Crappy to Happy

Why do some people go through trauma and come out the other side better for it?Dr Edith Shiro has been asking that question since she was a child. One set of her grandparents survived the Holocaust, the other walked from Syria to Israel with six children, and she grew up in a community of immigrants in Venezuela where she watched people respond to upheaval in very different ways. Some stayed stuck in survival mode. Others went well beyond recovering, starting organisations and communities and finding a whole new appreciation for life.That curiosity became her life's work. Edith is now a clinical psychologist in Miami with more than 25 years working in trauma, and in her book The Unexpected Gift of Trauma she maps out a five-stage process of post-traumatic growth that anyone can move through. We talk about what trauma actually is (her definition is broader than you might expect) and why being resilient can sometimes get in the way of growing. We also get into whether you have to hit rock bottom before anything shifts, and why the people you choose to confide in make such a difference.Edith doesn't pretend any of this is easy. Most people only start this process because they've run out of other options. But it's such a hopeful message, especially if you're in the middle of something hard right now. As I said in the last episode, never let a good crisis go to waste.What you'll learn:The three groups of people Edith noticed growing up, and what set the third group apartA broader definition of trauma that explains why two people can go through the same event and respond so differentlyHow resilience can sometimes keep you from growing (and what it takes to go further)Why not being believed can hurt more than the event itself, and how to choose who you confide inDr Edith's five stages of post-traumatic growth When finding a new purpose after a crisis is growth, and when it's a way of avoiding the painHow beliefs born from family trauma get passed down, and how you can choose which ones to keepResources mentioned:The Unexpected Gift of Trauma by Dr Edith Shiro (available in Australia and the UK)The Unexpected Gift of Trauma workbook, with activities, meditations and videos for each stageDr Edith's self-paced post-traumatic growth certification for mental health professionalsEdith's website: https://www.dredithshiro.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.edithshiroFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.edithshiroMan's Search for Meaning by Viktor FranklConnect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When a crisis turns your world upside down, what do you do? Last week we talked about how to make a big decision. This week I'm talking about when the decision gets made for you. You lose the job or the relationship or the house, or you get a diagnosis you didn't see coming, and suddenly the change you never asked for is here and completely out of your control.One of my favourite quotes is 'never let a good crisis go to waste'. I'm not asking you to look for a silver lining while you're in the thick of it. But a crisis can also be a rare opportunity to re-examine everything and decide what you want to rebuild, and it's the moment you find out how much of your personal growth work holds up under pressure.I'm sharing what you can do to give yourself the best chance of coming out of this situation stronger. If you're going through something hard right now, or looking back on it, I hope this gives you something to hold on to.What you'll learnWhy you can feel relieved and devastated at the same time, and both are validWhat a crisis reveals about how far you've really come How fight, flight, freeze and fawn show up when things fall apartThe attitudes researchers have linked to growth after adversityWhat changes in your body and mood when you see stress as a good thingWhy your mood in a crisis makes a lousy fortune tellerThe questions to ask yourself about what to rebuild from the rubbleResources mentionedLast week's episode on making a big decision when you're overthinking it: https://crappytohappypod.com/s18e1Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor FranklIf you enjoyed this episode, hit follow wherever you listen so you never miss one. If you know someone going through something hard, please share it with them. And I'd love it if you left a five-star rating and review. ⭐️Connect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stuck on a big life decision? Let’s talk about the psychology of decision making. Whether you're weighing up a job, relationship, starting a business or buying a house, big decisions have a way of keeping you stuck on the fence. In this episode I'm explaining why your pros and cons list is no help, and how your predictions of how happy you'll be depending on what you decide are wildly unreliable, and why we usually default to the status quo even if it makes us miserable rather than take a risk on the unknown. If you're going around in circles on whether to make a change or take the plunge, tune in to hear which information you should discard and what to pay attention to if you want to come to a decision that gives you the best chance of satisfaction in the long term. What you'll learn:Why change feels so hard, even when you want itThe reason your pros and cons list is not helping you at allThe science of predicting how you'll feel in the future (and how much we underestimate our own resilience)what happened when 22,000 people let a coin toss decide for themThe decision making formula that is most likely to get you closer to an outcome you'll be happy with.Connect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's nice to feel content, peaceful and satisfied with life. But how long do you let yourself feel any of those things before you get twitchy?Let's talk about why you might find it so challenging to allow yourself to feel content. It might be guilt, or a fear that you'll get complacent, a history of struggle that makes peace feel foreign to you, or a core belief that you're not worthy or deserving of ease.Takeaways: The difference between contentment and happinessHow our conditioning to strive and achieve makes rest feel like a threatWhy your brain might resist pleasant feelingsWhy joy and peace can feel uncomfortable when you try to access themThe worthiness blocks that keep you from feeling okay with your own lifeHow waiting for the worst robs you of joyWhy cultivating contentment from the inside is the only version that lastsConnect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re feeling a little bored and uninspired, I get it. I noticed recently that after 9 years of podcasting, ideas were not flowing and creativity felt like a chore. (This is normal of course.) But after spending two days out of the office at The Podcast Show last week, I’ve discovered renewed enthusiasm. I realised that getting out of my bubble was exactly what I needed, so I’m sharing some ideas that might help you tap into some of that inspiration and spark up your interest and energy again. Whether you work for yourself, work from home, or just spend a lot of time alone at a laptop, there is some science that can point us in the right direction. I’m sharing some of that science, some practical ideas, and things that have helped me personally.What you'll learnWhat's happening in your brain when you're in a rut - and why pushing harder often makes it worseWhy getting out of your usual environment does more than change the scenery (there's actual neuroscience here)How to engineer novel experiences without booking a flight (by all means, feel free to also book a flight)Why being around people who can help is the first thing we cut when when we're busy - and why that's a mistakeSimple ways to shift your workspace and change your energy Why your brain generates better ideas when it has space to breathe - and how to give it thatConnect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you've ever wondered whether your sleep tracker is actually accurate, or whether meditation is doing anything measurable in your brain, this episode is for you.  Ariel Garten is the co-founder of Muse, the brain-sensing headband, and she's back on the show with a significant update on how the technology has evolved. The Muse Athena contains an entirely new technology called fNIRS that tracks real-time blood flow and oxygen delivery to your prefrontal cortex.We get into why wrist-based devices like Oura and Apple Watch can only ever estimate your sleep stages - because they're guessing from heart rate and movement, not brainwave data, whereas the Muse measures deep sleep at 94% accuracy compared to a clinical sleep lab. It's Deep Sleep Boost feature uses barely-audible pink noise pulses to increase the amount of time you spend in deep, restorative slow-wave sleep. We also go into ADHD territory. Both Ariel and I are diagnosed, and we talk about what neurofeedback and meditation training can do for focus, executive function, and the near-constant urge to abandon tasks halfway through.What you'll learnWhy wrist-based sleep trackers can't accurately measure deep sleep, and how EEG-based tracking changes the pictureWhat deep sleep actually does for your brain and body - and why it matters for memory, cognitive function, and reducing the risk of Alzheimer'sHow the Deep Sleep Boost feature uses tiny pink noise pulses synced to your delta waves to deepen your sleep (and why your bed partner won't even hear it)What your alpha peak frequency is, why it tends to decline with age, and how you can track and potentially maintain it through neurofeedbackWhat fNIRS technology is and why training your prefrontal cortex to demand more oxygen could be important for long-term brain healthHow Muse's neurofeedback and meditation tools can support focus, attention, and executive function - and what this means if you have ADHDThe full range of content in the Muse app, including over 500 guided sessions covering sleep, stress, relationships, focus, and moreHow the app's AI assistant, ENSO, can help you interpret your data, track trends over time, and find the right tools for your goalsResources mentionedMuse headband: www.choosemuse.com/(enter code cassdunn at checkout for 15% off)Previous episode with Ariel Garten (2019) https://www.crappytohappypod.com/wearable-technology-for-your-brain-with-ariel-garten/Beyond Confident 2.0 for Solopreneurs & Service Providers Open for enrolment NOW.Transform self-doubt & self-sabotage, rewire your nervous system for success, and do the inner healing work, while being supported to create a streamlined, profitable business that supports your lifestyle.www.cassdunn.com/bc2Connect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypodConnect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Working title was “How to Deal with Ar5eholes” but I thought Apple might ban me. After being evicted from our rental in the UK, I had to sell our house in Australia from the other side of the world. I did not expect the amount of conflict and tension I would have to manage (uncooperative tenants, RE agents not communicating and a selling agent in London applying pressure to meet an impossible deadline).Let’s just say I was not always my best self. 😐 I reacted emotionally, sent emails I shouldn’t have, and felt like I couldn’t trust anybody.Somewhere in the middle of it, while I was walking my dogs, where most of my better thinking happens, I realised there are useful lessons here, and they’ll be worth sharing once I’m through to the other side.Well, I’m through to the other side! The house is sold. And I’m sharing five things that helped me navigate a high-conflict period without losing my mind or my values in the process. These are my go-to strategies for dealing with difficult people, managing your own emotional reactivity, and staying true to who you want to be, even when other people are being complete dicks.What you’ll learn in this episode:The one question to ask yourself first when you’re angry at someone elseHow everyone -including the most difficult person in your life right now - is just trying to get their own needs met (and how understanding this can shift the whole dynamic)Why email and text are the worst ways to communicate when there’s tensionHow to hold your ground assertively and firmly without compromising your values and adding fuel to the fireThe woo woo things I do when I feel powerless and why it’s so helpful even if you don’t think it worksBeyond Confident 2.0 for Solopreneurs & Service Providers Open for enrolment NOW.Transform self-doubt & self-sabotage, rewire your nervous system for success, and do the inner healing work, while being supported to create a streamlined, profitable business that supports your lifestyle.www.cassdunn.com/bc2Connect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypodConnect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If sex has slowly disappeared from your life - or started to feel like something you dread rather than look forward to - and you're not sure whether to blame your hormones, your relationship, your exhaustion, or just yourself, this episode is going to help.My guest is Dr Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB/GYN and Menopause Society Certified Practitioner who has spent 30 years working with women on the clinical frontline of this exact problem. She's the author of the brand new book The Bedroom Gap, and the creator of a TED Talk on midlife sex that has now been watched over a million times.Maria coined the term "the bedroom gap" to describe the very real and very unspoken difference in sexual expectations and abilities between men and women in midlife. It's not just about low libido, but the physical changes happening in your body that nobody explains to you, the cultural messaging that tells women their discomfort doesn't matter, a medical system that created Viagra in 1998 but left women largely without equivalent solutions, and the shame that keeps so many of us from even raising the subject with our doctors.In this conversation, Maria breaks down the physiology of what oestrogen loss actually does to your vagina, your bladder, and your capacity for arousal . We talk about vaginal oestrogen, why it's safe for virtually every woman on the planet, and why so many women never get offered it; and what to say to your doctor when sexual symptoms aren't being addressed.In this episode, you'll learn:What "the bedroom gap" actually is and why it tends to widen so dramatically during perimenopause and menopauseWhat oestrogen loss is really doing to your body - and why pain and dryness during sex are physiological, not a personal failingWhy vaginal oestrogen is considered safe for virtually every woman but is still widely under-prescribedWhy your HRT patch or gel alone is often not enough for sexual and bladder symptoms, and what to ask for insteadHow Viagra, despite being a genuine breakthrough for some couples, also made the bedroom gap worse for a great many womenWhat the new FDA approval for female sexual desire actually means - and why it matters that it took this longThe real story on testosterone for women, why it's approved in Australia but not the US or UK, and what it can doHow porn has become the default sex educator for an entire generation,  and the resources Maria actually recommends insteadWhat to say when you want to start a conversation about sex with a long-term partner, a doctor, or your adult daughterResources mentioned:The Bedroom Gap by Dr Maria Sophocles - mariasophoclesmd.com/book/Dr Maria Sophocles' TED Talk: "What happens to sex in midlife? A look at the bedroom gap" - ted.com/speakers/maria_sophoclesOMGYES (sex education resource) - omgyes.comErica Lust TED Talk on female-forward adult content - search "Erica Lust TED Athens"Come As You Are by Emily NagoskiDr Maria Sophocles on Instagram: @MariaSophoclesMDDr Maria Sophocles on LinkedInBeyond Confident 2.0 for Solopreneurs & Service Providers Open for enrolment NOW.Transform self-doubt & self-sabotage, rewire your nervous system for success, and do the inner healing work, while being supported to create a streamlined, profitable business that supports your lifestyle.www.cassdunn.com/bc2Connect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypodConnect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We got evicted. The subsequent upheaval has revealed a lot to me about how my own nervous system patterns show up, especially when things feel uncertain or out of control. While my situation is personal, this experience is universal so in this ep, I'm sharing why our default stress response is often to push through, people please, overwork, or avoid decisions, even if we destroy ourselves in the process.Many of the behaviours we criticise ourselves for are actually safety strategies that we learned early to protect us when we feel emotionally unsafe. I break down the different nervous system stress responses and explain how they show up in everyday life, work, and relationships.Most importantly, I share why self awareness alone isn’t enough to create change, and why working with your nervous system, rather than against it, is essential if you want to feel calmer, more grounded, and more in control of your choices. What you’ll learn:How your nervous system prioritises safety over logic and long term goalsThe four main stress responses and how they show up in daily lifeWhy pushing through discomfort often keeps you stuckHow people pleasing, overworking, avoidance, and perfectionism developWhy insight doesn’t automatically translate into behaviour changeWhat it actually takes to make decisions from a calmer, more regulated placeIf you’ve ever wondered why you keep repeating patterns you’re very aware of, this episode will help you understand what’s really driving them, and where to begin if you want something to change.Beyond Confident 2.0 for Solopreneurs & Service Providers Open for enrolment NOW.Transform self-doubt & self-sabotage, rewire your nervous system for success, and do the inner healing work, while being supported to create a streamlined, profitable business that supports your lifestyle.www.cassdunn.com/bc2Connect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypodConnect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tiff Hall has been part of Crappy to Happy since the very beginning, and she's a woman who knows reinvention better than most. She spent a decade building a powerful, values-driven fitness brand, showing up through pregnancies, injuries, illness, body changes and enormous personal pressure. And then she made a decision that surprised many people, selling TXO to 28 by Sam Wood and stepping out of her CEO role.This is an honest conversation about identity, grief, relief, and the courage it takes to choose a new chapter even when the old one has been successful. We talk about the emotional impact of walking away from something you've poured your heart into, the backlash and disappointment from a community you genuinely love, and what happens when your capacity, your body, and your priorities shift.Tiff shares how motherhood changed her, why stepping back is not giving up, and how returning to her roots as a trainer has reconnected her to what she loves most. We also talk about comparison, social media pressure, running an online business as a woman, and what it means to grow in a way that is sustainable rather than impressive.What you’ll learn:What really goes on emotionally when you sell a business you built yourselfWhy stepping back can feel like grief and freedom at the same timeHow motherhood, injury, and illness reshaped Tiff’s relationship with fitnessThe hidden pressure of running a values-led business in a highly visible industryWhy being too accessible and too generous can clash with business sustainabilityHow comparison and social media exposure affect mental healthWhy choosing less can sometimes give you moreIf you’re in a season of questioning, scaling back, or reimagining what success looks like for you, you'll want to listen to this one.Train with Tiff on 28 by Sam Woodhttps://28bysamwood.com/Follow Tiff on IGwww.instagram.com/tiffhall_xoBeyond Confident 2.0 for Solopreneurs & Service Providers Open for enrolment NOW.Transform self-doubt & self-sabotage, rewire your nervous system for success, and do the inner healing work, while being supported to create a streamlined, profitable business that supports your lifestyle.www.cassdunn.com/bc2Connect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypodConnect with Cass:www.cassdunn.comwww.instagram.com/cassdunn_xoContact Crappy to Happy:Email: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.