The Relaxed Male podcast

How Men Talk To Each Other

0:00
31:47
Rewind 15 seconds
Fast Forward 15 seconds
Men talk to each other in a way that women and some modern males don’t understand. You hear talk of how toxic masculinity is the problem with society and part of that toxic masculinity is how men talk to each other. They mention how we tease young men as they start to develop facial hair and we suggest putting some milk on that peach fuzz and letting the cat lick it off.

Some folks believe that is mean and hurtful. When in reality not exposing your son to those innocent taunts is setting him up for failure

We enjoy trash talk

Men like to talk trash. It is a means to build bonds and to test each other’s wit and how fast we can think on our feet. It is a fun and challenging skill to have. To be able to talk trash and then back it up, cause if you fail at walking the walk you will get piled on even worse. This way it teaches a man how, to be honest, and to not be boastful. The ribbings are good for us They show the rest of the group that the new guy can take it. It is a means of understanding new guy It builds bonds

Men talk directly

Proper communication is direct. To hem and haw around the topic doesn’t serve anybody. Because what is implied by one man is easily misinterpreted by another guy. This is a skill nice guys have to fight off for the rest of their lives. it is so easy to fall back into the habit of beating around the bush that we lose the effectiveness of a good direct line of communication. Men talk assertively Nice guys don’t like to talk assertively

Grown boys communicate in three infective ways

Passive

Aggressive

Passive-aggressive

We teach our boys how to handle their emotions by ribbing them. This helps boys grow thicker skin and not be overly sensitive. We do a huge disservice to our boys by coddling them. Yes that is what moms are suppose to do while men are there to help them understand how to use their emotions effectively.

Many people don’t like this kind of talk because of the following reasons.

they find it intimidating

they find assertive communication to be mean. 

More episodes from "The Relaxed Male"

  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Fighting Burnout

    30:41

    What is burnout Burnout is the loss of drive to do a particular task. Often the act of burning out isn't so much the problem as the effort we put in to try to push through that burnout. As a whole, it is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. It happens when we become overwhelmed by the constant demands of a task. This often happens in an office scenario. Where the team is pushing to complete a project. Burnout often is very prevalent in the crunch for game programmers. What causes burnout? The main culprit is when you are not feeding your soul. The job is just that a job. You don't receive any emotional or mental reward for doing that particular job. When a person is doing a job that is in their Zone of Excellence but not in their Zone of Genius. When you are not in your Zone Of Genius you are often having a bit of resistance at first but as you go that resistance gets greater and greater till you burn out. Problems with burnout Burnout is one of those things that can be a slight irritation or it can even lead to a person's death. Depending on how severe the burnout is. I have seen men who have left their dream job simply because they just can't do it anymore. There is a reason Sunday night and Monday morning are when most suicides occur. Physical problems Take all the problems of stress and happy them here. High blood pressure? Yep Heart problems? Yep Weight gain? Yep Headaches Overall body aches? Yep yep yep Decreased libido? Yes to the limp noodle Mental problems Irritable or even anger Lack of focus sadness and depression Lack of sleep Emotional problems Causes people to seek other forms of escaping Increased alcohol intake Other drugs Affairs How do you avoid burnout? Notice the Signs of Burnout. Lack of motivation Sense of dread when thinking of work Avoiding Burnout Take a break! Take an extended break Mix it up find how to apply your zone of genius to the project Say No Talk to your Band of Brothers Eliminate delegate
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Men's Need for Violence

