The Amityville Podcast

Sorry for the delay. Apparently we set something on the server to "bad'. We aren't sure when it happened, before or after we watched the movie, because woof. Frankenstein implies parts. Is our job (nonpaid) to just watch anything anyone slaps a name onto? Would we buy Amityville Bibles and sneakers? Why do we give our enemy agency? These answers aren't in this episode. They are in our souls. 

It's in Amityville. People are on an elevator. There are thankfully no fart jokes. Beyond that, what is there to talk about? We take an hour to try and figure that out.

Not to be confused with Subspecies, which we said a while ago we would dive into once we were caught up. We should never have made that promise. Sisyphus may have come to appreciate his neverending toils like an office drone on year 20 of an entry level position, but the rock of Amityville gets heavier and heavier.

Ride Share is almost a clever title, because the movie carpools a bunch of stuff from the maker's other works, just crams them all into a buggy then we watch as they all say which way to go and we never get anywhere and the windows won't roll down and the AC is broke. If you thought driving scenes were going to be the worst of this, you've underestimated this franchise.

An anthology, with sort of a wraparound. There's an outhouse. Green screen. Probably made during some stage of lockdown. Who knows? Who cares? Poop jokes. All in the name of Amityville.

This one popped up on some but not all lists of Amityville films, because finding all of the Amityville films is the only way to unlock the clues that lead to the Great Amityville Treasure, buried long ago by Lutzbeard of Brolin, the greatest pirate Long Island has ever known. But why? We had to find out (contractually)!

When looking under every rock for these movies, we somehow forgot to look to the 70's European market, where things like copyrights and titles were to be shared like they were sharing their wine, their drugs, their bodies. It was a Bertolucci-esque bacchanalia of "sequels" and imposters dancing across screens for cheap coin. Per Professor Nigel Crump, "They made a lot of knockoff crap."

We close out the Scream franchise. It goes as expected. A correction for the end of the episode, we will be going back to Amityville before out next franchise, which is announced at the end of the show. How many more Amityvilles are there now? Find out next episode, and then again once we actually get to the end again.

The first of the post-Craven installments, and the relaunch of the franchise in the era of terms like "elevated horror" and "requel". A new cast takes the lead, while the old cast still tries to be front and center at least a little. People are stabbed. Phone calls are made.

Wes Craven's final film, plus a return to the franchise in general after over a decade past that third one. I wonder if we'll have anything to talk about? Oh, the original file came in at almost three hours, so it seems so. We trimmed stuff like pauses for passing sirens, coughing fits, and some long silent stares that don't make for good radio and got it down to still our longest episode. Enjoy!