Why You’re Not in the Mood (Hint: It’s Not Hormones—It’s Rage)

I'm beyond thrilled to welcome back to the pod, the brilliant Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of the groundbreaking books "Come As You Are" and her newest release "Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections." In this intimate and enlightening episode, Emily breaks down what it really takes to maintain a vibrant sexual connection in long-term relationships – and it might not be what you think! We dive deep into: • The 7 emotional "rooms" that influence our sexual experiences • Why pleasure matters more than desire • How to navigate body changes and transitions while maintaining intimacy • The surprising truth about what makes sex "magnificent" (hint: it's not what most people assume!) Emily also shares her own experiences, including how writing her books impacted her personal relationships and what she learned about rekindling intimate connections during challenging times. Her practical wisdom about navigating perimenopause, body image, and relationship transitions is both validating and empowering. For anyone struggling to find their way to pleasure in these challenging times (and let's be honest - when isn't it "these times"?), this episode offers hope, practical tools, and permission to prioritize pleasure as essential nourishment for our relationships and wellbeing. Whether you're in a long-term partnership or simply want to better understand your own sexual wellbeing, this conversation offers invaluable insights about creating lasting intimate connections that can weather life's many changes. Ready to transform your intimate life? Listen to the full episode above, and don't forget to check out Emily's new book "Come Together" for even more wisdom about creating the sexual connection you desire. Links Mentioned: Find more from Dr. Emily Nagoski at EmilyNagoski.com and sign up for her newsletter! Books: Come As You Are, Burnout, and Come Together   💖 Bring Your Desire back with my Sensuall Self-Discovery Journal—a sacred space where you can embark on a journey of self-exploration, self-love, and embracing your sensuality. In this journal, we will delve deep into the beautiful tapestry of your desires, senses, and the unique expression of your sensual self. Get It HERE!

What if the key to a thriving relationship isn’t better communication—but better agreements? In this powerful episode of Find Your Feminine Fire, I’m joined by relationship guide and executive coach Krista Van Derveer to explore how creating soul-aligned, explicit agreements can bring more clarity, connection, and purpose into your partnership. Krista and her partner turned their 24 agreements into wedding vows—and in this conversation, she shares how intentional relating can be a catalyst for healing and evolution. ✨ What makes an agreement explicit (vs. implied—and often unmet) ✨ Why conflict doesn’t mean failure—it’s actually a repair opportunity ✨ What happens when your values don’t align—and how to navigate it ✨ How to design your relationship as a sacred container for growth Listen now and discover how clear agreements can unlock the intimacy you’re craving. Hosted by Amanda Testa, sex, love, and relationship coach for women ready to reclaim their feminine fire. Learn more about Krista and get her free guide at kristavanderveer.com 💖Bring Your Desire back with my Sensual Self-Discovery Journal—a sacred space where you can embark on a journey of self-exploration, self-love, and embracing your sensuality. In this journal, we will delve deep into the beautiful tapestry of your desires, senses, and the unique expression of your sensual self. Get It HERE!

Ever find yourself in a cycle of nitpicking and low-grade arguments with your partner? You're not alone. In this episode of Find Your Feminine Fire, Amanda Testa shares why couples fall into the bickering trap—and how to break free. With real-life stories, expert insights, and somatic wisdom, you'll learn:  ✨ The nervous system's role in repetitive arguments ✨ How to interrupt the "fight loop" with one powerful tool ✨ Ways to reframe conflict into connection ✨ A script for approaching hard conversations with love ✨ How to rebuild emotional safety and intimacy—step by step 🎧 Listen now and learn how to shift from irritation to intimacy. Send Amanda a direct message on Instagram (@abtesta) with the word Bicker for a free resource of common phrases you can use to help stop the bickering.  💖Bring Your Desire back with my Sensual Self-Discovery Journal—a sacred space where you can embark on a journey of self-exploration, self-love, and embracing your sensuality. In this journal, we will delve deep into the beautiful tapestry of your desires, senses, and the unique expression of your sensual self. Get It HERE!

Feeling more like roommates than lovers? You're not alone—and you're not stuck. This week on the pod, Find Your Feminine Fire, I’m sharing 3 simple but powerful shifts to help you and your partner regain the spark, fun, and desire you’ve been missing. ✨ How to create a summer vision for your relationship ✨ Why protecting your time is a radical act of love ✨ Why you must reconnect outside the bedroom first This episode is your invitation to say yes to pleasure, connection, and a summer that lights you both up. 🎧 Listen now and learn how to stop surviving and start flirting again. Hosted by Amanda Testa, sex, love, and relationship coach for women ready to reclaim their feminine fire. Learn more at amandatesta.com. 💖Bring Your Desire back with my Sensuall Self-Discovery Journal—a sacred space where you can embark on a journey of self-exploration, self-love, and embracing your sensuality. In this journal, we will delve deep into the beautiful tapestry of your desires, senses, and the unique expression of your sensual self. Get It HERE!

What if there’s nothing wrong with loving how you look—and everything wrong with a culture that shames you for it? In this fiery and empowering episode of Find Your Feminine Fire, I sit down with feminist author, speaker, and expert witness Leora Tanenbaum to unpack the truth behind slut shaming, sexual self-expression, and how we can raise the next generation with more freedom and less fear. Leora’s new book, Sexy Selfie Nation, is a bold call to stop blaming women and girls for the culture that sexualizes and punishes them. It’s time to stand up for autonomy, joy, and unapologetic expression. ✨ What nonconsensual sexualization is—and how it affects girls and women ✨ How slut shaming has evolved (and gotten worse) in the digital age ✨ Why it’s misguided to blame girls for their selfies or outfits ✨ How to talk to your kids about bodily autonomy without shame ✨ The joy, power, and politics of self-expression online 🎧 Listen now and explore what it means to truly own your image—and your voice. Hosted by Amanda Testa, sex, love, and relationship coach for women ready to reclaim their feminine fire. Learn more about Leora and her new book at leoratanenbaum.com 💖 Want personalized, confidential 1-1 support? Book a private coaching session → www.amandatesta.com/apply    

What if the key to more joy, connection, and beauty in your life isn't doing more—but doing it differently? In this week’s episode of Find Your Feminine Fire, I’m joined by award-winning author, poet, and spiritual teacher Judith Valente for a conversation that feels like a deep exhale. We explore what it means to live with intention, reverence, and presence in a culture that glorifies speed and productivity. Judith’s newest book, The Italian Soul, is a love letter to the Italian way of being—and a gentle invitation to slow down and savor your life. ✨ What Italians can teach us about beauty, rhythm, and slowing down ✨ How to resist the pressure of overachieving and reclaim rest ✨ The healing power of shared meals, sacred pauses, and daily rituals ✨ Why joy and reverence are not luxuries—but necessities ✨ Small shifts to bring more sacredness into your everyday life 🎧 Listen now and feel yourself soften, reconnect, and remember what really matters. Learn more about Judith and her retreats and books at judithvalente.com 💖 Want personalized, confidential 1-1 support? Book a private coaching session → www.amandatesta.com/apply  

What if betrayal didn’t have to be the end of your relationship? In this episode of Find Your Feminine Fire, I sit down with therapist and bestselling author Dr. Monique Thompson to talk about what it really takes to rebuild emotional safety and connection after trust has been broken. Whether you’re recovering from infidelity, navigating emotional betrayal, or just feeling distant in your relationship, Dr. Monique’s insights are incredibly powerful. With over two decades of experience walking couples through the fire and into deeper love, she shares the truth about what healing requires—and what makes it possible. ✨ What authentic consent really looks like (and why it’s often missing) ✨ How to tell the difference between trauma and betrayal ✨ The key mindset shift that makes healing possible ✨ Why "bad sex" might be the bridge back to connection ✨ What to do if your partner doesn’t want to work on the relationship Dr. Monique shares wisdom, compassion, and real talk on what healing can look like—without sugarcoating the process. This one is so powerful. Learn more about Dr. Monique Thompson and her work at doctormoniquethompson.com Listen now and learn what it takes to rebuild. 💖 Want personalized, confidential 1-1 support? Book a private coaching session → www.amandatesta.com/apply  

How to Choose Yourself and Live Your Yes with Megan Walrod What if everything you've been searching for starts with choosing yourself? In this week’s Find Your Feminine Fire podcast episode, I’m joined by author and coach Megan Walrod for a conversation that’s both deeply inspiring and refreshingly real. Megan’s new book, It’s Always Been Me, is part beach read, part soul retrieval—and it’s sparking so many women to break free from self-abandonment and reclaim their joy, power, and turn-on. Listen in now to discover:  ✨ Why letting go of good girl conditioning is the key to freedom ✨ The surprising connection between creativity, sexuality, and personal power ✨ How Megan’s alter ego (and main character!) helped her reclaim her sensuality ✨ How we can reconnect with desire after major life transitions ✨ A fresh take on the inner critic—and how it’s actually a doorway to power If you’ve ever felt stuck between doing what’s expected and honoring what you really want, this conversation is for you. Megan’s debut novel, It’s Always Been Me, is coming June 10th, 2025! Learn more here: meganwalrod.com/book ********* Get your free Sensual Self-Discovery Journal, Self-Love Meditation + Activation Ritual HERE to reconnect with your body, your desires, and your power — starting now.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by all the advice about what you “should” be doing to keep your relationship hot and healthy as you age, you’re not alone. In this fiery and refreshingly real episode, Amanda Testa shares why you actually can “half-ass” your way into better intimacy—and why tiny, consistent shifts often create far more connection than trying to Type-A your way into a perfect sex life. Amanda dives into the unrealistic pressures midlife women face (hello, anti-aging ads everywhere!), why perfectionism is the death of turn-on, and how to start rebuilding emotional and erotic connection even when resentment, busyness, and awkwardness have taken over. Because when love is still there? You don’t need to blow up your relationship. You just need a new approach—one that’s imperfect, real, and doable right now. Tune in to this episode, and you’ll discover: Why you can’t "Type A" your way to better sex (and what actually works instead) How to make micro-shifts that heal resentment and reignite intimacy A simple mindset shift that instantly improves the emotional atmosphere in your relationship How to use easy non cheesy connection rituals to bring warmth, playfulness, and touch back into your daily life Why giving yourself permission for awkward, messy, imperfect sex can be the gateway to true reconnection The power of celebrating small wins instead of fixating on what’s missing If you're ready to: Feel closer to your partner again (without needing a 10-day retreat to Italy) Rekindle your sexual confidence (even if it's been a while) And finally feel like you're BOTH feet in (instead of one foot out emotionally)... Then this episode is the reminder you’ve been waiting for. You don’t have to be perfect to create magic. You just have to be willing. Ready to feel alive, connected, and deeply turned on again? Let’s explore what’s possible together. Book your complimentary call here.

What if your lack of desire has nothing to do with hormones… and everything to do with swallowed rage? In this week’s Find Your Feminine Fire podcast episode, I’m diving deep into a truth I see over and over again with my clients: it’s not that you’re broken—it’s that you’ve been holding everything inside. That unspoken “no” becomes disconnection. That silenced scream becomes numbness. And all of it ends up buried under your desire. In this episode, I share: ✨ How repressed anger shuts down your turn-on ✨ The surprising connection between rage and erotic energy ✨ Why people-pleasing kills your libido ✨ How to work with sacred rage (without spiraling) ✨ A somatic practice you can try today to gently unlock your fire If you’ve been feeling flat, disconnected, or like desire has gone missing—this episode is for you. You’re not broken. You’re full of brilliance, aliveness, and power—just waiting to be felt again.   💖 Want personalized, confidential 1-1 support? Book a private coaching session → www.amandatesta.com/apply