SWM 103 – January 2023 Anonymous Questions

Answering the question: Hi Jay, I've noticed a dichotomy when it comes to expectations for male and female sex drives and what's considered desirable sexual performance. As a man, I feel like there's a lot of pressure to perform sexually. This means being able to become sexually aroused when seeing a naked woman (my wife in this case), being able to maintain the erection and having the sexual stamina to keep from climaxing for a sustained interval (not sure what the average woman considers desirable stamina but let's say 10 minutes?) Not to mention the societal pressure that men face when it comes to the size of their penis. I myself feel insecure about not having a large enough penis. Who doesn't want to add a couple of inches to their penis? I've become somewhat perplexed/frustrated because I feel like there are very few expectations placed on females. We live in an age when "all women are supposed to be seen as beautiful." It seems that females are simply expected to be willing to participate in sex when the mood is right, and that's it. There's no expectation on the size or quality of female genitals, no expectation on their ability to get aroused or maintain arousal, and no expectations on the level of physical or mental effort they invest in sexual activity. It seems they are just supposed to be the recipient while the man does the thrusting. Even when it comes to the subject of natural lubrication, there's a stigma around a man who can't naturally achieve and maintain an erection, but for the woman, there doesn't appear to be a stigma around the inability to produce sufficient arousal fluid (vaginal wetness). As it pertains to the topic of pornography, I've read many articles about the dangers of pornography for men, how it leads to sexual desensitization, and when paired with masturbation, decreased sexual stamina and even erectile dysfunction. I can't say I've read many articles discussing how viewing pornography is detrimental for women. Is it just me, or is there a double standard when it comes to sexual expectations for men and women?

Topics include: Sex in heaven Oral sex positions How to recover from an affair I want to become a mom

Topics include: My wife feels disrespected because I notice other women Wife is hurt but not healing after years Wife disconnects during foreplay What can we do during fertile days Oral sex questions Husband doesn't know our anniversary date Should I be worried if I'm late? In-laws over-share about sex Fantasies for couples Low-drive husband Period sex

Topics Include: Crossdressing Reframing "duty" sex Wife gets sex when she wants, but he doesn't Afraid to have more children

One of the most confusing subjects in Christianity is the topic of hell. The popular view is that hell is a place of eternal torment where vengeful God sends you for all of eternity for not obeying Him. People use this belief to try and scare people into being Christians. Let's see what the Bible says about hell. Do people get tortured for eternity? Is it just an infinite existence of everlasting torment? Is God really that sadistic?

Topics include: Wife wants too much sex Couple needs counselling Keep having the same unproductive fight Make boundaries before you start dating Sexy underwear for men

Topics: Is it okay to take nude pictures and videos of each other? Limon by Minna discount Asexual wife? Wife loves me, but isn’t in love with me Wife isn’t interested in improving our sex life Wish I married a bigger butt Secretly feed her ejaculate Husband says my vagina stinks and tastes bad 50-year-old wife refuses to have sex Do we need a counselor?

Topics include: Threesome temptations Aversion to receiving manual and oral sex Penis size Falling asleep during sexy time

Topics: Women use sex to control men, so men should be allowed to masturbate Appreciating beauty vs lusting Playlist for sex Tenuto Squeamish about handjobs Another question about masturbation How do I get my wife to masturbate for me? Is oral sex okay? Are men polygamous by nature?

Topics include: Phone sex Oral sex to completion Forgiveness and trust after betrayal Are pictures and videos a problem? Increasing female libido naturally What is our duty? Toxic wife Abusive employer