S6, E9: How Staying Childfree Has Saved My Relationship

Well ladies and gents the day has come. It is time for me to hang up my podcast mic. Will it be forever? Why now?What's next?And am I still on the fence?I answer all if that and more in this final episode. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for the laughs, the love, the growth, the safe space. Thank you for being a huge part of my life. I love you all and I am always just one plane ride away. See you in Vegas!<3 Vanessa Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

What if opting out wasn’t about selfishness… but about conviction? In this episode of Claiming Zero, I take a deep dive into the life of Mark Boyle, better known as The Moneyless Man. He gave up money. He later gave up modern technology. And in his early 30s, he chose to have a voluntary vasectomy — deciding not to bring children into what he believes is an overconsuming world.We explore:The misconceptions about himThe moment that changed his worldviewHis three years living without moneyHis decision to be child-free — and how it affected his relationshipsAnd what we can learn from someone willing to live radically differentlyWhether you agree with him or not, Mark Boyle forces us to ask a hard question: If we say we care about the world… how far are we willing to go?Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

This week on Claiming Zero, I’m reading and reacting to two very honest Reddit threads — one from the Reddit community r/regretfulparents and the other from r/childfree.In the first post, parents were asked: “Are you envious of your childfree by choice friends?" And they did not hold back. Commenters talked about:Watching childfree friends travel freelyHaving disposable incomeBeing able to focus on their relationships moreHaving time, autonomy, and flexibility and so much moreThen I flipped the script. In the child-free thread, someone asked: “Does anyone regret not having kids?” Some people admitted fears around:Being ostracized by familyThe fear of loneliness later in lifeNot having someone who depends on you and moreThis episode isn’t about who made the “right” choice.It’s about honesty. What do people actually say when they feel safe enough to tell the truth? And what can we learn when we listen without defensiveness?Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

What if choosing not to have children didn’t limit your love—but actually saved it?In this personal episode of Claiming Zero, I share the real, unfiltered story of my 20- year journey with my partner, Devin. From meeting at 13 years old, to being friends with benefits in our twenties, to officially choosing each other years later—our relationship has not been linear, easy, or perfect.We’ve experienced breakups, reconnections, hard conversations, therapy, healing, and deep personal growth. And one truth has become crystal clear: being child-free gave us the space to do that work.This episode isn’t about bashing parenthood. It’s about honoring a path that allowed two imperfect people the time, energy, and emotional bandwidth to heal themselves and each other.If you’re child-free, on the fence, or wondering whether choosing yourself and your relationship is “enough”—this conversation is for you.Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

In today's episode of Claiming Zero, I sit down with a dear friend, author, speaker, ministry leader, and founder of a nonprofit serving foster youth, to talk honestly about faith, waiting, and purpose. She once believed she’d be a mom by now. She was married. She hoped. She waited. And then life took an unexpected turn.Now in her thirties, single, and deeply rooted in her faith, she shares what it looks like to live a full, meaningful, God-centered life even when the season you prayed for hasn’t arrived yet.We talk about:Holding space for the desire to be a mother without letting it define your worth.Grieving a timeline you thought God promisedFinding purpose, joy, and calling outside of marriage and motherhood.What Scripture says about waiting—and what it doesn’t.How serving, leading, and loving others doesn’t require biological children.This episode is for women who are childfree by circumstance, who would like to be a mom one day, and are learning to trust God with the timing—without putting their lives on pause. We see you! Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

This week on Claiming Zero, we explore the extraordinary life of Queen Elizabeth I—one of history’s most powerful monarchs and one of its most iconic childfree leaders. Born into danger, crowned in turmoil, and reigning for 45 years, Elizabeth’s story is one of intellect, strategy, and self-determination.We’ll unpack:👑 Her upbringing in a fractured royal family, the shock of losing her mother at a young age, and her remarkable educational journey.👑 Why she chose no husband, no children, and what that meant for a queen in the 1500s. 👑 Her leadership, legacy, and how her childfree life shaped an era remembered as the Elizabethan Age. Whether you’re childfree by choice, circumstance, or a curious fence sitter, this episode celebrates a woman who redefined power and motherhood on her own terms.Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

In this episode of Claiming Zero we are headed back to the r/AITAH channel for a post that sparked intense reactions about parenting, divorce, and child-free relationships.An ex-wife, 2 kiddos, a childfree woman and a man stuck in the middle. When his family jumps in with assumptions, accusations, and a whole lot of feelings he turns to reddit for clarity. Why is it so wrong for him to want a new relationship with a woman who doesn't want children?How does he handle the conversation with his kids? Join me as I unpack all of this and more!Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

In the age of turning to technology over talking with others I was curious what the 10 most Googled questions about childfree living are. So today, I'm giving my most honest responses to the questions people are curious about but don’t always feel comfortable asking out loud.What are the benefits of a child-free lifestyle?Does being child-free affect relationships, marriage, and partner compatibility?How do child-free people find community, support, or social groups?This episode breaks down common fears, myths, and assumptions surrounding a childfree life with a few throwbacks to former episodes full of resources of support. If you're new to the podcast or the childfree community this is a great episode to start with! Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

In this episode I am making history on the podcast by sitting down with a mom for the first time in the show's existence!Victoria is a proud mother in the thick of early parenthood and today she joins me to me to talk openly about the assumptions, misunderstandings, and quiet struggles that exist on both sides. This isn’t a debate. It’s not “us vs. them.” It’s a real conversation about coexistence.Join us as we talk about what parents may not realize about the pressures faced by childfree adults. How the childfree community can show up better for parents — without sacrificing boundaries. Why mutual respect matters more than agreement. And how empathy, honesty, and curiosity can change the narrative for everyone.Whether you’re childfree, on the fence, a parent, or somewhere in between, this episode is an invitation to listen, learn, and build bridges — not walls.Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero

Harriet Tubman is often remembered as a hero — but rarely discussed as a woman who lived child-free by circumstance.In this episode, we explore Harriet Tubman’s life beyond the history books: her childhood in slavery, the traumatic injury that shaped her faith and resilience, her escape to freedom, and her fearless return south to lead dozens to freedom. We also dive into her marriages, her private life, her service during the Civil War, and why she never had biological children. Her story highlights how legacy can be built through courage, community care, and purpose. Harriet Tubman didn’t raise children — she helped raise a nation toward freedom.Support the showEmail: [email protected]/FB: @claimingzero