The Power of Flexible Thinking in Divorce Negotiations

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Today’s conversation is going to be nothing but a naked plea for all divorce coaching professionals to stop trying to do this on your own.Successful divorce coaches understand the value of seeking professional development, connection and feedback to continually improve their coaching practice.What a lot of people fail to realize is that divorce coaching is a continuous process. It requires constant development. It takes a lot of time, energy, money, and deep inner work to build your practice and make your business work.We dive into all the reasons you must be part of a community to achieve the success you're looking for. And we review all the ways DCA® offers the support you need to keep growing.Free online DCA Coach CommunityFree Bi-monthly Lunch & Learn EventsCase Consultation GroupSpecialty TrainingsThe bottom line ... If you’re struggling to build the coaching practice of your dreams, stop trying to do it alone. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)The journey of divorce and the story of The Wizard of Oz share striking parallels, making the classic tale a powerful metaphor for the emotional and personal transformation that occurs during and after a divorce. We explore the power of divorce coaching through this timeless story and uncover how, just like Glinda the Good Witch, we as coaches help our clients navigate their own Yellow Brick Roads, overcome obstacles, and realize they’ve had the power to make decisions and create change all along.Instead of trusting themselves, clients often start out with the belief that a lawyer, the legal system, or a judge (The Wizard) will provide the answers for them. As the story unfolds, we realize that the yellow brick road actually represents the journey that Dorothy must take to realize her own power. And she meets fascinating characters (scarecrow, tin man, and cowardly lion) who represent the parts of herself she needs to discover and develop in order to reach their goals.Dorothy’s journey isn’t just about reaching Oz—it’s about realizing that she had the power to go home all along. And isn’t that exactly what we want for our clients? Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)If you’re just starting out, you might be wondering, ‘Where do I find colleagues to connect with? How do I meet potential clients? And what organizations should I join to grow my business?In this episode, we give some insight about networking with other professionals - what to look for, what works, and what’s a waste of your time and money.As a divorce coach, your network is one of your most valuable assets. Unlike other fields where clients might find you through advertising alone, a huge part of your success will come from referrals—whether that’s from attorneys, therapists, financial professionals, or even other coaches. Strong networking helps you:Establish credibility in your fieldGain client referralsBuild relationships with other professionals who can complement your servicesStay updated on industry trends and best practicesBy joining the right organizations, making meaningful connections, and staying engaged, you can create a steady stream of referrals and professional support. So, be smart about it, be intentional about it, but get out there and start building those relationships! Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Divorce negotiations, whether working out financial settlements or parenting plans, can be filled with intense emotions and rigid perspectives. So today we are breaking down the reasons why flexible thinking is so crucial and we'll offer some strategies to help you negotiate more successfully.When people feel threatened or vulnerable, their instinct is to dig in and adopt an “all-or-nothing” or “my way or the highway" approach. And, we know that this positional thinking can lead to prolonged battles, increased legal costs, destroy relationships and cause greater emotional distress.John Wooden, a legendary basketball coach is known for saying that “flexibility is the key to stability”. The quote means that being flexible and ready to adapt to change can help people find stability and avoid stress.Flexible thinking allows us to:See multiple perspectives rather than just our own.Adapt to changing circumstances, which is crucial in any negotiation.Focus on long-term solutions rather than short-term emotional wins.Reduce stress by recognizing that not everything has to go exactly as planned. Listen in as we explore the science behind this idea of flexible thinking and how clients can use bamboo as inspiration for how to remain both flexible and resilient.--> Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach training begins March 3 Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Today, our Canadian Director Dori Braddell joins Tracy for a fascinating and timely discussion of the recent changes to the family justice system in Canada, including mandatory ADR, and what it means for dispute resolution and divorce coaching.Dori shares that in 2024, some provinces have made it mandatory for divorcing couples to make an ADR attempt first before they can have their matter heard in court. Couples can no longer go directly to a judge to decide their family matters. And in provinces where it’s not mandatory (yet), she is seeing judges order couples into an ADR process or require it if either party requests it. This means that divorcing Canadians are more likely to participate in ADR, whether by choice or not, than ever before. And demand for professionals to support them will continue to grow. We know that one on one, individualized dispute resolution support from a Certified Divorce Coach can be the difference between a blown ADR attempt and a settlement agreement. Divorce Coaches are that secret weapon, the special sauce that exponentially improves the odds at succeeding in something you didn’t have choice but to do. The next cohort of DCA divorce coach training for Canada begins the week of March 9 and Dori would love to chat with you about the opportunities that this new legislation opens up for properly trained divorce coaches. You can schedule a 1-1 call with her: Dori's Calendar Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Conflict is a topic that impacts every one of us at some point in our lives. A couple of weeks ago we talked about an important tip to reduce conflict in divorce and that was to stop expecting something different and accept that your partner will continue to show up with the same core personality traits they’ve always had.  