Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey

Your marriage has a memory problem (Psalm 103). Your marriage can suffer not only because of what you remember, but also because of what you forget. Why is it that we can remember an offense from years ago in vivid detail, but struggle to recall all the ways our spouse has shown us love, grace, and kindness? In this final episode of our four-part series through the Psalms, we're exploring Psalm 103 and the importance of intentionally remembering God's goodness. David begins with a command to his own soul: "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits!" And there's a powerful lesson here for our marriages. When we focus more on our spouse's failures than their faithfulness, we can begin to lose sight of the good in our relationship. In this episode, we're discussing: Why we tend to remember hurts more easily than blessings. How keeping score damages marriage. What God's mercy and grace teach us about how to treat our spouses. Why forgiveness doesn't mean ignoring boundaries or accountability. How to become more intentional about gratitude and appreciation. Three practical ways to strengthen your marriage: Remember, Release, and Respond. God has shown us incredible mercy, patience, and steadfast love. What would happen if we became more intentional about extending those same gifts to one another? Join us as we wrap up our Psalms series and discover how remembering the right things can change our marriages. Scripture: Psalm 103:1–22 We'd love to hear what you've learned from this series! Leave us a podcast review or email us at [email protected]. Visit expeditionmarriage.org for more biblical marriage encouragement and resources and https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-204-marriage-has-a-memory-problem-lessons-from-psalm-103 for complete show notes and resources.

What do you pray when your marriage is struggling, emotions are escalating, or life feels completely overwhelming? Sometimes all you can say is, "Lord, help me." And according to Psalm 70, that can be a powerful prayer. In this episode of the Expedition Marriage Podcast, we're continuing our four-part Psalms series with a look at Psalm 70 and what we're calling the SOS Prayer for Your Marriage. David's urgent cry for God to "make haste" teaches us that we don't need elaborate words or perfectly structured prayers to approach God. We can bring Him our fear, desperation, frustration, and honest need for help. But Psalm 70 also teaches us something equally important: We can ask God to hurry while trusting that His timing is always right. In this episode, we're discussing: Why short, desperate prayers are biblical What "make haste" means in Psalm 70 How to pray during conflict and difficult marriage seasons Why your spouse is not the enemy How praise helps us remember God's character The difference between trusting God and trying to control the outcome Why God can be trusted to deliver or sustain us A simple five-step SOS Prayer you can use in your marriage We also share a deeply personal story of a medical emergency when the only prayer Jamie could find was a desperate cry for God's help. If you've ever felt like you didn't know what to pray, or you've struggled with trusting God's timing, this conversation is for you. 🎁 FREE DOWNLOAD: THE SOS PRAYER FOR YOUR MARRIAGE -  https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-203-the-sos-prayer-for-your-marriage-psalm-70 We've created a free five-step prayer guide based on Psalm 70 to help you learn to: CRY — Bring your urgent need to God. NAME IT — Identify the real struggle. PRAISE — Remember who God is. ADMIT — Acknowledge your need for Him. TRUST — Surrender the outcome to His care. Get your free guide here:  https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-203-the-sos-prayer-for-your-marriage-psalm-70 Scripture: Psalm 70:1–5 This is part three of our four-part series through the Psalms. Listen to the previous episodes: Episode 201 — What Is Shaping Your Marriage? Lessons from Psalm 1 https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-201-what-is-shaping-your-marriage-god-wants-you-to-thrive-in-your-marriage-lessons-from-psalm-1 Episode 202 — Is Your Apology Enough? What Psalm 51 Teaches About True Repentance https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-202-true-repentance-in-marriage-lessons-from-psalm-51   00:00 Bless Or Sustain 00:35 Psalm 70 And Marriage Urgency 02:12 When All You Can Pray Is Help 03:33 Rote Prayers Vs Real Relationship 05:53 Letting Go Of Control In Prayer 08:09 Reading Psalm 70 09:15 Memorial Offering Context 11:45 Make Haste Meaning 12:41 Elohim And Yahweh Names 19:31 Helplessness Over Self Reliance 21:52 Verses Two And Three Enemies 23:56 Identify The Real Enemy 24:14 Marriage Conflict And Spiritual Battle 24:54 Name Issues Not People 26:36 Spiritual Warfare Or Self Control 28:31 Imprecatory Prayers Explained 29:22 Pray Against Evil Not Spouse 31:05 Rejoice While Desperate 32:39 Seek God With Diligence 35:12 Praise Reframes Perspective 36:03 Prayer Lists Versus Praise 38:28 Knowing God In Crisis 40:44 Poor And Needy Bookends 44:45 Urgent Moments SOS Prayer 46:39 Five Step SOS Handout 46:59 Closing Prayer And Challenge   Let's connect! Visit https://expeditionmarriage.org for biblical marriage encouragement, resources, and more episodes. Subscribe to Expedition Marriage for honest conversations about faith, marriage, communication, and growing together in Christ.

Have you ever said "I'm sorry" to your spouse, only to find yourselves having the exact same argument again? Or maybe you've heard the same apology over and over, but nothing ever seems to change. There's a big difference between apologizing and truly repenting. In this episode of the Expedition Marriage Podcast, we're diving into Psalm 51 to discover what David's response to his sin can teach us about confession, taking responsibility, forgiveness, and genuine heart transformation in marriage. After being confronted with his sin, David didn't defend himself or make excuses. He pleaded for God's mercy and asked Him to create a clean heart within him. That's the kind of repentance that moves us beyond temporary remorse and into lasting change. In this episode, you'll learn: Why apologies without repentance often lead to repeated conflict How defensiveness and excuses interfere with marriage repair What genuine confession looks like Why we need to repent to God and our spouse The difference between behavior modification and heart transformation How repentance can help rebuild relationships and create a different legacy for future generations Scripture: Psalm 51:1–19 This is part two of our four-part series through the Psalms. Be sure to check out episode 201, where we explore Psalm 1 and what it means to build a marriage rooted in God's Word.   00:00 Sorry Versus Repentance 00:44 David Confronted by Sin 02:30 Why Change Matters 04:44 Psalm 51 Mercy Plea 06:03 Stop Justifying Sin 11:23 Clean Me Not Comfort 12:30 Confession and Separation 14:19 Three Faces of Sin 17:36 Missing the Mark Daily 20:42 Sin Against God First 22:48 Blame Shifting Trap 23:13 Vertical And Horizontal Repair 24:59 Prayerful Repentance Rhythm 26:17 Psalm 51 Clean Heart 27:59 De Sin Me Illustration 30:55 Try Harder Vs Transform 34:10 Holy Spirit Clarified 35:59 From Cleaned To Used 40:35 Broken Contrite Heart 41:57 Private Sin Public Impact 43:57 Reflection Questions Prayer 47:00 Final Charge New Heart   Questions to Discuss With Your Spouse When I apologize, am I owning my actions or just trying to move on? Am I more concerned about the consequences of my actions or the condition of my heart? What recurring pattern in my life do I need to surrender to God? Connect with Expedition Marriage Listen to more episodes and find biblical resources to help strengthen your marriage. Website: https://expeditionmarriage.org Subscribe for honest conversations, biblical encouragement, and practical marriage tools from Christian marriage coaches Jamie and Chris Bailey.

What Is Shaping Your Marriage? Lessons from Psalm 1 — God Wants You to Thrive What is shaping your marriage? Whether you realize it or not, something is influencing the way you think about marriage, treat your spouse, handle conflict, and make decisions. The question is, are those influences drawing you closer to God's design or pulling you further away? In this episode of the Expedition Marriage Podcast, we're kicking off a four-part series through the Psalms, beginning with Psalm 1. Although this psalm wasn't written specifically about marriage, its wisdom has powerful implications for how we live as husbands and wives. Psalm 1 presents two very different ways of living: one rooted in God's truth and the other shaped by worldly influences. Through the imagery of walking, standing, and sitting, we explore how easily we can drift into unhealthy patterns without even realizing it. We'll also unpack what it means to delight in God's Word rather than simply follow it out of obligation, how biblical meditation transforms everyday life, and why God desires something greater than a marriage that merely survives. In this episode, you'll discover: How social media, entertainment, family patterns, and cultural messages can shape your marriage. What Psalm 1 teaches about the gradual progression of spiritual drift. The difference between simply obeying God's Word and genuinely delighting in it. How to practice biblical meditation and apply Scripture to your relationship. Why a marriage rooted in Christ can remain fruitful even through difficult seasons. How your marriage can leave a godly legacy for future generations. God doesn't want your marriage to simply exist. He wants you to grow in Him, bear fruit, and experience the life that comes from being rooted in His truth. Join us as we consider whose counsel we're following and what it looks like to build a marriage that is deeply rooted, spiritually fruitful, and guided by the Lord. Scripture: Psalm 1 Resources Mentioned: The Family You Came From — Discover how the patterns you learned growing up may still be influencing your marriage. This Scripture-based guide includes a self-assessment, guided couples conversation, and seven-day walkthrough. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-201-what-is-shaping-your-marriage-god-wants-you-to-thrive-in-your-marriage-lessons-from-psalm-1 Use code PODCAST20 for 20% off. Questions to Discuss Together: What is the loudest voice shaping our marriage right now, and is it the Word of God? Are we following God's Word or delighting in it? What would that difference look like for us? What would it look like for our marriage to be a tree that feeds the next generation?   00:23 Who Counsels You 01:21 Drifting Without Intention 02:08 Series Intro Psalm One 03:05 Righteous Versus Wicked 05:26 Reading Psalm One 06:32 Walk Stand Sit Drift 09:17 Modern Scoffers And Algorithms 11:31 Family Patterns Guide Break 13:48 Counsel Of Wicked Today 15:23 Therapeutic Culture Warnings 18:53 Delight Not Just Duty 21:48 Steadfast Love And Surfing 23:15 Taste And Return 24:09 Biblical Meditation Hagah 25:09 Three Movements Of Meditation 26:24 Righteous Living In Marriage 30:07 Tree By Streams Contrast 31:04 Chaff Explained And Direction 31:59 Planted To Thrive And Bear Fruit 35:20 The Lord Knows Yada 39:48 What Shapes Your Marriage 41:49 Choose Christ And Live It 43:32 Prayer And Weekly Questions

What if the prayer that could change your marriage isn't "Lord, help my spouse change," but "Lord, make me more like You"? We pray for better communication, less conflict, more connection, and greater understanding in marriage. And those are all good things to pray for! But how often do we ask God to change our hearts in the process? In this episode of Expedition Marriage, we're exploring the difference between two powerful kinds of prayers: "Help me" and "Make me." One invites God's help in our circumstances. The other invites His transforming work in our lives. And here's the important part: We need both. We're talking about: Why asking God for help is biblical and necessary How self-reliance can sneak into our prayer lives The difference between wanting relief and wanting transformation What it means to pray bold, Scripture-based prayers How to stop focusing only on your spouse's shortcomings Why spiritual growth can change the dynamics of your marriage How to pray for your spouse with the right heart Why surrender, patience, and humility matter in marriage We're also sharing some honest reflections from our own lives and exploring what Scripture says about becoming more like Christ. Because the goal isn't simply to have an easier marriage. It's to become two people who increasingly reflect Jesus in the way they love one another. FREE DOWNLOAD: Help Me and Make Me — Prayers for Your Marriage Get our Scripture-based, seven-day prayer guide, complete with practical prayers and couples discussion questions. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-200-help-me-or-make-me-a-prayer-that-could-change-your-marriage 00:00 Marriage Needs Transformation 00:37 Make Me vs Help Me 02:12 Heart Motives in Prayer 04:50 Self Reliance and Control 08:29 Marriage Prayers and Gods Will 13:48 Help Me Dependence vs Make Me Surrender 16:13 Bold Prayers and Sanctification 19:42 Waiting and Heart Posture 21:11 Not Magic Words 22:12 Real Prayer Heart 22:47 Better Spouse Prayers 24:10 Praying For Spouse 25:55 Check Your Because 26:35 Connection And Intentionality 28:10 Growth Changes Dynamics 33:23 Scripture And Transformation 36:15 Mission Field Marriage 40:46 Relief Versus Surrender 42:30 Closing Prayer And Download

