161. HAUNT (2019)

To celebrate Friday the 13th, Greg Caldwell and Matthew Rinaldi invited EJ and Rory to help dig up and resurrect Jason Voorhees! Are they responsible for the MURDERS that followed? Who has the time to figure THAT out when they have to review “FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES!” 

After their homes were destroyed by two warring kaijus, Rory, Elle Snow, and Thomas Shubilla make a plan to pay off their property damage by making some sweet sweet cash by gambling on the battle of the century, “KING KONG vs. GODZILLA!” Should they spend less time gambling and more time searching for EJ’s mangled body in the sea of rubble? Nah!

They’re coming to give you a LIVE discussion about the classic film “NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD” featuring Jeff Boam, Barbara! Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! To celebrate the SPOOKIEST night of the year, EJ, Rory, Becky, and Tom have joined the Myers family for their annual white trash holiday spectacular! Why put themselves through such an unpleasant experience you ask? Well, it’s because EJ and Rory are in deep debt with the ghost community and the Myers house is the only one on the block that the ghosts refuse to haunt due to the wild dysfunction and excessive foul language! These are classy ghosts, people! Anywho, while the Myers family berates each other around a glowing jack-o’-lantern, the gang reviews Rob Zombie’s controversial retelling of “HALLOWEEN!” Twas a terrific way to disassociate! “Happy Halloween you (steady stream of vile expletives)” - Ronnie White

This week on another SPOOKY episode of FREAKQUELS, Rory, Jay Salerno, and friend of the show Greg Caldwell take 3 time loser Jack-o under their wing to help him get his life together. Feeling he’s lost his way in an endless pursuit of drugs, money, and women, the gang has him watch his biopic “JACK-O” in hopes of returning their demonic pumpkin pal to his former glory!

On an extra SPOOKY Halloween episode of FREAKQUELS, Rory and EJ have joined Hell’s army after learning about the dental plan it offers. Now Metal Messiah and co-worker Sister Gloria can either convert them back to the light or review the gonzo sequel, “NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2!” Why not do both? Because shut up that’s why! Anywho, after much deliberation, they have chosen the review. I mean, the light doesn’t stand a chance when faced with a plan that doesn’t downgrade on fillings.

Happy SPOOKY SEASON to all who celebrate! This week, Rory is overwhelmed with the holiday spirit so he got some of his fellow maniacs a job at the local haunted attraction, and not only that, he got Aliah and EJ free tickets to see it! Sure many of the guests disappear never to be seen again, but let’s not blame Stabby Joe…even if he’s covered in a lot of blood screaming, “No meds, just deads!” Anywho, seeing that our lovable gang of cinephiles is trying to keep their minds off the uncomfortably real carnage throughout, they disassociate by discussing the Halloween horror flick, “HAUNT!” Could they discuss something with a little more levity? No. No they can not. 

On a very special episode of FREAKQUELS, EJ and Rory open up about their traumatic experience working with the sociopathic star of the cherished animated feature, “THE BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER.” 

27 years ago, EJ, Rory, and Corinne DeNinno made a promise to return to the small town of Derry if the demonic clown they brutally murdered as children ever returned. I mean, they hope he was demonic… and not just wearing intense makeup. Come to think of it, they were at a haunted attraction and there was zero evidence that the clown was dangerous. Huh…poor Bozo. Anywho, feeling remorse is for suckers so the gang is just going to drown out the feeling by reviewing the epic mini-series, “STEPHEN KING’S IT!”

This week on the FREAKQUELS, EJ and Rory have turned into sensual metal men so of course they must battle for supremacy! How they got this way is a tale as wild as “TETSUO: THE IRON MAN”, a film that Marcie Riebe and Lou LaLonde are watching to get ideas on how to help revert the boys back to their fleshy flesh forms. God, this show is stupid…