Grieving Sober: Navigating Loss Without Numbing

02/12/2024

Sisters In Sobriety

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42:14

Grief and sobriety—two paths that often intertwine yet feel isolating. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore how grief transforms when faced with the raw clarity of sobriety. Together, they share personal insights and practical advice to help you navigate the complex emotions of loss while staying grounded in recovery.

How does grief feel when faced without substances? What misconceptions about grief might be holding you back? How can we better support others who are grieving in sobriety? From understanding anticipatory grief to exploring the nuances of conflicting emotions, Sonia and Kathleen tackle it all in today’s heartfelt discussion.

They talk about:

The myth of the "5 stages of grief" and why grief is non-linear.
Recognizing and navigating anticipatory grief and cumulative grief.
Practical self-care practices to stay emotionally healthy during grief, especially while sober.
Why outward mourning and ongoing grief should be normalized.

Sonia reflects on the surprising lessons from her divorce and how it continues to shape her sobriety journey. Kathleen opens up about the loss of her father, sharing moments of vulnerability and growth, including how she honors his memory through continuing bonds. Together, they reveal the healing power of connection, honesty, and allowing grief its space.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.

Highlights

[00:01:00] Sonia and Kathleen introduce the topic of grief and sobriety.
[00:02:02] "What does grief feel like when sober?" Sonia shares her thoughts on sitting with raw emotions.
[00:03:31] Exploring what grief looks like versus societal expectations.
[00:06:13] Sonia discusses the mindset shift of “the only way out is through.”
[00:08:41] Kathleen opens up about the anticipatory grief she felt before her father’s passing.
[00:10:54] Types of grief in sobriety: divorce, loss of identity, and cumulative grief.
[00:13:00] Misconceptions about grief: Can you grieve someone still alive?
[00:17:03] Kathleen’s strategies for emotional self-care during her grief journey.
[00:20:03] Continuing bonds: How Kathleen honors her father’s memory.
[00:21:12] Sonia reflects on grieving her old life and navigating uncertainty post-divorce.
[00:25:13] "You don’t control life as much as you think," Kathleen shares hard-earned wisdom.
[00:28:38] Sonia on self-imposed grief milestones and the challenges of “re-litigation.”
[00:30:00] The spectrum of what is “normal” in grieving.
[00:32:42] Healthy vs. unhealthy grieving: The role of substances and emotional numbing.
[00:34:14] The stigma of mourning in Western cultures and its emotional impact.
[00:36:00] Supporting someone grieving while sober: showing presence and offering practical help.
[00:38:00] Sonia and Kathleen discuss holding space without pushing for "moving on."
[00:39:24] The power of directly asking someone what support they need during grief.
[00:41:00] Sonia and Kathleen reflect on lessons learned from grief and how to show up for others.