What are you actually building your marriage on? Marriage advice? Therapy? Instagram reels? A favorite podcast? What feels right? Those things may offer helpful tools, but as Christian couples, none of them were ever meant to replace God's Word. In this episode of Expedition Marriage, we're talking about biblical illiteracy and the impact it's having on Christian marriages. And we're not just talking about reading more Bible verses. We're talking about knowing Scripture well enough to recognize truth, understand context, identify when the Bible is being misused, and—most importantly—allow God's Word to transform how we live and love our spouse. We're getting into: The biblical illiteracy problem among Christians Why information without transformation isn't enough Scripture being taken out of context Weaponizing verses about submission and forgiveness Why you shouldn't simply believe everything a pastor, counselor, podcaster, or Instagram account tells you "Life coach Jesus" and our desire to only hear what makes us feel good Why couples need to study Scripture for themselves How to start reading the Bible together when you don't know where to begin You don't need a seminary degree. You don't need to understand Greek. You don't even need an elaborate Bible study plan. You just need to start. Because storms eventually come to every marriage. The question isn't whether they'll come. It's whether your marriage has been built on something strong enough to stand when they do.   00:00 Myths and Illiteracy 00:59 Marriage Without Purpose 02:53 Bible Reading Decline 04:21 No Shame Just Conviction 05:50 Basic Bible Knowledge Gaps 08:47 Teens and Cultural Lies 10:44 Bad Theology in the Pew 12:06 Bible Habits and Divorce 13:38 Handling Scripture Rightly 18:01 Cherry Picking and Deconstruction 22:49 Scripture Over Leaders 23:25 Damage From Misuse 24:09 Study Beyond Sundays 25:35 Famine Of The Word 26:32 Weaponized Marriage Verses 27:28 Forgiveness Misapplied 30:32 Pop Psychology Vs Truth 33:50 Tickling Ears Warning 36:46 Lamp For Daily Steps 39:48 How To Start Reading 41:43 Church And Resources 45:33 Rock Foundation Wrap-Up   Research and Stats Discussed: Bible reading among U.S. adults hit a 15-year low in 2024. Only 30% of adults were reading Scripture weekly. Among self-identified Christians that number was just a little better. 60% of Americans cannot name five of the Ten Commandments. 82% of Americans believe the phrase "God helps those who help themselves" is in the Bible. Born-again Christians did better — by one percent. Only 12% of U.S. adults can name all four Gospels. 71% of Christian teens cannot distinguish biblical truth from cultural lies. The 2025 Ligonier State of Theology survey — among self-identified evangelicals — found that 47% agreed that God accepts the worship of all religions. 28% said Jesus was a great teacher but not God. Couples who regularly read the Bible, attend church consistently, and live as devoted followers of Christ are 35% less likely to divorce than the general population. Nominal Christians — those who claim the faith but don't engage the Word — are 20% more likely to divorcethan the general population.

What if some of the things you believe about marriage are actually making marriage harder? We're joined by Julie Baumgardner, founder of Marriage on the Daily (https://marriageonthedaily.com), to bust some of the most common marriage myths—especially the ones that can trip couples up during the first 10 years.   We're talking about beliefs like: "The two become one, so we should basically become the same person." "If I married the right person, we wouldn't have this much conflict." "Never go to bed angry means we have to resolve this tonight." "If you really loved me, you'd know what I need." "Once we have kids, they should become the center of everything." Julie brings nearly four decades of experience working with couples and families, along with 37 years of marriage, to help us separate healthy expectations from the ones that often create frustration and disconnection.   You'll hear why your differences aren't necessarily a problem, why conflict can actually increase intimacy when handled well, how to get underneath anger to the real issue, and why protecting your marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.   And perhaps one of the best reminders from the entire conversation:   Different isn't deficient. Different is just different.   If marriage has felt harder than you thought it would, this conversation will help you rethink what "healthy marriage" actually looks like—and give you practical ways to move forward together.

What if the things helping you feel better are actually keeping you from getting better? Sometimes what we call "better" is really just less uncomfortable. We avoid the conversation. We turn on Netflix. We scroll. We stay busy. We overwork. We take control. We keep the peace. And for a little while, it works. The tension goes down. The argument stops. The anxiety quiets. Everything feels a little more manageable. But relief isn't the same thing as restoration. In this episode of Expedition Marriage, Chris and Jamie explore the difference between temporary relief and genuine healing—and why couples can spend years managing marriage pain without ever addressing what is actually broken. Using the stories of Esau trading his birthright for a bowl of stew, Israel digging broken cisterns in Jeremiah 2, the Israelites wanting to return to Egypt, and Hebrews 12's call to throw off what hinders us, they unpack the spiritual and relational danger of choosing what feels easier now over what produces lasting growth. In this episode: Why "feeling better" doesn't necessarily mean your marriage is getting better The difference between relief and restoration Why growth usually requires discomfort What Esau's birthright teaches us about immediate gratification How pornography, scrolling, entertainment, busyness, and control can become substitutes for real healing The difference between peacekeeping, peacefaking, and peacemaking What Jeremiah's broken cisterns teach us about self-sufficiency Why familiar unhealthy patterns can feel safer than unfamiliar healing How avoidance slowly erodes marriage resilience Why spiritual maturity is necessary for marriage restoration How to identify the things hindering your marriage Why doing hard things together actually creates greater security The goal isn't a marriage that never feels uncomfortable. The goal is a marriage that knows discomfort doesn't have to be dangerous—and that restoration is worth the work. 🎁 Be sure to grab our Relief vs. Restoration Couples Worksheet in the show notes (https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-197-relief-isnt-restoration-what-are-you-settling-for-in-your-marriage) and work through the conversation together. And whatever you do… Don't trade lasting restoration for a bowl of stew.   00:00 Hard Things Build Courage 00:45 Relief vs Restoration 02:52 Growth Requires Discomfort 04:06 Comfort Culture and AI 07:06 Cheap Substitutes in Scripture 07:16 Birthright for Stew 11:50 Everyday Avoidance Patterns 14:37 Band-Aids and Broken Cisterns 19:31 Self-Sufficiency vs Living Water 21:06 Real Peace in Christ 21:49 Broken Cisterns Check 23:03 Harmless Distractions Trap 23:54 Busy and Disconnected 25:02 Looking Good vs Being Good 25:51 Unfamiliar Vulnerability 28:38 Old Patterns and Predictability 31:10 Relief vs Restoration 34:33 Throw Off the Weights 36:59 Worksheet and Prayer 39:44 Final Bowl of Stew Warning

The Real Reason Couples Stop Having Sex (And How to Reconnect) Why can two people deeply love each other and still feel completely disconnected—emotionally or sexually? And why is sex still something so many Christian couples struggle to talk about? Today we're joined by licensed marriage and family therapist George Faller, founder of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy and coauthor of Brave Love, Great Sex. Before becoming a therapist, George served as a lieutenant in the New York City Fire Department, including during 9/11. And interestingly, that experience still shapes the way he approaches struggling marriages today: Instead of running away from the fire, learn how to move toward it. George helps us understand the attachment patterns operating both inside and outside the bedroom—and why what looks like anger, withdrawal, rejection, pressure, or defensiveness may actually be a signal pointing toward a deeper need for connection. We're talking about: Why emotional and sexual connection can't be separated The attachment needs underneath conflict Why some spouses protest while others withdraw How self-protection creates negative cycles Why emotions are information—not problems How vulnerability creates connection Why rejection can create sexual anxiety Why repair matters more than never getting it wrong Why Christian couples need to get better at talking about sex How shame and purity-culture messages can follow us