Calvin Smith: Questioning the Unquestionable

Can you choose what you believe? When someone leaves Christianity, they’re often told they chose to walk away—that they rejected God, hardened their heart, or simply decided not to believe anymore. But is belief actually something we can control? In this episode, Jacob and Micah explore one of the central questions behind their own deconstruction: Did we choose to stop believing? They talk about the difference between choosing what we want to believe and being genuinely convinced something is true, why simply wanting faith isn’t enough to produce it, and what happens when the evidence that once supported your worldview no longer convinces you. Drawing from their own experiences growing up deeply immersed in Christianity, they examine faith, doubt, free will, evidence, and the uncomfortable possibility that losing belief isn’t an act of rebellion at all—it may simply be what happens when you can no longer convince yourself that something is true. Theme music: Jenni Potts

What happens when a pastor who spent more than two decades preaching Christianity begins to question whether he believes it himself? In this episode of Exodus Brothers, Micah and Jake sit down with Dr. Todd Phillips, a former megachurch pastor whose nearly decade-long journey of questioning ultimately led him to deconstruct his Christian faith. Todd takes us behind the scenes of life in megachurch ministry and shares what first began to crack his certainty, the questions he couldn’t shake, and how biblical scholarship, the geography of belief, and divine hiddenness transformed the way he understood Christianity. We talk about what it was like to preach while wrestling with doubt, why leaving the ministry meant losing far more than a career, the depression and grief that followed, and whether he ever wished he could simply believe again. Todd shares why his videos have connected with hundreds of thousands of people, and what it means to bring a pastoral voice into the deconstruction space. For anyone questioning their faith—or wondering what it’s like on the other side of the pulpit—this is a conversation about doubt, loss, identity, and finding purpose after certainty. Theme music: Jenni Potts Follow Dr. Todd Phillips: YouTube/Instagram/TikTok: @drtoddphillips

In this episode of Exodus Brothers, we sit down with sisters Grace and Katie Robinette to hear a story shaped by fear, control, and survival inside a fundamentalist church culture in West Virginia. Raised in a family of nine and largely homeschooled, they were taught that obedience meant survival. Discipline was often public. Shame was normalized. Questioning authority wasn’t an option when every adult around you believed the same system. When Katie was a teenager, an exorcism was performed on her in their own living room — an experience that would leave a lasting mark. Within their church, everything was framed as spiritual warfare. Illness, doubt, even disability were blamed on sin. Fear of hell and the rapture hung over daily life. As they got older, both began to see the damage more clearly. In this episode, Grace and Katie share their story — growing up in a high-control religious environment, surviving abuse, and the long, complicated process of stepping outside a world that once defined everything.   Theme music: Jenni Potts

Bry Troyer grew up in a strict religious environment, where identity came with expectations—and deviation came with consequences. In this episode of Exodus Brothers, Bry shares what it was like realizing he was gay in a world that had no room for it. From a strained relationship with his father, who did not accept him for who he was and pressure to conform—his early life was shaped by silence, fear, and the hope that he could change. That hope led him to Exodus International, where he pursued conversion therapy in an attempt to become someone he wasn’t. What followed was a painful unraveling of belief, identity, and faith itself. We talk about the cost of suppression, the long road out of religious control, and the moment Bry chose honesty over survival. Today, he lives openly as a gay man—and no longer holds the beliefs that once defined his world. This is a story about rejection, reconstruction, and the difficult, necessary act of becoming yourself. Theme music: Jenni Potts

In this episode, we talk with Calvin Smith—better known as “Unquestionable Calvin”—an atheist content creator out of Plymouth, Michigan who’s been in the deconstruction space for years. He hosts live call-in debates, practices street epistemology, and creates content focused on helping people have real conversations about belief. We get into his approach, what he’s learned over the years, and how asking the right questions can open doors you didn’t even know were there. Theme music: Jenni Potts

