Stephan Speaks: Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Person, and How to Stop

Relationship coach Stephan Speaks joins Richard Taite to explain why healing, not chemistry, is what makes love last, and why so many of us keep choosing the wrong partner.Stephan Speaks is a bestselling author, certified relationship coach, and speaker whose advice reaches millions through his videos, coaching, and his book The Man God Has for You.In this episode: why unhealed pain drives bad partner choices, why chemistry can blind you to red flags instead of warning you about them, why women need to feel safe before they can fully show up in a relationship, and why couples who never define their roles set themselves up for conflict down the road. Plus, what's really driving the decline in marriage today, and why understanding the root of a behavior matters more than demanding someone change.Before the interview, Richard shares an update on his partnership with the CDC Foundation's COPE (Community Overdose Prevention Efforts) campaign, matching every donation dollar for dollar up to $25,000. Learn more or give at cdcfoundation.org/cope.Find Stephan Speaks: YouTube, Facebook and Instagram @StephanSpeaks, or shop at stephanspeakshop.comExplore more about Richard Taite, We're Out of Time, and Carrara Treatment Wellness & Spa: https://linktr.ee/richardtaiteNew episodes every Tuesday. Follow the show so you never miss one.

What if we've been approaching addiction treatment all wrong?Richard Taite sits down with Dr. Jonathan Avery, Vice Chair for Addiction Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine and Medical Director of the NBA's anti-drug program, for one of the most honest and wide-ranging conversations about addiction medicine we've had on this show.They tackle whether "substance use disorder" is the right language or whether owning the word "addict" actually helps more people heal, what modern psychiatry still gets catastrophically wrong about addiction, why social media and sports betting are becoming the most dangerous addictions of our era, and what working with NBA players has taught Dr. Avery about recovery that no textbook ever could.Dr. Avery is the author of the upcoming Thriving with Addiction and host of the Thriving with Addiction podcast. Find him and the free SAFE family support program at Weill Cornell by searching his name.New episodes of We're Out of Time drop every Tuesday on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.

Overdose deaths have touched nearly every community in America — and this episode, released for Overdose Awareness Month, brings on two women working from inside the system to change that. Host Richard Taite sits down with Dr. Judy Monroe, President & CEO of the CDC Foundation, and Terri Perez, JD, a public health analyst and former deputy district attorney of 31 years, for a conversation about why overdose prevention has to be treated as a public health issue, not just a criminal justice one.Dr. Monroe explains what the CDC Foundation actually is and how it differs from the CDC itself, shares stories from her early career as a rural physician in Appalachia, and walks through a real public health investigation that stopped a multi-state outbreak before it made headlines. Terri Perez brings a rare dual perspective — decades prosecuting narcotics cases in San Diego, and her own family's experience with addiction and recovery. Together they talk about stigma, the partnership between law enforcement and public health, harm reduction on the ground, the new drug trends they're watching most closely, and what ordinary people can do in their own communities.This episode is part of the CDC Foundation's Community Overdose Prevention Efforts (COPE) campaign. Richard is matching every donation dollar for dollar, up to $25,000, to help expand education, strengthen communities, and give more people a chance to get help before a crisis becomes a tragedy. To learn more or donate, visit: cdcfoundation.org/COPEIf someone you know is struggling, One Call Placement can help, affiliated with Carrara Treatment, Wellness & Spa and 1 Method Centers.

Dr. Kent Berridge spent 40 years at the University of Michigan asking why people keep chasing things that stopped making them happy. He's the neuroscientist who discovered that dopamine isn't pleasure, it's wanting, and his research changed how addiction science understands craving.Richard sits down with Berridge to break down the wanting versus liking theory, why some people develop sensitized cravings and others don't, and why a smell, a street, or a song can trigger an urge years after someone gets sober. Richard brings 25 years of his own recovery experience to test the science in real time. They cover genetics and vulnerability, GLP-1 medications and craving reduction, why people tend to gravitate toward one substance over another, and what Berridge's rat studies reveal about how the brain assigns addiction to a specific target.A conversation for anyone trying to understand the neuroscience behind compulsive behavior, whether it shows up as substance use, food, gambling, or something else entirely.If you or someone you love is dealing with substance use, One Call Placement can help you find the right resource. Call (888) 831-1581.New episodes every Tuesday. Follow We're Out of Time so you never miss one.

Some people survive adversity. Nick Lavery went back for more.Richard Taite sits down with Chief Warrant Officer Nick Lavery, an active-duty Green Beret, Silver Star recipient, and the first above-the-knee amputee in history to return to combat with a U.S. Army Special Forces team. After losing his leg in Afghanistan in 2013 during the most catastrophic insider attack of the Global War on Terror, Nick refused a medical retirement, spent a year recovering at Walter Reed, passed a grueling 15-week assessment, and deployed back to Afghanistan for full-spectrum combat operations.Nick and Richard talk about rebuilding identity after loss, how faith carried him through recovery, why veterans struggle to ask for help, the double edge of the warrior mindset, and what he learned from losing nearly a dozen brothers in combat — and three times that number outside of it. Nick also opens up about retiring after 20 years of service, the identity crisis that follows when the uniform comes off, and building his next chapter through MCHN, the human performance company he founded.Nick is the founder of MCHN, CEO of Precision Components LLC, and bestselling author of Objective Secure: The Battle-Tested Guide to Goal Achievement.Richard Taite is one of the foremost experts on addiction in the United States. He lost 25 years to addiction before achieving 21 years of sobriety — an experience that drives his work helping others through it.“We’re Out Of Time” dives into the issues America can’t afford to ignore — addiction, mental health, parenting, resilience, and hope. Raw truth, real stories, life-saving conversations.Learn more about Nick Lavery: https://mchn.co/ & https://www.precisioncomponentsllc.com/More on Richard Taite and Carrara Treatment Wellness & Spa: https://linktr.ee/richardtaitehttps://www.wereoutoftime.com/

Nobody warns you how hard stepfamily life really is. And almost nobody teaches you how to do it well.Richard Taite sits down with Dr. Patricia Papernow, one of the world's leading experts on stepfamily dynamics and author of Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships, for an honest, research-backed conversation about why blended families struggle — and what actually works.Dr. Papernow breaks down the five structural challenges every stepfamily faces, what loyalty binds do to kids caught between parents, why disciplining too early backfires, and why "connection before correction" is the most important principle any stepparent can follow. Richard opens up about his own experience and the two have a candid, sometimes funny conversation about what kids need — and why the gap between that and what stepparents need is where most blended families break down.👉 Subscribe for raw, honest, and inspiring conversations —new episodes every week. 🔗 Explore more about Richard Taite, We’re Out of Time, and Carrara Treatment Wellness & Spa: ⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/richardtaite⁠🔗 Learn more about Dr. Papernow: https://stepfamilyrelationships.com/

What does it mean to be Ethiopian, Israeli, and American — all at once?Richard Taite sits down with Tali Aynalem, a former IDF soldier, Ethiopian Israeli American writer, and social media influencer whose videos about Jewish identity, Israel, and history have reached millions.Tali shares her remarkable story: growing up in Israel, moving to Oregon at age 10, serving in the IDF as an admin worker with the Givati Brigade combat unit stationed along the Gaza Strip, Golan Heights, and Judea and Samaria, and returning to the United States — before October 7th changed everything.She and Richard discuss what it felt like to lose close friends overnight to ideology, why she finally decided to speak out, how she stays optimistic in a climate of rising antisemitism, and what she believes the world gets wrong about Israel and Jewish identity.Tali also opens up about her new Substack, her decision to date exclusively within the Jewish community, and why she believes being Jewish — proudly, openly, and without apology — is the only answer to the moment we're in.Follow Tali Aynalem on Instagram and subscribe to her Substack for weekly essays on Jewish identity, history, and culture.New episodes of We're Out of Time drop every Tuesday on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.

What if you looked completely successful on the outside—but were silently suffering on the inside?Clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and TEDx speaker Dr. Margaret Rutherford joins Richard Taite to explore one of the most overlooked mental health challenges of our time: Perfectly Hidden Depression.Together, they discuss why high-achieving people often hide emotional pain behind perfectionism, how toxic positivity keeps people from healing, and what emotional transparency really looks like. Richard also shares his own recovery journey and what it took to stop hiding behind success.Dr. Rutherford is the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression and the companion workbook. Her TEDx talk, How to Recognize Perfectly Hidden Depression, has been viewed more than 2 million times.Learn more about Dr. Margaret Rutherford: https://drmargaretrutherford.comExplore more from Richard Taite and We're Out of Time: https://linktr.ee/richardtaite

On this episode of We're Out of Time, host Richard Taite sits down with Dr. Alex Howard, internationally recognized trauma therapist, author, and founder of the Optimum Health Clinic, for a raw, deeply personal conversation about childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and the long road to healing.Dr. Howard opens up about his own teenage years living with a debilitating chronic illness, the conversation with his uncle that changed the trajectory of his life, and how that experience shaped two decades of work helping people heal from trauma and nervous system patterns. Richard and Alex dig into the difference between the trauma that happened to us and the patterns we built to survive it, why "it's not your fault" doesn't mean "it's not your responsibility," and how even loving, well-meaning parents can leave emotional needs unmet.The conversation moves through both men's complicated relationships with their own fathers, what it means to parent differently than you were parented, and how healing as an adult means learning to give yourself what you didn't receive as a child.Dr. Howard is the author of It's Not Your Fault: Why Childhood Trauma Shapes You and How to Break Free, and his work has reached millions through his books, online programs, and his YouTube series In Therapy with Dr. Alex Howard, where he films real therapeutic sessions. Learn more about at alexhoward.com.If someone you know is dealing with life's hardest challenges, share this episode — the right conversation at the right time can change everything.

On this episode of We're Out of Time, host Richard Taite sits down with Dr. Alex Howard, internationally recognized trauma therapist, author, and founder of the Optimum Health Clinic, for a raw, deeply personal conversation about childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and the long road to healing.Dr. Howard opens up about his own teenage years living with a debilitating chronic illness, the conversation with his uncle that changed the trajectory of his life, and how that experience shaped two decades of work helping people heal from trauma and nervous system patterns. Richard and Alex dig into the difference between the trauma that happened to us and the patterns we built to survive it, why "it's not your fault" doesn't mean "it's not your responsibility," and how even loving, well-meaning parents can leave emotional needs unmet.The conversation moves through both men's complicated relationships with their own fathers, what it means to parent differently than you were parented, and how healing as an adult means learning to give yourself what you didn't receive as a child. Dr. Howard is the author of It's Not Your Fault: Why Childhood Trauma Shapes You and How to Break Free, and his work has reached millions through his books, online programs, and his YouTube series In Therapy with Dr. Alex Howard, where he films real therapeutic sessions. Learn more about Dr. Alex Howard at alexhoward.com.If someone you know is dealing with life's hardest challenges, share this episode — the right conversation at the right time can change everything.