into marriage Why great sex isn't primarily about performance The importance of sexual communication Why pressure can shut down desire How pain and chronic illness affect sexual intimacy Why mismatched desire doesn't mean you can't have a fulfilling sex life What can happen to intimacy after 50 George's four-step process for building a new cycle of connection How couples who have been disconnected for years can begin finding their way back One of our favorite reminders from this conversation: The goal isn't perfection. It's connection and repair. If you've been avoiding conversations about emotional or sexual intimacy because they feel uncomfortable, this episode is an invitation to choose the discomfort that can actually take your marriage somewhere better. Because you don't have to stay stuck in the same cycle forever. Get George's book, Brave Love, Great Sex: Harnessing Attachment Theory for Passionate Relationships today - https://a.co/d/07GAsF8U   00:00 Meet George Fowler 00:55 From Firehouse to Therapy 03:47 Challenge Response Mindset 04:17 Why Brave Sex Talk Matters 05:48 Attachment Hats Explained 07:15 Sex as Connection System 09:34 When Touch Disappears 10:32 Pursue Withdraw Bedroom Swap 13:08 New Moves Replace Cycles 16:11 Signals Curiosity Caregiving 18:00 Vulnerability and Repair Skills 20:57 Best Sex Talk Questions 22:11 Purity Culture Fallout 23:11 Research on Great Lovers 24:10 Orgasm Gap and Anatomy 25:39 No Pressure Just Healing 27:24 Desire Gap and Better Sex 30:08 Connection Over Performance 30:43 Passion That Grows 33:07 Afterglow and Oxytocin 34:44 Chronic Pain and Brakes 37:50 Four Rs for Safety 39:52 Breaking the Cycle Together 41:24 Choose the Hard Conversation 42:14 Book Release and Farewell

There comes a point in parenting when you realize something terrifying:   You can't control your kids anymore.   They choose their own friends. They date people you may not choose. They make decisions about alcohol, sex, relationships, college, marriage, and eventually even their faith.   So what do you do when you can see where a decision might lead, but you can't stop your child from making it?   In this episode, Chris and Jamie talk honestly about one of the hardest transitions in parenting: moving from control to influence.   They share from their own parenting journey, their own stories of wandering far from God, and the biblical hope we have when a child's current chapter looks nothing like the ending we prayed for.   In this episode: Why control becomes an illusion as our children get older Why Proverbs 22:6 is wisdom—not a guarantee What Lois, Eunice, and Timothy teach us about sincere faith How Deuteronomy 6 changes the way we disciple our children Why good parenting doesn't guarantee good choices The danger of both pride and shame in parenting Why repentance may be one of the most powerful things your children see you do How to move from controlling your kids to influencing them Why curiosity works better than criticism How to talk about a relationship you don't approve of What to do when your child questions or walks away from Christianity Why natural consequences can sometimes be necessary What the Prodigal Son teaches us about letting go without giving up How to remain heartbroken and hope-filled Why your child's current chapter isn't necessarily their final chapter   And Jamie shares the powerful true story of a mother who prayed for her estranged son for decades—and eventually watched him come home to both her and Jesus.   Your job isn't to control every chapter of your child's story.   Plant faithfully. Live your faith sincerely. Speak truth in love. Keep the door open. Keep praying. And trust the God who loves your child even more than you do.   00:00 Parenting Control Illusion 01:07 Kids Growing Independence 01:56 When Choices Scare You 05:03 Fear Versus Trust 06:39 Proverbs Not Promise 08:00 Faith Not Checkbox 09:20 But God Redemption Stories 12:32 Hope For Wandering Kids 14:48 Sincere Faith Witness 16:29 Shema Daily Discipleship 19:56 Pride Shame Repentance 22:39 Grace And Truth Approach 23:38 Emotional Entrenchment 24:20 Love With Boundaries 25:32 Teaching Wise Decisions 27:32 Let Consequences Teach 28:28 From Rules To Benefit 30:24 Curiosity Not Judgment 33:25 Faith Doubts And Deconstruction 38:54 Mission Field At Home 40:35 Prodigal Son Hope 45:09 Prayer And Final Charge