WIDK 3-3: Don't Get Cremated; Become a Tool

Sorry that we've been gone so long. Here's something we recorded AGES ago, before the world caught on fire. We hope you enjoy the wild antics of this improvised fairytale. We will see you again soon, we promise. In the meantime: <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at [email protected], and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! All music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

Why is this audio file so long? The time from the last word of the statement to the last second of the track totals 8 minutes and 46 seconds. 8 minutes and 46 seconds doesn't sound like a long time until you are confronted with just how long it can drag on. 8 minutes and 46 seconds is how long it took to end George Floyd's life. At the Scavengers Network, we support the nationwide protests against police brutality; because Black Lives Matter. It is not enough to simply be “not racist”. You must be anti-racist. This is not a matter of “differing politics” nor is it something that is up for debate. This is about human and civil rights. We must make Black voices heard. Amplify and listen to Black voices. We have always been committed to using our platform to raise others up, and do what is right. Please, join us. These links have lists and resources for educating, donating, petition signing, and more: Black Lives Matter Carrd Justice for June

<h4>Fishstick's Top Pick Topics:</h4> DESCRIPTION <h4>The Brofessor's Life De-Stresser:</h4> DESCRIPTION <h4>Lulu's Viewer Reviews / Lulu's Koo-Koo Guru Hullabaloo:</h4> DESCRIPTION <h4>Seabreeze's Winds of Change / Surfin' with Seabreeze:</h4> DESCRIPTION Badvertisements: AD 1 - x AD 2 - x AD 3 - x Real Promotion: x <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at [email protected], and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! Intro/Outro music lovingly crafted by Ian G. Any featured songs used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

<h4>Books' Nook:</h4> Learn some gift-giving techniques from our friends over in Russia! <h4>Burnie's Bunk Buster:</h4> Burnie dives deep into the conspiracy that John Lennon was actually killed by Stephen King. <h4>DJ Dyson Vacuum's Comment Cyclone:</h4> DJ Dyson Vacuum combed through the fibres of the internet to bring us the highlights of the worst reviews on the entire interwebs. <h4>Screech Preech:</h4> Screech sheds some light on the best film in the history of cinematography, storytelling, lighting, sparkling, vampirism, and all the other categories: Twighlight. Can she convert the rest of the crew? Badvertisements: Scroasis - Colin Parker Curse of the Obtuse Ball - Colin Parker Chia Dad - Unnatural 20's Real Promotion: Finish It! <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at [email protected], and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! Intro/Outro music lovingly crafted by Ian G. Any featured songs used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

<h4>Fishstick's Top Pick Topics: </h4> Another battle for species superiority, this time in the "pest" world. Would you rather be one of the largest disease vectors for rabies, or one of the most commonly disliked houseguests?! <h4>The Brofessor's Life De-Stresser:</h4> In attempting to solve a bladder-related issue on long drives, the crew invents a new feature that you will soon find standard on all new cars. Piss-steam be damned! <h4>Lulu's Koo-Koo Guru Hullabaloo:</h4> Somehow Lulu manages to make the transition from sweater preferences to relationship preferences, and it all... makes sense? The best friends are the kind that shrink in the wash I guess. <h4>SeaBreeze's Winds of Change:</h4> When you do a fast fooding, do you drive through? Or go in? If you think the answer is obvious, then you need this segment more than anyone else, because the gang gives some compelling reasons for the contrary! (BTW that sponsor link was bit.ly/widktushy) Badvertisements: SIN-atra - WIDK Real Play-Kids of Preschool - WIDK Instant Airplane - We Need To Talk Real Promotion: Journey Under 30 <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at [email protected], and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! Intro/Outro music lovingly crafted by Ian G. Any featured songs used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

<h4>Fishstick's Top Pick Topics:</h4> It's a big question. One that we will all have to answer, or burden others with if we dont: what should the people who love you do with all your meat when you dead? The gang has some inventive solutions for you. <h4>The Brofessor's Life De-Stresser:</h4> It's a rehash of episode 21, and the gang creates new swear words again - this time with accompanying gesticulations! <h4>Lulu's Viewer Reviews:</h4> The Brofessor may regret this one, but the scissors he brought in were a thing of beauty. A true example of what most fabric tools can aspire to be. <h4>Surfin' with SeaBreeze:</h4> In the debut of yet another bi-weekly segment, SeaBreeze brings the gang to a dark corner of reddit known as r/fedlegs. She ends up accidentally playing porn on her phone, in case you get confused. Badvertisements: Teen Lawyer - Crossroads Minute Spackle - WIDK Paige Turner - WIDK Real Promotion: Alabaster's Haberdashery <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at [email protected], and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! Intro/Outro music lovingly crafted by Ian G. Any featured songs used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

<h4>Fishstick's Top Pick Topics:</h4> George D asked how we could make a funeral as anti-boomer as possible. The crew certainly delivered, in the most shamefully ageist and millenial ways possible. <h4>The Brofessor's Life De-Stresser:</h4> A question as old as time. Pancakes, or waffles? More importantly, Fishstick seems unconcerned about his familial desecration of breakfast foods by utilizing both ketchup AND syrup in tandem. <h4>Lulu's Koo-Koo Guru Hullabaloo:</h4> The crew takes an astral projection journey to a beachscape. It very quickly turns into an inescapable hell of bad decisions and poor imagination. <h4>SeaBreeze's Winds of Change:</h4> In the debut of Seabreeze's new segment, the gang attempts to change her mind about listening to Lizzo exclusively. Spoiler, they do not succeed. However, that's not for a lack of trying. It seems Seabz has a very...unique situation. Also the Brofessor abuses music it turns out. Badvertisements: Auntie Karen's Wedding Emporium - WIDK Sloosh Bucket - WIDK Stair Simulator 2020: Big Apple Edition - Jordan Reed Real Promotion: Shelley Has Opinions <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at [email protected], and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! Intro/Outro music lovingly crafted by Ian G. Any featured songs used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

Some behind the scenes restructuring has resulted in a very interesting interview process, to which you are now exposed. You're welcome. Thanks for waiting us out on this hiatus, and we hope you continue to support us moving forward in this new season after this big change! Real Promotion: JACK BILLINGS PRESENTS: Me and My Neighbor Michael <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at [email protected], and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! Intro/Outro music lovingly crafted by Ian G. Any featured songs used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

<h4>Fishstick's Top Pick Topics: [02:28]</h4> Which Pokemon starter would make the best BREAD starter? Is Pikachu a starter!? <h4>The Brofessor's Life De-Stresser: [09:13]</h4> Someone, against all good judgement, professes their infatuation with Mulch. The gang proceeds to take him back down a peg. <h4>Lulu's Koo-Koo Guru Hullabaloo: [15:50]</h4> Sponsored by Flying Crow Coffee Co. Use promo code “WIDK10” to save 10% "Happy Holidays" is too overused and not inclusive enough. The gang tries to come up with a better alternative, but all Fishstick seems concerned with is monetization. <h4>Mulch's News Garden: [29:10]</h4> A stupid exercise bike advertisement turns into a full-on roast of The Brofessor for his impulse purchase of a $120 vegetable chopper Badvertisements: Friend For Hire - WIDK Plexiglass Houses - Side Character Quest Opium Laxatives - WIDK Real Promotion: Jack Billings Presents: Me and My Neighbor Michael <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at [email protected], and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! Intro/Outro music lovingly crafted by Ian G. Any featured songs used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

<h4>Fishstick's Top Pick Topics: [03:02]</h4> Sponsored by Ballsy Jolly Jewels Sack Pack. SAVE 15% on your order with promo code "WIDK"! A simple question. Time tested, honey roasted, and hot off the grill... Bacon: Floppy Or Crispy? The gang gets REAAAALLL into it on this one. <h4>The Brofessor's Life De-Stresser: [13:08]</h4> THERE ARE CATERPILLARS IN YOUR BUTT THERE ARE CATERPILLARS IN YOUR BUTT THERE ARE CATERPILLARS IN YOUR BUTT THERE ARE CATERPILLARS IN YOUR BUTT THERE ARE CATERPILLARS IN YOUR BUTT THERE ARE CATERPILLARS IN YOUR BUTT THERE ARE CATERPILLA <h4>Lulu's Viewer Reviews: [18:49]</h4> Sponsored by Flying Crow Coffee Co. Everyone knows it, but it takes a certain type of person to say it: Books are always better than the movies made of them. The gang tries roleplaying this situation from various angles to explore the crevices of pretentiousness. <h4>Mulch's News Garden: [28:52]</h4> A Canadian dude hit a coyote, thought it was a dog, and took it to the cheese factory where he worked. Presumably to show it to Paul who does not care and simply wishes to be left alone with the Gouda. Badvertisements: Medieval Marty's - Side Character Quest Bigfoot - WIDK Book Mark - Side Character Quest Podcast Promotion: Hypothetical: A What If? Podcast <h4>We need your submissions! Send us stuff at Our Website, and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK.</h4> Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment! Intro/Outro music lovingly crafted by Ian G. Any featured songs used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! Check out our DOPE NEW WEBSITE! Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!