Episode 110: Why do we fear our feelings? (and why thats ok)

Struggling with intense emotions during eating disorder recovery? You’re not alone — and this episode of Fly to Freedom is for you.When you stop restricting food and start reconnecting with your body, something unexpected often happens: a flood of feelings. Sadness, anxiety, anger, even joy — all rushing back in. It can feel overwhelming, frightening, and confusing. You might even wonder, “Am I doing recovery wrong?”In this powerful episode, Julia Trehane — specialist anorexia recovery coach and voice behind Fly to Freedom — shares why emotional intensity is a natural and essential part of healing from anorexia and other eating disorders. You’ll learn how emotional numbness is a survival mechanism, how restriction affects the brain and nervous system, and what’s really happening when feelings resurface in recovery.Why we fear our feelings during recovery (and why that fear is valid)How food restriction blunts emotional processing — and why refeeding reawakens itThe neuroscience behind emotional overwhelm and protectionHow to respond when emotions feel like “too much”Tools to process feelings safely, without shame or judgementA gentle mindset shift: feeling isn’t failing — it’s healingThis episode is a gentle companion for anyone experiencing emotional chaos while trying to recover. If you’ve ever thought “I can’t cope with these emotions” or “I feel like I’m falling apart,” this conversation will help you understand that nothing is wrong with you — you’re waking up, and you are healing.Inside the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, you’ll find the Feelings Navigator — a powerful tool created for this exact moment in recovery. With guided videos, meditations, and strategies for emotions like guilt, sadness, rage and fear, you’ll finally have the support you need to understand and move through every feeling with confidence and compassion.Mentioned in this episode:See an example from the Feelings NavigatorJoin the Eating Disorder Recovery CircleYou are not too much. You are healing. You are coming back to life — and you are doing it beautifully.

****UPDATE FOR THIS EPISODE****Right at the end, I give a link to my Recovery Circle community and courses. In my excitement, I gave the wrong link! it should be https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/Oops!In this special monthly catch-up episode of Fly to Freedom, Julia and Victoria come together again to chat, giggle, and offer heartfelt insight into the raw realities of eating disorder recovery. From slippers and sensory issues to deep conversations about mother-daughter recovery, guilt, brain fog, and redefining identity, this episode is packed with warmth, wisdom, and relatable support.Together, they answer real listener questions, including:💬 “If you could relive a moment without the eating disorder, which would it be?”💬 “How do I stop feeling guilty about resting or not exercising?”💬 “How do I cope with my daughter also trying to recover while I’m recovering myself?”They also cover deeply personal reflections like:Why gaining weight can feel unsafe (and why it’s not)The grief of letting go of an identity tied to anorexiaWhat to wear during body changesThe truth about brain fog in eating disorder recoveryHow to forgive yourself for the lies the eating disorder made you tellJulia shares from her experience of 40 years with anorexia and her complete recovery, and Victoria speaks candidly about body image, shame, and building a new life on the other side of restriction.Whether you’re a mother in recovery, navigating guilt around rest, or wondering if your life really is better with the eating disorder – this episode will hold space for you with love, compassion, and a little bit of laughter too.Want support from Julia & Vic together?We’re now offering joint coaching for those who want the combined support of both of us through recovery. If you're interested in working with the dream team, send us an email:📩 Julia – [email protected]📩 Victoria – [email protected] come and connect with us on Instagram:📱 @juliatrehane📱 @victoriakleinsmanofficialPLUS! If 1:1 coaching isn't your thing, my new Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is THE place to be! It's an active community where a single monthly subscription gets you lots of courses o recovery, lots of great tools and wonderful, supportive chat rooms full of other people who have been through what you're going through. Sign up today at https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/

