258. Relatability Creates Chemistry: Feel a Real Connection on Dates ft. April Beyer

This week, Ali sits down with veteran matchmaker April Beyer (who has 25+ years in the industry!) to unpack why dating feels harder than ever and how to make it more human again. They talk about letting go of attachment to outcomes, loosening rigid “criteria,” and why going on more dates can actually lead to love faster than waiting for the perfect match.April breaks down her idea of “relatability” as the real driver of chemistry, and shares practical ways to create connection on a first date without overperforming. Plus, tips for avoiding burnout and showing up as your full self from the very beginning.In Updates, Ali is coming off of January’s surprise date night, which was also Skyline’s birthday! She also chats about an upcoming vacation plus an exciting shopping trip in the near future.We’re celebrating five years of the pod next month!! Join Ali on Saturday, February 28th, 8pm at The Folly NYC. RSVP at https://tinyurl.com/fmh5years for free entry and access to Ali’s first come-first serve bar tab. And Patrons - check out the Patreon for early entry info! Can’t wait to see you there.Where to find April: On Instagram @levelconnections and at www.levelconnections.com.Timestamps: April joins us at around minute 23.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMHHomeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali sits down with FMH listener Allison for a storytime episode all about building a relationship that works for you, even if it breaks societal norms. Allison shares what it was like feeling like a late bloomer as she navigated finding her now-partner in her late 30’s. From dating a divorced dad with two kids to navigating mismatched timelines around moving in, engagement, and merging lives, Allison walks through how they used curiosity, therapy, and a lot of real conversations to get on the same page without defaulting to what relationships are “supposed” to look like.It’s a refreshing reminder that commitment can be real, secure, and deeply intentional even when your relationship doesn’t look traditional.In Updates, we’re celebrating five years of the pod next month!! Join Ali on Saturday, February 28th, 8pm at The Folly NYC. RSVP at https://tinyurl.com/fmh5years for free entry and access to Ali’s first come-first serve bar tab. And Patrons - check out the Patreon for early entry info! Can’t wait to see you there.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMHHomeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Did you ever think that improv could apply to dating? Repeat guest Miriam Katz is back this week, a fun, hands-on conversation about how to feel lighter, more confident, and more authentic on dates…using improv! They talk about tone and enthusiasm, how to practice presence in low-pressure everyday moments, and why “being good” is not the goal if you’re trying to connect like a real human. Ali flips the usual script and lets Miriam run a few playful prompts to demonstrate how loosening up and staying curious can pull you out of performance mode and into actual connection - especially when nerves start to spike. This interactive episode features tools you can use before dates, interviews, and any situation that triggers self-consciousness. And ps: FMH The Pod is now on Youtube so you can see these exercises in action!But first, we hear from Tony and Katy in Dating Diaries as Tony navigates an energy shift with someone new and Katie shares a promising update ahead of a fourth (!) date.Where to find Miriam: On Instagram @theexappealpodcast, on TikTok @exappeal, at www.miriamkatz.com.Timestamps: Miriam joins us at around minute 22.Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqsIf you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .Thanks to this week’s partners:Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this New Year episode, Ali shares her word for the year, foundation, and the theme guiding how she’s setting up the year ahead: less chaos, more intention.She explains her process for reflecting on the past year and talks through the unglamorous but powerful changes she’s focusing on in her daily life, including routines, work structure, habits, and health.Ali also answers listener questions about building routines without burning out, staying consistent when motivation fades, and how to pursue stability without slipping into stagnation.At the end, she teases last week’s Patreon episode with Skyline, where they talk about building a future intentionally and a big event coming this year.If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else extra content every week, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comBilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode, Ali is joined by Skyline for a continuation of last week’s year in review episode, this time focused on their relationship. Using a framework from her friend Talia, host of the Dating Intentionally podcast, they reflect on the past year as a couple. It’s an honest, conversational look at what stood out, what worked, what surprised them, and what the year actually felt like when you zoom out and look at it together.They talk through big-picture moments, favorite memories, travel, routines, energy, and what quality time really means in day-to-day life, before looking ahead to the year to come. Plus, a little recap on life at home with Mama J and a preview of deeper conversations on the Patreon.Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 4.If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this solo Year in Review episode, Ali shares an honest recap of 2025, including the wins, the messy parts, and why this year felt more like a quiet level-setting season than a highlight reel. She reflects on how Finding Mr. Height has evolved, what surprised her about self-employment, and what it looked like to grow “offline” while seeing online growth around her.Ali also gets real about the hardest parts of 2025, from building confidence around consulting to navigating self-doubt and struggles. She closes with the biggest personal lessons from the year, how her perspective on partnership and routines has changed, and the intentions she’s calling in for 2026, plus a takeaway for anyone feeling behind heading into the new year.In Updates, Ali reflects on her trip to Costa Rica plus a wild 48 hours of travel. Plus, we hear from Katy & Tony! From mismatched energy to reflecting on how communication styles can stall momentum and signal it’s time to walk away. The conversation ends on a hopeful note with new post-holiday dates, clearer standards, and reminders that feeling safe, seen, and energized matters more than chasing inconsistent effort.Timestamps:Katy & Tony's updates begin at around minute 18.Topic talk begins at around minute 44.If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is joined by her mom (aka Mama J) from their girls trip to Costa Rica for a real, funny, and super practical convo about holiday logistics when you’re dating someone. They start with trip updates (a crab in the hallway, a fully gluten-free resort, and the upcoming “48-hour travel day + cats” marathon), then dive into what listeners said in IG polls about where they’re spending the holidays, when people talk about plans, and what stresses everyone out most.Ali and Mama J unpack how holiday decisions actually get made, why spending holidays apart isn’t automatically a red flag, and how to communicate with your partner and your family without resentment. They talk about merging traditions, the difference between “the actual day” vs “the feeling,” and why being in your partner’s family space can feel like performing. Plus: a legendary Akavit story, Norwegian Christmas customs, and the surprisingly emotional power of something as small as a stocking with your name on it.P.S. The two Costa Rica hotels are Occidental Papagayo and Hotel Hacienda GuachipelinTimestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 13.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhDawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Content note for this episode: we talk in detail about menopause, infertility and IVF, chronic pain, medical dismissal, and depression.This week, Ali is joined by longtime listener Sara, who shares a powerful Storytime about discovering she was essentially in menopause at 36. After years of symptoms like debilitating periods, anxiety, depression, fatigue, Sara finally got answers when fertility testing revealed primary ovarian insufficiency likely caused by endometriosis.Sara walks us through her journey from “something feels off” to tracking her cycle, being dismissed by multiple providers, finally landing in a fertility clinic where she uncovered what had been happening to her body all along. She opens up about the emotional toll of IVF with very low ovarian reserve, moving to egg donor, navigating failed transfers, and what it has meant for her identity, her mental health, and her marriage.In Updates, Ali is back in NYC and reflecting on relational skills she’s grown while in a relationship with Skyline.Where to find Sara: On Instagram @blankplatepod, on TikTok @blankplatepod, at www.blankplatepodcast.com.Timestamps: Sara joins us at around minute 22.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastWant to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!Thanks to this week’s partners:Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Katy & Tony are back this week to share their updates from the dating trenches. First, Tony tells us about the guy he’s surprisingly started dating long distance - we unpack mixed signals, hookup-to-date pivots, and how long distance might work better for him.Then we chat with Katy, whose dating life is serving a completely different flavor of excitement. Think: texting energy, red flags, self-check moments, friends meeting your date, and more. Plus, we send a follow-up text live on the mic!In Updates, I’m reflecting on my first holiday spent with Skyline’s family (and the first spent away from mine in 20 years).Timestamps: Katy & Tony joins us at around minute 21.If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.comHomeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week, Ali welcomes the brilliant and endlessly curious Miriam Tinberg, a content creator who describes herself (rightly so!) as a conversation starter. If you like discussions that make you say, “wait, I’ve never thought about it like that,” you’re in the right place. We dive into unspoken rules, etiquette, communication patterns, and the gray space we all actually live in - not just in dating & relationships, but in all of life!The two also chat about this week’s Media Mention, “Good Conversations Have Lots of Doorknobs” by Adam Mastroianni: https://www.experimental-history.com/p/good-conversations-have-lots-of-doorknobsIn Updates, Ali is back from vacation, where she and Skyline relaxed, reset, dealt with a surprise back injury, and started dreaming up future trips. They also tackled some big home and routine changes now that he’s back in an office five days a week.Where to find Miriam: On Instagram @miriam_tinny, on Substack.Timestamps: Miriam joins us at around minute 22.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.comHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy