16. Madame L'affaire, dominatrix, on classism in sex work and her love for BDSM

Madame Ava L'affaire joins me for a discussion on all things BDSM and sex work. We talk about her past experiences as an escort, her passion for being a dominatrix, experiencing class discrepancies as a sex worker, the whorearchy, sexual shame, and more. Madame Ava L'affaire is a dominatrix and sex worker rights activist. She grew up in Berlin and is the child of Afghan refugees. Follow Madame Ava on socials: https://www.instagram.com/madame_laffaire/ https://x.com/Madame_affaire

Today I am joined by the magnificent Sienna Carlisle. We discuss her journey from being a pro-domme to now being a domme and escort, transphobia in the sex industry, her experiences with clients, her recent rebrand, and working in Australia vs Europe. Sienna Carlisle is an international trans goddess whose journey has spanned many countries and many parts of the industry. She is a luxury companion as well as a domme depending on the dynamic at hand. Follow Sienna on socials: https://www.instagram.com/sienna.carlisle/ https://twitter.com/siennacarlisle

Today I am joined by my friend and colleague, Bishop Black. We discuss what Bishop has faced as a bisexual POC in the industry, the difference between mainstream and "ethical" porn, and how Bishop has sustained their long and illustrious career in the porn industry. Bishop Black (they/them) is a multidisciplinary stage, burlesque, and porn performer. Hailing from London, they currently reside in Berlin. They've been active in the porn scene for over 10 years and have worked with directors and studios such as Bruce LaBruce, Erika Lust, HardWerk, JoyBear, and more. They recently starred in the film The Visitor, which premiered at the Berlinale this year. Bishop's socials: https://instagram.com/thebishopblack3000 https://twitter.com/itsbishopblack https://bsky.app/profile/thebishopblack3000.bsky.social

Why is the word "whore" a derogatory term? Is it ok for you to call me that? What other terms do we use to talk about sex workers, and where do they originate from? Class is in session, and I'm teaching you everything you need to know.

Do I pay taxes? Do I care if my clients are married? Do I fake orgasms? I get a lot of common questions about my work, and today I'm answering *all* of them. Plus, some extra answers from questions you asked on Instagram earlier this week. All your curiosities, indulged!

Season 2 of the podcast is back, and I'm starting off with a very personal story that happened this summer - I fell in love.

What's the best way to handle sex work legally? Should we use the Nordic model, to punish clients and decrease demand? What about legalization or decriminalization - and how are those two things different? Let's dive into the pros and cons of all the options. This is the final episode of Season 1 of The Whore's Bedroom! I'm taking a summer break and will be back in September for Season 2. Mentioned in this episode: Juno's TED talk: https://youtu.be/VJRBx0JjM_M?si=S9ODH8kvW6ZI2EEL Lydia's twitter thread: https://x.com/LydiaCaradonna/status/1806963676462583855 Book: Revolting Prostitutes by Juno Mac and Molly Smith

What's it like to have sex for money? Can consent be bought? In this episode I'm breaking down what it's like to do my job, on both a practical and emotional level. I also dive into the argument that "consent cannot be bought" and what consent means when money is involved.

Today I'm discussing my own spirituality, including my spiritual views on sex, why I believe sex is sacred, and my frustrations with the way society views sex and relationships. I also dive into my own astrology chart at the end of the episode. My astrologer who I mentioned: https://pippa-kate.com/

In 2017, I was given a 5 year ban from the USA - which then turned into a 10 year ban, which then turned into an indefinite ban. I'm giving you the full story on exactly how it happened, and the aftermath I've faced, plus details on how the US border brutally discriminates against sex workers. *I'd like to note - I meant to mention this in the episode but it slipped my mind - my experience was incredibly privileged as far as US border horror stories go. As a white woman I did not experience nearly the level of discrimination, harassment, and violence that other visitors and immigrants experience every day at the hands of border agents. I am thankful my experience was not worse than it was, and my heart goes out to those experiencing worse injustices. The article I mentioned in this episode: https://www.thedailybeast.com/why-ai-is-detaining-sex-workers-at-the-borderand-you-may-be-next