So many people in eating disorder recovery believe they have to earn support — by being sicker, quieter, or more perfect. But what if that’s the very belief that’s been keeping healing out of reach?In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I gently but powerfully unravel the dangerous myth that you have to do recovery alone. I share openly — including from my own lived experience — why support isn’t a luxury, but a lifeline. We explore the emotional roots of the belief ‘I don’t deserve help,’ how emotional neglect shapes our nervous systems, and the neuroscience of connection as medicine.You’ll also hear, for the first time in depth, about the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — the supportive, compassionate membership space I created for those ready to move beyond survival and build true food freedom, body trust, and self-worth. This isn’t a sales pitch. It’s an invitation.Whether you're just starting recovery or stuck in a quiet kind of suffering, this episode is a hand to hold. You are allowed to be supported. And you never have to do this alone.Inside this episode:The biggest lie eating disorders tell us about supportHow emotional neglect wires your brain to reject helpWhy “I’m fine” often means “I’m surviving, not living”The healing power of being seen, supported and understoodWhat’s waiting for you inside the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle✨ If this stirred something in you, you’ll find everything you need to join the Circle and begin receiving support in the link below. Your place is already waiting. You are worthy — now.LINKS:Join the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

This episode is nothing short of extraordinary. Today, I sit down with Dr. Robb Kelly, a world-renowned recovery expert who is changing lives through his neuroscience-based approach to addiction, trauma, and mental health.The world’s best recovery coaches don’t just treat the symptoms of addiction—they focus on the root causes, addressing the deeper issues that keep people stuck. Dr. Robb Kelly is among this elite group, helping people break free from destructive patterns and fully rewire their brains for recovery and success.From homelessness and near-death experiences to becoming a leading authority in addiction recovery, Dr. Kelly shares his raw and powerful personal journey. We dive into the science behind addiction, the role of childhood trauma, and how rewiring the brain makes full recovery possible—not just from substance addiction, but from any self-sabotaging cycle.This conversation is real, deep, and transformational, offering hope, tools, and inspiration for anyone struggling with addiction, eating disorders, or self-destructive habits.🔹 The science of addiction and why it’s more than just willpower🔹 The link between trauma and addiction (including eating disorders)🔹 How to rewire the brain and override old neural pathways🔹 The power of belief in transforming your life🔹 Why stepping out of your comfort zone is the key to lasting change🔹 The four brain chemicals that influence happiness and addiction🔹 How self-sabotage keeps you stuck—and how to break free🔹 Why every single person has the power to fully recoverDr. Kelly’s wisdom, energy, and lived experience make this episode a must-listen for anyone seeking real, lasting transformation.Dr. Robb Kelly, PhD, is a globally recognised addiction recovery expert, speaker, and author. He has appeared on The Doctors, Good Morning Texas, USA Today, and many other major media outlets. His groundbreaking work in neuroscience and addiction recovery has helped thousands of people achieve full, lasting recovery.His book, Daddy, Daddy Please Stop Drinking, chronicles his powerful personal journey through addiction and recovery.🔗 Connect with Dr. Robb Kelly:🌐 Website🔗 Linktree⏳ 04:48 – Understanding Addiction and Recovery⏳ 07:45 – Dr. Kelly’s Personal Journey⏳ 18:25 – The Science Behind Addiction⏳ 28:10 – Overcoming Self-Sabotage⏳ 33:15 – The True Measure of Success⏳ 33:47 – Finding Fulfillment in Helping Others⏳ 35:16 – Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone⏳ 36:17 – The Power of Belief and Taking Action⏳ 45:27 – Childhood Influences and Overcoming Trauma⏳ 49:27 – The Importance of Nurturing and Presence⏳ 52:48 – Tools for Overcoming Addiction and Trauma🎧 Listen now and discover how to break free from self-sabotage, reclaim your life, and step into true recovery.💬 Did this episode resonate with you? Let me know your thoughts!#Recovery #Healing #AddictionRecovery #TraumaHealing #SelfSabotage #MentalHealth #EDRecovery #OvercomingAddiction #ChildhoodTrauma #NeuroscienceIn This Episode, We Discuss:About Dr. Robb KellyEpisode Chapters

Welcome back to Fly to Freedom. In this second part of our series on common eating disorder recovery symptoms, we’re exploring the emotional and neurological shifts that often surface during the healing process.If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, I encourage you to start there—we covered the physical signs of healing in anorexia recovery, including extreme hunger, bloating, and fatigue. In this episode, we shift focus to the internal healing process—those invisible but powerful changes that can feel overwhelming, confusing, or even frightening at times.Together, we unpack:Hair shedding in recovery – why it happens and why it's a good signTemperature dysregulation – swinging between freezing and overheatingBrain fog and memory issues – how malnutrition affects cognitive functionDizziness and lightheadedness – understanding what’s really happeningFrequent urination – how your body is rebalancing its fluid levelsMenstrual cycle changes – what to expect as hormones regulateVivid dreams and emotional swings – the brain’s way of processing againTeeth sensitivity and sore gums – oral health during nourishment restorationEvery one of these symptoms is part of your body’s deep healing. In this episode, I’ll explain why they occur, how long they might last, and what you can do to ease them.Healing doesn't always feel like healing—and that’s why this conversation matters so much. These symptoms are not signs that something is going wrong. They are signs that your body is finally feeling safe enough to rebuild.✨ If you’ve been feeling like your mind is foggy, your emotions are on a rollercoaster, or your body is doing strange things—this episode is for you.You are not broken.You are healing.Resources Mentioned:Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle – your place for support, tools, and communityThe Feelings Navigator – explore what you’re feeling and get instant support (within the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle)Other helpful episodes:Episode 105 Part 1 – Physical Signs of HealingEpisode 97 – Coping with Extreme Hunger in RecoveryEpisode 81 – How Nutrition Restores Mental ClarityIf this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to know they’re not alone. And if you’re navigating recovery right now—come say hello on Instagram or send me a message. I’d love to hear from you.With love always,Julia 💛Search tags:eating disorder recovery, anorexia recovery, brain fog in recovery, hair loss eating disorder, vivid dreams in recovery, emotional swings, body temperature eating disorder, healing symptoms, mental clarity, period recovery, nervous system healing

When you begin nourishing your body again in eating disorder recovery, it doesn’t just quietly say thank you — it lets you know it's working. And that can feel overwhelming, scary, and confusing. You might even question whether you're doing recovery wrong.In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I’m breaking down what’s really happening behind the physical sensations so many people experience in early recovery — from exhaustion and digestive issues to bloating, edema, joint pain, and more.These are not signs that something’s gone wrong. They’re signs that your body is healing.We’ll explore:Why complete exhaustion is actually a good signWhat’s happening with your digestion (and how long it lasts)Why emotional swings hit hard in recoveryWhat causes bloating, heartburn, and water retention (and why they’re not permanent)How to support yourself through these physical changesWhat your body is really doing behind the scenes when you feel like it’s falling apartThis episode is your reminder that healing is messy — and it’s also miraculous.✨ Part 2 will cover the emotional and neurological changes that happen as your brain heals.Mentioned in this episode:If this episode resonates with you, come and join us inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — the all-in-one community for eating disorder recovery. You’ll find support, resources, courses, and a place to feel truly understood.Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for medical advice. Everyone’s recovery journey is different. If you're concerned about your health, please speak with a qualified professional.

