Family of Origin: Rules, Roles, and Repair - Ep 685

Dr. Reedy explains how boundaries are synonymous with self-care. He explains that boundaries set from a codependent context are meant to change others while boundaries set from a secure sense of self are set to take care of one’s self. He explains how consequences, under the umbrella of boundaries, are an attempt to change behaviors in others. And finally, if we set boundaries to change others we are implicitly suggesting that serenity is found outside of us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses whether going home for the holidays is the best thing for us. He discusses the guilt, shame and obligation that’s “baked-in” to us when it comes to visiting family or maintaining relationships we have outgrown. He doesn’t offer advice but rather takes the audience through the questions and the thinking that goes into our relationships. He explains that a task in attachment is to let go of others when they need to be somewhere else and how many people feel compelled to spend time with family and others because of unconscious obligations. The nature of the parent-child dynamic is discussed and how it can be turned upside-down when children feel the need to take care of parents’ emotional well-being and egos. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses how therapists (specifically analytical and attachment-based therapists) may think about religion. He explores the function of religion as a way to relate to life and to the world. He talks about how disconnection from God is synonymous with disconnection from ourselves. He talks about our relationship with fear and how if we avoid the feelings of uncertainty and the pain that comes from living, and trade those in for certainty and control, we are guilty of spiritual bypass. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy explains that therapy deals mainly is aimed at reducing shame, creating safety, and lessening resistance. Therapy is a different way of being with someone, so they feel safe enough to lower their defenses. He suggests that we can learn from therapy and apply principles of dealing with resistance to all our relationships and to ourselves. He discusses how common resistance is in our work. He talks about how to engage others so as not to provoke resistance and how our own resistance, rooted in shame, is the bulk of what therapy treats. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses the difference between therapy and a podcast. He explains that ultimately, we must face what is presenting itself to us in our lives. We must go in and through the pain and difficulty to discover news resources that lie within all of us. He talks about how we avoid parts of ourselves and repress feelings, characteristics, or traits in order to fit in and how the problems that bring us to therapy are a call to the hero’s adventure.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

De. Reedy discusses the young adult stage of development. He talk, talks about brain development and the tasks that young adult adults are negotiating. He also talks about the parallel journey that the parents of young adults are also traversing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy takes questions from audience members and live participants of the Finding You Inner Circle. He talks about how un-owned codependency becomes a burden to those close to us, how to navigate a relationship where we are repeatedly betrayed, and how to respond when a child is baiting the parent to react. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discuss a shift in consciousness that gives a new context for tools. He explains that we must shift our thinking about self and relationships in the parenting context for boundaries to make sense. He explains how myth and story help to illustrate this shift in consciousness.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy addresses the two main tasks of intimacy – sharing and listening. He talks about the capacity required to deeply hear and listen to another. He explains that talking tends to be a taking thing and listening requires healing and significant capacity. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discuss the impact of family of origin roles and rules on our psyche. He talks about how we can repair wounds and trauma we experienced. He emphasized the need for overt and explicit communication rather than covert and implicit messaging. He explains how therapy, sitting with a different perspective, can shift the ideas we have sometimes unconsciously internalized. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.