Episode 325 - Why Sex Seems So Hard

Thanksgiving is a natural time to talk about what we’re grateful for, but we often forget to include our sexual relationship on that list. Gratitude is such a powerful force within relationships, and its influence can transform our sexual relationship into the one we’ve always dreamed of! When we actively choose to be grateful for our partner, it opens up space for deeper connection, empathy, and emotional closeness—all of which play an important role in our sexual satisfaction. In this episode, we’re going to talk about how we can bring more gratitude into our sexual relationships. I’ve done the research so let’s talk about the practical ways we can do this. And remember, gratitude is something we can do all year long, not just at Thanksgiving.

Desire is a topic that comes up a lot in my coaching business. Couples often wonder why she's just not in the mood so in this episode, we're going to talk about 4 possible reasons why. While this isn't a complete list, these are the reasons I hear most often. So listen in to not only find out why she's just not in the mood but also what you can do about it.

Have you ever felt like your sex life is stuck in a predictable, comfortable routine? It’s not unusual to feel this way but how do you get out of it? Let me answer that question and more in this episode. We will talk about a concept called “Sexual Leftovers,” those things that feel safe and not too scary in the bedroom, instead of the intimate connection that you want sex to be. And we will talk about how to address those underlying anxieties that keep you and your partner from enjoying your sex life to the fullest. There is no need to be stagnant. You can reignite that spark!

What is aftercare? Well, to put it simply, it’s what happens after you have sex. Do you jump right up and go on with your day or do you take some time to cuddle? Aftercare plays such a significant role in building and sustaining intimacy in a relationship. That’s why I want to talk about it in this episode. Why is aftercare so important and how to introduce it if it’s not already a part of your sexual routine. Let’s really break this down and talk about how aftercare impacts relationships at a deep level.

Are you bad in bed? Is your spouse? Being “bad in bed” isn’t a thing that should cause shame or anger but it is something that needs to be looked at more. And it usually starts outside the bedroom. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what it means to be “bad in bed” and what to do about it if you recognize yourself or your spouse in the list. With my normal honest and forthright style, I’ll give you exactly what to say and do to no longer be “bad in bed.”

Even though this topic can feel a little awkward, frustrating, and even scary, I think it’s important to talk about because all couples will probably have this happen from time to time in their sex lives. So, the question is, what happens when men lose their erections during sex? In this episode, we’re breaking down why this happens, what to do when it does, and how to support each other through it. Let’s look at this from the men’s and women’s perspective so that you can have a better understanding of what is going on and how to react when it does happen.

Is it time to ditch your pajamas? This topic may make you blush, but let’s talk about why we might want to think about sleeping nude or partially nude. From the benefits, challenges, and health advantages, to how to introduce it to your partner, we’ll talk about the surprising impact it could have on your relationship. So, sit back, get comfortable, and let’s talk.

Let’s be honest, most of us were not taught what to do when our arousal was unanswered. So, let’s talk about it. What happens when we’re turned on, but our spouse declines? How do we channel that energy into something productive and healthy? And, how do we teach our children to understand unanswered arousal? We’ll talk about all of this and more in this episode. Are you ready for real change? Let’s go!

What is an archetype? In very simple terms, it’s a “should”. As the man, I “should” be the primary breadwinner. As the woman, I “should” cater to my husband’s sexual needs. But, are these “should’s”, these archetypes, really who you are deep down inside? In this episode, we’re going to talk about relationship and sexual archetypes. We’ll identify them, discuss how they’re shaped, and the benefits and problems they bring. Finally, we’ll talk about why it’s crucial to break free from them. Society has long-standing traditions and norms that dictate what roles men and women “should” play. You see it everywhere. With my step-by-step guide, you can break free from these archetypes and find what you actually want to do, not what you “should” do.

I often see people wanting to uplevel their sex lives, but ignoring non-sexual touch completely. But, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more important than sexual intimacy. In this episode, we’re going to talk about touch and how important it is to our relationships. Let’s talk about why touch is so important, the difference between intimate and sexual touch, how to navigate touch when partners have different needs or feel overwhelmed, and ways to build a culture of touch and pleasure in your relationship. Don’t be so focused on how to have great sex that you forget about the daily intimacies of touch; the hugs, the kisses, the embraces, the handholding, the importance of touch as a love language and also as a form of foreplay and making love itself. So, what is your touch communicating? Let’s find out.