Episode 104 – Q&A with Victoria and Julia: Exercise in Recovery, Body Image, and the Messy MiddleIn this episode of Fly to Freedom, Julia and Victoria are back with another listener Q&A! They answer your most pressing questions about eating disorder recovery, from reintroducing exercise to dealing with body image struggles and overcoming fears around food.💬 When is it safe to reintroduce exercise in recovery?Victoria and Julia share their personal journeys with exercise addiction and how they navigated reintroducing movement without falling back into compulsive patterns.The importance of checking in with your why—are you moving for joy or to control your body?💬 Coping with body image struggles after the food part of recovery is ‘sorted’Why body image often takes longer to heal than eating habits.Practical strategies for shifting focus away from body size and toward freedom and self-acceptance.💬 The ‘Messy Middle’ of recovery – how to push throughWhy this stage feels so hard (hint: your brain is rewiring!).How to hold onto hope even when you don’t feel the benefits yet.💬 Food obsession – will it ever stop?The difference between mental hunger and true food freedom.Why constantly thinking about food means your body still needs more.💬 Handling societal stigma when recovering into a larger bodyThe power of self-ownership and shifting the focus from appearance to self-worth.How to build a support system that truly values you for who you are.💬 Recovery at an older age – is it ever too late?Julia’s experience starting recovery at 48 and why age is never a barrier to healing.💬 How to move away from a meal plan without slipping into restrictionThe signs that you’re ready to transition away from structured eating.How to trust your body’s cues and avoid sneaky restrictive patterns.💬 Near relapses – what happens if you slip back?Why temporary setbacks don’t mean failure.The importance of self-compassion, accountability, and learning from the experience.💬 Morning hunger struggles – how to overcome the fear of breakfastWhy delaying eating fuels the eating disorder.The simple mindset shift that helps you start your day with recovery instead of restriction.✨ Takeaway Message:Recovery is about choosing freedom over and over again. It’s messy, it’s hard, but it is so worth it. If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone—and support is out there for you.💜 Join the Circle! The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is launching on April 1st, offering expert-led support, recovery resources, and a community that truly gets it. Get on the waitlist here: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com📩 Got a question for the next Q&A? Email Julia or Victoria directly—we love hearing from you!

🎙 Welcome back to Fly to Freedom!Have you ever felt a deep sense of loss when letting go of your eating disorder? You’re not alone. In today’s episode, I’m talking about something that many people in recovery experience but often feel afraid to admit—missing the eating disorder.💭 Why would you miss something that caused so much pain?💭 Why does letting go feel so scary, even when you know recovery is right?💭 How can you grieve the eating disorder while still moving forward?In this episode, we explore:✔ Why letting go of an eating disorder feels like grief✔ The neuroscience behind why your brain resists change✔ How the eating disorder created an illusion of control✔ Navigating the panic and fear of losing something that felt like a safety net✔ Practical coping strategies to move through the fear and discomfort✔ A powerful guided visualization to help you feel safe in this process✨ You can miss the eating disorder without wanting to go back.✨ You are not losing yourself—you are rediscovering who you truly are.✨ Freedom is waiting for you, one step at a time.💜 If grief is a feeling you’re struggling with, our new Feelings Navigator inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle includes a complete section on grief, with a workbook, journaling prompts, and even a meditation designed to help you process and cope with this raw emotion. Because recovery isn’t just about the actions you take—it’s about learning how to support yourself through the emotions that arise along the way.🔗 Join the conversation & find support:📌 Instagram:instagram.com/juliatrehane📌 Website:juliatrehane.com📌 Community:edrecoverycircle.com👉 If this episode resonated with you, send me a message on Instagram, and let’s talk about it! And if you’re ready for more support, come and be part of The Circle—a space for real connection, understanding, and recovery.🎧 Listen now and take your next step toward freedom. 💜#EatingDisorderRecovery #AnorexiaRecovery #EdRecovery #FoodFreedom #HealingJourney #SelfCompassion #MentalHealthMatters #EdSupport #RewiringTheBrain

