Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!You’ve been lied to about your marriage.Not by your spouse. By everything you’ve been told about what it takes to save one.It takes two.Give it time.It’s too late.We’re just incompatible.We already tried counseling.I hear these from our clients at Marriage Helper every single week. And every one of them is a lie.Here’s the truth. Most of the time, your spouse is not the reason you can’t save your marriage. What you believe is.I was reminded of this while training for a half marathon. My legs felt like bricks. I wasn’t eating enough, because of something I’d believed for years. That belief was working against the very goal I was chasing.Your marriage works the same way.In this video, I walk through the 10 limiting beliefs that keep people stuck. Why it only takes one person to break the pattern. Why time doesn’t heal a wound that’s infected. Why the butterflies were never supposed to last. Why there are no magic words, no perfect text, no perfect prayer. And why you have to be okay whether your spouse comes back or not.Some of these will sting. Good.Because if you can’t afford to get help for your marriage, you definitely can’t afford a divorce.I can’t guarantee your marriage will be saved. Nobody can. But I can tell you this. Do the work, change the way you think, and you’ll be far better off than most.Most people give up.Will you?If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Here's the truth: Your marriage is the most important relationship you have on this planet. So when that relationship is in crisis, you should trust someone to help you put it back together.In this video, I break down what's happened in the marriage space over the last 24 months, what to look out for, and I even give you 3 options of people to work with who AREN'T Marriage Helper (of course I hope you choose us 🙂)The bottom line is this – find someone you trust to help you save your marriage... Not just what sounds good.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!They say forgive and forget.That’s not how it works.You can forgive without forgetting. You can forget without forgiving. Or you can do neither and carry it for the rest of your life until it turns you bitter.Here’s the truth. Forgiveness sucks. It’s hard. And the day before I taught on it to my Connection Compass group, I found out someone had lied to me and stabbed me in the back. I didn’t want to forgive. I wanted to hate them.So in this video, I get honest about what forgiveness actually is and what it isn’t.It’s not a feeling. It’s a decision.It’s not approval. Consequences still happen.It’s not a shield. Holding on doesn’t protect you. It poisons you.I carried unforgiveness toward someone from my childhood for 20 years. It changed nothing about them. It changed everything about me.I’ll walk you through the two choices that make forgiveness possible, the story of a friendship that ended badly and the email that came two years later, and why I can’t wrap my head around any of this without Jesus and the woman in John 8.Whoever came to mind while you read this, this video is about them. And about you.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!God did not tell you to leave your marriage.I need to say that plainly, because I keep hearing the opposite.“I’ve been praying about it.” “I think God is showing me a way out.” “I just don’t feel it anymore, so maybe this is His answer.”Friends, that is not an answer from God. That is sin wearing Christian language.This week a man left a comment on one of my videos. His wife had been praying for months. There was no infidelity. No biblical reason. And she filed anyway. Then she went and sang on the platform that Sunday about how nothing is impossible with Jesus.In 14 years at Marriage Helper, I have heard that story more times than I can count. Married 20 years and “we just grew apart.” Married two years and “I think I have feelings for someone else.” Churchgoing. Jesus-loving. And walking out for no reason they can actually name.So in this video, I’m talking to the Christians.Not teaching from the research this time. Just conviction.I walk through what God actually said about marriage, why Jesus told the Pharisees that divorce only exists because of hardened hearts, and what it really means to sing “my whole life for your glory” on Sunday and then make decisions Monday based on what makes you happy.This is a hard word. Most of what Jesus said is.But if you want to know whether your decision lines up with God, don’t go off your feelings. Go off His Word.If you’re standing for your marriage right now and you’re tired, this one is for you.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!He talks to everyone at the party.Then you get in the car and he goes silent.You ask a question. Nothing. You tell him about your day. Nothing.And you start to wonder if every other woman in that room was prettier, or funnier, or more interesting than you.Here's what I've learned after years of this work. Most men don't go quiet because they stopped caring. They go quiet because somewhere along the way, talking stopped feeling safe.In this video, I break down the three things that get a man to open up again.Stop the attack. Change the environment. Go first.The first one is the hardest, because most women don't know they're doing it. There is a difference between a complaint and a criticism. A complaint is about behavior. A criticism is about character. One sounds like "I wish you'd talk to me the way you talk to them." The other sounds like "what is wrong with you." He hears the second one even when you meant the first.Then he defends himself. Then you feel contempt. Then he stonewalls and stares at the floor and it's like you aren't even in the room. John Gottman called those the four horsemen, and they predict divorce with frightening accuracy.The second thing is environment. Not the dinner table. Not the bedroom. Not the living room with the game on. Outside if you can manage it, because nature settles people down. Timing and place matter more than the words you pick.The third thing is the one nobody wants to hear. Transparency breeds transparency. You go first. You tell the story about you. You stay open before he is, and then you wait, and you don't push.And whatever you do, don't say "we need to talk." That shuts a man down before you've said anything at all.I walk through all three, including what to do if you've already tried being open and he gave you nothing back.He can talk to you. He just has to feel safe enough to do it.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!AI can give you brilliant relationship information.It can also give you brilliantly bad advice.And you won't know which one you got until it blows up in your face.Here's a true story.A woman's husband was flying home from a business trip. She wanted to show him how much she loved him. So she asked AI what to do.It gave her a list. She picked one.Lingerie from Victoria's Secret. Rose petals from the garage door, across the floor, up the stairs, down the hall to the bedroom. Kids farmed out for the night.Sounds perfect, right?Almost everyone watching this thinks so.He walked in and he was not happy.Here's what the machine didn't know. It didn't know her. It didn't know him. It didn't know the twenty years of nuance sitting inside that marriage.AI gathers information. Some of it is excellent. Some of it is terrible. And it can't tell the difference.In this video I explain:Why AI can find research fast but can't assess whether that research is any goodWhy "research proves" is a phrase that should make you suspiciousWhy answering a hundred questions doesn't mean the machine knows you, it just means it compared you to strangers who answered the same wayThe difference between information and wisdom, and why only one of them can save your marriageWhen AI is genuinely useful, and when it's dangerousI'm not against AI. I think it's brilliant. I use it.But it can bring you information. It can't tell you how to live.Use it for facts. Double check those facts.For the big decisions in your marriage, your dating life, your relationship with your mom, your son, your daughter, talk to someone who has the knowledge and the experience and the wisdom.The good news about the woman with the roses? We knew her. We knew him. When it blew up, we were there to help them understand what happened and how to fix it.That's something only a human being can do.Relationships aren't part of a machine.They're part of the heart.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Doing nothing feels safe.It isn't.When your marriage starts falling apart, most people freeze. You don't want to make it worse. You don't want the conflict. You don't know what to say. So you wait and hope it settles on its own.It almost never does.You really only have three options when trouble shows up. Do nothing. Get the wrong help. Get the right help.In this video, Dr. Joe Beam walks through all three, and why the second one does more damage than most people realize.The wrong help is rarely obvious. It's the friend who's still angry about her own divorce. It's family who love you too much to be objective. It's a counselor carrying bitterness she's never dealt with. It's a good-hearted couple online who saved their own marriage and now assume yours looks like theirs.None of those people are villains. They just aren't equipped to help you.A testimony is not a method. Caring is not a plan.He also covers what to actually look for. The right education. Values that match yours, or at least get respected. Someone who treats the marriage as the client instead of picking a side. And the questions to ask before you book a single session, including how they calculate the success rate they advertise.One warning worth repeating. If someone diagnoses your spouse without ever meeting your spouse, walk away.Most people don't wait because they stopped caring. They wait because they're hoping it resolves itself.Get help early. Even if your spouse isn't there yet.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!They didn't make a mistake.A mistake is grabbing the wrong bag at baggage claim. A mistake is an accident you didn't choose.What happened to you was a choice. They knew. And calling it a mistake is just a softer word for something that isn't soft at all.So the anger makes sense. The urge to make them feel a fraction of what you're feeling makes sense.Which brings us to the actual question.How do you punish a spouse who cheated?There are four doors. Body, mind, heart, and soul. Physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual. And three that people walk through most often: their money, their reputation, and their kids.Here's the part that gets left out.They all work.You really can make their life miserable. You can keep them guilty for thirty years. You can call the boss. You can tell the church. You can make the children choose.The problem isn't that punishment fails.The problem is what it costs the person doing it.Destroy them financially and you may be destroying money you need. Destroy their reputation and you hand your own name to the same gossip. Keep them anxious and guilty and you have to stay in that room with them to do it. And parental alienation isn't protection for your kids. It's your pain, routed through them.You have every right to punish them.The question is what it turns you into, and whether that's the person you want to be five years from now.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Do cheaters always cheat?You've heard it from your mom. Your best friend. Maybe even a counselor who has never met your spouse.After 30 years of working with marriages in crisis, we can tell you it isn't true. Not for most people.In this video, Dr. Joe Beam breaks down three different kinds of affairs, because the answer to your question changes completely depending on which one you're actually dealing with.The high opportunity, low involvement affair. Wrong place, wrong time, no real emotional connection.The emotional affair. Limerence. Consuming, powerful, and it has a shelf life.The habitual affair. The one that keeps repeating until something underneath it finally gets addressed.Three very different situations. Three very different answers.Here's what decades of workshops and couples have shown us. When both spouses figure out how it happened, and then repair what made it possible, the vast majority never cheat again.But "figure out" is doing a lot of work in that sentence.You can't just reset and hope. You have to understand it. Then you have to build something different in its place.So the real question isn't whether cheaters always cheat.The real question is this. Is your spouse a good person who did a bad thing, or a bad person who did a bad thing?Because one of those can be repaired.In this video, Dr. Joe walks you through how to tell the difference, why almost everyone advising you right now is a biased source, and what it takes to build a marriage that's stronger than the one you had before the affair.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Everyone around you is starting to ask the same question.Why are you still trying?Your spouse is checked out. Maybe they've stopped sleeping in the same bed. Maybe they've moved out completely. Maybe there's someone else. And nothing you've tried has moved the needle even an inch.So the people who love you start looking at you sideways. They think you're standing in a graveyard.Here's what they're missing.Standing for your marriage doesn't require certainty. It requires confidence.You can't be certain what your spouse will do. They're a grown adult making their own choices, and nobody can honestly promise you a specific ending. But you can be confident that change is possible, because we've watched thousands of couples walk out of situations that looked exactly like yours.And here's the part almost nobody tells you.Standing changes you long before it changes anything else.In this video, one of our coaches shares what three years of standing actually looked like. His wife stayed in the affair the whole time. The marriage ended in divorce. And he still says he'd do it all over again.Not because standing saved the marriage.Because standing made him someone worth being.If your confidence has been living inside your spouse's approval, this one is going to sting a little. In the best way.Because it's never wrong to do the right thing.If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelperFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam