084 | The Audacity to Be Self-Obsessed: Loving Without Losing Yourself

You can be the woman everybody can count on and still feel like your own life isn't reflecting what you actually want. You make room for everybody else, consider how your decisions will affect everyone around you, and find yourself putting your own wants and needs on the back burner. And maybe you've gotten so used to living that way that you haven't stopped to consider what it would look like to make different choices.In this minisode, I'm sharing three journal prompts as part of The Audacity to Center Yourself series to help you take an honest look at where you are, the beliefs that may be keeping you from having more, and what needs to change if you're ready to make yourself a priority.I want you to really sit with these questions. Look at your relationships, your commitments, how you spend your time, and the decisions you're making. And before you close your journal, identify two things you can start doing differently. Because recognizing that you need to make yourself a priority is one thing. Actually changing the way you live is where the work begins.Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

How much of your self-worth have you handed over to men? Think about how easily a man's attention can make you feel beautiful, desirable, and confident, and how quickly his lack of interest can have you questioning yourself. Maybe you've found yourself editing your personality, putting your life on hold for a relationship, or trying to be the woman who finally gets an emotionally unavailable man to choose her. Sis, it's time to take some of that power back. In this episode, Ashlee Hope explores what it actually looks like to become a woman who doesn't need male validation. You can enjoy men, dating, being desired, and the possibility of a beautiful partnership without depending on any of those things to feel good about yourself.We're getting into five shifts that change how you approach men, relationships, and your own sense of worth:Make decisions based on what you want: Stop putting your life on hold while preparing for a relationship or trying to become more desirable.Stop using the male gaze as your mirror: Recognize where you're editing your personality, opinions, appearance, or ambition to appeal to men.Separate romantic attention from personal worth: Learn to enjoy being desired without treating someone's interest or rejection as a measure of your value.Stop making men the center of your world: Build a life filled with friendships, interests, goals, and experiences that excite you outside of romance.Stop trying to be the exception: Recognize when proving you're different enough to change an emotionally unavailable man's mind becomes another form of validation seeking.If you're working on decentering men, building self-worth, breaking people-pleasing patterns, or learning to stop seeking external validation, this conversation will give you plenty to reflect on. Ashlee also leaves you with a journal prompt to help you recognize and affirm the parts of yourself you've been waiting for someone else to acknowledge. Because being chosen can feel good, but you shouldn't need to be chosen to know your worth.Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

What if life gets even better than you imagined? Not just in the ways you’ve been working toward, but in ways you couldn’t have planned, predicted, or even thought to ask for. In this quick message, Ashlee Hope is reminding you to let the good in. Stay open to unexpected opportunities, deeper love, joyful experiences, supportive relationships, and the possibility that your life can unfold in ways that exceed your expectations. You don’t need to know how everything will happen to believe that more goodness is available to you.This is your reminder to stop letting what you’ve experienced so far determine what you’re willing to believe is possible for your future. And when good things come your way, let yourself receive them. Enjoy what’s here without questioning whether you deserve it or worrying about when it might end. If you’re learning to trust what’s ahead, embrace abundance, or open yourself to more joy, love, and possibility, take a few minutes to let this message settle in. God, thank you for showing me how good it can get. Thank you more, please.Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

How much of your life have you spent wondering what men think of you? Whether you're attractive enough, feminine enough, young enough, independent but not too independent, or the kind of woman a man would want to commit to? Sis, it's exhausting trying to measure up to a standard that keeps changing depending on who's doing the measuring. In this episode, Ashlee explores what it means to stop seeking male validation and start making decisions based on what feels right for you. Drawing from her own experiences, she challenges the pressure women face to shape themselves around male preferences and asks a bigger question: What could you do with your life if you stopped spending so much energy trying to be desirable and started focusing on what you actually desire?In this episode, we're getting into:Where the need for male approval can begin: How learning to make decisions for yourself, rather than to earn someone else's approval, can shape the way you move through relationships and life.The pressure to be what men want: From dating rules and online red-pill conversations to expectations about age, femininity, independence, and being “wife material,” why do we give so much weight to men's opinions of women?The cost of constantly trying to be desirable: How monitoring your appearance, personality, choices, and behavior through the lens of male approval can pull you away from your own wants and priorities.How to reclaim your time and energy: Imagine what you could build, experience, explore, and enjoy when you're no longer preoccupied with proving yourself to men.Wanting love without needing male validation: You can desire a relationship, enjoy romantic attention, and want to be loved without allowing those things to dictate how you see yourself.A reflection prompt to help you center yourselfThis is Part 4 of The Audacity to Center Yourself, a series about giving yourself permission to prioritize your YOURSELF, your desires, and the life you actually want to live. And this conversation is just the beginning. In Part 2 of this male validation discussion, we'll explore what it looks like to put this into practice in your dating life, your decisions, and the way you respond when a man isn't interested. If you're new to the series, start with Episode 83 and work your way through the conversations.You can want to be loved and appreciated without making someone else's approval the measure of your worth. You get to have your own opinions, preferences, and standards. You get to make choices because they feel right for you, not because you're trying to attract someone, keep someone interested, or prove you're worthy of being chosen. You have a whole life to live, sis. Don't spend so much of it trying to be desirable that you forget to enjoy being yourselfCheck Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

