Disappointment and Your Brain - Why Do Self-Sabotage When We Feel the Big "D"

Welcome back to another episode of Eat Girl Eat. In this episode, we’re discussing how our habits come out on full display when we’re burnt out or stressed. It can feel like the worst time for our habits to come out to play, but the truth is this is something almost everybody goes through under difficult circumstances. When you’re experiencing this for yourself, practicing self-compassion is key. It can be tempting to jump right into trying to change, but accepting whatever shows up without beating yourself up about it is a much more freeing approach. Topics covered in this episode: The common thing that happens when we hit a point of burnout. A sign that you can give yourself permission to take a break. How our mindset shifts when we’re tired and why it’s normal. Why it’s important to practice self-compassion. Natural reactions to thought storms and added stress. Knowing what you're deserving of and honoring that. The human needs we have that remain consistent over time. Why it’s important we understand our needs and nurture them. How removing self-judgement allows us to better meet our needs. A reminder that we can make it through every moment, even the tough ones. Why it’s easy to get caught up in our minds when times are tough. Our unconscious expectations and why they don’t really exist. How we can remind ourselves that there really are no problems. The ways animals teach us to be present in our own circumstances. What to give yourself right now if you can’t go on holiday from your problems.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula Email Sarah: [email protected] Email Maria: [email protected]

Today’s episode of Eat Girl Eat is all about the big D: disappointment. This is a topic that has been coming up in conversation very often recently. Disappointment is a part of everyday life, and we all feel it when we have an experience that doesn’t meet our expectations, or when we don’t meet someone else’s expectation of us. Any strong emotion that stirs inside us creates energy that needs to be directed somewhere, and such is the case with disappointment. “Disappointment” is a loaded word and emotion. Learning how to release the emotions in a healthy way is vital to healing the relationships you have with others and with yourself. Topics covered in this episode: Why fear of disappointing can be so misleading. Why using the word “disappointment” itself gives it more weight. How assumptions play into our experience. Why everyone experiences disappointment differently. The importance of recognizing it is just a word. How our own narratives play into creating meaning. How disappointment plays into eating and weight. What to do when you get caught up in the meaning. Why you don’t have to self-sabotage when you have negative feelings. How to look at disappointment objectively. How trying to avoid disappointment drives unhelpful behavior. Why setting expectations can set you up for disappointment. Why you should release yourself from meeting others' expectations. What to consider if you disappoint another person. How to recognize choice as a pathway out of struggle.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula Email Sarah: [email protected] Email Maria: [email protected]

We all know the old saying, “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Well, what if the lemons life hands us are rotten? What if we are unable to make a good situation out of a bad one? This is a theme that has been popping up in the community with frequency lately. This is often when our disordered eating and other maladaptive coping mechanisms show up and try to take over. The question is, when life hands you rotten lemons, what can you do instead? The truth is that we don’t always have to make a bad situation good, and that a lot of our healing can take place when we learn to accept our circumstances instead of trying to change them. Topics covered in this episode: The power of simply acknowledging the rotten lemons. Why acceptance of the situation can be so healing. How to identify rotten lemons appearing in your own in life. Why these experiences are unavoidable. Where they often tend to show up. How rotten lemons can manifest in your mood. How your narratives about the lemons can hold you back. Why it’s so hard to not get pulled into “fix it” mode. Why adding sugar isn’t always the answer to the problem. The role of showing empathy to yourself and others. Why it’s actually okay to have a pity party sometimes. The value in making space to feel your emotions. How showing yourself grace makes space for curiosity. Why setting expectations can be self-sabotaging. How this all relates to poor coping habits. The importance of being comfortable with discomfort.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula Email Sarah: [email protected] Email Maria: [email protected]

Today’s episode is an enlightening one for those impacted by stressful triggers that lead to unhelpful, food-related coping mechanisms. Maria just got back from a three-week trip in Italy, a country known for its attractive culinary landscape. Maria also took a trip back in 2014 to Italy, but returned this time with a completely different mindset. While she was more restrictive with her diet in 2014, when she returned home she found her jeans didn’t fit anyways. This time around she decided that she would be accepting of herself and respond to her experiences with curiosity instead of restriction. Topics covered in this episode: How being mentally flexible will increase the joy of travel. The number of hours a day that Maria spent eating and drinking. How lifestyle can affect the eating patterns in other cultures. Why food freedom doesn’t always mean gaining weight. Where Maria had the best lasagna of her life. How food curiosity helps you embrace the small details. Why focusing on restricting can be self-sabotaging. How to trust your body and enjoy the sensory experience. Why recognizing your natural adaptability supports your growth. How fighting against the current can lead to maladaptive coping. Why you should make space for imperfections in your bliss. What you can do if you find yourself getting caught up. How our minds distract from stress with food or restriction. How to reframe your thinking to give you a more objective experience.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula

On this episode of Eat Girl Eat, we’re continuing the conversation around vacation. Specifically, navigating thoughts and conversations around your body and food during your summer holidays. While difficulties may arise, it’s also a great opportunity to try the “so what” approach. So what about how your body looks? So what about the clothes you wear? So what to the family members who try to have a say in what you eat or don’t eat? Learning to assertively respond to unwelcome comments can help you get through the experiences that could come up for you on holiday. Topics covered in this episode: The questions Sarah and Maria have received around vacations. What our summer holidays shine a spotlight on. An easy way to approach (and avoid) unhelpful conversations. Why you shouldn’t worry about saying or doing the right things all the time. The types of approaches that may or may not work for you. How grounding yourself can help you deal with vacation obstacles. Our limited understanding of the human experience. Why it’s important to respond in ways that feel right for you. The way other people’s minds become externally vocal on holiday. Why we don’t need to be best friends with our minds. What to do with the parts of this episode that resonate with you. How getting caught up in our own perspective can trip us up. The way our minds tend to generate problems (and why it doesn’t matter). The power of simply saying “so what.” What you might find when you step into the moment on your holiday.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula

Around this time of year, many people are preparing to take a vacation. This can bring up a lot of anxiety and worry about how they’ll manage situations as they arise on holiday, whether that’s internal thoughts, habits, or experiences with others. Being out of routine can make you feel a loss of control. But in the midst of it all, you’re still always okay. It feels risky, but it can also be manageable if you take it one step at a time. The truth is we don’t need control as much as we might feel we do. Topics covered in this episode: Why people often seek support in their relationship with food pre and post vacation. How food struggles on a trip can present themselves. How our stories can influence our holiday experiences. Why opening up to experiences as they come can be useful in navigating stress. Recognizing opportunities to be in the moment on holiday. Why letting go of routine can feel difficult (even though we’re designed for change). The idea that we don’t actually need control in our lives. What our mind says we need versus what we actually need. The human tendency to personalize what’s not personal at all. How our behavior gives power to our thoughts. How we all practice projection on some level and what this means. The human desire for repetitiveness and consistency. The importance of daring to step into free flow, especially while on holiday.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula

Today we have a unique episode for listeners. We share a live coaching session of Sarah and Maria to provide a window into a real, raw, vulnerable experience so that you can see how this type of coaching unfolds. This episode will show you that your mind dictates your emotions, not your circumstances. Maria recently moved, and it was a bigger undertaking than she had anticipated. The many renovations being done, coupled with having everything stored in a pod in the driveway, led to feelings of overwhelm. The compulsion to relieve the anxiety by taking some kind of action instead of being with the feelings is the same one that makes us feel like we need to go to the gym or engage in other unhelpful behaviors. Topics covered in this episode: Why we push ourselves to such unhealthy limits. Balancing the needs of your body with the needs of your mind. Why your mind leans into judging your actions. How maladaptive mental scripts are created. What you can do to interrupt the maladaptive scripts. Why avoiding your feelings only leads to even more disharmony. How a coach can help you see your thoughts objectively. The significance of unpacking the stories we tell ourselves. How to identify our patterns of thinking, and what you can do to interrupt them. What is behind the obsessive thoughts that hijack our minds. How to accept the experience without changing it. How “shoulds” and rules get in your way. Why our minds' intentions are always good.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula

This episode continues on with our exploration of acceptance. Specifically, the stickiness that exists in the space between acknowledging that acceptance is the destination, and the confusion behind how to actually get there. This is not something you do once, but rather an ongoing challenge to face on a daily basis. What do you do in the process to move toward acceptance of the weight you are at; of the body you are in? How do you move toward the goal? It can be frustrating or discouraging to navigate the space in between. Once you learn the tools to help you move forward, you can endure the emotions that come up and then let things go to let things flow. Topics covered in this episode: Why acceptance does not equal complacency or happiness. Learning to create space for whatever is right now. The value in embracing the messiness. How shame and guilt hold you back from acceptance. Acknowledging it’s okay not to be okay. Opening up to what the moment offers you. Where the struggle really comes from. Understanding all emotions are a part of the human experience. Using curiosity as a pathway to continue forward. Why your habits create a mind that is quick to judge. How your mind is trying to protect you. Recognizing the agency that we have over our behaviors. What to do when your mind jumps into high gear. How overanalyzing your experiences keeps you stuck.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula

We’re continuing the discussion from our previous episode about acceptance. Resisting change and the emotions that come with acceptance can lead to difficulty. Even if where we’re at right now isn’t where we truly feel we need to be, we also must understand that we can’t change the past. No matter which way you look at it, there are just some situations where you have to relinquish some control. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stay where you are, it just means you aren’t focused on resisting your emotions or circumstances. Allow yourself to get curious about dropping the struggle on what is and see what unfolds for you. Topics covered in this episode: What was covered in the first episode of this series. An example of how even animals show resistance to change. Why stepping into a place of acceptance and curiosity matters. What resistance looks like and how it can impact our lives. What happens when we become preoccupied with what could be. How being in the moment helps us gain perspective. The thing that holds us back from being in our experience fully. Where most struggle and discomfort comes from. What the mind can show you versus what your intuition shows you. How opening up to emotions changes our habits and behaviors. What you’re invited to notice and open up to about your deeper knowing. The innate resilience you have inside, whether you notice it or not.   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula

Do you feel comfortable just letting things be as they are? That’s acceptance, and the reality is it looks differently for everyone, especially in the face of chaos or change. When in unfamiliar or uncertain circumstances, you may feel a need to control external events. However, what you’re likely trying to actually control is your emotional state. We all become accustomed to seeing life one way, and shifting to a new perspective isn’t easy. Learning to trust your body’s intuition and intelligence is key—our bodies are always able to manage what they need. There will be bumps in the road, but taking the time to relearn listening to our bodies is a great way to practice acceptance. Topics covered in this episode: How Maria is dealing with a current change in her life. The degree to which we actually have control in our lives. Examples of routine disruptions that feel most difficult when we try to hold onto control. Why we often seek to control our emotional states, positively or negatively. Ways to manage when our inner worries pop up. What happens when we learn to trust our bodies. What is actually possible for us when we relinquish control. How our bodies act unscientifically, and what it means. What we innocently learn when we try to keep control over food. The beauty in learning to let go of seeking answers. A homework assignment you can practice this week. Why beating yourself up isn’t the answer (and what to do instead).   Sarah’s website: www.wellofbeing.co.uk Join the Food Freedom Formula: https://go.m-path.ca/foodfreedomformula