Ep. 60: Healing Shame

Watch the full episode by subscribing to our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapyIn this episode, two dudes return to their very first topic of shame. They first discuss what shame actually looks and feels like to experience and then go into the impact of this kind of experience. The process of healing shame is also discussed in great detail. Other nuances like complex trauma and neurodivergence is also a critical point of this talk. Hope you all like the conversation and thanks for the support as usual! #shame #psychology #therapy

For the full episode, subscribe to our Patreon: patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapyIn the episode, both the origins and development of the Fawn response are discussed in detail. More speicifically it is reviewed how the Fawn response, like many other trauma responses oritinate in childhood for good reason, but go on to activate in spaces that are no longer necessary in adulthood. Strategies for healing and navigating the fawn response are also discussed. If you can take the time to like and subscribe it would be highly appreciated as it's a huge help to our channel --Jacob.#fawnresponse #traumahealing #therapy #psychology

In this episode we talk about difficult it is to rewire the nervous system after experiences of trauma, and after go right into pretty quickly how to go about healing despite these difficulties. During the episode, you'll learn how the nervous system works like a meaning maker and prediction model in order to optimize reality. Unfortunately, after trauma, the prediction model is optimized towards the threats that are often no longer there. The goal then in rewiring the nervous system is to identify how the way your nervous system interprets reality is no longer serving you. Space is also made for those who have been putting in great amounts of effort to heal and yet find the process slow and sometimes discouraging. Many wonder "how long am I going to be stuck this way, no matter how hard I try I still find myself stuck". In this video Dr. Vincent and I both give our answer to those stuck in this kind of experience. Finally methods for healing and encouragements to take this into treatment with your provider are given at the end of the episode. If you've read this far, first thanks for the interest. I hand-wrote this myself so it's actually really appreciated. If you can go on to like, subscribe, and share this video with one person we'd highly appreciate as it helps get our content to spread out a bit more to more people. Anyways, hope you enjoy the epsiode and take care-- Dr. Jacob#nervoussystemhealing #traumahealing #healingjourney #psychologypodcast #psychology #therapy

Full episode is only available on patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapy⁠In this episode, Dr. Vincent Barbieri and Dr. Jacob Ambrose describe the impact of being self-aware as it relates to mental health and interpersonal relationships. A theme that is reviewed repeatedly is how excessive self-awareness can disrupt trauma processing, as it allows individuals to intellectualize their concerns and appear vulnerable while avoiding vulnerability altogether. Additionally healing despite the avoidance is discussed in great detail in the full episode. Make sure to tune in!

🎙️ Watch the full episode and access exclusive bonus content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapyIn this episode of Two Dudes Talkin’ Therapy, psychologists Dr. Jacob Ambrose (Dr. Jay) and Dr. Vincent Barbieri (Dr. V) explore the psychology of limerence, its connection to childhood emotional neglect and ADHD, and why we can become obsessed with people who are emotionally unavailable or unattainable.Why does limerence feel so addictive? Why can imagining a relationship sometimes feel more exciting than actually being in one? And why do people with ADHD sometimes experience such intense romantic fixation?Together, Dr. Jay and Dr. V discuss how unmet emotional needs, idealization, hyperfocus, and the anticipation of intimacy can contribute to limerence. Through relatable metaphors involving water in a desert, steak, and even a bag of Oreos, they explain why the fantasy of love can sometimes become more compelling than genuine connection.Most importantly, they explore how understanding these patterns can become the first step toward healing limerence and developing healthier, more fulfilling relationships.Chapters:00:00 Intro: What Is Limerence?03:22 Childhood Emotional Neglect & Limerence04:26 The Water in the Desert Analogy07:23 ADHD and Limerence08:46 Concept vs. Reality: The Steak Metaphor10:33 Why Limerence Feels Safe11:53 Don Draper: A Case Study in Limerence13:21 What a Real Relationship Looks Like14:58 The Oreo Prop: Dopamine & Anticipation17:26 The Dark Side of Limerence18:53 Parasocial Relationships as Limerence21:14 Healing BeginsAbout the HostsDr. Jacob Ambrose (Dr. Jay) and Dr. Vincent Barbieri (Dr. V) are psychologists and co-hosts of Two Dudes Talkin’ Therapy, a podcast exploring ADHD, trauma, attachment, relationships, and the psychology behind human behavior.DISCLAIMER: This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The discussion reflects clinical perspectives and psychological concepts; not all proposed connections between limerence, ADHD, and childhood trauma are established causal relationships. Please consult a qualified mental health professional for individualized guidance.#Limerence #ADHD #ChildhoodEmotionalNeglect #AttachmentStyles #Relationships #Psychology #TwoDudesTalkinTherapy

