Time of My Lifetime

We're back with the 1994 Lifetime movie, "Mortal Fear," starring TOML all-star Joanna Kearns as a doctor working in a private clinic where all the healthy patients are getting mysteriously sick and dying. We talk about all the important topics like smoking in hospitals, wearing silly hats in San Francisco, keeping the poison right next to the headache medicine (both injectables), and euthanizing seemingly healthy patients because....reasons? This movie is downright CONFUSING and not even Robert Englund (that's right, Freddy Kreuger himself is in this) can help us unravel whatever the hell is going on in this one. Enjoy the episode!

We're back with the 1993 Lifetime, "The Man With Three Wives," starring Beau Bridges and TOML favorite Joanna Kerns. Beau Bridges just has so much love to give in this one that one wife is two too few. We talk about all the important topics: microfiche, interesting geography, and the worst way to spend Christmas. We still don't quite understand what is just so appealing about sweaty, doofy Beau Bridges but hey, you do you Three Wives. Thanks Mr. Shimatsu, and enjoy the episode.

Oh look, another out of order episode recorded in the early days of COVID19, it's the 1999 Lifetime movie, A Face to Kill For, starring Wings' own Crystal Bernard. I know what you're thinking, "didn't you already do this one?" This was our question as well as this movie has MANY similarities to our previous episode, A Face to Die For. Here's an easy way to distinguish the two: horses. Other than that, this movie is nearly beat for beat, except a lot less fun and a little more confusing, plus our protagonist is apparently omniscient. Rocky and Jordan discuss all the important topics: horse drugs, super-genius heroines, and the ability to get a job as a high powered Wall Street trader with seemingly zero experience save for a few books in prison. Go buy yourself $100 million in Chinese bonds, don't lean over in your car, and enjoy the episode!

Well I wouldn't go so far as to call this a "lost" episode as much as it was "forgotten to publish" and is now out of order, not that it really matters. It's still covid times for Jordan and Rocky as we watch the 1990 Lifetime movie, Daughter of the Streets, starring Roxana Zal, Jane Alexander and...John Stamos? Yes, Uncle Jesse himself, speaking mostly in falsetto, wearing extraordinary jackets, and giving gross butterfly kisses. We talk about all the important topics: First period beers, crazy family members, WHORES (seriously, they really say the word "whore" A LOT in this one), the single most jaw-dropping scene of any Lifetime movie we've seen, and The Exorcist. Yes, this movie somehow becomes The Exorcist for about five minutes, truly can't miss TV. An Irish curse on your family! Enjoy the episode.

Oh boy it's a movie we've been trying to watch for a while now that it's returned to Youtube, the 1997 thriller/comedy (?)/true story (???)/extended Law and Order episode, Crowned and Dangerous starring one of our favorites, Yasmine Bleeth. This one might be the campiest movies we've watched to date and we implore you to at least go check out the water skiing scene and its aftermath, especially if you are a fan of Wile E. Coyote. Rocky and Jordan discuss all the important topics: beauty pageant culture, stage moms, and title cards, my god, why so many title cards?? This movie apparently thinks their audience has the same IQ as a sack of bricks and hell, maybe we do after watching it. It's a little bit Miss USA 1993, a little bit Law and Order and a little bit....Batman? Enjoy the show!

Whoops, looks like I'm publishing a "lost" episode! I thought this thing was posted in 2021 but apparently not, so here's a bonus episode for all the TOML-heads out there, please ignore our out of date references. It's another COVID episode, this time for the 1993 movie, Cradle of Conspiracy starring Winnie Cooper herself, Danica McKellar, back for her second movie in a row for us. Today, we're talking the black market-ish baby selling business but mostly making fun of outrageous accents. We touch on all the important topics: the world's worst dad, family heirlooms, Lifetime's most amusing cops, and ridiculous accents, have I MENTIONED THE ACCENTS? Please enjoy this "lost" episode and like us on Facebook/Itunes/whatever.

Alright it's been a great long while since Rocky and Jordan got together to discuss a good old-fashioned trashy Lifetime movie, so why not go with an absolute classic? It's the 1996 Hall of Fame movie, Lying Eyes starring Cassidy Rae, who you might remember from Model's Inc (but probably not) and Vincent Irizarry who you might know from...haunting your nightmares we guess? Believe it or not but this was actually the very first episode we ever recorded, lost to the sands of time due to some recording issues, so we decided it was time to redo it because why the hell not? We talk about all the important topics: eating at truckstops on field trips, stalkers, oversharing jewelry store clerks, and a giant lack of consequences for literally everyone. Enjoy!

Buckle up everyone, it's the 1997 Lifetime movie, "My Stepson, My Lover." We've seen our fair share of movies that make no sense but this one might top the list. Rocky and Jordan are joined by friend of the podcast, Maureen, to discuss this trainwreck of a movie. We talk about all the important topics: custom prison uniforms, Napoleonic weaponry, odd cabin construction, and much much more. This movie is apparently nothing like Rocky and Maureen remember and is somehow far less steamy and far more stupid. Grab all your power tools and enjoy the episode!

Welcome back to Time of My Lifetime. On this episode we watch and discuss the 1996 Lifetime, "Justice for Annie," starring Danica McKellar (not Phoebe Cates) and Peggy Lipton. We touch on all the important topics like the United States naval presence on Lake Eerie, terrible kitchen skills, and the GOAT Lifetime movie detective, Detective McAdams who is from Brooklyn and definitely IS NOT drunk. At least not this early in the morning. We don't want to bum you out but the real story this was based on is pretty weird and a major bummer but hey, we're not here to talk about that (at least not too much). Support the show by visiting our Facebook page (yes, that's the extent of our social media) and leaving a comment or review.

Oh boy we've been getting a bit delayed in getting these episodes pubished so we dont even know how long ago this was recorded but rest assured, we're still in (and probably will always be in) the middle of a global pandemic and probably going to start running out of Greek letters soon. Anyway, it's the 1996 movie, "Maternal Instincts" starring and EXECUTIVE PRODUCED BY Delta Burke who is....realllly going for it in this one. Have you seen "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle?" Yes? Well then you've basically already seen a better (?) version of this (minus a hospital boiler room full of hilariously oversized wrenches). We discuss all the important topics: curious science and medical ethics, the danger of banana peels, the most inappropriate doctor ever and slow motion car chases. Hush little baby don't say a word, just enjoy the episode. Catch us on Facebook and leave a comment, review or movie recommendation!