As we were coming to the end of that conversation, Tracy really wanted to talk about the 3 primary sources of conflict. So as promised, today we’re diving into that. One of the early theorists on conflict, American psychologist Daniel Katz, distinguished three main sources of conflict: EconomicValuesPowerAs you can imagine, all three are major contributing factors in divorce conflict. Understanding these sources helps us identify the root causes of a disagreement and approach it strategically. And strategy is key when it comes to divorce and co-parenting conflict if you want to spare your bank account and save your sanity.We explore these three primary sources of conflict and offer some strategies for how you can approach each one to resolve disputes more successfully. Whether you’re facing a tough divorce, a workplace disagreement, or even family tensions, understanding these sources of conflict and the role of emotions can be a game-changer. Conflict is a natural part of life, divorce and co-parenting, but with the right tools and mindset, it doesn’t have to be destructive.  Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)If you want to get more clients, you don't need to make more Instagram reels or write a ton of blog posts.  You need to clean up your language. In this episode Tracy and Debra reveal the truth bomb that successful divorce coaches aren’t selling divorce coaching. They sell a goal plus a result.The #1 mistake we see new coaches make is using “coachy” language in their marketing materials and in their consult calls. And "coachy" language just doesn’t resonate with potential clients or referral sources.Your potential clients don’t want to hear about the coaching process or what you think they need - they want to hear how you’ll help them solve their problem and what it looks or feels like when they’ve reached that goal.Listen in as we deconstruct a typical divorce coaching pitch and show you how to define results that will make any prospect want to invest in working with you.If you'd like some help to clean up your marketing language, please consider joining our DCA Case Consultation Group where you can meet bi-monthly to share, connect, and get feedback on your business. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)In this episode we explore the "Big Five" - those core personality traits that tend to be consistent over time and circumstance. PLUS, we share a secret mantra that just may help you and your clients experience less stress when dealing with the difficult people in their lives.We consistently hear clients express disappointment, frustration, and even rage when their spouse, ex or co-parent doesn’t act or behave in the way they think they should. And we get it. It’s incredibly distressing to have to be on the receiving end of someone else’s less than stellar behavior. But we have to ask…is this really surprising? While people’s personality traits may get exaggerated during the divorce process, they typically aren’t radically different than the way that spouse behaved during the marriage. And clients continue to suffer when they continue to expect their partner or co-parent to radically transform during divorce.Understanding these 5 personality traits can help anyone going through divorce or co-parenting conflict stay grounded in the reality of who their partner is. And that gives them the freedom and agency to decide how to respond. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)In this episode, Tracy and our DCA Director for Australia, Anne-Marie Cade, are diving into an essential yet often overlooked topic: self-care during challenging times. As divorce professionals dealing with heavy emotional topics, it’s crucial that we care for ourselves so we can continue to care for others.As we kick off a new year, we think that there is no better time to reflect on how we can prioritize our well-being. A fresh start brings an opportunity to set intentions and build habits that support us throughout the year. We must acknowledge the unique challenges of working in the divorce space. Divorce professionals—whether you’re a coach, lawyer, therapist, or mediator—are often walking alongside clients through some of the most emotionally intense moments of their lives. While rewarding, this work can also be draining, especially if we don’t set aside time to replenish our own energy. Listen in as they explore the 3 pillars of self-care for divorce professionals:1. Awareness2. Boundaries3. Restoration We'd love to hear from you...what self-care practices help keep you renewed and refreshed for this heavy work? Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)When it comes to buying real estate, the saying is location, location, location. When it comes to negotiating a divorce settlement or parenting plan, we say strategy, strategy, strategy. And whether you’re negotiating at the kitchen table, participating in mediation, or working through attorneys, the same principles apply.In Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, William Ury tells us that “standard strategies for negotiation often leave people dissatisfied, worn out, or alienated - and frequently all three”. That’s because most of us have only learned how to negotiate using a style called positional bargaining.In positional bargaining, parties simply try to outwait, overpower, or out argue each other until someone finally gives enough. They may reach agreement, but it isn’t satisfying for either one of them. Principled negotiation, on the other hand, allows for mutual satisfying solutions and wise agreements.Listen in as Tracy and Debra review the elements of principled negotiation and discuss the reasons working with a DCA certified divorce coach is the best way to become informed, develop skills and create a strategy so you can negotiate in a way that both aligns with your desired outcomes and minimizes conflict. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]