011 - Is Our Happiness Obsession Making Us... Unhappy?

We humans have a tendency to get in our own way. When it comes to starting new habits, changing our behavior, or making big decisions, we create all kinds of complications for ourselves. Fortunately, we’ve got Katy Milkman, a Wharton professor and expert on the science human behavior. Today, she gives strategies for beating our impulsivity (which she calls the “granddaddy” of obstacles to behavior change), making hard decisions, and why sometimes the best solution involves subtraction not addition. If you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Brad has been a performance coach for some time now, working with executives, physicians, founder, attorneys. Today, we're going to get a little insight into what that work looks like. Brad shares one of the strategies he uses with his clients to help them organize and more effectively mange their lives, and achieve their goals: his three-tiered coaching pyramid. If you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For the last couple decades, Cal Newport has been thinking about how to do quality work productively, effectively, and sustainably. His latest book Slow Productivity, a New York Times bestseller, presents a refreshingly sane idea: that we might be able to do more work and not be completely burnt out or exhausted doing it. Today, Clay and Brad sit down with Cal to talk through how that’s actually possible. Plus, as a computer scientist and productivity expert, Cal lays out his most effective work strategies and best practices for good digital hygiene. If you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mantras are a good tool to have in your toolkit when life inevitably gets frustrating and difficult (to wit: in their FAREWELL interviews, ultrarunner Courtney Dauwalter and triathlete Chelsea Sodaro both shared how mantras have helped them become world-class athletes). Today, Clay shares three of his favorite mantras, phrases that have helped him manage anxiety, work, and exercise over the years.If you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, NCAA March Madness wrapped up, and two teams were crowned National Champions—which means 134 other teams lost. This is the hard reality of any type of competition: the vast majority of people who compete will lose. But it's those who know how to lose well that can best set themselves up for a future win. On today's episode, Steve, Brad, and Clay discuss the best way to cope with the acute loss in a competition, and the more general loss of ability that comes with age: how can we learn to adapt as our bodies and skills change, and not chase the ghost of who we once were? If you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Any time we are developing a new skill, hobby, craft, or practice, we have to go through various stages of development—these are called the four levels of competence. At the first level, you're learning and everything can feel difficult. At the fourth, you're in flow. By knowing what they are, you can identity where you're at on the progression, which, in turn, will help you figure out the tools you need to continue to grow, improve, and move to the next level. Today, Brad breaks down the four levels of competence, how you can move from novice to master, and ways to stay curious and playful even after you've reached a level of mastery.If you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good news, bad news. The good news: in our modern world of endless entertainment, we have essentially solved the problem of boredom. The bad news: turns out boredom wasn't a problem, but a skill. The ability to do deep, creative work, to complete a long cardio workout, to avoid mindlessly falling into social media doom scrolls—these all require an ability to be bored. As Manoush Zomorodi, host of NPR's TED Radio Hour, lays out in her book "Spark: How to Free Your Brain From Technology and Ignite Your Creativity," boredom affords us the patience we need to get to our most generative ideas, to process difficult emotions, and to work towards our long-term goals. On today's episode, Manoush tells us why (and how) we should build some boredom back into our lives. Plus: What else she has learned about having a healthy relationship to technology after years spent studying how it affects our mental, physical, and cultural health.If you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"A ritual is routine with intention," says Katherine May (author of Wintering and Enchantment) on today's episode of The Coach Up. Whereas routines are a set of steps you don't have to think about, a ritual is about performing an action that consciously allows us to work in harmony with the various rhythms of the day, month, and year. In this way, rituals can become important ways to mark the passage of time and keep us on track as the days fly by. Since we're already three months deep into 2024, now is as good a time as ever to create rituals that will allow you to work towards your goals, and show up more consciously and with more intentionality. Katherine May helps explain how.Full FAREWELL Episode with Katherine May:"Knowing How to 'Winter' is a Year Round Skill"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/013-knowing-how-to-winter-is-a-year-round-skill/id1505257676?i=1000645443337Article referenced:"How to Set Yourself Free with Ritual" (Psyche)https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-live-free-and-in-harmonious-ease-with-confucian-ritualIf you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Last week, ESPN's Wright Thompson wrote a wonderfully reported profile of Iowa's Caitlin Clark (link below), who is playing in her last NCAA tournament and capping off a career as one of college basketball's greats and it's all-time leading scorer. At the heart of that piece was a compelling question: What is the cost of greatness? How does someone like Caitlin Clark balance relentless hustle with joy and rest? Obsessional devotion with relaxation and play? Hyper competitiveness with teamwork and development? These are the questions that anyone trying to be great has to navigate, whether you're trying to set the NCAA scoring record or not. Today, Steve, Brad, and Clay use ESPN's Caitlin Clark story to try to better understand greatness and what it takes to get there."Caitlin Clark and Iowa Find Peace in the Process" by Wright Thompson (ESPN)https://www.espn.com/womens-college-basketball/story/_/id/39740282/caitlin-clark-iowa-2024-ncaa-women-basketball-tournament-ready-marchIf you are enjoying FAREWELL, do us a huge favor: text your favorite episode to three people so they can enjoy it, too. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Knowing how to be tired is a skill. If you don't know how to work with fatigue, you won't be able to push yourself when things get hard. On the other hand, if you only know how to push and can't understand your body's warning signals when it's overdoing it, you mind find yourself injured or burnt out. On this episode of The Coach Up, Steve Magness explains how to better walk that tightrope by getting to know—and making friends with—your fatigue.If you are enjoying FAREWELL, the best way you can support us so that we can keep doing what we're doing is to leave a review or share the show with a friend. Thanks!iTunes and Apple PodcastsSpotifyAndroidStitcherGot a question, feedback, or ideas for the show? Email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (646) 893-9503 Find Brad, Steve, and Clay on Instagram: @bradstulberg, @stevemagness, and @clayskipper Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.