Alisa fled Russia with her family to escape the war, hoping to find safety and a new beginning in the United States. But the hardest part of her journey was still ahead. After becoming involved in a controlling Charismatic Evangelical church, the life she thought she was building began to collapse. When her pastor husband realized he could no longer control her, their marriage ended. The church community she once trusted quickly turned against her — casting her out and spreading vicious accusations, even labeling her a “whore” simply for wanting to leave. Suddenly alone in a new country, Alisa found herself raising her two young daughters without support, while trying to rebuild her life from scratch. In this episode, Alisa shares her story — fleeing war, experiencing spiritual abuse, and finding the courage to walk away from a system that demanded her silence and submission. Theme Music: Jenni Potts   If you are moved by Alisa’s story and would like to help support her and her daughters during this difficult transition, we have created a GoFundMe to help with basic needs like housing, childcare, and stability while she rebuilds her life. Link below: GoFundMe: http://spot.fund/h8n7l87sc

What happens when the only world you’ve ever known tells you who you are allowed to be? In this episode we talk with Lilia Tarawa, who was born and raised inside the isolated Gloriavale Christian Cult in New Zealand — a place built on strict obedience, gender hierarchy, and total control over daily life. After leaving, Lilia went on to share her story publicly, including a TEDxTalk viewed by millions around the world. Lilia shares what it’s like growing up where questioning authority isn’t just discouraged, it’s unthinkable. We talk about how belief systems become identity, how doubt slowly forms even when you don’t have language for it, and what it costs to walk away when leaving means losing your family, your community, and your entire framework for reality. But this isn’t only a story about leaving. It’s about rebuilding a self from scratch. We discuss fear, freedom, guilt, autonomy, and the strange experience of learning how to make choices for the first time as an adult. Lilia also reflects on speaking publicly after escape, and why telling the story matters — not just for survivors, but for anyone trying to untangle belief from control. If you’ve ever wondered how someone leaves a closed religious system, or what comes after — be sure to listen.  Theme Music: Jenni Potts Follow Lilia Tarawa: @liliatarawa  

In this episode of Exodus Brothers, we’re joined by filmmaker and director Cheryl Isaacson for a candid conversation about faith, identity, and the courage it takes to walk away from what once defined you. Cheryl opens up about her years as a leader within evangelical Christianity, what it meant to hold authority inside the church, and the slow, often painful process of stepping away from that world. We talk about the cost of deconstruction when your entire community, purpose, and sense of self are built around belief—and what comes after the certainty collapses. Now channeling that experience into storytelling, Cheryl discusses her upcoming feature film Girlie, a coming-of-age drama centered on a family unraveling—and rebuilding—while deconstructing from Christianity. We explore how film can become a form of processing, reclamation, and truth-telling, especially when faith once dictated the narrative. This episode is about leaving, losing, creating, and finding a new voice on the other side. Theme music: Jenni Potts Follow Cheryl Isaacson: Website: Cherylisaacson.com Girlie Website: girliethemovie.com

Today on Exodus Brothers, we’re joined by Annie Mesaros — writer, spiritual director, and lifelong seeker whose journey began inside a strict Christian framework. What followed was years of wrestling, unraveling, and what Annie describes as a profound “Dark Night of the Soul,” a period that ultimately dismantled the faith she inherited and opened the door to the one she chose. In this conversation, Annie shares how deconstruction didn’t arrive as an intellectual exercise, but as a full-body collapse of certainty — the kind that forces you to confront what you’ve been carrying, what you’ve been avoiding, and who you might become if you finally tell the truth. Today, she works as a spiritual counselor at Wild Maven Wellness, helping others navigate that liminal space between loss and reinvention. We talk about the cost of leaving, the slow rebuilding of identity, and the unexpected forms healing can take when you step outside the boundaries you were raised to never cross. It’s honest, grounding, and deeply human. Theme music: Jenni Potts Follow Annie Mesaros: Website: wildmavenwellness.com Instagram: @wild.mavenwellness

In this episode of Exodus Brothers, we explore the rise of Christian nationalism in America—how faith has been used as a tool for political power and social influence throughout history. From its roots to its growing presence today, we unpack the ways religious identity has been weaponized, the impact on American democracy, and why understanding this movement matters now more than ever. Theme music: Jenni Potts