Ep #361: You Don’t Need Trauma to Have Codependent, Perfectionist, or People-Pleasing Habits

#361: Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I don't have any real trauma, so why do I still struggle with people-pleasing?” Many people hear about emotional outsourcing and immediately disqualify themselves from the conversation because they didn't have what they consider a "bad enough" childhood. In this episode, I want to speak directly to those folks who recognize codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing behaviors in themselves but struggle to claim this truth because there was no obvious trauma, no catastrophe, no singular story that explains it all. Join me this week to learn why you don’t need to have experienced trauma to have codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing habits, and why cognitive insight alone rarely resolves these patterns. If you're tired of feeling like your struggles aren't "valid enough" for help, this episode is your permission slip. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/361 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #15: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today’s episode is tender, powerful, and so deeply human. It is a conversation about breaking free from people pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent habits, and what it truly means to come home to yourself. I’m joined by the radiant Monica Silva, a nurse, artist, parent, and graduate of the Anchored program. In this heartfelt conversation, Monica shares what led them to Anchored after years of chronic stress, overfunctioning, and trying to earn their worth through caretaking and doing it all. Their story is a beautiful example of what becomes possible when we start building safety within. Together, we explore what it means to listen to your body, access somatic self-trust, and let go of survival patterns that no longer serve you, all without rejecting the parts of you that helped you get this far. Monica offers gorgeous reflections on nervous system healing, conscious parenting, community care, and learning to make aligned decisions without needing a pros and cons list or anyone else’s approval. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, emotionally outsourced, or unsure how to trust your gut again, this conversation is a warm and affirming invitation back to your own center. It’s about honoring your capacity, reclaiming your worth, and becoming your own North Star, without guilt. So get cozy, pour a cup of something soothing, and come listen in on this beautiful exchange. Check out Monica’s art and support her work: https://www.irisengine.art Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

#360: This week, I'm diving into something that came up with a client recently who said, “Listen, I want to stop emotional outsourcing, but there is a part of me that feels really scared. Because I've been doing this my whole life and I'm realizing I don't really know who I am without these habits.” And wow, does that make so much sense.Join me on this episode as I paint you a picture of what's actually on the other side of emotional outsourcing (let me tell you, it is so freaking rad over here).Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/360 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Somatics to Reclaim Your Authentic Self is my newest free live webinar where you’ll learn how to connect to your authentic self through somatics and thought work. Join me live on January 12th, 2026, at 8pm ET or January 14th, 2026, at 12pm ET. Click here to register for free: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/authenticity

Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that illuminate just how deeply our nervous systems are wired to protect us, even when those protections feel confusing or frustrating. First, why do I feel anxious and disoriented after talking to my mom, even when the conversation seemed “fine”? We’ll explore how old relational patterns, emotional labor, and unspoken survival strategies can leave your body braced and buzzing long after you hang up. Next, we unpack what’s really going on when you pull your hair without realizing it. If you’ve ever felt ashamed about this, please know you are not broken. You’ll learn how body-focused behaviors like hair pulling can be unconscious attempts to regulate or ground when your system doesn’t have other tools. Finally, we explore what it means to be physically present, but mentally checked out. If you’ve felt like you’re watching your life from a distance or constantly lagging behind real time, this conversation on dissociation and functional freeze will help you understand why, and what you can do about it. You’ll walk away with insight, compassion, and nervous-system-centered practices to support your healing from the inside out. So grab your coziest blanket, pour a warm drink, and come settle into the tenderness with me. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

#359: Have you been taught that your safety, belonging, and love were conditional? That they could only be earned by contorting yourself into someone else's idea of enough?This week, I’m inviting you to step away from the pressure of resolutions and into a different kind of conversation for the new year. One that's about reclaiming the parts of you that have been quietly set aside. The parts of you that got buried under layers of self-doubt, fear, and the relentless pressure to be what others needed you to be. I'm talking here about your values: the core grounding principles that make you, you.Tune in today to discover how resolutions are often just another set of icky, exhausting expectations. You'll learn why kitten steps (not baby steps, which are enormous!) are the nervous system-friendly way to make sustainable change. Most importantly, you'll understand that you don't need fixing because you were never broken, and that this work isn't about self-improvement - it's about self-remembrance.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/359 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #13: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, the segment where we explore the soft and spacious path of healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.In today’s episode, I’m offering you a different kind of New Year’s message. Not one about resolutions or becoming a better version of yourself, but one about remembering who you already are. This episode is a love letter, a wish, a grounding reminder to carry with you as the year unfolds.Together, we’ll explore what it means to choose rest over hustle, to listen to your body before the world’s expectations, and to let go of the shame-fueled push for perfection. I’ll guide you through what it looks like to step into small acts of self-regard, to loosen the grip of old codependent and people-pleasing habits, and to build a relationship with yourself rooted in trust, honesty, and compassion.You’ll walk away with a deeper sense of what it means to source your worth from within, to honor your nervous system’s wisdom, and to meet yourself with tenderness in the moments that matter most.So grab something warm, take a deep breath, and let’s begin this year with love and intention... together.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

#358: This week, we're stepping into the winter solstice with a special gift - a collection of powerful moments from past episodes that capture the heart of what Feminist Wellness is all about.  Whether you're celebrating the holidays, marking Yule, or simply taking a breath in this midwinter moment, this episode invites you to pause and come home to yourself through what I call a kitten step: the smallest possible step toward growth, even smaller than a baby step (because those are way too big). Join me this week as I share some of the most transformative teachings from recent conversations about breaking free from the systems that keep us small. From understanding emotional outsourcing patterns to practical tools for reclaiming your emotional space as an act of resistance, these insights offer a path toward collective liberation that starts with the revolutionary act of being kind to yourself. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/358 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

Tenderoni Hotline #12: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today’s episode is a true gift, a clarifying, empowering, and deeply nerdy deep dive into all things perimenopause, hormones, and how to actually get the support you deserve.I’m joined by my dear friend and longtime women’s health advocate, Mariza Snyder, for a conversation that every midlife woman (and every clinician who serves them) needs to hear. Mariza is an author and speaker with over 17 years of experience, and the brilliant mind behind the Energized podcast.Together, we break down the science behind perimenopause, bust some harmful myths, and get into the nitty-gritty about progesterone, estrogen, testosterone, HRT, and beyond. We also talk about how to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office, why lab work isn’t everything, and how to navigate this hormonal transition with confidence, clarity, and compassion.Mariza shares from both her clinical expertise and personal story, and offers powerful tools to help you feel more like yourself again, rested, resourced, and rooted in your truth.This episode is rich with real talk, science-backed wisdom, and loving reminders that your symptoms are real and your care should match your lived experience. Whether you’re in your mid-30s or well into your 50s, this one is essential listening.So get cozy, grab your journal, and let’s get nerdy in the best way.More From Mariza:- Learn about Mariza’s book, The Perimenopause Revolution, here: http://drmariza.com/book - The Perimenopause Toolkit Bonus Page: https://peri-revolution.com/- Thriving in Perimenopause Survival Guide: https://drmariza.com/perimenopausesurvival- Learn more about Mariza at drmariza.comGot a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored

#357: How much time do you spend managing other people's emotions? You know what I mean – smoothing over conflict at family dinners, tiptoeing around your partner's mood, or endlessly reshuffling your schedule for coworkers. It's exhausting. But what if reclaiming your energy could be as simple as lighting a candle?I know it sounds too easy. Maybe even a little witchy woo. But here's the truth: rituals like this aren’t just nice. It’s necessary for your nervous system.Join me this week as I explore why so many of us have lost touch with ritual, share examples of practical rituals that create profound shifts, and explain how reclaiming it might be one of the most practical, revolutionary, and feminist things you can do in your healing journey.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/357Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Anchored!If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling. Click here to find out more: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchored Join Anchored