Ep. 160: When your Child won't Talk about their Watchdog and Possum Brain

Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of- “Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?”Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episode.Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling!In this episode, you’ll learnThe difference between co-regulation and coddlingWhy asking this question helps us understand some of our fearsWhat trust has to do with co-regulationResources mentioned in this podcast:Self-Regulation Doesn't Exist!!What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/coddlingFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain?They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk?I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room).This doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for your child. Promise.In this episode you’ll learn:The developmental milestones needed before a child can identify or talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brainHow we can use our kids’ behavior as cues/clues to let us know something about their brain development and what interventions are appropriate (clinical reasoning)The role of distress toleranceSteps to take to scaffold your child in developing self-reflection and mindsight, as well as decrease shame around their behaviorResources mentioned in this podcast:Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {Ep 114}Healing Blocked Care With Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls {Ep 123}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutwatchdogFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Wondering where to start with all this information about behaviors and the nervous system?Subscribe to the START HERE podcast at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses.I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!”In this episode, I:Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lots)Teach you what to do if your child uses it as an excuseRecommend resources for how to teach your child about their brainWelcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.Additional Resources:Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/changebehaviorFocus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior FREE Webinar: https://robyngobbel.com/webinarThe START HERE podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/starthereOver on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Does your child with a vulnerable nervous system say mean, hurtful, taunting, or aggressive things to your other kids? You already know you can’t control what comes out of someone else’s mouth, so what do you do??? How do you help your kids deal with their sibling’s verbal aggression?In this episode, you’ll learnSteps to help increase your children’s psychological boundariesActivities that will help your children increase their psychological boundariesResources mentioned in this podcast:Setting Boundaries That Sick - Juliane Taylor Shore's book!Boundaries with Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}Setting Boundaries That Stick With Juliane Taylor Shore and Therapist Uncensored {EP 185}Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}Teach Siblings about Owls, Watchdogs, and Possums... Without Excusing! {EP 187}Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblingsverbalaggressionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

What on earth should you do when you have more than one child dysregulated at the same time? You’re outnumbered, you’re overwhelmed. Now what?In this episode, you’ll learnThe #1 step to take when more than one kid is dysregulatedWhat to prioritize How to have realistic expectations for yourselfResources mentioned in this podcast:Child Always Dysregulated? Try This! {EP 18}Stress Response System {EP 94}Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}Grief as the Sibling of a Child with Special Needs {EP 188}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/twokidsdysregulated Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

If you are a regular listener here on The Baffling Behavior Show, big, baffling behaviors and big meltdowns are no longer surprising in your home.Even if we can’t predict those moments of 'Back-Off or, 'Attack' Watchdog, "Shut Down' or, 'Play Dead' Possum, we can predict that it is going to happen again.You can create felt safety for the other children in your home by making a plan.In this episode, you’ll learnKey things to consider when making a plan for what siblings should do during a meltdownScripts for how to talk to your other children about the plan How to empower siblings to get help when they recognize lower level cues and clues of the watchdog or possum pathway in their siblingResources mentioned in this podcast:Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/helpsiblingsFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Grief is hard to acknowledge and talk about. The truth is, there is grief involved with being the sibling of a child with a special need. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how to support the siblings of kids with a nervous system disability with behavior-based symptoms with all their feelings, especially grief. In this episode, you’ll learnHow to validate all your children’s feelings, even when they are really uncomfortableHow to acknowledge the truth that in most circumstances, your other children really are less seen in your familyThe four questions to ask yourself when thinking about how to help your kids with their griefResources mentioned in this podcast:Grief In Parenting Kids With Vulnerable Nervous Systems {EP 129}Ableism, Parenting, And Trauma Informed Care {EP 85} (Guest Marshall Lyles)I HATE YOU! And Other Big Feelings {EP 168}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/siblinggriefFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

One way we can support the siblings of kids with big, baffling behaviors is to teach them about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some way to understand the brain and behaviors) as well as to teach them about nervous system vulnerabilities and ‘overactive’ watchdog and possum brains!In this episode, you’ll learnSteps to take when teaching siblings about owls, watchdogs, and possums so they won’t feel like you’re just excusing bad behaviorThe importance of validating your kids’ experience that the way you parent their sibling is unfairA couple scripts for talking to your children about their sibling’s watchdog and possum brain (available on my website by CLICKING HERE)Resources mentioned in this podcast:Helping Siblings Understand "Unfair" Parenting {EP 186}Can I Teach My Child About Their Brain? {EP 114}My Child Won't Talk About Their Watchdog and Possum Brain {EP 160}EVERYONE Has A Watchdog And Possum Brain! {EP 178}Is Understand Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}Enabling Vrs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/teachsiblingsFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Do you have kids who feel like the way you parent their sibling (the one with the worst behavior!!!) is unfair?We’ll be tackling different topics on how to support siblings over the next month.In this episode, you’ll learnThe five things to consider when thinking about how to help siblings understand ‘unfair’ parentingAre you parenting all your kids thru the lens of regulation, connection, and felt safety?Do all your children know about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some other way to understand the brain and conceptualize behaviors)Do your school-age and older child understand vulnerable nervous systems and sensitized stress response systems (overactive watchdog and possum brains)Do your children (siblings of kids with special needs) feel really, truly seen by you?Is this actually more about unresolved grief (yours and/or theirs)Resources mentioned in this podcast:Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}Stress Response System {EP 94}What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean {122}Grief in Parenting Kids with a Vulnerable Nervous System {EP 129}Can I teach my kids about their brain? {EP 114}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/unfairFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Wondering where to start with all this information about behaviors and the nervous system?Subscribe to the START HERE podcast at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Something new and unexpected here on The Baffling Behavior Show!This episode is actually from the Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley. Sue and Ann interviewed one of y'alls FAVORITES- Juliane Taylor Shore.Juliane was on The Baffling Behavior Show a long time ago, talking about psychological boundaries and verbal aggression. This is one of my most played episodes EVER.Juliane just published a new book on boundaries so when Sue and Ann asked if I wanted to do a podcast feed swap, I knew y'all would LOVE to hear from Juliane.In this episode, you'll hear Sue and Ann interview Juliane all about Setting Boundaries that Stick. Resources mentioned in this podcast:Setting Boundaries that Stick by Juliane Taylor ShoreTherapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann KelleyBoundaries with Verbal Aggression podcast episode #115 with Juliane Taylor Shore Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundariesthatstickFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is TURNING ONE!Happy Birthday!!! 25,000+ copies, 4.9 stars- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is helping kids and families ALL OVER THE WORLD!Check out RobynGobbel.com/book to purchase a copy or order in bulk for your team or book study group! Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Wondering where to start with all this information about behaviors and the nervous system?Subscribe to the START HERE podcast at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources