EPISODE 137: The 3 Psychological Reasons Why You Self-Sabotage (and How to Stop)

"It's just a few bites." "A little won't hurt."   Cute. Also total BS.   You're full. You know you're full. And yet there you are, shaving one more sliver off the brownie pan to "even it out" until the whole thing is gone.   Those are permission slip sentences. They sound so reasonable that your brain quits arguing and hands over the fork. Once in a while? Whatever. Three times a day? That's why the scale won't budge no matter how "good" you've been.   Coach Steph and I break down how one client caught hers early in the program, and what she does with the anxious few minutes after pushing her plate away.   In it, you'll hear: The five-word comeback that shuts down "a little won't hurt" Why saving the best bites for last sets you up to lick the plate clean How to end a meal so your brain actually gets the memo Why negotiating with yourself is a fight you lose every time, even when you win   Your homework, starting tonight: Write down the exact sentence your brain uses to justify a few more bites. Then ask it one question: Is this helping? (It's not.)   Plus, grab our free guide, 25 Mic-Drop Scripts workbook. It'll help you rewrite the 24 other sneaky permission slip sentences keeping you stuck, like "one bite won't hurt" and "I'll get back on track tomorrow."   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.   Be the first to know when we're opening the doors to our signature psychology-based weight loss program, Outsmart Overeating (and get exclusive access to early bird discounts and fast action bonuses), join the Interest List.      If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type

You've been "so good" for two weeks. Your jeans button without a fight. Then one night you're in the pantry with a box of Goldfish wondering what on earth just happened.   And no, it doesn't mean you don't want it enough. Your brain is doing exactly what it was built to do: drag you back to what feels familiar, even when familiar is miserable.   In this episode, Coach Steph and I dig into why you blow it right when things start working, and what to do about it starting today.   In it, you'll hear:   Why some women sabotage before anyone can compliment their weight loss The "pressure cooker" effect: once the jeans fit, the urgency disappears and "you deserve it" takes over How family beliefs like "we're all big eaters" can make losing weight feel like a threat to your relationships Your plan for the moment you head to the pantry after a "good" day The one sentence that strips a sabotage thought of its power: "That's just a thought I'm thinking"   Your brain will fight you on this. Now you'll know what to say back. Listen now.   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.   Be the first to know when we're opening the doors to our signature psychology-based weight loss program, Outsmart Overeating (and get exclusive access to early bird discounts and fast action bonuses), join the Interest List.      If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type    

"I don't want to deprive myself."   If you've ever said that right before going back for seconds, this episode is for you.   You wear a seatbelt every time you drive. You go to bed instead of watching one more episode. Neither of those feels like deprivation. So why does stopping when you still have food on your plate feel so wrong?   Coach Steph and I dig into why "deprivation" has become one of the sneakiest excuses for overeating, and how to stop letting it make your decisions for you. You'll leave with one phrase you can use at dinner tonight to stop eating past full without feeling robbed.   In it, you'll hear:   Why most of what you call deprivation is actually just delayed gratification How the seatbelt analogy turns food boundaries into an act of self-care The question Steph asks clients when saying "no" to food feels like a threat: "How old do you feel right now?" What a toddler obsessed with shiny red cars can teach you about cravings The simple swap our clients use instead of telling themselves "no"   Plus, grab our free guide, 25 Mic-Drop Scripts workbook. It'll help you rewrite the 24 other sneaky permission slip sentences keeping you stuck, like "one bite won't hurt" and "I'll get back on track tomorrow."   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.   Be the first to know when we're opening the doors to our signature psychology-based weight loss program, Outsmart Overeating (and get exclusive access to early bird discounts and fast action bonuses), join the Interest List.      If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type

You were on point all week. Then somebody brought cookies to the office, you had one, and the whole day was shot. So you finished the box and swore you'd start fresh Monday.   So why didn't you?   Coach Steph and I break down why calling foods "good" and "bad" keeps you stuck in the overeat-and-restart cycle, and what to do about it starting today.   In it, you'll hear:   The milkshake study showing one "broken" rule can make a dieter eat more than someone who's never dieted Why banning ice cream from the house makes it the only thing you can think about Steph's litmus test for spotting a food rule pretending to be a value How to bring your trigger foods back without it turning into a free-for-all   Skeptical? Good. Give it 30 days, then tell me it doesn't work.   👉 Grab our FREE Curb the Urge Toolkit right here.   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.   Be the first to know when we're opening the doors to our signature psychology-based weight loss program, Outsmart Overeating (and get exclusive access to early bird discounts and fast action bonuses), join the Interest List.      If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type

100 days is not a small number. It's enough time to build a habit, stress-test it during the holidays, and walk into January already ahead instead of starting from zero.   This week, Coach Steph and I get into how to use these last 100 days to build real, lasting change without the extreme overhaul that burns you out and ends in you quitting on your plan.   What we cover: Why one small habit does more than a total lifestyle overhaul when you're working with a shorter runway How to pick the one process goal that'll actually move you forward before New Year's Day A way to practice with foods you feel out of control around, instead of white-knuckling past them The "never miss twice" rule, so one off day doesn't turn into a lost month Using the holidays to practice instead of an excuse to wait   You don't need next year's plan figured out. You need one habit, and 100 days to integrate it into your life.   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.   Be the first to know when we're opening the doors to our signature psychology-based weight loss program, Outsmart Overeating (and get exclusive access to early bird discounts and fast action bonuses), join the Interest List.      If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type

You know that thing where you eat the "bad" food in secret, then act totally normal five minutes later like it didn't happen?   Coach Steph and I get into why smart, capable women do this.   Turns out there are two totally different personalities behind it: the "disciplined one" and the "I'll start Monday" type.   One is protecting an image of perfection they've spent years building and protecting.   The other already believes other people view them as "lazy" or "out of control," because they live in a larger body. They're terrified someone will catch them eat "bad" foods and it will prove the narrative true.   Both end up overeating behind closed doors.   In this episode, we discuss:.   Why restrictors binge big behind closed doors while permitters never stop with the small stuff What both personalities are actually protecting when they hide food, and it's not about willpower The childhood pattern behind both, and why neither is your fault Why eating the "off-limits" food in public, on purpose, is what breaks the secrecy for good   By the end, you'll know exactly which one you are and what to do differently tonight.   Not sure which one you are? Take the diet personality quiz linked below.   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.   Be the first to know when we're opening the doors to our signature psychology-based weight loss program, Outsmart Overeating (and get exclusive access to early bird discounts and fast action bonuses), join the Interest List.      If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type

You lost the weight. So why do you feel fatter than ever?   That's the real question behind a Reddit post Coach Steph and I dig into this week: a woman down 55 pounds who looks in the mirror and still sees the body she started with. If you've ever hit a goal weight and felt... nothing, or worse, this episode is for you.   We get into why your brain lags behind your body, why extreme diets set you up to feel out of control the second real food is back on the table, and why "just lose the weight" was never going to fix how you feel about yourself.   In it, you'll hear:   Why weight loss can make your body image worse, not better The exact mental script Steph used to quiet a decade of "I hate my thighs" How to tell if your current diet is setting you up to fail (hint: check the calorie count) A simple neutrality practice you can try in front of your mirror today Why the women who skip the body image work are the ones who end up back in our inbox a year later   You don't need another meal plan. You need a brain that finally allows you to feel comfortable in your own skin.   What would change if you believed your body wasn't a problem to solve?   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.   Be the first to know when we're opening the doors to our signature psychology-based weight loss program, Outsmart Overeating (and get exclusive access to early bird discounts and fast action bonuses), join the Interest List.      If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type

Doors to Outsmart Overeating are OPEN, y'all! Click here for program details.   Our signature program is live now through Thursday, and today's episode is the perfect place to start if you're on the fence.   Because here's the thing: two versions of you exist a year from now. Same starting point, completely different lives. The only thing that decides which one you become? What you do today.   In this episode, we get real about why your relationship with food feels stuck on repeat, and why more willpower isn't the fix. We're talking future self-continuity, the "marble in the jar" concept, and why decades of dieting have wired habits that aren't your fault, but are yours to change.   Here's what you'll walk away with:   Why your brain defaults to old patterns, and the one shift that interrupts it The "two versions of you" exercise to get clear on where you're headed How tiny decisions, not dramatic overhauls, actually rewire your identity around food Why visualizing "success" the wrong way keeps you stuck in willpower mode A daily practice you can start today to build evidence you're becoming someone new   This is a real, practical look at how change actually happens, one decision at a time.   Full program details avaiable in last week's episode and on the website here.   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.     If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type

It's 9pm. You told yourself today would be different. And here you are, standing in the kitchen, eating something you swore off, already planning how you'll "start over" tomorrow. Again.   This doesn't happen because you lack willpower. It's what happens when your diet is so extreme your brain eventually rebels. Feeling deprived from your dieting rules is what's driving the binge, not the other way around.   Coach Steph Miramontes and I break down Outsmart Overeating, our six-week program that helps women stop binge and emotional eating for good, plus exactly what's inside it.   In this episode:   The 3 types of women who struggle most with food (you'll probably clock yourself in one) Why restriction, not lack of discipline, is what's actually driving the bingeing A week-by-week look at the program: from the MindShift Method in week one, to breaking the binge/emotional eating cycle in week three, to tackling self-sabotage in week five What you get each week: live group coaching, 1:1 attention, and a 100% money-back guarantee The fear hiding underneath "what if I gain weight if I stop dieting"   Plus, the doors open for our next Outsmart Overeating group August 31 - September 3rd. Click here to join the Interest List. No obligation to join, just first access to the program details and exclusive fast action bonuses.   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.     If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type

Why does discipline seem to work everywhere else in your life except with dieting? Why do you white-knuckle a diet for months, then binge on the one thing you "weren't allowed" to have? Why does getting "back on track" never actually stick?   Agne asked herself those exact questions for 20 years. Cabbage soup diets, keto, six-day CrossFit weeks, a coach who told her maybe her body was just built to stay stuck.   She joined Outsmart Overeating in 2023 and shared her story on the podcast in fall 2024. Listen to that episode here.   Now she's back, two years later, with the real answer: the food rules were never the problem. Her thinking was.   This episode breaks down exactly what changed and how, so you can start applying it today:   Why you can't diet your way out of a mindset problem How rigid, perfectionistic rules create the exact bingeing they're meant to prevent What it actually looks like to loosen your grip on control without your life falling apart Why needing support again after progress isn't failure (and what to do when it happens)   If you're tired of "getting back on track," start here.   Doors open for our next Outsmart Overeating group August 31 - September 3rd. Click here to join the Interest List. No obligation to join, just first access to the program details and exclusive fast action bonuses.   You can also connect with Leslie & Steph on Instagram.     If you want to learn how to not-only lose weight, but also lose the struggle along side it, you can get started by taking the Weight Loss Psychology Quiz: Discover Your Diet Personality Type