53 minutes of sheer interview joy!Today’s episode is an absolute treat as I welcome the marvellous Amy Margolis, LCSW. Amy is a licensed therapist, co-clinical director of Santa Monica Counseling, and an expert in eating disorder recovery. She’s also a seasoned voice actor with credits from Nickelodeon, Netflix, and Disney, but more than anything, she’s a passionate advocate for healing and self-worth.This episode is extra special because Amy and I recorded an incredible conversation previously… only to find out it never saved! Luckily, Amy graciously agreed to return, and honestly, I think this conversation is even better.We cover everything from the anorexic mindset and societal conditioning to the power of vulnerability, the illusion of happiness, and how starvation impacts mental health. Whether you’re in recovery, supporting someone, or just curious about breaking free from deprivation thinking, this episode is packed with insight, wisdom, and practical advice.🔹 10:48 – Personal Journey with Eating Disorders🔹 17:00 – The Anorexic Mindset and Societal Conditioning🔹 23:45 – Challenges and Coping Mechanisms🔹 28:34 – Understanding the Anorexic Mindset🔹 28:55 – The Illusion of Happiness and Fantasy🔹 30:22 – Societal Pressures and Fullness in Life🔹 31:19 – The Impact of Starvation on Mental Health🔹 33:25 – The Core Sentence of Eating Disorders🔹 34:14 – Recovery and Embracing Needs🔹 36:48 – The Power of Vulnerability and Connection🔹 37:05 – Acting Your Way into Right Thinking🔹 40:42 – The Messiness of Life and Control🔹 42:11 – The Strengths of Those with Eating Disorders🔹 43:14 – Women Supporting Women🔹 53:06 – The Importance of JournalingAmy Margolis, LCSW, is a licensed therapist and co-clinical director of Santa Monica Counseling. She works with individuals and couples and leads groups supporting those healing from eating disorders, addictions, anxiety, depression, and related issues. Outside the clinical world, Amy is a Meisner and Groundlings-trained actor with extensive voice-over work for major networks, including Nickelodeon, Netflix, and Disney.Beyond her professional work, Amy is a devoted wife, mother of three, and an advocate for self-love and authenticity.📖 Grab Amy’s book:Here's the Memo – Every memo she wished she had when she needed it most.📲 Follow Amy on Instagram:@heres_the_memo🌐 Website & Contact:amymargolislcsw.com | Email: [email protected]🎙 Did this episode resonate with you? Let’s continue the discussion! Share your thoughts on Instagram @juliatrehane, tag me in your stories, or drop a comment!🔗 Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review—it helps more people find the support they need. 💜Timestamps:Meet Amy MargolisJoin the Conversation

Sorry folks, this episode is audio only, due to a technical fault uploading the video to Spotify. If you really want to see a video version, you can on YouTube at https://youtu.be/TJBNLRnTFcQIn this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m addressing a topic that is often misunderstood, invalidated, and overlooked—atypical anorexia.If you've ever been told, “You don’t look like you have an eating disorder” or felt like you don’t deserve help because you don’t fit the stereotype of anorexia, this episode is for you.Atypical anorexia is just as severe and life-threatening as anorexia nervosa, yet those who experience it often struggle in silence. I break down the science, misconceptions, and emotional impact of atypical anorexia and share why eating disorders should never be measured by weight alone.You'll learn:🔹 What atypical anorexia actually is and how it’s defined in the DSM-5🔹 Why BMI is an outdated and harmful metric for diagnosing eating disorders🔹 The biological effects of restriction on metabolism, hormones, brain function, and heart health—regardless of weight🔹 How misconceptions and stereotypes delay diagnosis and prevent people from getting the help they deserve🔹 The emotional toll of feeling invalidated and how internalised stigma keeps people trapped in the disorder🔹 The steps towards recovery, including rebuilding body trust, breaking free from restrictive behaviours, and challenging the eating disorder voice🔹 How self-compassion and self-love play a vital role in healing🔹 How working with a recovery coach can help you move past harmful beliefs and towards full freedomIf you've been struggling with thoughts like "I'm not sick enough to recover," please know this: your pain is real, your struggles are valid, and you deserve help. Recovery isn’t about weight—it’s about healing your relationship with food, your body, and yourself.💛 If this episode resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message or reach out for support. You don’t have to do this alone.🎧 Listen now: [insert link]Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Topic Overview01:06 Defining Atypical Anorexia02:42 The Biological Impact of Food Restriction04:38 Misconceptions and Stereotypes08:48 Emotional and Psychological Toll21:56 Steps Towards Recovery30:57 Self-Compassion and Self-Love33:20 Coaching and Support34:54 Final Encouragement📌 Follow for more support and recovery insights:#AtypicalAnorexia #EatingDisorderRecovery #YouDeserveHelp #MentalHealthMatters #EDAwareness #RecoveryIsPossible #FlyToFreedom