Episode 04: Last Ditch Effort

The finale.

This is the episode where Melanie has to tell her mother. She is terrified.

It worked. Now Melanie has a secret. Only one person knows it. That one person... is Sharon Mashihi.

Melanie begins the process of acquiring sperm and getting pregnant.

While Melanie is preparing physically and spiritually to get pregnant, she receives news that yet again makes her spiral into uncertainty.

Melanie asks: Is it still worth trying to make it work with men?

This episode belongs to Vida, Melanie’s mom.  We twist and turn through the caverns of her past and present to understand what it feels like, as Vida puts it, "to live with your heart outside your body."

Melanie is at her brother’s wedding and feeling out of place.  She is unsure about long term relationships, so she takes us inside the intimate details of her parents’ marriage to find out why. 

In this episode, we meet Melanie, her family—who appear as voices in her head—and her ill-fated lover as they discuss potentially having a baby, and her first pregnancy 9 years ago. [This episode contains scenes that deal with difficult topics, including abortion, and may be distressing for some listeners.]

Part A of the prologue is a note from Sharon about why this podcast is labeled "fiction". Part B is a history of the town of Great Neck, as told by Faribah, the neighbor across the street. As Faribah always likes to say, "In this neighborhood, the windows are very important. What can you see when you look out of them, and what can everybody else see when they look in?"