?”—this episode is for you.  What You'll Learn:  The difference between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists  Why highly agreeable people are prime targets for narcissists  How childhood trauma can condition us to "earn" love  The five traits of agreeableness and how they impact relationships  Why narcissists are wired to exploit what makes you compassionate  The myth of changing a narcissist  Why awareness, boundaries, and understanding narcissistic thinking are key to healing  About Chelsea Brooke Cole: Chelsea is a licensed psychotherapist, author of If Only I’d Known, and expert in narcissistic abuse recovery. She specializes in helping individuals understand the psychology of narcissists, heal from trauma, and build boundaries rooted in clarity, not guilt.  Learn more: chelseabrookecole.com  Resources:  Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/  Certification: https://thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified/  For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back. https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Debi welcomes back Elizabeth Kipp—one of our beloved PBT Coaches—for a deep dive into the mental spiral that often follows betrayal. They explore the imprint trauma leaves on the nervous system, how to catch yourself in old patterns, and simple yet effective tools to get back into the body and regain a sense of control. Elizabeth shares real-life stories, explains how breathwork, awareness, and nervous system regulation can interrupt the loop, and gives us a practical six-part framework for shifting out of mental chaos. This episode is packed with insight, compassion, and actionable strategies for anyone healing from betrayal.  What You’ll Learn:  Why betrayal trauma imprints on the nervous system—and how to interrupt it  How a rusted license plate became a breakthrough moment for Elizabeth  The link between breath, nervous system regulation, and mindset  How unresolved childhood and intergenerational trauma sneak into present-day situations  6 practical ways to change your state when you're stuck in mental chaos  Why healing isn’t linear and how to make peace with the spiral  Resources:  Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/  Certification: https://thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified/  For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.     Subscribe & Review If this episode spoke to you, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review—it helps others find this life-changing work.  

In this episode, Dr. Debi Silber explores the difficult but essential topic of enabling—how we unknowingly prevent both ourselves and others from experiencing the crash-and-burn moments necessary for transformation. Drawing from real conversations with PBT® members, certified coaches, and personal experiences, Dr. Debi reveals how enabling behavior keeps betrayers from feeling the full impact of their choices and keeps the betrayed from healing deeply.  Whether you're a parent, partner, practitioner, or someone recovering from betrayal, this episode offers powerful insights into how avoiding consequences can block true growth—and how setting boundaries, allowing natural consequences, and standing in your truth can lead to breakthrough instead of burnout.  🧠 What You'll Learn:  The three groups of people who don’t heal after betrayal—and why enabling is a common factor  The physical, mental, and emotional toll enabling takes on the betrayed  How betrayers avoid transformation when they don’t face real consequences  The difference between resilience and transformation (patching the old house vs. rebuilding a new one)  A personal parenting story that illustrates the emotional challenge of not stepping in—and the growth that follows  How enabling prevents the powerful lessons that come from learning things the hard way  How to identify where you may be enabling others (or being enabled) and what it’s costing you  💬 Notable Quotes:  "When we enable, we deny someone the opportunity to crash and burn—so they can rebuild into something better."  "Easy now, hard later… or hard now, easy later. Take your pick."  "Transformation doesn’t happen from patching things up—it happens when everything falls apart, and you rebuild deliberately."   Mentioned in the Episode:  The 3 groups from Dr. Debi’s PhD study who didn’t heal  Post Betrayal Syndrome® and its symptoms  Rebuilding after betrayal using The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough  Real-world examples from members inside the PBT® Institute  🔥 Call to Action:  Are you unintentionally enabling someone—and blocking your own healing in the process? It's time to take an honest look. Reflect, journal, or speak with a trusted practitioner about how enabling may be holding you back.  Want guidance on your own healing or how to support someone else's breakthrough? Visit ThePBTInstitute.com to learn about programs, resources, and PBT® Coach/Practitioner certification. 

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Dr. Bruce Chalmer—psychologist, author, and podcast host—for an in-depth discussion about betrayal, forgiveness, and the path to healing. Dr. Chalmer shares his deeply personal journey from pain to purpose, what drew him into clinical work with couples, and why betrayal demands a very different approach to healing. We talk about the distinction between guilt and shame, the stages of rebuilding trust, and how forgiveness is truly an inside job. If you’ve ever struggled with whether to stay, how to heal, or what it really takes to move forward, this episode will speak directly to your heart.  What You’ll Learn:  Why betrayal is not just a relational rupture but a nervous system shock  How Dr. Chalmer’s personal experience shaped his work with couples  The misunderstood difference between guilt and shame  Why forgiveness is about releasing pain—not condoning behavior  What it really means to rebuild something better than before  The two-way nature of trust and how both partners play a role in restoring it  The unexpected gifts that can emerge from betrayal  Resources & Mentions:  Dr. Bruce Chalmer’s site: www.brucechalmer.com  “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” Podcast  Trust Again by Dr. Debi Silber  The 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough® framework  Reclaim-for the betrayed: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  Rebuild-for the betrayer: https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild/      

