Why Safety Matters More Than Libido - with Natalie | E. 158

In Part 2 of David’s story, he opens up about the early days of his marriage and the life event that triggered a sharp decline in their sex life. He remembers feeling lonely but not fully understanding why. Although he and his wife had many conversations about what she was experiencing, her perspective never quite clicked for him.That changed when she began listening to Janna’s podcast and finally found the words to explain what she was feeling. Once David started listening to other people’s stories, the pieces began to fall into place. He realized he had carried negative patterns into their marriage—patterns that blocked true intimacy and emotional safety. In this episode, David reflects on what he learned, not only as a therapist but also as a husband.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

David, a Mexican American, grew up navigating the influence of two cultures—his Hispanic, Catholic upbringing and the American, white culture around him. He describes his Hispanic roots as warm, physical, and affectionate, yet completely silent when it came to conversations about sex. While his parents assured him he could talk to them about anything, the unspoken rule was clear: sex was a taboo topic.At just eight years old, David discovered his father’s hidden pornography stash. That early exposure deeply shaped his perceptions of women and his ideas about what relationships should look like. Years later, when he met his wife in college, the hidden pressures and distorted beliefs he carried began to strain their intimacy. It wasn’t until he joined Janna’s program that David finally began to recognize—and untangle—the negative effects of those early experiences.Tune in next week to hear Part 2 of David's story. Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

When Natalie met her husband, they clicked instantly. After marriage, their sex life was good at first, but over time her desire began to fade. Things worsened after having kids—she describes her husband’s advances as “feeling like another need to fill.” He urged her to “fix” her low libido, but deep down, she knew it wasn’t her hormones that needed repairing. Something felt off, though she couldn’t quite pinpoint it—she just knew his advances left her feeling gross and cringy.Around this time, Natalie discovered Janna’s podcast and immediately recognized what had been missing in her relationship: safety. Through the Doing It Together program, she felt validated and reassured that her instincts had been right all along. As her trust in her intuition grew, she and her husband uncovered behaviours that had been off-base. Now, they’re working together to create a safer, healthier space for both of them.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

In Part 2 of John’s story, he shares how he met his wife online and how quickly their relationship progressed. They moved in together almost immediately, and he describes their sex life early on as “frequent, enjoyable, and exciting.” But over time, the honeymoon phase faded. Their sexual connection began to feel like something they should do, rather than something they wanted to do.Even though they shared a deep emotional bond, John started questioning whether he was in the right relationship. He made efforts to reignite the spark—planning date nights, giving massages, even trying to schedule intimacy—but the distance between them only grew as he gradually pulled away.Sensing the shift, his wife suggested they listen to some of Janna’s podcasts together. That led them to join Doing It Together, and for John, it was eye-opening. He began to recognize how deeply cultural conditioning had shaped both of their experiences. He now understands that “fixing” their sex life isn’t just about physical connection—it’s about healing and growing together on multiple levels.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

As a teenager, John felt uneasy about the new sensations of arousal in his changing body. He wasn’t sure how to handle them, which led to persistent discomfort, performance anxiety, and awkward early attempts at intimacy with girls.During his university years, John moved past some of his self-doubt—but his behavior in relationships took a troubling turn. He describes feeling like he was “trying to make up for lost time,” and admits he didn’t treat his girlfriends with the respect they deserved. Even though it felt awful, he found himself cheating and sabotaging his relationships.In this episode, Janna and John unpack those complicated feelings and explore what was really driving his actions.Tune in next week for Part 2 of John’s story.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

When Andrea met her husband, they shared an instant connection. She describes their early intimacy as “fun, easy, and pressure-free.” But after they got married, things began to shift. Sex became complicated, and Andrea started to wonder if something was wrong with her. She found herself checking the calendar, counting the days, and feeling her anxiety grow.On the outside, their relationship looked perfect—but behind closed doors, the tension was building. They tried individual counseling, couples therapy, and Andrea read endlessly about low libido in women, searching for answers. But nothing changed… until she found Janna.For the first time, Andrea was introduced to a different perspective—one where intimacy could look and feel entirely new. Hear what she discovered, and why she calls Janna’s Doing It Together program truly life-changing.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

Andrea, now 37, grew up in the 1990s, shaped by the influence of pop icons like Britney Spears and the Spice Girls. Back then, “girl power” looked like tube tops, perfect hair, and using every ounce of energy to grab—and most importantly, keep—the attention of boys.As a teenager, Andrea poured her focus into chasing male approval. But when the attention finally came, and kissing or more was expected to maintain it, the magic disappeared. The chase felt exhausting, and the physical side of things felt more like a performance than pleasure. Deep down, she wasn’t enjoying any of it. Confused and disappointed, Andrea started to wonder if something was wrong with her.Tune in next week for Part 2 of Andrea’s story—where things start to shift.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

In Part 2 of her episode, Shannon opens up about the next chapter of her story. After meeting her husband, she eagerly took the lead in their relationship—from their first kiss to exploring intimacy together. Remaining a virgin until marriage was deeply important to her, so they waited until their wedding night to have intercourse.But the moment she had waited for her entire life turned out to be excruciatingly painful—and the pain didn’t go away. For two years, Shannon silently endured, until she was finally diagnosed with vulvodynia, a chronic condition causing pain around the vulva. What was supposed to be a joyful part of marriage became a painful obligation. She was overwhelmed with guilt and shame, feeling as though she had failed as a wife.Eventually, she found an incredible pelvic floor specialist who helped relieve much of the physical pain—but the emotional and sexual disconnection lingered. Despite her efforts, she still didn’t feel desire. Over the next 20 years, they struggled. A sex therapist left Shannon feeling blamed and broken. They even tried visiting sex clubs, hoping that new experiences might reignite her interest. Nothing worked, and Shannon sank into depression.Then she found Janna.For the first time, Shannon felt truly seen, heard, and understood. With Janna’s support, her relationship has completely transformed. Now, Shannon looks forward to the next 20 years with her husband—hopeful, empowered, and finally at peace.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

Shannon grew up in a conservative Christian household during the 1990s, at the height of the purity culture movement. At just 14 years old, she signed a contract pledging to remain a virgin until marriage.Now, Shannon shares what she was taught during that time, how she navigated the strict “rules” meant to preserve her so-called purity, and how those experiences have shaped the way she now talks to her 10-year-old daughter—especially in light of what she’s learned from Janna.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.

Jess and her husband went through a slow but steady decline in intimacy, eventually reaching a point where they hadn't had sex for years. While her husband assumed she had no interest, Jess thought about it constantly—carrying deep feelings of shame and guilt. They never spoke about it, and Jess felt completely stuck, unsure of how to move forward.Then Jess discovered Janna’s podcast. She listened quietly for over a year before she ever mentioned it to her husband. She was drawn to Janna’s Wanting It More Foundations course for women, hoping to better understand why she had grown to dislike sex—and to begin figuring out what she might actually enjoy.The course gave her the words and insights she had been missing. For the first time, Jess realized she had no real understanding of what felt good to her—she had always been focused on other people’s needs and feelings instead of her own. With this new awareness, she was finally able to have an open, honest conversation with her husband.Together, they decided to take the Doing It Together course. Now, they’re learning how Jess can reconnect with herself and how her husband can support her in that journey.Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more couples.