Defining Divorce Coaching: Role, Boundaries, and Impact

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)What if the missing piece in most divorce processes isn’t another document or courtroom strategy, but a steadier, more prepared client? Tracy goes deep on the questions coaches ask most—how to define our role, hold firm boundaries, and position divorce coaching as an essential part of modern alternative dispute resolution.We start by drawing a bright line between coaching, therapy, and legal work, then show how that clarity protects clients and strengthens outcomes. From there, Tracy shares practical scripts for redirecting legal and clinical requests without losing rapport, and explains how referrals build trust with attorneys and therapists. You’ll hear why coaching functions as the first tier of ADR—stabilizing emotions, clarifying goals, and training low-reactivity communication so mediation and collaboration actually work.For new coaches, Tracy maps a grassroots growth plan: speak to real pain points, offer community workshops, collaborate with mediators and attorneys, and use authentic content that sounds human, not salesy. We also tackle high-conflict dynamics, teaching tools for nervous system regulation, boundary clarity, documentation with intention, and reframing interactions as moments of leadership rather than battles. Finally, we look ahead: growing standards, stronger certification norms, deeper integration on divorce teams, and technology that increases access while preserving the craft of conflict coaching.If you care about elevating this profession—with integrity, clarity, and measurable impact—this conversation is your playbook. Listen, share with your ADR partners, and help us build a future where divorce coaching is recognized as the bridge from reactivity to readiness. Enjoyed the episode? Please follow, rate, and leave a review, and send any questions you have to [email protected] Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Ten mentoring rounds don’t happen by accident—they happen because mentorship works. We sit down with mentor and certified ADR divorce coach, family mediator, and co‑parenting specialist Carolyn Jacobs to unpack how structured labs turn theory into confident practice, why the “week five slump” is a turning point, and what shifts when coaches stop chasing answers and start asking sincere, judgment‑free questions. If you’ve ever felt stuck between frameworks and real clients, this conversation offers a practical roadmap and a dose of relief.We explore the laboratory of mentorship—observe, practice, reflect—where risk is safe, feedback is specific, and humor keeps the room open. Carolyn shares the dance from counting steps to feeling the music, and we expand on a useful analogy: the curriculum is the map; clients are the weather; mentorship is the simulator where you test your gear before the storm. That framing helps new coaches spot activation, set boundaries, stay neutral to outcomes, and build a container strong enough to hold conflict, grief, and big emotions without losing presence or ethics.Then we move to the next, often-missed step: case consultation. Mentorship builds skill and confidence; consultation nourishes and sustains them over time. We lay out why peer consults prevent blind spots—especially for seasoned coaches who have seen “this kind of case” before—and how listening to newer voices keeps perspective fresh. Carolyn explains how consultation becomes an on‑going quality assurance system for ethical decisions, complex dynamics, and professional growth. We close with what mentoring teaches the mentor: accountability, sharper standards, and a deeper sense of community impact.If you’re ready to grow—from first sessions to lifelong practice—consider joining a DCA case consultation group or exploring our certification and advanced programs. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague who could use a lift, and leave a review to tell us your biggest coaching breakthrough.Connect with Carolyn Jacobs at Ally in Divorce: https://www.allyindivorce.com Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)The loudest voice in divorce is often the one inside your head—the story that explains everything your ex does and why you’re “right.” We dig into how confirmation bias narrows your view, fuels conflict, and drains families, and we show a better path: shifting from case-building to problem-solving with tools you can use today.We start by naming how adversarial systems reward selective evidence and turn parents into opposing counsel in their own lives. From emails read in the worst light to kids’ struggles being used as proof, bias escalates stress, legal fees, and the sense of moral certainty that keeps you stuck. Then we pivot to what actually helps: future-focused questions, validation without villainizing, and the move from positions (“I want the house”) to interests (“I need stability and financial security”). You’ll hear practical reframes, co-parenting communication tweaks, and real examples that replace blame with clarity and choice.For professionals—divorce coaches, mediators, therapists, and attorneys—we offer a blueprint to interrupt bias at the intake question, honor emotions without fueling grievance, and design processes that lower costs while protecting kids. For parents, we highlight simple, child-centered habits that rebuild trust and keep decisions grounded in what matters most. The punchline is simple: being right won’t raise your children or heal your nervous system; building a livable future will.If you’re ready to trade adversarial autopilot for collaboration and calm, press play. Then share your biggest reframe, subscribe for more grounded guidance, and leave a review to help more families find their way forward. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)What happens when a country makes mediation free for every separating family—but removes the preparation that makes it work? We dig into New Zealand’s bold FDR shift with Mediator and Divorce Coach Nikki Bould, unpacking the real-world impact of funding cuts, waitlists, and the shortage of child inclusion specialists. From the outside, “free” looks like progress; inside the system, parents are queued up, dysregulated, and often walking into high-stakes conversations without the skills or context to succeed.We walk through the practical trade-offs: why even a short prep window can change outcomes, what child-inclusive practice adds to parent decision-making, and how coaching complements therapy by building forward-focused skills when emotions run hot. Nikki shares on-the-ground insights from mediators and family lawyers, highlighting where families stall, why some head straight to court after a failed mediation, and how a coaching-led approach can reduce escalation and make every professional’s job easier. We also explore a Kiwi-specific vision for parenting coordination—interdisciplinary, culturally aligned, and designed to keep agreements durable and kids at the center.If you care about child well-being, equitable access to justice, and practical tools that actually move families forward, this conversation offers clear next steps. Learn how early coaching can stabilize parents, how to translate a child’s voice into better plans, and what advocates can do to build bridges across law, mediation, and mental health. Subscribe, share with a colleague who supports separating families, and leave a review to help more people find these tools.To contact Nikki Bould:[email protected] or [email protected] Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Ever wondered what's truly driving the most difficult divorce cases? Fear might be the hidden force behind excessive legal fees, ongoing conflicts, and harmful decisions that impact families for years to come.The fears inventory is a powerful but often overlooked tool in the divorce coach's arsenal. As divorce coaches, when we help clients identify and address their deepest concerns—about conflict, finances, and parenting—we transform their ability to navigate the process. Fear doesn't always announce itself clearly. Instead, it manifests as controlling behavior, conflict escalation, perfectionism, or complete shutdown. Most tellingly, it appears as decision paralysis, where clients believe they're being strategic when their nervous system has actually thrown them into fight-flight-freeze mode.Through techniques like validation, exploring emotional undercurrents, using a future self lens, externalizing fear, and building body awareness, coaches can help clients move from fear-based to values-based decision making. This isn't about eliminating fear entirely—it's about putting it in the backseat so it's not driving the divorce process. When we help clients distinguish between what they can and cannot control, we reconnect them with their agency during a time when helplessness often takes over.The real magic happens when clients can align their decisions with their values instead of their fears. This transformation builds not just a better divorce outcome but long-term emotional resilience that serves clients well beyond the signing of final papers. Are you helping your clients identify what's keeping them up at night? If not, you might be missing the most powerful intervention available in your coaching toolkit. Join us to discover how addressing fear changes everything in the divorce coaching journey. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)What can a children's fairy tale possibly teach us about divorce? As it turns out, quite a lot. The story of the Three Little Pigs offers a surprisingly perfect framework for understanding how different approaches to divorce preparation yield dramatically different outcomes.Some clients rush through their divorce process, making quick, reactive decisions—building with "straw." They might retain the most aggressive attorney they can find out of anger or fear, or just try to "get it over with" because they're exhausted. Others put in a bit more effort—the "stick" builders—talking to lawyers, downloading checklists, maybe reading a book or two. But they often miss the deeper emotional preparation, conflict pattern awareness, and values clarification that truly matters.The wisest approach? Building with "bricks"—taking time to assess the landscape, understand the risks, and plan for resilience. This means assembling the right team (attorney, financial specialist, therapist, and yes, a divorce coach), getting clear on values and goals, developing communication skills, and learning emotional regulation. When the inevitable "wolf" comes—whether that's court conflict, custody challenges, or financial hurdles—this brick foundation stands strong.As divorce coaches, we help clients slow down and shift from crisis thinking to strategic planning. We serve as the quarterback of their professional team, helping them engage the right specialists at the right time in the most effective ways. We aren't just offering emotional support (though that matters too); we're strategists, thinking partners, and often the only person in their life who sees the whole picture rather than just one component.The difference between merely getting through a divorce and going through it well lies in this brick-by-brick approach—intentional, informed, and aligned with long-term wellbeing. When you work with clients who are panicking, remember the pigs. Are you helping them rush toward a straw solution, or are you guiding them to build something that will truly protect them when the winds of change start blowing? Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)The weight of an unspoken "I'm sorry" can anchor someone in pain long after a marriage ends. This powerful episode explores why apologies matter so deeply in divorce, and more importantly, how to move forward when they never arrive.Divorce isn't just legal paperwork—it's an emotional rupture filled with pain and broken trust. An apology validates that pain, creating transformative moments where years of resentment can soften in an instant. When one person offers even partial acknowledgment, the atmosphere shifts; shoulders relax, breathing deepens, and suddenly impossible issues become negotiable. But what happens when that apology never comes?Many clients believe they can't heal until their ex admits wrongdoing, effectively tying their recovery to something outside their control. This mindset becomes a prison of anger and resentment. Drawing from John and Julie Gottman's groundbreaking research on relationship repair, we share practical strategies for finding closure without external validation: self-validation exercises, perspective reframing, symbolic rituals, and focusing on future goals rather than past wounds. We explore how unacknowledged emotional needs often sabotage negotiations, causing clients to dig in on assets or schedules when what they're really seeking is recognition of their pain.The journey toward healing without apology requires understanding that lack of apology often reflects the other person's limitations, not your worth. With guided self-discovery, you can separate emotional closure from practical outcomes, allowing you to negotiate effectively and, most importantly, free yourself from carrying resentment that only weighs you down. Listen now to discover how to carry your own key to healing rather than waiting at a door that may never open. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)When alcohol concerns collide with custody arrangements, families need more than good intentions—they need accountability. Laura Crossett joins the Divorce Coaches Academy podcast to reveal how Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system transforms high-conflict co-parenting situations into manageable, child-centered arrangements.Laura brings rare insight as both a recovery professional and former monitored client herself. "I saw firsthand the drastic improvement in my family relationships," she shares, explaining how objective test data eliminated the need for accusations or defensiveness. Her 18-year recovery journey and decade of experience with Soberlink technology offer authentic perspective on rebuilding trust between separated parents.The conversation explores how Soberlink works—a portable breathalyzer with built-in identity verification through digital photography, providing court-admissible, tamper-proof results in real time. What makes this technology particularly valuable is its ability to shift the dialogue away from addiction labels toward practical child safety. Rather than demanding lifelong sobriety, the system simply asks: "Can you commit to being alcohol-free during your parenting time?" This approach reduces stigma while keeping focus where it belongs—on children's wellbeing.Perhaps most powerfully, Soberlink creates pathways for children to maintain relationships with both parents when drinking concerns might otherwise limit contact. For concerned parents, it offers freedom from hypervigilance and constant worry. "You can actually do something fun for yourself instead of worry," Laura notes, highlighting how the technology allows both parents to be more present and emotionally available.Recognizing financial accessibility matters, Laura details the Family Assistance Program and new device rental options that make monitoring more affordable across different income levels. For divorce coaches, family law attorneys and parents navigating this challenging territory, Soberlink represents more than technology—it's a neutral third party that verifies compliance, eliminates accusations, and helps families move forward with confidence.Are you a DCA certified divorce coach? Ask us about the Soberlink-DCA Affiliate programVisit the Soberlink website: www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law  Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Divorce coaching isn't just for one type of professional anymore. What began as a niche service has evolved into a versatile skill set embraced by lawyers, mediators, paralegals, therapists, financial professionals, mortgage lenders, realtors and entrepreneurs—each using these powerful tools in unique ways.For attorneys, divorce coach certification addresses a critical gap in legal education. While law school prepares them for legal analysis and courtroom advocacy, it rarely teaches the soft skills needed to manage highly emotional clients making life-altering decisions. Certified divorce coach training provides structured frameworks for helping clients regulate emotions, clarify values, and make informed choices. Lawyers who complete our program consistently report more productive client meetings, less time spent on emotional management, and greater professional satisfaction. As one family law attorney with decades of experience told us, "This is the best continuing education I've ever taken."Mediators find that coaching skills dramatically improve client preparation and engagement. The ability to help clients articulate needs, understand interests (rather than positions), and develop realistic expectations transforms mediation outcomes. Meanwhile, paralegals and other legal support professionals discover new career opportunities, with some boutique firms now creating dedicated in-house divorce coach positions—a trend that benefits both clients and legal teams by reducing stress and improving service delivery.Beyond the legal field, our certification attracts therapists seeking to expand their practice, financial professionals wanting to better understand the emotional components of financial decisions during divorce, and entrepreneurs building innovative support services. What unites this diverse community is a commitment to transforming how people experience divorce—reducing unnecessary conflict, preserving co-parenting relationships, and empowering clients to make thoughtful decisions during a challenging life transition.Whether you're looking to enhance your existing professional skills or create an entirely new career path, DCA's revolutionary divorce coach certification offers a structured methodology grounded in alternative dispute resolution principles. Our approach teaches that while conflict in divorce is inevitable, combat is optional. Ready to be part of this professional revolution? Our next certification cohorts begin in October, and we'd love to welcome you to this growing community of practice-changing professionals. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Feeling unheard or misunderstood by their divorce professionals can add another layer of stress to an already challenging process for our clients. What happens when their attorney seems dismissive or their forensic accountant isn't addressing their concerns? More importantly, how can you help your client effectively advocate for themselves without damaging these critical professional relationships?This episode tackles one of the most persistent challenges we see clients face: conflict with the very professionals they've hired to support them. Tracy and Debra explore this delicate territory with practical wisdom, offering a framework for both divorce coaches and their clients to navigate these situations effectively. Rather than simply validating frustrations, we examine how to transform these moments into opportunities for developing lifelong conflict resolution skills.At the heart of our approach is the understanding that most professional conflicts stem from misalignments in communication styles, expectations, or priorities—not sabotage. We break down specific techniques like creating "conflict prep sheets," practicing non-violent communication, and managing emotional reactivity when power dynamics feel intimidating. These tools help clients move from feeling victimized to becoming empowered advocates for their needs.The skills developed through addressing these professional relationship challenges extend far beyond divorce. When clients learn to assert themselves effectively with their attorney or accountant, that newfound confidence transfers to negotiations, co-parenting, workplace interactions, and countless other relationships. As we often say, communication is both the source of conflict and its solution—making these skills among the most valuable tools we can provide our clients.Whether you're a divorce coach looking to better support clients through professional relationship challenges or someone navigating your own divorce journey, this episode offers actionable strategies for turning conflict into opportunity. Ready to transform how you approach difficult conversations? Listen now and discover why we consider ourselves "conflict junkies" who believe in the life-changing potential of mastering these essential skills. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]