Why does rejection hurt so much when you have ADHD? And why can even the smallest signs of disapproval send you into a spiral of overthinking, shame, and self-doubt?In this episode of Two Dudes Talkin' Therapy, clinical psychologists Dr. Jacob Ambrose (Dr. Jay) and Dr. Vincent Barbieri (Dr. V) explore Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), the connection between ADHD and childhood rejection, and how to heal from years of feeling misunderstood.From emotional neglect and people-pleasing to anxious attachment, masking, and emotional dysregulation, we explore why people with ADHD may become especially sensitive to rejection — and why healing involves more than simply learning to tolerate criticism.We also introduce an important distinction: separating your ADHD wiring from the wounds you've developed along the way.Because healing isn't about changing who you are. It's about learning to accept your differences without carrying the shame that may have developed around them.CHAPTERS00:00 Why Rejection Hurts So Much With ADHD00:42 What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)?01:30 Why ADHD Can Make Rejection Feel More Intense04:07 How Childhood Rejection Leads to ADHD Masking06:43 The Hidden Signs of Rejection You Might Be Missing08:00 ADHD, Emotional Neglect & Childhood Shame09:31 Why People With ADHD Feel Like Something Is Wrong With Them11:16 Separating ADHD Wiring From Childhood Wounds14:00 The ADHD Brain Explained: Train vs. Car18:27 Why People With ADHD Struggle With Self-Acceptance20:51 ADHD Masking, People-Pleasing & Fear of Rejection25:53 How to Manage Emotional Dysregulation With ADHD28:37 ADHD, Anxious Attachment & Relationship Anxiety29:15 Avoidant Attachment, ADHD & Fear of Vulnerability31:15 How ADHD and Anxious Attachment Connect to Limerence33:49 Why Healing Rejection Sensitivity Starts With Self-Acceptance35:48 How to Stop Rejecting Yourself and Start HealingCONNECT WITH USWatch more episodes and access exclusive content on Patreon 👉 https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapySubscribe for more conversations about ADHD, complex trauma, attachment, emotional neglect, and healing.DISCLAIMERThis podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is a commonly used descriptive term and is not a standalone DSM-5-TR diagnosis. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional for individualized guidance.#ADHD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RSD

Full Episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapyDr. Vincent Barbieri and Dr. Jacob Ambrose are licensed psychologists who explore trauma, attachment, relationships, ADHD, and emotional development on Two Dudes Talkin’ Therapy.In this episode, they break down childhood emotional neglect—one of the most invisible forms of childhood trauma—and explain how growing up without emotional attunement can shape your identity, relationships, and ability to trust your own emotions as an adult.Why do some people intellectualize everything they feel? Why can intimacy feel like something you have to earn? Why do some people lose themselves in relationships or feel drawn toward emotionally unavailable partners? Vincent and Jacob explore how these patterns can develop, why they often make sense in the context of childhood, and what healing can actually look like.Chapters:[00:50] Defining Emotional Neglect and Pain[04:35] How Emotional Neglect Shapes Your Sense of Self[08:00] Intellectualization: When You Learn to Live in Your Head[13:30] How Childhood Neglect Shows Up in Adult Relationships[19:00] How to Heal Childhood Emotional NeglectChildhood emotional neglect is often difficult to identify because it is defined less by what happened and more by what was missing.A child may have had food, shelter, education, and caregivers who appeared functional from the outside, while still growing up without the emotional attunement needed to feel understood, protected, and free to experience their natural emotions.Vincent and Jacob discuss how children develop a sense of self in relationship to other people. Through processes such as affect mirroring, caregivers help children understand what they are feeling and teach them that their emotional experience makes sense. When that reflection is absent, inconsistent, or met with emotional distance, a child may begin to suppress their natural reactions in order to preserve connection.Over time, this can affect the development of identity.Rather than learning, “This is what I feel, this is what I need, and my internal experience makes sense,” the child may learn to look outside themselves for cues about who they should be. Their natural emotions and impulses can begin to feel unsafe, excessive, inconvenient, or wrong.For many people, one adaptation is intellectualization.Instead of fully experiencing emotions, they analyze them. They may become highly self-aware, reflective, articulate, or skilled at understanding other people, while remaining disconnected from their own needs and emotional impulses. Thinking becomes safer than feeling.These patterns can become especially noticeable in adult relationships.Watch the full episode to learn more about healing emotional neglect. DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace professional mental health or medical care. If you are experiencing significant psychological distress or are seeking treatment for trauma or other mental health concerns, consider speaking with a qualified healthcare professional.