What if you could be grateful for what you have and STILL ask God for more? More love, more money, more joy, more freedom, more abundance, and a life that feels good to you. Girl, you do not have to choose between gratitude and desire! In this Available for More minisode, we’re doing Thank You, More Please, a guided gratitude practice and abundance affirmation exercise to help you appreciate the blessings in your life while opening yourself up to receive more. If you’re a woman who wants to dream bigger, strengthen your faith, embrace abundance, and stop feeling guilty for wanting more, this practice is for you.In this episode, we’re speaking gratitude and welcoming more goodness into every area of life, including:Love and relationships: Healthy love, genuine friendships, and deeper connection.Money and financial abundance: Increasing income, financial peace, and more freedom to enjoy life.Health and happiness: A healthy body, a peaceful mind, everyday joy, and more ease.Faith and possibility: Trusting the Most High, expanding your capacity to receive, and giving thanks in advance for what’s on its way.Bookmark this episode and return whenever you need a gratitude practice, abundance affirmations, positive affirmations, or a reminder that you can be thankful for your current blessings while still calling in more. Get comfortable, stay open to receiving, and speak these words in agreement wherever they resonate with you. Thank you for what’s here, thank you for what’s coming, and thank you, more please!Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

You can be a good woman and still be selfish. If you’re the woman who is constantly considering everyone else, saying yes before you’ve checked in with yourself, or putting your own wants at the bottom of the list, this episode is for you. We’re talking about what it actually means to be a selfish woman, why considering yourself can feel so uncomfortable, and what changes when you stop making yourself the automatic sacrifice. If you’ve been searching for how to stop people pleasing, how to choose yourself without guilt, how to stop overgiving, how to put yourself first, or how to prioritize yourself without becoming inconsiderate, press play. This is about centering yourself without becoming disconnected from the people you love. You can care deeply, support others, compromise and still give yourself a real seat at the table in your own life. Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

You said you wanted the job. You said you wanted the relationship. You said this was the city, the lifestyle, the plan. And now you’re not so sure. But instead of admitting you’ve changed your mind, you keep trying to convince yourself to want what you already know you don’t. If you’re a woman in your 30s or 40s who has spent her life being responsible, making the “right” decisions, and following through even when something no longer feels right, this minisode is for you.Because you can change your mind. You can get new information, grow, evolve, and decide that something you once wanted isn’t what you want anymore. In this minisode, we’re talking about changing your mind, choosing again, and letting go of the guilt that comes with changing direction or disappointing people. You don’t have to stay in the job, relationship, lifestyle, or version of yourself you chose years ago just because you already chose it. You’re allowed to choose again.Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

If you love deeply but have ever looked up and realized you’ve become more interested in your relationship than in your own life, this episode is for you. Maybe you’ve lost yourself in love before, spent too much energy trying to be chosen, or become so tuned into your partner’s needs, moods, and inner world that you stopped paying attention to your own. The Audacity to Be Self-Obsessed: Loving Without Losing Yourself is a conversation about staying connected to yourself while still allowing love and partnership to matter deeply.We’re talking about what healthy self-obsession actually looks like, why loving yourself doesn’t mean you shouldn’t need your partner, and the difference between needing someone and needing them to make you whole. This episode explores self-love, self-connection, healthy relationships, emotional independence, self-worth, and how to stop losing yourself in relationships while still being a lover girl who wants intimacy, partnership, and deep love.Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

We've gotten really good at talking about what women need to decenter: men, relationships, work, other people's expectations, the constant need to be needed.And those conversations matter. But what happens after you move everything else out of the center?This is where I want to take the conversation.The Audacity to Center Yourself is about learning to make you the reference point in your own life without becoming selfish, unavailable, or disconnected from the people you love.Because you can be deeply in love and still have a strong sense of self. You can care about other people's needs without abandoning your own. You can be a devoted partner, friend, daughter, mother, or professional without disappearing into the role.And sometimes losing yourself isn't obvious. Your life can look good on paper while you've become disconnected from your own wants, decisions, identity, and happiness.In this first episode, we're opening up the bigger question behind the decentering conversation: What would change if you stopped spending so much energy figuring out what to move out of the center and started learning how to stay there yourself?If you've been thinking about decentering men, choosing yourself, setting boundaries, building self-trust, or breaking patterns of self-abandonment, this conversation is a great place to start.Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!

After 80+ episodes and more than a year of weekly conversations, I’m officially putting in my podcast PTO. 😂This is a quick check-in about giving yourself permission to step away, enjoy your life, and trust that everything you’ve built won’t fall apart because you took some time for yourself.If you’ve been waiting for a sign to use the vacation days, close the laptop, take the trip, clear the calendar, or give yourself a little room to breathe, consider this episode as your sign.Available for More will be back September 1st. Until then, you have 81 episodes to binge!Check Out My Current Offers Next Group Healing: Financial EaseGet On My Priority List for Mentorship & CoachingJoin My FREE Journaling PracticeA Free Way To Support The Podcast: Leave a written review of Available For More on Apple Podcasts, then email a screenshot to [email protected] with “Review” in the subject line. As a thank you for your support, Ashlee will send you her "Soft Life Frequency" subliminal audio...If you'd like to support Ashlee's work, you can leave a Love Donation HERE. Every contribution is deeply appreciated and I pray that generosity is returned to you tenfold!