The Eternal Sunshine of the Forever Chemicals Edition - Week 27 - 2025

In a hilarious and intricate farce set in The Hague, Geert Wilders plays a man who wakes up every morning unable to remember if he still supports his own asylum bill. Another victim of Wilders' amnesia, singer Douwe Bob, has to flee the country when Dilan Yesilgöz forms a strike partnership with a pro-Israeli football hooligan. PFAS "forever chemicals" are set to join nitrogen compounds and CO2 on the list of pollutants that the Netherlands firmly resolves to do nothing about. And in sport, the men's cricket and women's football teams have busy weeks ahead, while the Wimbledon dream is already over for the Dutch hopefuls.

Mark Rutte's plan to treat Donald Trump like Orange royalty paid dividends at the Nato summit in The Hague. Specifically 5% dividends, as the 32 nations agreed to raise their defence spending with a definition of "vital infrastructure" as elastic as Rutte's spine. Geert Wilders' PVV party threatens to sabotage its own asylum bill in protest at the other parties undermining Marjolein Faber's "brilliant" plans. Housing minister Mona Keijzer believes darker hallways and even steeper staircases are the answer to the housebuilding crisis. And a creeping horror is back to terrorise the nation's oak trees.

The election campaign gathers pace as Dilan Yesilgöz goes on the attack against GroenLinks-PvdA while also slamming the door on another coalition with Geert Wlders' PVV. NSC narrowly avoids descending into chaos as one of the contenders in the race to lead the party into electoral oblivion drops out. Meanwhile, Dick Schoof secures a mandate to raise defence spending ahead of next week's Nato summit with the support of Frans Timmermans. Amsterdam city council is criticised for letting disinformation thrive following the hit-and-run attacks on Israeli football fans in November. Fewer Dutch adults are smoking and drinking, but hiking cigarettes prices is not persuading hardcore smokers to stop. Scheveningen gears up for a vintage raw herring season, and there's news of yet another last-minute bailout package for the crisis club Vitesse Arnhem.

Eleven months after Dick Schoof's cabinet took office and 10½ months later than expected, the Dutch cabinet has collapsed after Geert Wilders pulled out of the four-way right-wing coalition. We look at how he managed to stir up a full-scale row over immigration with three parties that agreed with him and how the other parties were left wrong footed. And we ask how voters will respond to Wilders' gamble in the upcoming elections – whenever they may be.

The capital's 750th birthday celebrations get off to a chaotic start, while Ajax lose the title and their Italian coach in the space of a week. Foreign affairs minister Caspar Veldkamp has more success in Europe, forcing the EU to investigate Israel's aid blockade in Gaza. Auditors skewer the government's spending plans, while the IMF sticks the knife into the koopkrachtplaatjes. And was a motley crew of Dutch bikers and Romanian mobsters behind the Drents Museum heist?

Pressure mounts on the Dutch cabinet to denounce Israel's destruction of Gaza, with the mayor of Amsterdam, universities and even PVV voters growing increasingly critical. Scientists warn that Donald Trump's cuts to academic research are hampering their ability to work with American colleagues. The Netherlands could face water shortages as climate change and economic pressures take their toll. No green room drama for the Dutch at Eurovision this year as Claude safely makes it through to the final. And Ajax's NSC-like disintegration sets up a grandstand finish to the Eredivisie season.

Foreign minister Casper Veldkamp finally draws a red line over Israel's intervention in Gaza, but will it be the fault line that ruptures the coalition? The conflict is also the focus of protests at ceremonies to mark the 80th anniversary of the end of the Second World War. But at least one of the coalition parties has something to celebrate, as MEPs vote to downgrade the protected status of the wolf. And the close-knit fishing community of Urk launches a scheme to find former residents who were lost at sea.

As the economy cools, the cabinet burns through its green energy fund to bail out fossil fuel users and torch its climate change targets. The debate on who should be included in the May 4 commemorations flares up again as an alternative ceremony to include the victims of Gaza is condemned by some politicians. Geert Wilders claims victory as his asylum minister's policies apparently drive down refugee numbers in the whole of Europe before they've even been implemented. Indoor football is rocked by accusations of match fixing, Ajax blunder their way to the Eredivisie title and there's a suspicious death in Emmen zoo to get your teeth into.

The passing of Pope Francis managed to put the king's birthday birthday celebrations and Pieter Omtzigt's dramatic departure from politics in the shade this week. The coalition leaders emerged from a marathon negotiation session with a spring budget deal designed to please everyone except the taxpayers. Intelligence services accuse Iran of planning a botched assassination, Russia of sabotaging European elections and China of industrial espionage. And Belgian goalkeeper is the toast of Deventer as the Eagles swoop to a famous cup final victory.

An Easter egg scramble begins in The Hague as ministers try to grab a morsel of the €8 billion available in his spring budget statement. The Binnenhof's history as a medieval palace turns out to be even longer and richer than we suspected. Academics at Dutch universities face extra screening to prevent them stealing scientific knowledge, while students are warned about a rise in rent scams. Dutch badminton players fear for the future of the sport after its funding is slashed. And a coot's nest that became a treasure trove of Amsterdam trash is being moved to a museum in The Hague.