Full Episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapyWhy can guilt feel so intense after complex trauma—even when you logically know you haven’t done anything wrong?In this episode, psychologists Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri explore the connection between complex trauma (CPTSD), guilt, and shame, and explain why these emotions can become deeply ingrained after years of emotional neglect, criticism, abuse, or unpredictable relationships.We explore why people with complex trauma can feel responsible for other people’s emotions, why forgiveness and reassurance can sometimes feel threatening, and how trying desperately not to become a “burden” can lead to emotional suppression, overwhelm, and even greater guilt. We also discuss how these patterns can increase vulnerability to manipulation and shape the kinds of relationships that feel familiar or “safe.”Finally, we explore how to begin changing your relationship with guilt, separating genuine responsibility from trauma-based shame, validating your emotional experience, and building hope that the patterns you learned to survive do not have to define the rest of your life.If you’ve ever felt guilty for having needs, struggled to believe reassurance from other people, or felt like your emotions make you an inconvenience, this episode is for you.Chapters:00:09 Complex Trauma and Guilt 02:13 Changing Your Relationship to Guilt 06:58 Ted Lasso and Forgiveness 10:33 The Threat of Forgiveness 14:02 Overwhelmed by Coping Mechanisms 15:42 Susceptibility to Manipulation 22:50 A Roadmap Out 28:57 Emotional Neglect 36:49 How To Build Hope

Subscribe to our patreon for more exclusive content-- Patreon Subscription Link: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapyDr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri are psychologists who specialize in helping people better understand themselves, their relationships, and the patterns that shape how they see themselves.In this episode, they break down what self-worth actually is, why childhood experiences, shame, and unhealthy relationships can make you question your value, and the practical steps you can take to build a healthier sense of self-worth.They explore why tying your worth to achievements or other people creates instability, how low self-worth can keep you stuck in relationships that reinforce old wounds, and why developing boundaries, self-empathy, and trust in your own reality are essential parts of healing.They also explain why growth can initially feel uncomfortable—and why learning to tolerate doubt while changing old patterns may actually be a sign that your sense of self-worth is becoming stronger.#selfworth #selfesteem #relationships #relationshipadvice #psychology #mentalhealth #healing #shame #boundaries #selflove #attachment #childhoodtrauma #peoplepleasing #emotionalhealing #therapy #personalgrowth #selfrespect

Many people find that they are either too distant or too desperate during the dating process. These patterns often have deeper roots in attachment, nervous system responses, past relationship experiences, and for some, neurodivergence.ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence can intensify experiences like rejection sensitivity, hyperfocus, impulsivity, emotional intensity, and difficulty regulating uncertainty in relationships. Combined with anxious or avoidant attachment patterns, dating can quickly become a cycle of chasing, withdrawing, overthinking, or feeling overwhelmed by connection.Watch this episode to learn more about the underlying reasons these patterns occur, how attachment and neurodivergence can shape the dating process, and how to begin navigating relationships in a healthier and more secure way.#DatingAdvice #AttachmentStyles #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #SecureAttachment #ADHDRelationships #ADHDInAdults #Neurodivergent #Neurodivergence #DatingWithADHD #RejectionSensitivity #RelationshipPsychology #AttachmentTheory #DatingPsychology #HealthyRelationships #EmotionalRegulation #RelationshipAdvice