377: What if you were a gay, Mormon, drug-dealing, federal informant?

A man shaped by cruelty devotes his life to defending the condemned, discovering that real courage lies not in victory, but in standing beside the most despised. Today’s episode featured Clive Stafford Smith. If you’d like to reach out to Clive, you can email him at [email protected]. You can find Clive on X/Twitter @CliveSS and on Instagram @clivestaffordsmith To find out more about the work Clive does, visit https://justiceleague.org.uk/.  Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason Blalock Content/Trigger Warnings: Child abuse, Child Molestation, Child Murder, Physical violence, Emotional neglect, Execution, Capital punishment, Racism, Racial violence, Torture, State violence, Mental illness, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: Uncertain Outcomes ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A woman, who ignores her instincts, enters a marriage that soon spirals into betrayal and control. When the truth finally comes to light, she must choose between devastation and the chance to reclaim her life. Today’s episode featured Amy Irvine. If you’d like to reach out to Amy, you can email her at [email protected]. You can find Amy on social media @pinkish_7 and/or @pinkish_77 on Instagram A special thanks to Todd Renenbohm of the Bunny Hugs & Mental Health Podcast for referring Amy to us. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz Content/Trigger Warnings: Child emotional abuse and neglect, Body shaming and eating-related control, Sexual coercion and marital rape, Drugging and sexual assault, Domestic violence and attempted strangulation, Psychological and emotional manipulation, Infidelity and betrayal, Threat to animals, Discussion of multiple victims of sexual assault, Trauma recovery and PTSD, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: Union Flow ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After losing himself to meth and a double life as a federal informant, a man’s world collapses after one of his buyer’s overdoses, and recovery begins as he confronts the child within. Today’s episode featured Sean Hemeon. His forthcoming memoir, The Good Little Drug Lord, does not yet have a set publication date, but you can follow him for updates.You can email Sean at [email protected]. Sean is on Instagram @Sean_Hemeon. Follow his website seanhemeon.com for updates on his forthcoming memoir. And a special thanks to Todd Renenbohm of the Bunny Hugs & Mental Health podcast for referring Sean to our show. Todd has an 8 part documentary podcast series out on Oct 1 entitled Transgression - My search for the REAL trans agenda in Saskatchewan. You can find out more about this series on instagram @TransgressionseriesCheck out the trailer here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/transgression/id1841926991Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason Blalock Content/Trigger Warnings: Child sexual abuse / molestation, Physical violence / assault, Homophobia / slurs, Suicide attempt / suicidal ideation, Addiction and drug use, Overdose and death, Parental neglect / emotional abuse / parentification, Moral injury and guilt, Religious trauma, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com  Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: Re-Entry ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When a sudden car crash shatters her world, a woman’s grief and struggle to keep living leads her to an unexpected rebirth of love.Today’s episode featured Polly Vickery. If you’d like to contact Polly, you can email her at [email protected]. Polly is on Instagram and Facebook @PollyVickery    Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Ellen (Elly) Westberg, Aviva LipkowitzContent/Trigger Warnings: Child death, Spousal death, Graphic accident details, Medical trauma, Grief and bereavement, Suicidal ideation, Survivor’s guilt, Anxiety/PTSD, explicit languageSocial Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.comWebsite for Ellen Westberg: shedatespodcast.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: Cylinder Four  ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After a prominent life filled with passion and adventure ends with the death of her brilliant but volatile husband, a woman journeys to Guatemala to heal, only to be captured, and her fight to survive transforms her life forever.  Today’s episode featured Brenda Coffee. You can email Brenda at [email protected]. She is on Instagram @1010ParkPlace. Visit her website at brenda-coffee.com.Brenda is the author of MAYA BLUE: A Memoir of Survival, published 05/25, a memoir that reads like a thriller. It is Working Girl meets Taken. A true story of love, cocaine, Big Tobacco, abduction, and survival. Nominated for the 2025 Kirkus Prize and included on Maria Shriver's 2025 Summer Reads list. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz Content/Trigger Warnings: parentification, domestic violence, intimate partner abuse, drug making and using, addiction, gun violence, sexual assault/attempted rape, child exploitation, cancer & illness, death & grief, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: Ambient Themes ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

While hunting in the Canadian wilderness, a man accidentally comes between a grizzly bear cub and its mother, and a terrifying fight for his life ensues that will change him forever.Today we bring you the final episode of our annual 5-week summer rebroadcast series. We will return with all new episodes starting next Tuesday, September 16, 2025 . Today’s rebroadcast episode “What if you were mauled by a grizzly bear?” originally aired as episode 262 on January 24, 2023.   Today's episode featured Jeremy Evans. You can find many more details about Jeremy and this story in his incredible memoir, 'Mauled: Lessons Learned from a Grizzly Bear Attack', published by Rocky Mountain Books. To contact Jeremy you can reach out to his Publicist at [email protected] or contact Jeremy directly at [email protected] Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Content/Trigger Warnings: very graphic bodily injury, graphic description of blood and medical situations, attempted suicide, violence inflicted on a child, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: “Union Flow” – Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A young woman hungry to explore the world goes on a trip to Tanzania and unexpectedly finds herself caught in an endless cycle of impending doom.Today we bring you the ninth episode of our annual 5-week summer rebroadcast series, airing 2 episodes a week. We will return with all new episodes starting Tuesday, September 16, 2025 . Today’s rebroadcast episode “What if you didn’t sleep for 120 hours?” originally aired as episode 170 on December 1, 2020.    Today’s episode featured Emily Caldwell. You can find out more about her on Instagram @emilycaldwell589Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Content/Trigger Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, medical trauma, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: “Union Flow” – Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Always feeling she had failed the ideals of her strict Muslim, South Asian family and community, a woman struggles to navigate trauma, shame and self-expression, when unexpected news forces her into a powerful reckoning.Today we bring you the seventh episode of our annual 5-week summer rebroadcast series, airing 2 episodes a week. We will return with all new episodes starting Tuesday, September 16, 2025 . Today’s rebroadcast episode “What if you could never be what they wanted?” originally aired as episode 246 on September 13, 2022.   Today‘s episode featured Azzah Ahmad. You can find out more about Azzah by visiting her Instagram page @LifeazziknowitProducers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Sara Marinelli Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse of a minor, suicidal ideation, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After a woman’s Mormon family falls apart following the death of her father, her mother brings her to a Scientology Center where she leaves everything behind.Today we bring you the sixth episode of our annual 5-week summer rebroadcast series, airing 2 episodes a week. We will return with all new episodes starting Tuesday, September 16, 2025 . Today’s rebroadcast episode “What if you signed a billion-year contract?” originally aired as episode 243 on August 23, 2022.   Today’s episode featured Katherine Mcelhinny. If you’d like to reach out to her, you can email at [email protected]. She also has a gofundme page. If you’d like to donate to her, you can do so here: https://gofund.me/3ab57d56Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Sara Marinelli Content/Trigger Warnings: abuse of a minor, parental neglect, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comWebsite for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five" – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After growing up queer with a complicated father in the 1960s, a man forges his own path, identity and career in the arts, but suddenly, after a routine surgery, he wakes up unable to move. Today we bring you the fifth episode of our annual 5-week summer rebroadcast series, airing 2 episodes a week. We will return with all new episodes starting Tuesday, September 16, 2025 . Today’s rebroadcast episode “What if you woke up and couldn’t move?” originally aired as episode 242 on August 16, 2022.   Today’s episode featured John Killacky. You can find out more about John by going to johnkillacky.com with links to his book, “because art: commentary, critique, & conversation” as well as links to some of his films.Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits  Content/Trigger Warnings: graphic medical descriptions, paralysis, suicidal ideation, explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter: @TIAHPodcast Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: “Union Flow" - Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.