In this powerful and unexpected episode, Dr. Debi Silber is joined by Beatty Carmichael, author of The Prayer of Freedom, to explore how deeply rooted emotional pain—especially betrayal—can manifest in physical symptoms like chronic pain, anxiety, addiction, and more. Beatty shares his remarkable journey from a seven-generation family of medical doctors to developing a spiritual healing method that has helped thousands find freedom from long-term suffering.  This isn’t about religion or blind faith—it’s about uncovering and addressing the spiritual roots of chronic pain and emotional patterns that traditional medicine often can’t touch. Dr. Debi even experiences real-time relief from neck pain using Beatty’s simple prayer-based protocol.  Whether you're struggling with emotional pain, working with clients who can't seem to get unstuck, or just curious about what else might be possible—this episode will expand your understanding of healing and transformation.  🔑 Key Topics Discussed:  Beatty’s path from a medical family legacy to spiritual healing  The limitations of conventional and even holistic approaches to trauma  Why betrayal often underlies chronic pain, addiction, anxiety, and depression  How unprocessed spiritual violations amplify our emotional patterns  The "Prayer of Freedom" process—and how it’s different from typical prayer or talk therapy  Dr. Debi’s live demo: real-time relief from years of chronic neck pain  How spiritual healing ripples through families, not just individuals  The 18 root categories that open the door to spiritual oppression  Why symptoms often return—and what to do to address them at the core  💬 Notable Quotes:  “When traditional and even holistic approaches don't work, it's often because they’re missing the spiritual root.” – Beatty Carmichael  “If you’ve been betrayed and never fully processed it, it’s not just emotional—it could be driving your physical pain too.” – Dr. Debi Silber  “You don't have to live with chronic pain or depression. The solution might be simpler—and deeper—than you think.” – Beatty Carmichael  📚 Resources Mentioned:  Book: The Prayer of Freedom by Beatty Carmichael  Website: theprayerfreedombook.com – Includes testimonials, free resources, and a direct link to purchase the book on Amazon  🙌 Connect with Beatty Carmichael:  Website: theprayerfreedombook.com    👉 Ready to Heal at the Root?  Whether you're healing from betrayal or helping others do the same, spiritual freedom is possible. Learn more about how emotional wounds affect the body—and how to release them for good.  🔗 Explore Reclaim: thepbtinstitute.com/Reclaim  

In this powerful and practical conversation, Dr. Debi Silber welcomes her personal attorney and legal expert Lisa Fraley to explore the often-overlooked world of workplace and entrepreneurial betrayal. Whether you’ve been undermined by a boss, copied by a competitor, or blindsided by a client chargeback, this episode unpacks the emotional and legal complexities of betrayal in business.  Lisa shares real-world stories from her legal career, including the hidden emotional wounds behind corporate conflict and the most common legal mistakes entrepreneurs make—especially when it comes to refunds, stolen content, and broken agreements. You'll learn how to protect yourself with compassion and clarity using strong contracts, clear boundaries, and emotionally intelligent legal strategy.  WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:  How betrayal shows up in corporate settings (and why it’s often ignored)  Real-life examples of workplace betrayal—and how they silently erode trust and confidence  Why many entrepreneurs get blindsided by refunds, chargebacks, or stolen content  What to include in your client agreement to protect your income and intellectual property  Why kindness and compassion can be effective legal strategies when handling conflict  How often you should review your agreements—and why outdated documents can cost you  Why legal documents are not just protection—but energetic boundaries, too  A step-by-step guide for how to respond when someone doesn’t pay or copies your work  RESOURCE MENTIONED: 💼 Free Guide: Refund-Proof Your Client Agreement Get Lisa’s free guide to ensure your refund policies are clear and enforceable: https://lisafraley.com/refundproof  Lisa’s website: https://lisafraley.com   ABOUT LISA FRALEY: Lisa Fraley, JD, is an attorney, legal coach®, speaker, and author who blends her legal expertise with love and intuition. She supports entrepreneurs in legally protecting their businesses with contracts and insights that empower.  QUOTE WORTH REMEMBERING: “Your legal documents don’t just protect your income—they protect your energy, your content, and your boundaries.” – Lisa Fraley  CONNECT WITH DR. DEBI SILBER: Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Instagram: @debisilber  Podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough