Sacred Intimacy: Linking Sexual and Spiritual Connection in Marriage with Dan Purcell Ep. 713

We are quick to label selfish or defensive behavior as "narcissism," but what if the issue runs deeper than personality? In this episode, we explore how disordered desires, our need for control, comfort, or validation, shape the way we relate to others and quietly erode connection. This conversation unpacks the difference between healthy self-awareness and self-absorption, why freedom begins when we stop defending ourselves, and how real change doesn't come from trying harder—but from surrendering deeper. You'll be challenged to look beneath behavior and consider what your heart is truly after. If you're tired of surface-level fixes and ready for lasting transformation, this episode invites you to step out of self-protection and into humility, empathy, and freedom. Episode Takeaways: What we often label as narcissism or selfishness is rooted deeper than personality. It flows from disordered desires and a heart that wants control, comfort, or validation more than connection. Healthy self-awareness leads to growth, humility, and empathy. Self-absorption does the opposite , it narrows our world until everything revolves around us and what we want. Freedom starts when we stop defending ourselves. Change doesn't come from trying harder, but surrendering deeper.   Quotes from this Episode: "Selfishness doesn't start with what we do — it starts with what we want most." "Narcissism isn't always loud or arrogant; sometimes it's quiet, defensive, and deeply fragile." "You can't out-behave a heart problem — transformation always starts inside." "The more we focus on protecting ourselves, the less capable we are of loving others." "Growth happens when we stop asking, 'How does this affect me?' and start asking, 'How did this affect you?'" "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself — it's thinking of yourself less." "God isn't after better versions of us; He's after surrendered hearts." Take Time to Talk About It: Where do you notice selfishness showing up most in your relationships — words, reactions, expectations, or silence? How can you tell the difference between healthy self-care and self-centeredness in your own life? What might change if you stopped defending yourself and started listening with curiosity instead?   Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to fight off the cultural pull toward discontentment in marriage? Subscribe to our 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth reading plan. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !   

Blended families are beautiful—but they're also complex. When two lives, two histories, and often two sets of kids come together, figuring out what "family" looks like can feel overwhelming. From divided loyalties and differing parenting styles to navigating ex-spouses, finances, and faith, blended families face unique challenges that many couples aren't prepared for. In this episode, we're joined by Ron Deal, director of FamilyLife Blended and author of The Smart Stepfamily. Ron shares practical wisdom, biblical insight, and deep encouragement for couples navigating stepfamily life. We talk about earning influence before exercising authority, managing divided loyalties, setting realistic expectations, and protecting your marriage while building unity in your home. Whether you're part of a blended family or love someone who is, this conversation offers real hope, grace-filled guidance, and a reminder that healthy blended families are built over time—on purpose, and with God at the center. Episode Takeaways: Blended families are not repairs of biological families. Creating a blended family involves new rules and dynamics. Respect and communication are key. Quotes from this Episode: "You are not repairing a biological family structure. You are creating an entirely new blended family structure where the rules are different." -Ron Deal "To be a great co-parent, you need to act divorced—respect your boundaries, let go of control, and focus on parenting your own way."- Ron Deal "Stop pretending you have the right to influence your ex's choices. You can share your preferences respectfully, but after that, let go and parent your own way." - Ron Deal "Your spouse is the most important adult relationship in your life—honor that allegiance, but never abandon your children." - Ron Deal "You cannot demand love out of a child. That's something they decide on their time."- Ron Deal "If you support the stepparent in front of your kids, if you are a team member in the parenting system, then your blended family has a chance." -Ron Deal "You cannot have two parenting styles under one roof; blended families thrive when standards are more alike than different."- Ron Deal   Questions to Talk Through: Where do we feel the most tension in our blended family right now—and how can we face it together instead of alone? What is one way we can better support each other when parenting, scheduling, or outside relationships feel overwhelming? What does "progress" look like for our family in this season, even if it doesn't look perfect yet?   Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Ron and Nan Deal wrote The Mindful Marriage- it's a MUST read for all couples. Blended family? The Smart Stepfamily  needs to be your next read! Check out more of what Ron is doing HERE. Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Caught in the trap of negativity towards your spouse? Start our Lord, Help my Critical Heart reading plan today. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !   

In a world full of distractions and pressure to perform, how do we keep our identity rooted in Christ instead of our work? In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with long time friend, Terry Storch, to talk about leadership, stewardship, and the often unseen cost of carrying responsibility that affects others. From navigating pressure and seasons of life to holding the tension between efficiency and presence, this discussion explores where leadership ends and identity begins. Be encouraged to establish healthy rhythms, protect what's sacred, and remain centered on Christ—remembering that the work will come and go, expectations will shift, and seasons will change, but all glory belongs to Him.   Episode Takeaways: The "work" of life was never meant to give you value. Only our Creator can do that. Accomplishments and achievements are driven by healthy rhythms. The technology advancements create unique pressures and require adaptability. Finding centeredness in a distracted world is essential for faith.   Quotes from this Episode: "Life is a season of wilderness after wilderness because we're not in the garden yet." "I want to be known for the small little things that I did for those people right around me." "The need for centeredness, the need for Jesus, is more important now than ever." "Technology, for the most part, is neutral, like money. It can be used for really good things and really bad things." "The real story is the commitment to surrender and release, knowing it's not mine.   Take a Wider Look: How do I define my identity beyond my accomplishments, and what steps can I take to focus more on who I am becoming? In what ways might I be allowing the distractions of the world to pull me away from my core values or spiritual focus? How can I separate my calling from my vocation, and what changes might I need to make to align my work with my deeper purpose?  

  When we hear the word foreplay, most of us immediately think about the bedroom. But intimacy in marriage was never meant to be confined to a single moment behind closed doors. Today, we're talking about foreplay 24/7/36 the idea that emotional, spiritual, and relational connection is built continually, hour by hour, day by day. We'll explore how intentional connection outside the bedroom sets the stage for deeper intimacy inside it, why this matters so much for the health of our marriage, and how small, everyday choices can radically change the temperature of our relationship.   Episode Highlights: What happens in the bedroom is directly affected by what happens outside the bedroom. There are five types of intimacy that every strong marriage needs.  The goal is not perfection, it's progress.   Quotes from this Episode: When couples neglect the other four intimacies and they only focus on the physical the relationship becomes transactional sex becomes about physical release instead of real connection. - Dr. Kim That's often how affairs begin, not with physical attraction, but with unmet emotional needs. - Dr. Kim When intimacy is only in the bedroom, the temperature of the marriage runs cold. - Dr. Kim Replace bad patterns with good ones. Don't just stop the negative, start positive. Instead of scrolling, ask about their day. Instead of logistics, share something you're grateful for about them and finally give each other grace. -Dr. Kim When you come home, prioritize your spouse above anything else. -Dr. Kim When there's unresolved tension,when there's hurt or anger or distance, that vulnerability feels unsafe. -Dr. Kim Awkward is better than distant. Have the conversation. -Dr. Kim Intimacy isn't built in a single grand gesture. It's rebuilt, one conversation, one touch, one prayer at a time. -Dr. Kim   Questions Worth Discussing: What's one moment from today (or this week) where we felt connected—or disconnected—and why do you think that was? Did anything in the episode help you see everyday moments differently when it comes to intimacy or connection? What's one small thing we could do differently this week to stay more connected outside the bedroom?   Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week! Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !   

Today on the Awesome Marriage Podcast, we're joined by Dan Purcell, creator of Get Your Marriage On! and the Intimately Us app. Dan is passionate about helping Christian couples build stronger, healthier marriages through better communication, playful intimacy, and gospel-centered connection. In this conversation, we explore the powerful link between spiritual and sexual intimacy in marriage. From God's design for sex to common misconceptions, practical habits, and healing struggles in the bedroom, Dan shares how faith and intimacy were always meant to work together. This episode offers encouragement and actionable wisdom for couples who want to honor God while cultivating deeper passion, joy, and closeness in their marriage.   Episode Highlights: Experiencing really good sex in marriage requires living with virtue. What works in marriage will change over time. You must be willing to adapt together. Repair work is most of the work in marriage.  Quotes from this Episode: This is a gift from God. He gave it to us to enjoy. You can't love a person you don't know. The more honest we can be about things, the better our marriage will be. Sex can be really fun. It can be incredibly replenishing. It can be good for your health. You want to get to a place where you're at ease talking about sex.    Questions Worth Discussing: What part of this conversation felt most relatable to where we are right now? Did anything we heard make you think differently about how our faith and our intimacy connect—or even just spark a new thought? What's one small way we could be more intentional with each other this week—emotionally, spiritually, or physically?   Mentioned in this Episode: Get to know Dan Purcell Listen to the Get Your Marriage On! With Dan Purcell podcast Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sex better for both of you- by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