    24:13

    Men need violence in their lives. For today's society that sounds almost scary. What! See this is toxic masculinity at its core! Men need to be removed from all of society because they are advocating everything violent. All the wars are fought because of men. Crimes are committed because of men. Well, this isn't exactly the case but the saying, Hard times make strong men strong men make good times  good times make weak men  weak men make hard times. this phrase shows how society has cycles, and those cycles need men who have violence in their lives. So there should be killing going on? Well no not fully to that extent of violence though non-masculine men do resort to that type of violence. When they think they have something to prove. Violence in one's life can mean many different things. It is more about doing stuff aggressively. To have controlled violence in your life is an element all men need for them to be able to maintain the needed strength and to have the calm they desire in their lives. When men don't have struggle and controlled violence in their lives this is where they often will turn to other substances and unhealthy coping mechanisms. This is to buffer the emotional turmoil they are having because they are not venting the violent need in their life Men are built for violence Look at boys at play They are always wrestling and roughhousing. This expels more energy than just running or swinging. They will imitate war when giving the right tools. Be it a stick and a pine cone. They will have machine guns to fight off an invasion or try to recreate the battle of Iwo Jima. Look through history Gladiators In Rome, there were violent competitions that pitted man to man and man versus nature. These were used as a form of sports. This distracted men from their day-to-day grinds. by watching men get eviscerated the violence we see helps with sedating the need for violence in our life. If a man is sedated then he is less likely to talk about any need to rise against any injustices he witnesses. Public executions Public executions also showed that men were always out to see violent events. No matter what their reason why public executions always brought forth huge crowds some as large as 100,000 people would attend if the convict was vile enough. No Boxing in the west Interesting boxing was huge in the east. There was and still is a large turnout for boxing matches in places like Atlantic City. Yet boxing never really took off in the west. Yeah, promoters would try to bring boxing to places like Dodge City and the such yet it never really caught on. Why? My thought is that the men had enough violence in their own life that they didn't need to watch men beat themselves up. Their need for violence was full. Look at Seattle and Portland for when men don't have normal violence in their lives. A recent example of men not having intentional violence in their lives is the young men in the west coast cities of Seattle and Portland. These men have needed manufactured strife in their lives. So they join groups like Antifa. Where they can justify their violent actions against a perceived enemy. They burn buildings hit people with bricks, skateboards, and baseball bats. Sometimes going as far as killing those who went as far as questioning their reasons. Sporting Events From Football to hockey there are men on the field who are interacting violently. This is one-way men try to satiate the need for them to get out and exercise their need for controlled violence Go, Hunting Besides getting outside this allows for men to provide for their family and community by harvesting meat from nature When a man has violence in their life they are more balanced in their mental processes. They are calmer Examples as to when men had satiated their violence Yes, some ignore the need for men to have violence in their lives. The APA even looks at masculinity with the wrong lens. They look at it in a way to try to remove violence from a masculine man when in reality men need to have that violence to stay sane. The Missing Point Doesn't violent men make for unsafe women? No, You are mistaking Unmasculine men with masculine men. An unmasculine man has all the tools for a masculine man. A penis and testicles and the testosterone that comes from this. The strength and muscle mass and added energy that comes from testosterone. The missing point is not knowing how to use this tool correctly. If you are using a hammer to drive a screw in you will do way more damage to the wood than if you were to use a screwdriver. If you are using a knife to pry apart two rocks, you run the risk of breaking the knife. Have a piece of the blade fly back at you and injure yourself. Each tool has a specific purpose and this goes with masculinity. It can be used to destroy or build. The choice is in the man. If a boy has been shown how a noble masculine man acts he will be a credit to society. If a boy grows up without a good and just man in the house he will learn how to use the tools at his disposal by other boys who don't have men in their houses either. When masculinity is correctly applied you have safer women. You also have women who are stronger and more sure of their place and purpose. When there is a masculine man in a woman's life. She doesn't have to strike out at others out of fear How to apply violence into your life Exercise more aggressively Join a Martial Arts Group Find a heavy rock and throw it in the backyard Play sports Get out and go hunting
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Don't miss an episode of The Relaxed Male and subscribe to it in the GetPodcast app.

    iOS buttonAndroid button
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Standards, Why They Matter

    32:59

    What are standards? Your standard is a level of quality you accept. Too many people tolerate things below their claimed standards. Maybe it is the incompetence of a co-worker. Your spouses infidelity Examples of low level standards Poor health Over weight Relationships The quality of your friends marriage quality Work relations Career the Level of your income Being skipped over for promotions Why are they important? How do you raise your standards? Set healthy boundaries Voice what is bothering you Why are you allowing substandard living? recognize when you are tolerating the low standards do the work start recognizing your value in the world. raise that value. let go of your limiting beliefs
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    The Perceived Virtues of Victims

    39:35

    If you have heard any other episodes or read any of my blog posts you know that I am not a fan of people who are victims. I often say, and rightfully so, victims are not respected because they dont earn anybodies respect. If that is the case then why do so many people turn to the victim mindset? Then you look at todays society and you see people parading around screaming about how they are victims of hate. Victims of white people. Victims of corporations. Victims of Slavery. Victims of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yeah Peanut butter and jelly sandwich is racist. The whole woke culture is a culture of see who can be victimized the worst and then they want to celebrate the victim. This is sad on one hand because of the absolute absurdity of it all, and horrifying because it is backed by the schools these parents pay for. So what is a victim? A victim is a person who voluntarily gives up their personal power to another person or thing. It is easy We all fall into the victim mindset from time to time so you know how easy it is to be a victim. Yet sadly it is a type of manipulation. You are lying to people saying that it isn't your fault that are in the situation that you are in. Yet if you were to be honest you would see that yes it was your fault for putting yourself into that situation. That is why men will take responsibility for those times that they failed. Those times that they didn't complete the work they were suppose to. Take being late for an event. Many times you will hear that it was traffics fault. When in all reality you left too late. You didn't account for traffic snarls. You didn't properly prepare for your journey. Yeah you may want to take the power you had and delegate it to the inanimate object of the traffic situation. Yet the real power is that you chose to leave too late. It gives immediate acknowledgment Someone will always come and feel sorry for you. They 'Help' you and tend to you and they show you how they are sorry for your hard times. It is comfortable Yes it is comfortable. Some people may try to argue, how being a victim is being comfortable. You think it is comfortable to be taken advantage of? I now dont have enough money to pay rent. This is what happens with the poor. They dont have the mindset to build wealth and then people wonder why they are poor. There is this concept called the upper limit challenge. WHen you exceed your upper limit you will do what ever you can to get back down to a more comfortable level. That is why if you give a poor man a 10 million dollars they will have it spent with in a year. The Victim's perception of worry is drowned out. Why worry about anything when you can have others do the work for you? That is one of the big reasons for playing the victim. it is too uncomfortable to actually fess up to the fact that it is your fault that you are in your own mess. The Victim avoid's responsibility It is always someone else's fault for the problems they are. You will see people complain that their pants are wet and muddy all because they are sitting in a mud puddle, and instead of getting up out of the mud they are handed a new pair of pants and complain about the same thing because they never changed their environment. All that sounds great but why is victim mindsets so bad? Because people get tired of the constant fires they have to put out for you. It is never your fault and so the other person eventually gets tired of the constant crisis and they leave. So the victim then has a real crisis on their hands. Nobody is going to come rescue them so they have to find another person to take care of them. Yet because you are always giving up your power you feel helpless and you starve your soul for what it needs. There for most victims become angry bitter and resentful. Many victims also have a scarcity mindset and do not feel gratitude towards anything they are helped with. There is a charity cycle that many organizations find themselves in when they try to help. At first the victims find themselves happy and grateful for the charitable gifts. Yet each year the gift is given those who come bace are more and more ungrateful and feel entitled to new and better. This cycle happens each time you help a person and not give them the ability to help themselves. Many will fight against helping themselves. They will come across every reason possible so that they dont have to help themselves. Victims can’t grow Because the victim doesn't take responsability and they are looking for people to rescue them, victims miss all the oppertunities available to them that allows them to grow and learn from their mistakes. Because they are usually in a state of scarcity they are often focused on what it is that they dont have instead of seeing all the resources that are available with in their reach. Since they dont want to see and are comfortable in their own misery they dont want to do the work needed to dig themselves out of that hole and to live their wonderful life. If you are wanting to get out of the victim mindset and start living a life of of intention and integrity you can work with me and see how I can help you shed that old lifestyle of misery and live life on your terms.
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Timothy Dexter and The Laws of Attraction

    36:21

    You have heard of the Laws of attraction right? Some folks don't buy the whole laws of attraction they say it is only skill and discipline. These are the people who also believe that there are times that a person can get lucky. Well, I came across a guy in history who without realizing it applied the laws of attraction and achieved his wants and desires. This guy's name is Timothy Dexter. What is the laws of attraction The Laws of attraction has been around for a long time, but it first came to prominence thanks to Abraham Hicks. Which their whole story is a bit on the woo-woo side and a bit hard to swallow. Yet if you can get past the fake-sounding Romany accent on the tapes the information is pretty good. The Laws are the belief that the universe or God provides you what you truly want. It is all based on your thoughts. If you have a big sales meeting that you are cant be late to. Yet, your belief that something is going to happen so that you are late, Then you will wake up with a flat and your battery is dead. There will be a huge wreck on the way to the meeting. It will seem as if the universe is trying to make you late. If you think and believe that you are going to score that big account you are going to. The Laws of Attraction deal with a lot of visualizations and affirmations. Then add on your belief that you will either succeed or not succeed and the universe will manifest the results you most want to have. So how does Timothy Dexter fit into this? Timothy Dexter was a man who was born in 1747 to a poor farming family, He dropped out of school in the second grade, and at the age of 16 he decided he wanted to become rich. So he left the farming life to become a tanner apprentice. Realizing that he couldn't get rich being a tanner he left the business and married a wealthy widow, Elizabeth Frothingham. With his newfound wealth, he bought a mansion in Newburyport, Ma. Yet he annoyed the others who were of old money because they realized he was weird and very simple in his form of thinking. Yet he still wanted to be richer still. So the Continental Congress, to fund the revolutionary war, had started printing its own money so that they could pay their troops. The problem is that the money wasn't with anything. So the rich society folks of Newburyporttrying to ruin him told him he should go and buy up all the continental dollars because if the US wins their freedom then they will pay back 1% of the value of those dollars. That is precisely what Timothy did. Now many people really didn't believe that the new country had a chance of defeating the most powerful army in the world. When the US lost, all that money Timothy bought would be worthless. Well if you are paying attention to history you know that the US didn't lose and Timothy became even richer. Now what he did with all that extra loot? He builds the most ostentatious mansion in the middle of the rich district of Newburyport. He surrounded it with 40 large wooden statues of who he thought was important men, this included himself. Timothy also bought two ships for his shipping endeavors. Because his "friends" in society were a bit miffed that his bad advice had netted him some large gains. So his business friends suggested that he ship bed warmers to the Caribbean. Thinking that they will not have a use for bed warmers. Except they turned out to be excellent molasses ladles. They also suggested that he send woolen mittens to the same place. Yet They found some Asian traders who bought them all up so they could send them to Siberia. So his ships kept coming back making him richer and his friends even more befuddled and angry. Timothy then gathered up all the stray cats in Newburyport and sent them to the Caribbean only to again succeed because they were in the middle of a rat infestation. He sent bibles to the east indies and made a profit because there were missionaries that needed them. He was also convinced that he needed to buy up all the whalebone. At the time whalebone was losing value fast. YEt when he had a basement packed full of these bones suddenly it became popular for men to wear corsets and they needed all the whalebone they could manage. So again his friends had inadvertently given him an opportunity to make even more money. Now he was quirky and illiterate. Even so, he wrote two books. The first on A Pickle for the Knowing Ones was a 25-page essay with no punctuations. People couldn't understand what he had written because he wrote sort of phonetically. IME the first Lord in the younited States of A mericary Now of Newburyport it is the voise of the peopel and I cant Help it and so Let it goue Now as I must be Lord there will foller many more Lords pretty soune for it dont hurt A Cat Nor the mouse Nor the son Nor the water Nor the Eare then goue on all is Easey Now bons broaken all is well all in Love Now I be gin to Lay the corner ston and the kee ston with grat Remembrence of my father Jorge Washington the grate herow 17 sentreys past before we found so good a father to his shildren and Now gone to Rest Timothy Dexter - A Pickle for the Knowing Ones Yet they bought the book because they thought it was a joke. His second edition of the book had punctuation. They were all on the last page with instructions to pepper and salt these as you please. So was he a master genius? No, but I do see the laws of attraction in effect. I see his belief that he could make himself a success and the universe or God took his desires and made them real. Notes on Timothy Dexter Today I found out Wikipedia Looking to take control of your life? Brotherhood of Men
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Women Detest Nice Guys

    36:13

    There is one thing women absolutely hate and that is the one thing society has pushed on men. The Nice Guy. Ever since the industrial revolution men have been raised by their mothers. Dads leave to go to the factory and come home at the end of the day. They may get weekends with them but that's not a guarantee. Now because of this, we have been getting more and more nice guys showing up in the world. Nice guys are not nice. Nice Guys and People pleasers are liars and manipulators. Just about everything a Nice Guy does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone’s approval or to avoid disapproval. Robert Glover "No More Mr. Niceguy" There are several tactics nice guys use to manipulate those around them. Covert Contracts They lie to others and themselves Not share ideas Try to control all aspects of the situation Cant handle emotions Emotions to a nice guy are anxiety-ridden messes. They cant have extreme emotions of any angle because Women have to be the leaders Because nice guys don’t want to be seen as being bossy they will not take the lead in anything. So to fill the void of leadership the woman has to take the reins and that isn't what they signed up for. Ask their wives for decisions. Instead of stating their intentions, they beg their wife and girlfriend if they can go out and play golf or ride a bike. The woman of the house has to become momma to this grown man. Nice guys are liars to make sure they are liked by as many people as possible they will change their story as to fit those around them. They will not even see that they are telling any lies because many nice guys pride themselves on being honest. They will boost to those who will hear that they are as honest as the day is long. Yet then over-promise and then make as many excuses as they can to cover when they are not able to deliver. They don’t have their own thoughts. Nice guys will go with the flow. They would be the greatest debaters they can be because they pick up everybody else's thoughts and make them their own. They will not have a thought that is outside of the norm because they don't want people to be upset. Seek the approval of women over men This often comes from their upbringing. Many times boys who are raised by women, only know how to relate to women Nice Guys don't have the skills to handle the interactions of men. So they hang around women more and have very few guy friends. Often they are also seen as a Momma's boy, because they are so loyal to the approval of their mom. Give up their balls Because they don't make the decisions and they give up their leadership they basically give up their man card in hopes of being able to sleep with their wife or girlfriend. Because nice guys won't commit to one thought they are soft and women hate men who are not able to take charge. Women love a guy who says they are going here or doing this. They want a guy who can lead. So they turn to the jerk because that is the closest semblance of masculinity they see. Avoid masculinity Men are loud, rambunctious, they are not always gentle with their words. Men will call it as they see it. This is scary to a nice guy. The actions and words used are intimidating to a nice guy so they avoid men. Which is to their detriment. This is because hanging out with good noble men is the best way to drive the nice guy out of a grown boy. When you hang out with real men you see how they act and you start to talk like they do. You talk in an assertive manner and you start to get noticed, which is also scary for Nice Guys Lack of meaningful relationships with men Because they don't hang out with men and do hang out with women more they don't have the needed masculine friends in their life that they actually need. Sacrifice for the approval of others. Nice guys will give up their integrity for the approval of others. Internally blame others When they don't get their way they blame everybody else. Resentful of the women they want sex from The nice guy will often perform different actions for the woman in their life with the covert contract in place. then when the woman doesn't follow that contract then he gets resentful. He will sabotage romantic endeavors so to prove his point. Yet he will not blame himself for the problem, it is her fault. Why doesn't she like sex She is just a bitch I try to help around the house and all she does is gripe about my work. I bought her a new ring so I deserve a roll in the hay. etc Is always playing the victim Since they are not able to take command of their own action and won't stand for anything, nice guys tend to be the victims. they blame everybody but themselves. People who cant take responsibility for their actions do not get respect and without respect, they don't get the attention they want. Now you see why the nice guy doesn’t have sex that they wish for. and women grow tired of having weak and pitiful men taking the place of a strong commanding man.
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    You Are Not Broken

    29:09

    What does it mean when you are broken. Feeling a sense of no hope Beaten Whooped upon Feel like you need to just give up. Feel that you can't give any more Feel lost. How do you get back up? Understand what you are actually feeling. This is when you need that little extra push to get yourself past that sensation. That feeling of being broken often means that you are right at the cusp of a huge breakthrough. Feeling broken also can be helped by talking to a therapist. There is a whole group dedicated to ensuring that you power through this feeling of loss and you stay with us without checking out. How do you heal? Grant yourself some grace Get help from your Band of Brothers These men are able to help you but they can only help you if you tell them what the problem is. examine the feelings you are experiencing Use your purpose and your hobbies. Find the things that you can find joy in. Stick with the gratitude journal Understand that life is 50% pain and 50% Pleasure so yeah you are going to feel the unwanted negative, but you are also going to have joy and happiness and purpose and all the other positive emotions in your life.
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Are You Wetting the Leather?

    26:07

    When it comes to events in your life we have to take into consideration what you are starting with. Many times as men get frustrated with the lack of results that we get when we try something. The problem is what are you starting with? The meaning is this, guys, we want instant results. Many people grow frustrated with our jobs when we just started, we wonder why we are not higher up in the echelon of our jobs. We wonder why we have no credibility when we just start something. These are problems of us not wedding the leather before we start the pump. What are you talking about? What I'm actually referring to are the old-style hand pumps that used to be how people took water out of the ground. You have a well whole older well you dropped a bucket down the well. But later on, you would actually have a hand pump. This hand pump was just as it sounds you actually had to take a handle and move it up-and-down up-and-down until you got water to come out There were times that you would actually find these hand wells dotted around the countryside. Some were used a lot while others we rarely used. These later ones are what I want to focus on. Many times if you came across one of these wells there would be a bottle of water lying next to the well. Why was this bottle here? Because you have a choice. You can either drink the hot stale water that was in the bottle, or you could pour that water down the well. Now depending on the level of thirst you had, you may be tempted to drink that bottle of nasty water in the bottle. That would be something a person with a scarcity mindset would do. Yet if you have an abundant mindset you can pout that water down the well. Yeah, this may seem like a waste. You are thirsty NOW! Yet if you know how these old wells work you know that there are leather baffles in the well. IF this well isn't used much those valves dry out and they shrink. So you don't get the lift and suction you want from this hand well. You can pump and pump and pump and no water would ever rise. Yet if you pour that water down the well you wet the leather valves and they expand and start working as they are intended. Once the valves are wet they start drawing up the water and soon you will have all the water you could ever possibly drink. Now, this isn't the only problem. You also have the problem of how deep the well is. Sometimes you have to pump for 10 minutes or even more before the water comes rushing out. There is a saying in the south the deeper the well the sweeter and colder the water is. You have to put stuff in before you get stuff out. Zig Ziglar This also goes for work. When you first start on a job you have to provide value for your pay. The employer is actually taking a chance on you and your sales pitch. So how do you rise in the ranks of your work? How do you build the needed trust in your boss so that he knows you are up for the task with each promotion? You have to take initiative. You have to prime the pump of success. That means you have to do some menial tasks and work on them as if the whole company depends on your work. This also goes with customers you may be trying to get to sign on with your own business. They don't trust you at first. They see you as just another person selling to them. To wet the leather of that pump you have to take your time and fully understand what it is that they need before you offer them a solution. That may mean talking with them several times for the next few weeks. You have to listen and fully understand the problem before you do the ask. Goes for marriages You have to put into your marriage, emotional security. You can't just take and take, or you will wind up with an emotionally exhausted spouse who will one day decide that she is done and leaves. This is where the nice guys always fail. He is taking emotionally by requiring emotions from his spouse or girlfriend and he never repays the emotional debt he has created.
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    How Men Talk To Each Other

    31:47

    Men talk to each other in a way that women and some modern males don’t understand. You hear talk of how toxic masculinity is the problem with society and part of that toxic masculinity is how men talk to each other. They mention how we tease young men as they start to develop facial hair and we suggest putting some milk on that peach fuzz and letting the cat lick it off. Some folks believe that is mean and hurtful. When in reality not exposing your son to those innocent taunts is setting him up for failure We enjoy trash talk Men like to talk trash. It is a means to build bonds and to test each other’s wit and how fast we can think on our feet. It is a fun and challenging skill to have. To be able to talk trash and then back it up, cause if you fail at walking the walk you will get piled on even worse. This way it teaches a man how, to be honest, and to not be boastful. The ribbings are good for us They show the rest of the group that the new guy can take it. It is a means of understanding new guy It builds bonds Men talk directly Proper communication is direct. To hem and haw around the topic doesn’t serve anybody. Because what is implied by one man is easily misinterpreted by another guy. This is a skill nice guys have to fight off for the rest of their lives. it is so easy to fall back into the habit of beating around the bush that we lose the effectiveness of a good direct line of communication. Men talk assertively Nice guys don’t like to talk assertively Grown boys communicate in three infective ways Passive Aggressive Passive-aggressive We teach our boys how to handle their emotions by ribbing them. This helps boys grow thicker skin and not be overly sensitive. We do a huge disservice to our boys by coddling them. Yes that is what moms are suppose to do while men are there to help them understand how to use their emotions effectively. Many people don’t like this kind of talk because of the following reasons. they find it intimidating they find assertive communication to be mean. 
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Aim For Awesome

    18:45

    What holds you back from taking the steps you are wanting to take? Now, these reasons can be many, but one of the biggest reasons is fear. We are afraid that we will change. We fear that our friends won’t like us. We are afraid of what happens if you succeed.  We also fear what people will think if we fail. What happens if we screw something up? What if we are seen as a fraud. Do we really deserve this success if our idea takes off?  According to Tripp Lanier, We want 4 things out of life. Freedom Love To feel Alive Peace. How do you achieve these 4 things? I let you in a little secret you have to play large. Many of us want to play life small and then wonder why we don’t achieve any of these life’s desires. This is because we don’t even give ourselves the ability to try for that awesome life. We aim for the easier that will do. Sometimes by sheer luck we get the awesome spot but that is so much rarer in this case than if we were to aim for awesome. Yet most of the time we are holding ourselves back. Why Aim for awesome? Because you will hit it more times than if you aren’t aiming for it. You may have to give up on the easy steps. You will also miss the crappy events a lot more. You will often land in the average zone, but your chances of being awesome are so much better when you are actually aiming for awesome. Why the Awesome life? Sit back and let your mind wander. You can even do this in the car. Ask yourself what would life be like if your dreams come true? How awesome and fulfilled would you be? What would you do? Now many guys would say they would take it easy, and that would be the wrong answer and that is why you have to keep working. The moment you start coasting is the moment you start slowing down.  Now does this mean you don’t get to rest? No, actually you get more chances to rest and enjoy life’s sweeter moments but if you think you can just sit back on your laurels then you will find yourself back where you started. The awesome life isn’t an easy life. You have to find out what fulfills you. That is where you find your happiness and fulfillment. Many guys see that life isn’t an easy street when they reach a certain point. That is often because they failed to realize that they are not achieving that peace, aliveness, Love, or Freedom they thought they would have. Instead, they are wrapped up in the fear of what happens next. So they start to play small and with that small action, they let go of what they are really striving for.

Get the whole world of podcasts with the free GetPodcast app.

Subscribe to your favorite podcasts, listen to episodes offline and get thrilling recommendations.

iOS buttonAndroid button