353: Selective Eating & How to Help Fill Nutritional Gaps, with Brittyn Coleman

Feeding your child shouldn’t feel like a daily battle between fear and survival, but for so many of us parenting neurodivergent kids, it does. When your child eats only a handful of foods, it’s easy to spiral into worry about their health, their growth, and what the future might look like.In this conversation, I’m joined by dietitian Brittyn Coleman to unpack what’s really going on beneath selective eating. We talk about why “picky eating” isn’t the right lens for neurodivergent kids and how sensory sensitivities, anxiety, oral motor challenges, and even interoception all play a role. This isn’t about defiance or control. It’s about a nervous system trying to stay safe.We also dig into why traditional strategies like pressure, bribing, or removing safe foods often backfire and can actually make eating more stressful and restrictive over time. Instead, we explore how to shift toward a sensory-informed, compassionate approach that builds trust, reduces dysregulation, and creates real progress.You’ll hear practical ways to start supporting your child right where they are, including how to identify their sensory preferences, redefine what progress looks like, and reduce mealtime stress for everyone at the table. We also talk about filling nutritional gaps in a way that works for kids with sensory sensitivities.If mealtimes feel overwhelming in your home, this episode will help you see your child’s experience differently and give you a more supportive path forward. Take a breath, lean in, and listen.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/353Best Part: ****https://bestpartkids.com/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

Anxiety isn’t always what it looks like, and sometimes what we’ve been told to “fix” isn’t actually the problem at all. In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Vanessa Lapointe to unpack a deeply compassionate and eye-opening perspective on childhood and adolescent anxiety that shifts everything.Instead of focusing on eliminating anxious feelings, we explore what it really means to zoom out and look at the environments our kids are navigating every day. Because so often, their anxiety isn’t a flaw to fix, it’s a signal that something around them isn’t aligned with what they need to feel safe, supported, and able to thrive.We talk about what it looks like when anxiety shows up as irritability, control, defiance, or even shutdown, and why labeling kids as manipulative completely misses what’s actually going on underneath. Dr. V shares powerful, practical ways we can strengthen our connection with our kids, even when we can’t change the environment entirely, and how that connection becomes a protective “shield” they carry with them.You’ll also hear how to begin decoding what your child truly needs, how to approach challenges with curiosity instead of judgment, and why shifting from diagnosing the child to examining the environment can be a game changer.This is one of those conversations that invites you to soften, to see your child differently, and to trust your instincts as a parent.Listen in and discover a more connected, compassionate way to support your anxious child.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com, because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/352Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

There’s a quiet kind of harm that happens when a child doesn’t understand their own brain. It doesn’t show up all at once. Instead, it builds over time as confusion, shame, and the belief that something is “wrong” with them. In this conversation, I sit down with two amazing ADHD adults, Cate Osborn and Erik Gude, to unpack what it really means to grow up with ADHD, and why understanding it early can change everything.We talk about the very real impact of diagnosis, not as a label, but as a path to self-understanding, support, and safety. Cate shares the long-term emotional toll she sees in adults who weren’t diagnosed or informed as kids, while Erik brings the perspective of being diagnosed young and navigating what that meant for his identity. Together, they offer a balanced, compassionate look at why knowing your brain matters.We also dive into masking — how it shows up in ADHD, why it’s so exhausting, and how finding your people can change everything. There’s so much hope here, especially when we talk about building community, normalizing conversations about neurodivergence, and helping our kids feel less alone in their experience.This episode also goes deeper into topics we don’t talk about enough, like safety, risk, self-esteem, and how ADHD impacts relationships, decision-making, and even long-term health outcomes.Most importantly, this is a conversation about how we, as parents, can become a steady and supportive “North Star” for our kids as they learn who they are.If you’ve questioned whether diagnosis matters, wondered how to talk to your child about their brain, or sought how to truly support them in becoming who they are, this episode is for you.Listen now and start shifting the way you think about ADHD.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/351Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

When school keeps hurting your child instead of helping them learn, it can feel like there are no good choices left. That kind of desperation is something so many of us know well, especially when our neurodivergent kids are dysregulated, burned out, refusing school, or simply surviving the day instead of learning. In this conversation, I’m talking with educational advocate Dawn Fleming-Kendall about what parents can do when the traditional school setup is clearly not working.We talk about how to tell the difference between a school that needs more support and flexibility and a placement that is simply the wrong fit. Dawn shares the red flags that matter most, including physical, emotional, and psychological safety, and explains why collaboration with schools still matters even when you’re frustrated and exhausted. We also dig into creative options that many parents don’t realize are possible, like reduced school days, hybrid learning, online instruction, homeschool co-ops, charter schools, specialized private schools, and district-funded outplacements.This episode is especially valuable if you’ve ever been told no by a school and wondered whether there was another path. We talk about asking for flexibility, documenting what is and isn’t working, calling IEP meetings, touring alternative placements, and looking beyond sales pitches to understand a school’s actual philosophy, safety practices, staff turnover, academics, and tolerance for behavior.Most of all, this conversation is a reminder that you are not supposed to know all of this automatically. The system is complicated, and finding the right educational fit for your child can take creativity, persistence, and support.Listen now to explore school options that may better support your beautifully complex child.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/350Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

Progress with our neurodivergent kids can feel invisible. When you’re in the daily grind of meltdowns, school stress, and constant problem-solving, it’s so easy to believe nothing is working. I’ve been there. That heavy feeling of “we’re trying everything, and it’s still so hard.”In this episode, I’m joined by ADHD parenting coach and occupational therapist Caroline Fitsimones to break down what it really looks like to track and maintain progress in a way that’s realistic, supportive, and actually doable for families like ours.We talk about why tracking progress isn’t about perfection or pressure. It’s about clarity. It’s about moving from “everything is falling apart” to noticing patterns, pivoting with intention, and celebrating the baby steps that truly build growth.Caroline shares a powerful six-step framework that starts with vision casting and building family culture, then moves into strengthening ourselves as parents, installing supportive systems, targeting micro-steps for our kids’ skills, and finally reflecting and adjusting with grace.We dig into practical examples, from simplifying mornings to using visual schedules, to doing cost-benefit analyses on what actually moves the needle for your child’s regulation and success. Most importantly, we talk about modeling flexibility, self-regulation, and reflection for our kids in real time.If you’ve been stuck in survival mode or wondering how to create sustainable growth, this conversation will help you feel more empowered and less alone. Tune in and let’s rethink progress together.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/349Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

Sleep can feel like the one thing that makes everything else harder. When our kids don’t sleep, their nervous systems are fried, their emotions are bigger, and our own capacity shrinks fast. I’ve lived it. If you’re parenting a neurodivergent child or teen who struggles to fall asleep, stay asleep, or wind down at night, you are not alone and you are not doing anything wrong.In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Melisa Moore, clinical psychologist and author of The Good Sleep Guide for Neurodivergent Kids. We talk about why sleep is often more complicated for kids with ADHD and autism, from circadian rhythm differences to anxiety, medical comorbidities, and specific sleep disorders.We unpack what “balancing the ideal with your family’s real” actually looks like at bedtime. That includes rethinking sleep hygiene, creating routines that truly calm your child’s nervous system, and letting go of guilt when something unconventional, like background audio or a favorite show, genuinely helps your child fall asleep.We also explore the powerful language shift from “go to sleep” to “wait for sleep,” why calming and occupying the mind matters, how sleep associations affect night wakings, what’s different about teen sleep, and what the research really says about melatonin and magnesium.If sleep has felt like a battle in your home, this conversation will bring clarity, compassion, and practical strategies you can try tonight. Listen in and let’s make bedtime feel a little more doable.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/348Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

Motivation isn’t what we’ve been taught it is. When we misunderstand it, we accidentally shame our kids for struggling with something they can’t control.In this powerful conversation, I sit down with ADHD coach and cognitive engineer, Jeff Copper, to unpack motivation through the lens of executive function impairment. What if your child isn’t unmotivated at all? What if their brain simply requires more effort (more emotional cost) to produce the same outcome as their peers?Jeff reframes motivation as a two-force system: the automatic brain (driven by comfort and survival) and the executive functioning brain (driven by effortful achievement). When executive function is impaired, as it is in ADHD, the balance tips. Tasks feel colder. Harder. More painful. And avoidance suddenly makes perfect sense.We also dive into why traditional strategies like willpower, rewards, and even common accommodations like “extra time” often fail. In fact, some accommodations simply prolong suffering rather than relieve impairment.Instead, Jeff introduces the idea of adaptive accommodations — support that reduces cognitive load and restores equilibrium. Think cueing questions, direct oral processing, printing assignments instead of forcing everything digital, and providing scaffolding that truly fits the brain.This conversation is about dignity. It’s about seeing the invisible impairment. It’s about shifting from shame to understanding.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/347Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

Friendship shouldn’t feel like an audition.And yet, for so many of our neurodivergent kids, it does.They try to decode shifting rules, confusing social cues, and ever-changing group dynamics, all while wondering, “Am I weird?” or “Why don’t I fit in?” It’s heartbreaking to watch your child struggle socially, especially when you’re not sure how much to step in and how much to step back.In this episode, I sit down with school counselor and children’s author Jennifer Licate to talk about what friendship skill-building actually looks like — especially for kids who struggle to read nonverbal cues, interpret tone, or navigate subtle social shifts.We talk about:• Helping kids understand facial expressions and body language in concrete ways • Supporting authenticity without pushing masking or compliance• Knowing when to intervene and when to let kids work it out• Teaching empathy without teaching kids to tolerate mistreatment • Letting go of friendships that no longer feel safe or alignedFriendship is nuanced. It’s emotional. And for our kids, it can feel overwhelming.This conversation is full of gentle guidance for helping your child build real connection while staying true to who they are.If you’ve ever wondered how to support your child socially without over-managing or forcing them to “fit in,” this episode is for you.Listen now and let’s unpack this together.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/346This episode sponsored by VillageMetrics — Just talk about your child's day. VillageMetrics uses AI to find patterns, track progress, and show you what's helping. Start your free trial today. [https://villagemetrics.com?utm_source=beautifully_complex&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=beautifully_complex.](https://villagemetrics.com/?utm_source=beautifully_complex&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=beautifully_complex.)Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

Somewhere along the way, we started normalizing things that should never be normal for kids. Public behavior charts. Compliance scripts delivered to dysregulated nervous systems. Support that’s only available if a child behaves “well enough.” And the cost of all of it is dignity.In this episode, I’m naming what so many parents feel in their gut but struggle to articulate: too many systems prioritize compliance over humanity, especially for neurodivergent kids. When behavior is treated like a moral failure instead of a nervous system signal, children learn that their bodies are a problem, their needs are inconvenient, and their voices don’t matter.I walk through real, everyday examples, like classroom behavior charts, IEP meetings where kids disappear in plain sight, “calm down” spaces that feel more like exile than support, and the familiar phrase “they know better.” These practices don’t teach skills. They teach fear, shame, and self-abandonment.Dignity isn’t something kids earn through good behavior. It’s a basic human right. And regulation isn’t a choice — it’s biology. When we ask kids to perform regulation on demand, we’re asking them to do something their nervous system literally cannot do in that moment.This episode isn’t about being permissive or coddling kids who struggle. It’s about being humane. It’s about choosing nervous-system-first support, privacy, co-regulation, and repair over punishment. It’s about asking one simple question before we respond: Does this preserve this child’s humanity?I’m not neutral on this. I’m choosing dignity above all, and I’m inviting you to do the same.🎧 Listen now and join me in changing the story for our beautifully complex kids.[JOLIE — ADD the below at the end of the description only in Spreaker, not in Wordpress]You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/345Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.

There’s a moment many of us reach in parenting when the compassion just… runs out. Not because we don’t love our kids, but because our nervous system has been carrying too much for too long. When the meltdowns repeat, the stress never lets up, and every day feels like survival, even empathy can feel impossible.In this episode, I’m joined by nervous system coach Melissa Corkum to talk about what’s really happening when you feel disconnected, resentful, or emotionally shut down as a parent. We explore a lesser-known but deeply validating concept called blocked care — a biological, protective response in your nervous system that kicks in under chronic stress. This isn’t a failure. It’s not a character flaw. It’s your body trying to keep you alive.Melissa explains why parenting neurodivergent kids places such intense, ongoing demands on caregivers, and why “just try harder” is the least helpful advice imaginable. We talk about compassion fatigue, how repeated emotional pain changes the brain’s chemistry, and why your system may be pulling resources away from connection in order to survive.Most importantly, we talk about what actually helps. Not silver bullets or quick fixes, but small, doable ways to begin restoring safety and capacity in your nervous system, starting with self-compassion. From noticing tiny points of joy, to completing the stress response cycle through movement, to releasing the shame that thrives in isolation, this conversation offers relief and hope.If you’ve ever thought, I don’t recognize myself as a parent anymore, this episode is for you. You are not alone, and nothing about this means you’re doing it wrong.Listen in for a deeply validating, nervous-system-centered conversation about burnout, blocked care, and finding your way back to yourself.Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/344This episode sponsored by VillageMetrics — Just talk about your child's day. VillageMetrics uses AI to find patterns, track progress, and show you what's helping. Start your free trial today. www.villagemetrics.comBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.