How are physical health and marital intimacy connected—and why does it matter more than we often realize? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs.Nancy sit down for an honest conversation about the link between physical health and intimacy in marriage. They explore how stress, exhaustion, illness, aging, and life seasons can impact connection, desire, and closeness—and why caring for our bodies is not just personal, but relational and spiritual. This conversation helps couples navigate physical barriers to intimacy without shame or pressure, and instead with patience, understanding, and love. Whether you're in a season of strength or struggle, this episode offers hope, clarity, and encouragement to pursue intimacy the way God designed it—rooted in grace and mutual care. You'll hear: • Why intimacy doesn't stay effortless—and why that's normal • How sleep deprivation, stress, and hormones impact desire and connection • Why exhaustion often gets misread as rejection • How physical neglect creates emotional distance • What stewardship of your body has to do with loving your spouse • How couples can talk about intimacy without shame or defensiveness • Practical, realistic steps to rebuild closeness—even in demanding seasons   Quotes from This Episode: Often as women, we feel like we have to do it all. We become physically drained and spiritually drained. -Mrs. Nancy Our bodies aren't machines. They need to be connected to the Lord and good health. -Mrs. Nancy We have to get past the stereotype that if you love each other that your sexual intimacy will be great. - Dr. Kim Body, soul and spirit- you have to work on all three to get yourself in shape, to live life to the fullest. - Mrs. Nancy The better I feel, the better I take care of myself, one our marriage is better, and two I have the energy and focus to serve Him and do the things God has lined out for me to do. -Dr. Kim Physical health and marriage are more connected than we realize. When one suffers, the other does too—care for both intentionally. -Dr. Kim You don't have to be 'super mom' or 'super spouse.' Recognize your limits and give yourself grace in each season of life.- Dr. Kim Taking care of your health is not just self-improvement—it's an act of love toward your spouse and those you serve. -Dr. Kim Even in illness, exhaustion, or stress, don't give up on intimacy. Adapt, support each other, and let these challenges draw you closer.-Dr. Kim You don't need a perfect body—just a healthy one that lets you show up for your spouse and God's call each day.-Dr. Kim Fitness is about being strong enough to live, love, and serve as God intended—not about looking a certain way.-Dr. Kim   Questions for Conversation: How has our current physical season (energy, stress, health, sleep, life stage) been shaping our intimacy—emotionally and physically—and where do we need more understanding for each other? Are there any physical or emotional barriers to intimacy that we've avoided talking about? What would it look like to approach that conversation with curiosity, prayer, and grace instead of pressure or defensiveness? What is one small, realistic way we could care for our physical health together this season as an act of love and connection—not obligation?   Mentioned in this Episode: Dr. Kim mentioned rating your intimacy in order to open the door to communication. We have a great tool for that! Check out our Love Making Survey. Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

In this episode, I'm joined by Lindsey to talk about her newest book, Don't Burn Your Own House Down—a powerful and practical guide for couples who want to stop self-sabotaging their marriage and learn how to protect what matters most. We unpack how unhealthy rhythms, unmet expectations, loneliness, and emotional struggles can quietly fuel disconnection, and why waiting for your spouse to "fix it" first often makes things worse. Whether your marriage is thriving or struggling, this conversation offers honest insight and hopeful tools to help you fireproof your relationship and pursue deeper connection in every season.   Episode Takeaways Most marital damage is unintentional but preventable. Self-sabotage shows up in everyday habits. Waiting for your spouse to change first keeps couples stuck. Behavior change alone isn't enough. Healthy marriages are intentionally "fireproofed."   Quotes from this Episode: Most couples don't fall apart because they stop caring. They fall apart because they stop considering each other in the little, everyday moments. Playfulness isn't a luxury—it's an essential ingredient for a thriving, connected marriage. Outdo each other in showing honor, and watch how your marriage flourishes. Scorekeeping in marriage poisons connection. If it needs to start with you, let it start with you. Your reward isn't just in the result—it's in the faithfulness and honor you show, even when it's hard. In every word and action toward your spouse, you either speak life or spit poison. When Jesus is at the center of your marriage, your own pride and hurts matter less—making way for unity, healing, and lasting love.   Take time to Reflect: What little fire are you ignoring today?  Are you believing the lie that it's your spouse's job to take the first step?  What is one small change we could make this week to protect our connection? Mentioned in this Episode: Don't Burn Your Own House Down by Lindsey Maestas Lindsey is on Instagram! Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance  

You all loved this conversation in the fall so we are kicking off our Wider Lens 2026 with a rerelease of this awesome interview. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!   Episode Highlights: Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection.  If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth. Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be.  Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next.  Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly.     Quotes from Today's Episode: I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers It may not make sense right then, but later it'll make sense. -Jerry Flowers I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you've grown comfortable with. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next? Identify an area of your life you haven't fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely. Mentioned in this Episode: Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

Marriage is one of the most meaningful relationships we experience—but when mental health struggles enter the picture, it can feel overwhelming for both spouses. In this episode, we dive into how mental health impacts the overall health of a marriage, what couples are really facing today, and why caring for your own emotional well-being is essential for a thriving relationship. Drawing from counseling experience and faith-based wisdom, we address common misconceptions, signs that mental health is affecting your marriage, and practical ways to support a struggling spouse without losing yourself in the process. You'll also hear encouragement for couples navigating anxiety, stress, or depression, guidance on boundaries and self-care, and insight on when to seek professional help. This honest and hope-filled conversation offers tools to help couples stay connected—even in difficult seasons. Episode Highlights: Mental health struggles distort how we see things. How to identify red flags that your spouse may be dealing with something deeper. How to recognize the difference in support and rescue. Encouragement to remain present in the difficult season.   Quotes from This Episode: You can't build intimacy from survival mode. Anxiety tells you everything is a threat and depression tells you nothing is going to get better. Resentment builds when the healthier spouse feels like they are carrying the whole load. Your job is to walk alongside your spouse, not carry them.  This is a season, not a sentence.   Talk it Over Together: What helps you feel emotionally supported by me when you're struggling? Are there topics, emotions, or struggles you find hard to share with me? What makes them difficult? How can we check in with each other more intentionally moving forward? Mentioned in This Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.  

I'm so thrilled to have Dr. Kelly Flanagan back on the show. Today he is talking about his newest book The Road Less Triggered, focusing on the importance of recognizing and managing emotional triggers in relationships. The work of faith, self awareness, and compassion is vital in our relationships. Dr. Flanagan shares how to stay engaged, remain soft, and practically manage conflict in a way that brings connection to your marriage. Episode Highlights: Understanding Triggered Moments in Relationships Your body is an early warning system Living in the security of God's unconditional love provides a foundation of safety. The posture of your heart affects how you receive communication. Quotes from This Episode: Most relationship conflict isn't like D-Day—it's more like Groundhog Day. We keep repeating the same patterns until we decide to break the cycle. The heart of this work is restoring a sense of choice—the power to keep your heart open, even when you're triggered and it feels impossible. A response is the fruit of self-regulation. A reaction is a failure of self-regulation. You can't connect if you're protecting. Openness is required for real connection. Our culture pushes us to blame others, but real progress comes from taking personal responsibility for how we show up. Until we move out of being triggered and back into connection mode, we'll keep self-sabotaging every attempt to connect. Becoming a safe environment for the people you love inspires them to open their own hearts—and builds true connection. Seeing the ways we differ as sources of complementary wisdom, not flaws to be fixed, can revolutionize your relationship. Questions for Conversation: Think about a recent moment in your marriage where you felt triggered. What physical or emotional signals did your body give you, and how might noticing these earlier help you respond rather than react? Consider a way your spouse differs from you that has caused tension. How could reframing that difference as complementary wisdom rather than a flaw shift your approach and deepen your connection? TRIGGER CHALLENGE: Together, identify one habit or action that makes each of you feel safe and heard. Commit to practicing that habit in your interactions over the next week, then reflect on how it affected your connection.   Mentioned in this Episode:   Read The Road Less Triggered   Connect with Dr. Kelly Flanagan   Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse differ and that's a good thing. Find out how to Celebrate Differences in Marriage, rather than allow them to divide. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge