On the Road Again...

What happens when you combine Burning Man with a hurricane, ebola, and psychadelics? Horse-sized, man-eating ducks.

Skynet is online...

Road Trippin and Fart Rippin fellow dads, Shane and Kyle discuss oxymoronical landmarks, road trip tropes, classic dad travel moves, and fast food restaurants on this entirely Road Trip themed episode! In the end, there is nothing we want more than Five Guys' large meat in our mouths.

On this episode, prepare to be haunted by the world you thought you knew. The only thing that could have prepared you for this is stuff you didn't know or care to learn. On this episode, the librarian is the monster in your closet. Be mortified and bow before the bookmaster. Or, if you think she's hot, she may just let you swipe your library card, if you're on the same page as me.................

"I've got tiger blood in my veins. I'm bi-twinning." ~ our personal hero, Charlie Sheen

You finally can afford to buy a home for your family. After painstakingly making your way through the process of obtaining a mortgage, it is finally moving day.  Keys in hand, you simply cannot believe you are about to step foot in your new home in Rancho Viejo, California. You step inside and as you walk through the new house, you see adults dressed as animals and princesses greeting you around every corner. You are caught off guard by this. You thought no one was living in this home, but apparently you are wrong. You call the police in fear. They come to the scene to confront the trespassers. They enter the home and then return outside. They report to you that indeed there is nobody living inside. Comforted, you start carrying in boxes and furniture. You make your way to the basement and smell something rank. You can't figure out what it is until you examine the crawl space of the basement. There lies the bodies of the costumed adults you thought you saw earlier. Your gut was right, there was nobody LIVING in the house.  You get the coroner and police and EMS over to take care of the situation. As you are waiting them to exhume the bodies, you greet your neighbors. All of the neighbors act as though in a hypnotic state. They all wear tattered clothing and that's when it hits you, your neighbors look exactly like the dead adults you saw in the crawl space. You sprint to your car and start it and speed out of the driveway. You get close to exit of the community and WHAM! Your car hits a wall, but it's invisible. Strange. You drive to the other end of the community: WHAM! It happens again. You drive in a circle to every end and corner of the community and WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! You appear to be locked in, with no way to escape.  You just need peace of mind, so you turn on the radio. "When You Wish Upon a Star" comes on. You turn the station. "When You Wish Upon a Star in the style of Nirvana" plays. Turn the knob. "When You Wish Upon a Star in the style of Andrea Bocelli" plays. You cannot escape. You are trapped in this community, in your mind, in your thoughts, with crazy, hypnotic, costumed adults offering creepy hugs for "photo ops."  This is your life now. Nowhere to go, everyone looks and acts the same. It truly is a Small World after all.

The future is here: flying cars, progressive M&Ms, crazy educational ideas. We use our Logic to break it all down.

UFOs, an earth without its core, the rise of the Fourth Reich. You thought this was a random list of strange ideas? Wrong. They all tie together more shockingly than you may initially expect.

Whether the deodorant makes your nose hairs burn or the only burn you feel is in your biceps after a heavy set of reps, you can always be cooled down with a refreshing (and inaugural) episode of What's the Plan?  Also known as your new favorite podcast.